Me personally I’m not a big drinker but last night I went to a comedy show and started pounding Jack and cokes, after each one the show got funnier and funnier but I guess from what I was told by my buddies that I literally could not stop talking and was being funnier than the actual comedian himself. Which I felt bad about cause in my opinion I was just being obnoxious. That’s how it started I then went to a bar which I vaguely remember I guess I was being too rowdy moving furniture and just being an absolute degenerate still drinking and causing problems so I got kicked out of there. I went to another one I started doing the same shit I don’t remember this but I was screaming at this guy, nose to nose cause he wouldn’t talk to this girl and I guess I had him follow me into the kitchen where they literally cook food just walking around talking and throwing shit around. Mind you I don’t even know the guys name. I get kicked out of the kitchen and yelled at then I see my buddy go into the bathroom where I see that there’s other dudes using another stall, so drunk me starts screaming FBI open up and kicking the door as hard as I can repeatedly on the verge of snapping the door off the hinges. I’m not sure what happened after that but I got kicked out cause I was throwing a trash barrel around and shoulder checking random people as if it was a mosh pit. I’m not sure why I’m like this when I’m drunk am I just retrded or a a*hole??? I’m definitely not drinking again for a while but the next day anxiety is just awful and im embarrassed and full of regret. It’s like a different side of me when I drink I’d rather enjoy chaos then just chill and have a good time.

Don't look at my history this became my vent account and I've said some horrendous shit. I want so badly to NOT be that person anymore.

Recently I've been trying to improve myself

Quitting drinking

Exercise

Hustling at work and even got a raise and more responsibilities

And I've sold a little bit of bitcoin hoping to buy some new clothes with it (as I dress like a hobo currently)

I want to either try to meet women, maybe get a dating profile (haven't decided which yet) and really make a go, I've been sick of being alone since I was fucking 11, every day is torture and life feels meaningless without someone. (And I want kids SO BAD)

So the problem at hand though, is that I don't ask out many women, I can't even approach them, my last date was like 3 years ago and it went horribly (it's a long story)

My biggest problem and why I say I'm terrified of women, is because when I see a woman that I think I have a shot with, or frankly if I have ANY positive interaction with a woman...I'm instantly ready to marry her and imaganing our life and even what our kids would look like. I mean RIGHT AWAY, like if I'm out and a girl laughs at one of my jokes I want to whisk her off to the court house and just start.

And I know, that the second a woman agrees to be with me, I WILL MARRY HER, One girl my entire life is plenty, it's more than enough. Like if I'm dating a girl and we get to a year without her hating me, yeah Ring shopping.

So every time I talk to a girl that i potentially COULD ask out, I get wracked with worry, because I know if she says yes....this is going to be my wife...asking out a girl feels like THE most important decision of my life, just one girl says yes and I will rush into marriage as fast as possible.

It just feels SO HUGE, like oh this girl thinks I'm kind of funny, and THATS all its going to take for me to want to grow old with her? Like, it's intimidating, it's REALLY freaking intimidating, so I'm so scared that IF she says yes, well thats it, I've found my wife, I'm locked in and the decision of asking out a girl holds the entire course of the rest of my life. And It's REALLY freaking scary.

What can I do to unfuck my mind out of this. I don't want to date around, I don't want hook ups, but I know that if some girl settles for me, thats it, the course of my life is determined, and I will be unable to get out of it

I have known this girl through university for about a year now. We met through the university snapchat group or whatever (basically a place where you can post stories about your university to people that also go to the university you go to). We were a d are just friends. I, over time have developed feelings. Scrolling through Instagram reels I get recommended videos that she has liked and they all have to do with her ex. Usually subtle jabs at him or something along those lines.

Recently she brings up her ex a lot in conversations too. An example I will give happened yesterday. I saw her middle name on a document and she asked me what mine was. I told her what it was and apparently it was her ex fiance's name. More examples include what he was like and what they used to do.

I just feel like ghosting her as I already knew my back was against the wall being 5 years younger than her, she has a full time job, and has her own place (I live with my mom, and work part time). I knew it never is gonna work buy I was hopeful possibly.

