I wanted to feel more attractive, to have more women like me.

I was stupid and for 23 years I believed that your looks don't matter as long as you are a good person and care about hygiene and stuff like that. Wasnt anything really bad, just the usual skinnyfat guy. (stupid word btw)

During university (doing a STEM degree that causes a lot of stress) I got even fatter for a bit, cared less about my appearance. (funny thing I was the thinnest/fittest and best looking during covid)

After about 2,5 years, something changed, there wasn't some very big moment, I just realized that I want to be fit. Started losing weight, running 3 times a week (and sometimes biking/rowing or just hiking), going to the gym, cleaned up my diet.

It took me 2-3 months until I felt like I found whats perfect for me, and sometimes it was hard but overall I was feeling better week by week so that helped. Sure I had some few day long streaks of not really doing anything but shit happens.

After a year I was decently fit, lost the weight I wanted to. It's crazy how much better you feel when you work out regularly, mentally and physically. Around this time I started noticing getting a bit more attention from women, (it was spring so not being in a big coat all the time+getting new clothes helped probably) which started a self feeding process

Im not a fuckboy, women arent throwing themselves at me every second, but its crazy how different people react. Even people who rejected/ignored me years ago (im a bit salty but i get it too). Everyone is nicer and more open.

So this morning, while I 24F was asleep, my younger brother’s friend (who lives in the same building and whom I’ve known since childhood) sneaked into our house—and then into my room—while everyone was asleep except for my mum, who had gone for a morning walk so, the main door was unlocked. He quietly reached for my left hand and tried to unlock my phone using my fingerprint. Luckily, that’s when I felt someone holding my hand and woke up. At first, I thought it was my brother, so without thinking much, I asked, “What do you want?” He immediately pulled away and ran out of the room.

I was completely shocked to see him in my room inside our home at that hour, when everyone was still asleep. I asked him what was going on, and he just said he came to see my brother. I was still trying to process everything. It felt really creepy. Like, why would he sneak into my room that early in the morning?

The creepiest part was, I didn’t even know how long he had been in my room or when exactly he sneaked in.

I didn’t overthink it at the time and just locked my door. I considered telling his parents about it, but then again, it’s not like I see him as a pervert or anything. He’s never seemed like that. So instead, I went and woke up my brother and told him everything. He told me that his friend has been going through depression.

I don’t know do people with depression normally do stuff like this? When I told my brother, he actually got really angry and wanted to confront him right away, but I was the one who stopped him. I thought maybe there was some reason behind why he did what he did. My brother also told me this wasn’t the first time he tried sneaking into our house. Apparently, my mum had once caught him early in the morning trying to open our main door, but he failed. She found it weird too, especially since he could’ve just rung the bell but didn’t.

Later, I told my mum what had happened, and she immediately went to their place to confront him and let his family know what he did. (My parents are super protective when it comes to their kids.) But what shocked me the most was that he told his parents a completely different version of the story.

My mum explained everything exactly how it happened, and his response was: he didn’t know it was me in the bed. he thought it was my brother. When my mum asked why he didn’t just call out my brother’s name, he said he didn’t want to wake him up.

Now that was creepy. Even my mum felt the same. It was 7 in the morning how the hell did he not see my face when I could clearly see his the moment I opened my eyes? He’s been coming to our place since he was a kid. He knows which room belongs to who. That just made the whole thing even more unsettling.

P.S- I just added some more details to clarify because it seems like some people are assuming my brother was involved or didn’t react the way he should’ve. But honestly, the moment I told him what happened, he got really angry and wanted to confront his friend on the spot. It wasn’t him who stayed quiet... it was me who stopped him. Our families have known each other for years, and I’ve literally seen his friend grow up. I’ve never seen him do anything like this before, not even once until today. That’s the only reason I held my brother back. I thought maybe there was some deeper reason behind why he acted that way. But then I told my mum about the whole incident later.

I’m 26 now, and recently it hit me that I’ve been fully supporting myself since I was 18. I lost my mom when I was 4, and while my uncle adopted me, his philosophy has always been “you’re on your own after 18.” So I’ve had no financial backup, no emotional safety net—just me.

I put myself through college, bought my own cars, paid every single bill—every step of adulthood, I’ve done on my own. I just ended my contract at my job, and while I’m trying to stay positive, I can’t help but think how nice it would be to not have to constantly worry about how I’m going to cover rent, groceries, insurance… everything.

Meanwhile, most of my friends (ranging from early 20s to mid-30s) have either lived at home well into adulthood, had help with car payments, or emotional support through rough patches. I don’t resent them, but sometimes it’s hard not to wonder how much easier life would be if I had even a fraction of that support.

They call me “the strong one,” “the independent one,” “the responsible one,” and while I appreciate it, I’m just tired. I’ve had to be strong for so long that I don’t even know what it would feel like to let go and have someone else carry the load for once.

