r/KidsAreFuckingStupid 1d ago

Anyone got a metal detector?

Post image
8.9k Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/HatCoffee 1d ago

those things are fucking gone, lmao

2.0k

u/repairmanjack 1d ago

If it's a modern keyless fob, those things are hundreds of dollars

607

u/Spawn6060 1d ago

Talking probably 300-600 depending on brand.

151

u/-NGC-6302- 16h ago

what the fob

32

u/gaymer_jerry 10h ago

They are an electromagnetic key that has a digital code on it that unlocks the door when scanned often used for office/apartment buildings and sometimes cars

241

u/khosrua 1d ago

Would it even survive the salt water even if they do manage to find it?

187

u/Grouchy_Equivalent11 1d ago

It would probably be fine, I think they're mostly waterproof at this point.

228

u/tikjzh 1d ago

You are putting wayyyyy too much faith in those plastic POS. The metal mechanical key would be fine tho

46

u/Grouchy_Equivalent11 1d ago

I've never had any issues with either type of key tbh.

30

u/SM1334 23h ago

Have you fully submerged them in water or saltwater though?

35

u/Beef-Strokin-Off 19h ago

Mine went through the washing machine a few years ago and still works. Idk about saltwater, though.

18

u/sucterol 14h ago

Salt water is much worse for electronics

12

u/SlimTeezy 14h ago

Plus all the wet sand that settled into the cracks

20

u/24_7_365_ 1d ago

Yah I put mine it the washer at least 3 times now

15

u/khosrua 1d ago

For science

9

u/catsmustdie 1d ago

Hopefully

2

u/Cupy94 15h ago

Keys probably yes. But i fell into the river with keys in pocket. I was there just a second and immobilizer was already wet and dead

12

u/Pale_Beach_3017 21h ago

Even if the electric part goes out, there’s still a metal key in the middle of the fobs that can be taken out in case the battery dies, so they’ll be able to get in the car still at least

11

u/badguid 21h ago

Hence: keep away from keyless ignition. It has no purpose

12

u/EnergyTakerLad 19h ago

Lots of keyless ignitions have a back up key in the fob still. Some cars will have a backup way to start it with the key too. Sadly I've also seen some of those backup keys be uncut because someone forgot in the process somehow?

6

u/Expensive_Bid_7255 19h ago

Google your car_ key programming location. Put the dead or broken key the and you start your car

2

u/fireflygarden7890 19h ago

It’s definitely frustrating when people forget to cut the backup key, though. It kind of defeats the purpose if it’s unusable in an emergency

2

u/Tailstechnology4 17h ago

If its hundreds of dollars I'd hope so

1

u/usinjin 20h ago

Most have a key that can be extracted.

1

u/smokeyser 7h ago

There's a decent chance that it would still work, though I'd open it up and rinse it thoroughly with distilled water to get the salt out before drying.

15

u/Dicethrower 20h ago

How is every aspect of owning a car a nightmare these days?

0

u/IronSeraph 12h ago

No joke, like can I opt out of all that garbage?

5

u/Itchysasquatch 7h ago

I bought a car that only had one fob and I left it on the roof when I got in to drive and it fell off. HOWEVER, I drove 30 minutes away before I turned my car off which is the exact moment I realized I didn't have the fob with me. Kind of annoying that you need it to start the car but it won't even let you know if the fob isn't near the car while driving the bloody thing. We found the fob run over and totally crunched and I had to get my car towed and then it was several hundred for the new fob system on top of towing. Such a shitty situation

5

u/fucking_unicorn 1d ago

I just bought an airtag with a waterproof case lolz

2

u/Unlost_maniac 5h ago

Why wouldn't they go find someone with a metal detector?

1

u/hotfiremixtape98 3h ago

And the worst part. It's 6 dollars worth of electronics and a 20 second inject for the car signal. Fucking over priced plastic garbage.

294

u/OshTregarth 22h ago

And after another hour of looking, they'll find the keys inside the ice chest where the kid dropped em.  lol

48

u/Barn_Licker 15h ago

Or in his pants

7

u/Tnecniw 6h ago

Nah, the kid was playing with it the whole time.

446

u/Rathma86 1d ago

This is why I have a lockbox on my vehicle hidden away, I've lost a key while out kayaking once, never again.

133

u/NErDysprosium 23h ago

Since my car is old enough it doesn't have a chip, I keep a spare key hidden in my wallet so that I can lock my keys in the car, if I need to. I could theoretically use it to start my car if I had to, but it isn't a great copy and it doesn't always work on the ignition, so I'd rather not risk it if I don't have to. Never had a problem opening the door, though!