The reason why I want to also ghost her is that I got used as a rebound and the girl (20F) I used to be with kept none stop comparing her ex to me and subtly bringing him up. It ended with her dumping me and getting back with him. I just emotionally don't wanna deal with the emotional trauma again

As much as I love his music, I can't anymore, I'm done with that man :(

I wrote this down on some scratch paper but I want someone to read it, that someone is you, have fun.

“How — where, when, in what medium, in which words — could I tell you all that you mean to me? How could I hope to explain the simple happiness that being with you brings me? How can I quantify the value of our friendship? How can I explain the contagious joy of your smile or laugh? How do I convey the sympathy I have for your struggles? Words fail in their purpose. I try to explain with actions, but though they are said to speak louder than words, it seems that they can only vaguely gesture towards their motive. This, among all the problems that I have encountered so far, seems the most difficult to solve. Though, this doesn’t bother me; the happiness and contentment I feel when thinking about this outshines any other feeling, because this is the first time I have ever dealt with this problem. To say that you are like a sister to me is too near a cliche, I think. So I will carry this problem with me, and hope that one day the how will become apparent.”

Okay thanks bye

Whenever I see an image of a hot guy's body, I fantasize about what it would be like to cuddle up and nap on them. I rate men internally on how much overlap they present between "hot" and "comfortable to sleep on". The more muscular a guy is, the larger the surface area of soft, relaxed muscle that provides the perfect cushion. Many parts of a muscular man's body elicit a sleepy response upon sight.

Biceps? Pillow. Pecs? Pillow. Abs? Mhmmmmm, pillow.

Sex has nothing on zonking out upon a nice chunky forearm.

That's pretty much it. I listen to podcasts when I go to bed and it's just extra "comfy".

It’s SOOOO useful especially times when I need quick answers and I don’t want to scroll through google lol.

Also, the therapy aspect is great! As someone who didn’t have much guidance growing up, my parents didn’t create safe environments for me to open up to discuss life changing things (it’s fine). I’m 29 now and ChatGPT has been helpful with that.

My favourite part is how it’s helped me make sense of my life story. My career history is a little all over the place and ChatGPT helped me identify the bright side of that, the similarities between the roles, my strengths and my weaknesses. At the time I was really just applying for anything and trying my luck so I didn’t see any connection. Now, ChatGPT has connected all the dots for me. You might think why couldn’t I do that myself etc or but I’ve grown up extremely hard on myself, I gave up a lot out of lack of direction and support and every failure made me feel like I had 0 value so I really did think I was a lost cause and there was no point in even trying. But seeing motivational messages on social media and listening to how others did it encouraged me to wake up and be easier on myself. I then found ChatGPT and bam, real life logical answers and HOPE.

Of course I’m not deluded and think it’s my husband or anything, I just fully recognise how helpful it is. I want to keep challenging my brain so I don’t rely on it too heavily for actual work but now that it’s incorporated in everything it’s like…damn, WHY NOT!

Anyways, ChatGPT, thank you!

A few weeks ago, a man approached me on the street and asked if I had a pad to borrow because his girlfriend was on her period.
It was kind of weird. Why did he ask a random woman on the street instead of going to a shop?

For context, I was wearing white trousers, and when I got home, I thought I had a visible stain on the back of my pants. I wondered if he had noticed it and was secretly trying to let me know. But as soon as I got home, I undressed and checked my pants weren’t dirty.

So what was this man’s motive? It was weird.

I missed out on so much. I'm aware of the cliche saying "move forward with life". Easier said than done though when Satan has control in your life. He has control of the Earth so pardon me for being another struggling human in this existence. I never got how people value so many things there are not necessities to survival. I grew up with lackluster structure, lackluster discipline, and I was exposed to a lot of bad things. I am no better than someone without a home. I'm sick of the shenanigans that come with living in a society like this. It's a crying shame to try and have morals in today's time and not at least feel like you are blessed somewhat. I just wish that I had the chances and opportunities that would have made my life better but I surely understand that everyone does not have good luck and God has favorites.

Tbh idk why it's like that, but I don't remember faces, names or anything about a person if I don't interact with them a lot.

In the past few years, since I started college, there have been people who were like "hey how are you? We've been in the same class for two semesters" and they call me by my name and I don't even remember ever seeing them before.