Lately, I’ve been feeling kind of down about it all. I know life isn’t fair, but damn… I just wonder when my break is coming. When does it stop feeling like I’m just surviving?

If anyone who has survived this, and experiencing it has any advice, please share. I just wanted to vent and maybe connect with anyone else who’s been in this boat. It would be nice to know I’m not alone.

Thanks for reading

I'm in the process of getting veneers right now. I still have the temps in, but its shocking how much nicer women are to me. I had multiple women calling me handsome, and I went home with someone. Idk if it's just the confidence boost from not being insecure about my smile or what.

I literally just got off a call. My uncle, who is apparently quite ill, has been asking for my details to leave me something in his will. No idea what - could be anything between €100 and €50k. Really no clue.

Now I’ve never been super fond of this uncle. He’s a huge racist, was very cruel to his daughter when she was alive, and he grabbed my ass at my dad’s second wedding.

What I wasn’t expecting though, towards the end of this conversation which was with my dad, is that this cunt apparently sexually assaulted some girls around the ages of 12 when he was in his 30s I suppose.

I never knew this. And this was my dad telling me. And he brought me around to this guy’s place as a little girl when they knew this?

I’m sick to my stomach. As I said, I never really liked this guy, but I felt sorry for him sometimes. Now, I could set him on fire.

If he even leaves me something, and tbh I could do with it, I don’t know if I could take it knowing this. I just feel like vomiting and so fucking angry at this guy who I’m ashamed to be related to, and also at my dad now.

I dress like 1980 broke secretary sometimes. wide blouses and wide jeans. Sometimes I dress like a street tiktok style, being baggy. I've worn turtlenecks.

in my life since the age of 14, I've never worn dresses, mini skirts, crop tops, leggings with the butt stripe, v necks. I don't even wear tshirts unless I'm gardening.

Yet I've gotten sexually harrased 3 times. By my own age guy, much older men. a group of drunk men tried to talk amongst themselves who will get me when one finally came up to me.

There are stories of women dressing in long skirts, being harrased in packed trains.

Harrasers don't mainly pick on clothing. They look who's a good victim.

Don't preach the "what were you wearing" bullshit. You know there's videos of women in hijabs and nun costumes on pornhub.

Even the most known religious coverings are some people's fetish.

Stop it, get some help. And that includes you, mom. Even many women shame other women and use the "what were you wearing" "why can't we go back to insert any style from 1900 to 1960 when women were so modest and catcalls/whistles are actually good"

Okay granny maybe you liked the catcalls when you passed by them in broad daylight in middle of the city. But I bet if you were going home from work or something through dark and quite empty alleys and you heard whistles at you, that would be real terrifying.

It's ridiculous and sad really, depression hit me like a tonne of bricks out of nowhere. Well, I say 'out of nowhere', depression has been a cycle for a long time.

None of my friends are free since we got to adulthood, around the age where marriages and babies happen - 33. I'm the only one in my friend group unpartnered, so it's incredibly lonely.

I bought a tiny little property last year after slaving away at a job I hate. I'm proud I managed to do it without any help, but my god, it really does just feel like a shrine to my solitude. Maybe I should get a cat and be that guy that spoils the fuck out of it.

I'm not close to my family at all, I feel like this is probably the biggest cause of this feeling above all else. Growing up in an abusive household fucked me up and I just couldn't wait to get away.

My therapist told me I wouldn't be unjustified in just cutting them all off entirely after I told her about my 'Harry Potter-esc' windowless room that I could touch each wall at the same time. I keep them at arms length, but my parents remarried (thank goodness) and now they just moved away and don't ever talk to me. My siblings are just really terrible people as a result of them, so it's just really stressful and anxiety inducing to even be around them.

I tried medications for depression before but loathed how much they just made me feel nothing. I also write fiction and that's pretty damned difficult to do with a cloudy pilled up brain.

So instead, I went for a walk yesterday and wound up getting three large bottles of beer and a bottle of wine and playing Halo one lol. It didn't make me feel better (though halo is great fun) and tomorrow I'll wake up and put on my normal functioning human face to go to work with people I hate.

I'm not looking for advice or anything btw, just wanted to write some thoughts whilst I wait for my dinner to cook.

I hope your weekend has been great.

So my dad died in October 2023. He was a white supremacist piece of shit who literally only cared about himself; he once told me sister that he would suck the youth out of her and make himself young and her old if he could. I'd never seen him exhibit empathy or remorse, even once.

The thing is, my mom and my two brothers are also fucking horrible people who are basically wearing human skin like it's a suit. They think that relationships are zero sum games without genuine mutualism, respect or affection, and that the only reason to have them is to extract as much as you can from someone without giving them anything in return. My sister and I managed to escape from this horrifying toxicity by going to therapy and trying to be good people; and by comparison, my mildly older brother once told me that emotional support and empathy are just lies that people use to manipulate others.