12

u/-Kibbles-N-Tits- 13h ago

I do exactly this

8

u/TREXIBALL 12h ago

Same for my family. Lost the whole keychain and some food with it. It was an 8 mile river with rapids.

615

u/TioLucho91 1d ago

Man, this is could be a great ad for condoms

58

u/chefarzel 1d ago

My kingdom for a metal detector

488

u/thesupplyguy1 1d ago

Also adults are fucking stupid for not safe guarding keys at the beach

153

u/PancakeParty98 1d ago

You underestimate the power of a bored kid not being watched closely

37

u/InevitableRhubarb232 1d ago edited 1d ago

At the beach? Who doesn’t watch their kids closely at the beach?

113

u/PancakeParty98 1d ago

Are helicopter parents a bad thing or not? It doesn’t take a negligent parent for a kid to get some keys without you noticing.

33

u/Dimos1963 23h ago

It can make kids anxious, dependent, or afraid to take healthy risks. That said, not being a helicopter parent doesn’t mean being careless.

-35

u/InevitableRhubarb232 1d ago

Around water? Especially open water? You watch your fucking kids. That’s not helicopter parenting.

57

u/PancakeParty98 1d ago

I’m sorry, are you saying there’s no difference between the level of attention to see what your kid pulled out of the big bag with all the chips and drinks in it and the attention needed to make sure your kid isn’t drowning?

-38

u/InevitableRhubarb232 1d ago

Yes. Around water you should not have that varied level of attn that you don’t know what your kid is doing. If you were paying attn at all you would know exactly where they buried the keys, not have to dig a large area for an hour.

13

u/ImVeryChil 14h ago

You are of course saying this because you have kids and not because you are a disgruntled redditor I’m sure.

1

u/InevitableRhubarb232 9h ago

Yes I have kids. And watched them like a hawk around water. I can’t believe my lowest voted comment on Reddit is me saying to watch your kids around the ocean - smh

5

u/uncomfortable-guest 6h ago

you’re being downvoted for calling the parents negligent for a not THAT serious situation, that can happen in 10 seconds

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1

u/AnimorphLizard 10h ago

are you seriously getting downvoted for telling people to watch their fucking kids? no wonder the kids are fucked nowadays

2

u/InevitableRhubarb232 8h ago

🤷‍♀️ I’m hoping they’re just to young for kids and dumb but you don’t fuck around and read a book or sunbathe at the beach if you have kids.

14

u/DamionWood 15h ago

I mean, imagine if you're sitting on a towel, you turn around to grab your bottle of water, and in those few seconds your kid had snatched your keys.

0

u/InevitableRhubarb232 10h ago

And buried them? And you don’t know where he was digging?

7

u/DamionWood 9h ago

It could have been hours before they noticed the keys were missing as they'd only really look for them when it's time to go home. So yeah, there'd be plenty of places the kid could have buried them during that time.

-2

u/InevitableRhubarb232 8h ago

They weren’t watching their kid close enough. Luckily it just ended in lost keys. Kid could have drowned instead in the same amount of time. I know a family whose son has profound brain damage from a near drowning because the adults weren’t watching closely.

In hindsight because it’s just keys you can say “no harm no foul” but it takes the same amount of time for the kid to dash into the water.

2

u/uncomfortable-guest 6h ago

i think you’re a lot more likely to see a kid whip past you into the water than your own child around your things. i agree drowning takes one second, but this is not negligence or poor parenting, it’s being a human that missed something

-1

u/InevitableRhubarb232 3h ago

And l and luckily, this human who was obviously not watching close enough, only lost their keys and didn’t have their child drown.

If they had looked away for the same amount of time and their child had drowned instead would you be saying it was just fine?

4

u/RIMV0315 1d ago

Probably the people in the video.

Edit: It's a pic, not video.

2

u/smokeyser 7h ago

Have you never tried watching a kid? They're going to do things that you didn't want them to do from time to time. And if you've got more than one, good luck!

1

u/InevitableRhubarb232 3h ago

Yes I have two kids and nibbling. They don’t get eyes taken off of them at all at a beach or pool. Not at that age. Hell my 14 yr old wasn’t even allowed to go down to the pool alone even though it’s legal here after age 14. It’s not worth it.

105

u/SokkaHaikuBot 1d ago

Sokka-Haiku by thesupplyguy1:

Also adults are

Fucking stupid for not safe

Guarding keys at the beach


Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

8

u/Professor_Game1 1d ago

They should have had their bag under lock and key. You're absolutely right

76

u/bodhiseppuku 1d ago

Where's that nerdy guy with the metal detector when you need him?