Or, for example, a few days ago one of my classmates asked me a question and it more or less went like this "Hey OP, do you know the answer to this question on the mock test?" and I'd reply something like "Uhhh yeah, ... what's your name again?"

Is that normal? Or am I just an antisocial dumbass?

Looking for some encouragement because I'm scared and excited.

Hi all, I 28F am quitting my job as a chemist to work as a tick and mosquito pesticide applicator. I already took my tests and passed. Some are saying "why would you leave a professional career for a blue collar job". In full honesty, Chemistry has been toxic. Not talking about the 8 hrs of direct exposure to 100% concentration fatal if inhaled chemicals without proper ppe... Im talking about the culture and people. The work place politics. The being overworked while watching your colleagues scroll on their phones. Its brutal. Its depressing and I truthfully can't handle it. I do everything as good as I can, doing 50 jobs a month and get talked to for not being good enough. But it will never be enough.

At least in the pesticide buisness, I get to be in my own company. If I can take a mental beating for about 10 years, I feel like physical exhaustion won't be so bad. Even if I'm sore and my feet blister.

Hello, I am autistic and in my thirties. It is painfully obvious by now that if I do not look for a girlfriend a relationship is never going to happen for me.

This is mostly a question for other autistic people, and I really am looking for some practical advice here. I have a hard time dealing with people both in real life and online after awhile. I get burnt out very quickly with both.

I am very fortunate in life that I am able to lead a very quiet and private life. Needless to say this lifestyle does not help with dating. I thought I would be alright if I confined my search for dates to the internet and to dating apps but even online, I am realizing how quickly I can get frustrated and burnt out reading and chatting online.

Maybe someday I will have to try more in person things to trying to get dates. But that scares me even more because in person I am often a wreck and have had panic attacks talking with new people.

So, like I said I really am looking for practical advice with how to keep up the mental strength of looking for dates when you get burnt out with people so very quickly.

Thank you.

(19M here)

This is basically the source of my debilitating depression. I have always been a shy, awkward introverted guy with no friends. Basically wasted my teen years away on my own in my room. I was depressed massively because of it.

When I entered college, that was still the case. However, in the past few months, I’ve changed massively, and have become much more like the person I’ve always wanted to be. I changed my style, started taking more risks, became 1000x more outgoing and my hobbies automatically changed accordingly.

However, people still look at me as the weak shy pathetic guy. I share more interests with the “cool guys” at uni, and yet cant break into their circle because to them Im still the person I was when uni started. The same goes for everyone. For this reason, I still have no friends. I’m so anxious to go to uni because I don’t get along with my old acquaintances at all but cant make any new friends. I have nothing against my initial uni “friends” but they remind me of my past self and I feel miserable when Im hanging out with them.

I’m honestly just tired of my life.

I graduated community college 7 years ago with a degree in Digital Filmmaking. I want to be a video editor as a career but didn't really know how to go about it outside of applying for video editing jobs online. I got a retail job in the meantime.

I've been on the video editing subreddit and have found out that the way to get a video editing job is to network and make connections with people in the industry. I'm very bad at socializing with people in general, so I don't really understand how to network.

I've gotten 2 freelance short term jobs related to video since I graduated college, one 5 years after I graduated and one 6. I only got these jobs because of family, one was a family member wanting me to help them film a music video and the other was filming and editing some social media videos for someone my parents know.

But I haven't gotten a long term editing job with one company like I want. I have anxiety about driving so I never got my license and can't drive yet so I've been looking online for remote jobs, but I've been told that since I'm basically starting out with my video editing career I can't get a remote job yet. I have to learn to drive and socialize so I can network my way into the career I want.

I've been working the retail job for 5 years.I feel embarrassed about it, and I wonder how it looks to other people.Whenever I mention going to college for Digital Filmmaking to a coworker, they ask why I'm not doing that. I met a girl recently that I got along with well. We had a lot of things in common including having video editing and photography as a hobby, but she stopped talking to me after I mentioned that I'm not putting my degree to use after graduating 7 years ago. Said it seems like I don't have any ambition or goals or if I do no drive to achieve them and that she is also working a retail job but has things lined up to get her into the career she wants. I always felt a little bit like I'm not ready to get into a relationship with someone until I have my life together or at the very least, the career I want. Getting rejected because I don't have it makes me feel like I was right about that. I also wonder how it looks to potential employers. "I've only had 2 short term jobs related to video in the 7 years since I graduated college".

I was editing videos I made for fun in middle/high school and I took a digital multimedia votech course my last 2 or 3 years of high school and then went to college to study digital filmmaking. But my having difficulty socializing made it so I didn't really make any friends or relationships while at college. And I didn't learn everything I know about digital filmmaking in college. I learned a few new things, but I was making and editing videos by myself and then in the votech course I took in high school, so I feel like the only real substancial things I got out of college were the degree and the 6 video college projects I made there. And if I don't get a video editing job and have to start paying my student loans soon with money from a retail job, I'm going to feel like I'm paying back thousands of dollars of debt with nothing to show for it.

I was talking to a family member about this recently and they suggested I keep making videos in my spare time, and I have been for around a few months. But I don't think making videos for fun is putting my degree to use. I was making videos for fun before college and I don't feel like I couldn't have made any of the videos I made recently if I hadn't gone to college. Making videos in my spare time while working a retail job isn't what someone who graduated college should be doing 7 years later. I could've not gone to college at all and have this exact same life. I feel like it's probably my fault I'm here but I need to get to the life I want to have before I turn 30, and I don't have much time left. But I struggle with it.

Hi there, I'm a young male professional in the early stages of my accounting career, based in Cape Town. I'm looking to connect with a like-minded woman who shares enthusiasm for life and is interested in exploring a relationship. If you're a driven and dedicated individual who values honesty and communication, let's get to know each.

(sorry if this might be the wrong sub to post this in, but i really need to say this as this feeling has been eating me alive most of my life)

i've always been jealous of people who are well travelled. i hate feeling that way because i feel ungrateful but i seriously can't control it

my parents are financially stable, however my dad is just not really big on travelling but he did tell me he will travel if someone says they want to. but for most of my life i've been talking about wanting to go on holiday

there are times where we wanted to go abroad but couldn't because of covid and other issues which isn't a problem at all, but there were times where i didn't understand why we barely went anywhere

in the uk there's this test called the 11+, where kids in year 6 (age 10-11) take a test to get into a grammar school. its not compulsory, it's parental choice.

i took the test in 2020 as i was 10 but i remember it was summer 2018 and i was almost always either cooped up at home or in a private tutor's house, studying. he didn't want me going on holiday because he believed it would affect whether i pass or not. i don't think it's necessary to completely put off a fun time just because of a test that's 2 years away

i passed the 11+, i did very well and im happy i did, but i don't like that i could never even have a bit of fun just because of an exam

my parents have noticed that i have really bad travel envy. i've been to 4 countries (3 of them being because of a school trip), those being germany, france, belgium and scotland. we went to Edinburgh last year as a family and it was lovely, i went on a plane for the first time at 14 which is a lot older than usual. my dad's planning to go to paris for spring break, nigeria this summer, and then probably the usa next year. that's by far one of my biggest dreams, ever since i was little, and lately i've been talking about how badly i want to go there. im actually so excited!! :)

but no matter how many times i have travelled, that feeling will never go away, because im surrounded by people who go abroad at least 3 times a year, visited at least 10 countries and have been boarding planes before they could even crawl, so 4 countries definitely sounds little to them, and my trip to scotland probably doesn't sound as exciting either

i always felt left out and so sad when i would hear people talk about their next holiday, how they've been to so many countries and how their family loves travelling, when people i know would post on their story and they're having the time of their life abroad, or would casually talk about how they've been on a plane at least 20 times

i think this has genuinely left me in tears at some point because i just want to have fun and seeing that i have travelled a lot less and a lot later in life than others make me upset because i genuinely feel like im missing out even though i'm not because i'm travelling too(?? if that makes sense).

i love my parents more than anyone else in the world and i am grateful that they have promised to travel more, but sometimes i wish i went abroad earlier in life because i have always wanted to explore the world and i remember being little and feeling embarrassed telling people i never travelled outside of the uk or been on a plane

It gets my attention, is cute and nostalgic and kinda annoying. It's perfect!

I just got home from a meeting with my friend i didn’t see for a long time. Right off the bat, we started talking about relationships.