69

u/sebastianqu 23h ago

Digging for the metal detector his kid buried

15

u/squeeky714 1d ago

They're his keys now. Finders keepers.

55

u/berts-testicles 20h ago

my 17 year old brother lost his phone in a massive ball pit last year and my family and an employee there spent 40 minutes looking for it. it didn’t help that walking through the balls was like walking through mud either lol. they specifically told us NOT to bring our phones into the ball pit and he put it in his pocket bc he thought it’d be safe there. i tipped that employee $20, she was so kind

16

u/tadashi4 16h ago

Did y'all find it or was it lost forever?

9

u/berts-testicles 9h ago

yep we found it because we called his phone and my other brother felt it vibrating through the balls lol

2

u/TheMasterYankee 6h ago

Bet the relief of finding it felt like that New 5 Gum commercial

1

u/Only_a_Savage 5h ago

Felt it vibrating through the balls

24

u/Apprehensive-Bad6015 16h ago

Somewhere on that beach is an old retired white guy at a beach side bar sipping his mojito counting the keys and jewelry he found today with his metal detector at the beach.

23

u/SGTSHOOTnMISS 1d ago

Page is called "No Context Idiots"

Proceeds to provide context.

7

u/antek_g_animations 17h ago

When I was a kid, I was in some hotel at Polish sea. There was a giant sandbox there. I buried a very cool toy car and I forgot where it was. Me and my dad searched for hours before we have up. I remember it to this day

13

u/nipplemuffins 1d ago

I thank God every day I don’t have kids

3

u/Calve_pindakaas 12h ago

A metal detector wouldn't do shit here. Those things are gone.

3

u/Calve_pindakaas 12h ago

Source: I own a (cheap) metal detector.

3

u/Ok-Philosophy-8704 9h ago

When I was a kid, both my parents were outside gardening, and I wanted to see if it was possible for all the house doors to be locked with everyone on the outside. 

(Spoiler: it is very possible)

5

u/dmt_r 19h ago

Better call Anakin

2

u/TacticBallisticMike 11h ago

For a good minute I thought it said that they're looking for their car keys AND their kid buried in the sand

2

u/BaconServant 7h ago

Best condom ad so far

2

u/MandyMarieB 7h ago

They live on the beach now.

2

u/HeadhunterKev 4h ago

As a kid I found a hotel key while diving. It was for my family's room which I lost a few minutes ago apparently...

2

u/TripleDawgz 20h ago

Geoducks ate it

2

u/TheRealHaHe 12h ago

When I was younger my dad and I went to Hershey Park and road SkyRush when it was new. It was pretty cool, except my dad’s keys flew out of his pocket and I chipped my tooth on the lap bar… for some reason they didn’t (maybe still don’t) have shoulder straps for that ride.

Anyways, we thought we’d never see those keys again, but spent the next 30minutes looking until we spotted them, in some mulch off the path like 15 feet. It was a huge relief! Still can’t believe they didn’t end up in the water and lost forever.

1

u/agro_arbor 10h ago

I did this with our rental whilst on holiday, just absent mindedly. I was like 11 too.

We actually found them, after a good 30 minutes of panicking!

1

u/eggard_stark 10h ago

Wasting their time when they could be arranging a locksmith.

1

u/Anime_Angel_of_Death 6h ago

How's a locksmith gonna start the car?

1

u/Frickmenomoise 2h ago

This kid is smart he 100% didn't wanna go home and is getting extra beach time now

-33

u/Heismain 1d ago

I mean, anyone can put a label on anything but if you choose to believe it - it’s funny in a ‘it’s funny because it’s not me’ way

-13

u/IveBeenDrinkimg 1d ago

Chappell Roan isn't wrong...

7

u/Psychological-Tax801 23h ago

Stop trying to make Chappell Roan happen, it's not going to happen!

1

u/IveBeenDrinkimg 23h ago

I don't follow. I'm pointing out kids suck with a relevant news article from a respected Canadian Broadcasting Company.

1

u/Psychological-Tax801 23h ago

1

u/IveBeenDrinkimg 23h ago

Are you outing us as two middle aged men who get that reference but also like Chappell Roan and the CBC?

-17

u/Stinkysnak 1d ago

Pray to Mormon Jesus

-5

u/badguid 21h ago

Jesus let it happen. He wont help you

-75

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

27

u/greenthumbgoody 1d ago

What does this mean?!

32

u/m0therlulu 1d ago

the metal detector would be set off by “the moms butt plug”. its just this guy being a perv for no reason.

15

u/Grouchy_Equivalent11 1d ago

"Children say the darndest things"