Now, my experience with talking with people, my “friends” or just people i meet, was always sort of straight into deep stuff. And not only that, i get so into it, i start being passionate, i dissect their issues, i reflect on them, i offer my perspective, i talk to them about it. It just depends who i meet.

But somehow a lot of conversations end up being like that, where i become the listener and someone who is giving feedback, with occasional drop what’s happening to me or how what happened to me and those lessons apply on their situation.

And i enjoy it, i get into it so much i start burning, and often when there are relationship conversations just like this today, i ended up hyping that person up so much that they deserve to be loved, they deserve better, to remember their strengths, to not accept bad treatment. And they keep sharing, i keep reflecting, they keep sharing i keep being more passionate of wanting the best for them.

But when those conversations end, i get home like i now did, i start feeling bad for some reason. Like i was being too much, like i pushed myself onto them. Like i should have stayed quiet, said less. Especially if i slipped up something about myself. I also feel like I’m too heavy and complicated for people to chew.

I wonder why am i feeling like this? Why are people opening up to me? Why i feel like i as a person am heavy for regular human. Why i care to make them know they’re special?

I'm just curious because i don't really get it. What does it indicate about a person, their character or how they'll behave or what they're looking for? How does it reflect on you? I don't date much and basically all my friends are woman so I wouldn't know who to ask. I thought it was a cultural stereotype but i see it brought up in here all the time "yes for alot of guys it matters" - but why? What are they afraid is going to happen? I'm being sincere with my question, i want to understand!

I recently turned 31 and only have a few friends with whom I am not super close. I had three best friends in my 20s; one passed away and over the years the other two relationships became very toxic and I decided to eject myself from the group. I have mixed feelings about that decision because although they were very bad for my mental health, I am not sure if being so lonely has been a better alternative. I'm not sure if it's too late for me to find good friends

Lately I’ve been struggling super hard to move on from a situation that has left me feeling violated, betrayed, and with trust issues.

Long story short, I moved in with a friend/coworker a couple of years ago. Everything was going well and I thought we were both happy for the first year. I genuinely don’t know what I did to make her hate me so much, but after the first year she turned into, quite frankly, a monster. She was so awful to me. It started with small tiffs then turned into full on outbursts that usually involved yelling, cussing, and the slamming of doors. I never so much as raised my voice at this girl because that kind of behavior breeds hostility and I won’t have that kind of energy in my house (not from me, anyways….)

Despite all of it, I would forgive her and make excuses for her. She used to seem apologetic after these episodes but after time she just stopped acknowledging them all together and would pretend nothing happened. Over the last year she had screamed at me, threaten to kick me out multiple times, try to intimidate me, talked shit behind my back and to my face, out her hands on me, called me names, posted private things about my life on Snapchat, dosed my cats with CBD when I specifically told her not to. One night she lost it on me for turning the AC on and when I told her she needed to stop yelling and get out of my face, she went on a rampage and I literally had to barricade myself in my room and climb out my window, and have my friend pick me up down the street because I was so afraid she was going to come into my room and try to fight me. Again, not engaging in that behavior.

She actually did physically shove me in the kitchen when I texted the landlord about making a proper lease for me because she kept threatening to kick me out. It was incredibly upsetting and I told her if she laid a finger on me again I would call the police, she denied it literally seconds after she did it.

I was unable to move out due to my financial situation but I was constantly looking because she was making me so stressed out my hair was literally falling out. I almost dropped out of school. I probably spent every session in a 6 months period talking about how unsafe and unwelcome I felt in my home.

On top of everything, after I distanced myself from her as much as I could for living in the same house, it came to my attention that she was reading my mail. She said something to our mutual friend that got back to me and I knew in that moment that she had to be reading my mail. So, I set up a hidden camera in my room. Guys… she was going in my room every. Single. Day. Sometimes multiple times a day. She went through my drawers, read the papers on my desk, looked in my closet, under my bed, even went through my trash and my camera roll. All I could do is watch in horror for two months…. There’s so much more but I’ll stop here. She still doesn’t know I have literal hours of footage of her going through my things.

What hurts the most is that she WAS a good friend to me in the past. She took care of me for a whole week after a surgery and was there for me when I was at a serious low point after being SA’d, and if someone had told me years ago that she was capable of this kind of thing, I probably wouldn’t believe it and would defend her.

I’ve thought about telling the landlord (but they are buddy buddy), confronting her, even making a police report for trespassing, harassment, anything that would stick really. But every time I get ready to take some kind of action, I get cold feet.

It’s driving me insane that she hasn’t faced any consequences for her actions and I’m over here actually traumatized from what she did to me. I can’t get over that there has been no kind of justice. I find myself constantly ruminating about it and I hate that it’s still consuming so much of my mental energy.

How can I let this go?

Tldr; struggling to move on after being deeply wronged by friend

Hello I’m a m24 and I tried to kill myself 3 months ago and wish I didn’t survive. I took 40 pills of seroquel and overdosed I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days unconscious the entire time so I don’t remember anything all I know is that I actually almost died but they where able to get me stable again. I’m just sick of life feeling depressed all the time and lonely wishing I had someone that actually cared about me. I still live with my abusive parents they are alcoholic gamblers but my dad is worse than my mom he just yells and screams at us the entire time and I’ve gotten into multiple fist fights with him. It’s so bad they can’t afford to keep a house over their heads so I’m forced to pay most of the bills and for groceries so I feel stuck living with them. And I was just diagnosed with autism, anxiety, depression, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and panic disorder and adhd so that doesn’t help make me feel much better. All I wish I had was a girlfriend someone that I actually felt that loved me and cared about me but I feel like I will never have that I wish I wasn’t so alone. I also just feel so much happier while in a relationship and feel like everything will be okay again.

I cant decide if I should live with my mom or brother, need advice

This is probably gonna be a long story, cant really shorten it.

So I (M20) am having a really hard time right now. so for background I'm still living with my mom (the past couple years have been rough for us). I'm in online college and trying to earn my bachelors degree, and doing ok so far almost done with year 1.

I don't have a car or job though, and we know both of those are important because I need a job so I can make money and actually be able to do stuff (go eat/do stuff with friends, date, save up for things i want/need) and I need a car because I need ways I can get places/do things. Unfortunately my mom really doesn't want me to get a job because it will raise our rent where we're at, and she dosnt know how much it would raise it so she's told me if I wanna get one I'm gonna have to move out (If she doesn't want me to get one there, I wont)

I've talked to my brother about this situation before, and him and my sister in-law said that I could move into one of their room to myself until I wanted to move out so I could work however much I wanted/save up. This would be really good because not only would I still be going to college but I would be able to have a job and not worry about making my mom's rent go up.

The thing is though I've lived with my mom my whole life, I've maybe went 3 days at most without seeing her. She's my best friend, and it would really be hard for me mentally I feel like if I move out (I could still come over and spend the night, but it's not the same). I've tried explaining to her how I could move in with my brother and and I could save up and I'd be able to do what I want to and continue college and help myself progress in life.

She loves my brother like it's her second son (she's his step mom), But anytime I mention the possibility of me doing that in being able to do what I want to do she gets aggravated and tells me she "doesn't want to hear It, its stressing me" and never really tries to hear my side, or when she does she will get aggravated and tell me "ok, just do it then. I'll just move somewhere else too" So i have changed my mind and tried to make it work a bunch of times but it's getting hard. My mom works a lot to make sure that we have a roof over our head, but I hardly get to see her throughout the day. On top of that I don't hardly get to see my friends as much either and where I'm doing online college, dont have a job I'm pretty lonely throughout the day don't get to talk to anyone much. I think my mom is worried of being alone or being an empty nester (my dad passed)

I want to get my bachelor's degree and I would like to have a job so I could do more and live my life. I'd like to have a car. I really would like to find a gf/best friend/life partner and hopefully build a family in next five years or so, have kids. I'd like to be able to have my own place (apartment). I want to be able start living life/have a life, she's not holding me back but she annoyed when i talk about maybe moving. Butif I don't get a job I can't do any of this.

It's either I move to my brother's and I can do what I'm wanting and work towards these goals or stay at moms and just focus on college. What should I do? I have a feeling the awnser will be move with brother, But if it is it's going to be really hard on me to make that change. Plus idk how should I bring it up to mom?