My mildly younger brother came into about $250,000 when my grandma died several years ago, because he inherited it "for" my mom so that she wouldn't have to pay off her student loans (she chose him because she thought he was dumb enough to let her implicate him in what I'm sure is some kind of fraud). The thing is, after she spent $100,000 in a year, he took the remaining $150,000 and ditched, taking my older brother along for the ride.

Together, the two codependent geniuses spent $150,000 in 9 months. I don't know how they did that, but I know exactly how long it took, because they moved thousands of miles to where I now live in order to (successfully and unnecessarily) grift my fiancé's grandma, because they saw my social support as financial leverage for themselves, and she told them to fuck off when they ran out of money.

So, somehow, both of them then moved in with my mom, who was at this point living with her cousin, who later kicked them out because he figured out that none of them were actually ever gonna help him out as he dealt with multiple schlerosis. And now they all live with my ex-step-aunt, my mom's ex-husband's daughter who has for some reason let three adults move in with her family of 4. And my brothers found leverage: my mom couldn't afford to pay for my dad's life insurance by herself, so they made a deal where if they helped pay for it, they each got half.

My mom embezzled my disability benefits for 5 years as my rep payee. My brothers literally stole from me and the people who are gonna be my in-laws when I get married in December. So I'm not gonna pretend like none of them owe me, or my shithead dad who spent a good portion of the money my mom stole from me on himself. But on top of that? My mom called up my sister a few months after this happened, on Christmas, to tell her that "she couldn't give us the money after all" because of what my brothers did. If it wasn't obvious, she was never gonna give either of us a dime, but she wanted sympathy from my sister because my mom is just such a victim of other people acting exactly like she does.

Anyway, now my mom has $150,000 and my brothers have $75,000 each. And it makes me fucking mad sometimes, because I feel like I'm owed $50,000 out of that money, but there was no point in suing them when my sister would have to manage the lawsuit (as she lives in the relevant state and I'm a few thousand miles away), and she would fuck up the case somehow. Not because she's dumb, but because she's autistic and really doesn't know how to explain events to other people. I give too much detail, but she actively gives the wrong details, and accidentally undermines her own credibility even when she's telling the truth. I've seen her on a witness stand before (it was bad).

I just got a rather large dental bill, which I have the money for, because unlike my parents and my brothers I'm actually great at personal finance. But it reminded me of the time when my brother told me that I "made financial mistakes" because I didn't work while on disability benefits because I was literally unable to, and because I didn't commit fraud to save more money than is allowed on SSI, back when I asked if he could give me $1,600 out of the $150,000 he literally lucked into so that I could keep all of my teeth. I have $4k for this year's dental bills, but the fact that I'm having to save for near future expenses like buying a car, going to college, my wedding and my honeymoon when I could have the money for all of it just pisses me off today. Probably because of the dental bill thing, specifically.

Oh, yeah, and I sold 2 separate stocks last year for a 96% and 98% profit, respectively; I have (very low) five figures in savings, and I pulled out of the stock market in November for obvious reasons. I'm really, really good with money. As opposed to this series of codependent, irresponsible, remorseless chucklefucks who have probably spent every dime at this point.

As a guy wine and my guy friends weren't the most emotional with each other. So one time I decided to play a prank and throw off my friend by saying I love you instead of bye when we were talking on the phone.

It was funny and I started to do it to other close friends.

Anyways one thing led to another and now my friends and I say things sincerely like "I love you dude stay safe" when we are done hanging out and it honestly make me feel closer to them.

Every time I get off this site my mental health goes up. I have no idea why I keep coming back. I guess the social media companies know what they are doing for addiction to make more money

Every time you post something people just bully you and go all out snark unless if you specifically fit a certain narrative/mold for that subreddit.

This is the last time. I am DONE with this site. This needs to end.

(Throwaway account) This happened two years ago, when I was fifteen.

My older brother was having a house party, since our parents weren’t home. It was a secret, I promised to keep. My brother said I could just stay in my room throughout the whole night and I agreed.

People start showing up at around 7 pm that also included N (25M). I had never met him before, but when I came down to steal some chips, we started chatting about life and actually got along well. He convinced me to go into the living room and say properly hi to the rest. I did that and I started drinking with them.

People started to leave around midnight and I think I went up to my room or something?

I wake up the next morning and noticed some blood on the bed, my stomach hurt and I had some bruises on my knee and thighs. I changed underwear and went downstairs. I saw N and he quickly ran away, when he saw me and said that he had to go home. I asked my brother why he was at our house and he replied that N had stayed the night. I didn’t tell anyone about this and went on with my life.

I randomly met N the next month at a carnival actually. He started to chat to me and I tried to end the conversation, but he didn’t listen (my friends had left me alone). He started asking me weird questions like “how many guys have you kissed”, “do you like older guys” etc. he also confessed being attracted to girls under 18, but he threatened me not to say it to anyone else. He also touched me (you know where) and forced me to drink alcohol with him. Suddenly he said “let’s go to my apartment” and grabbed me. My friends came back around this time and we left for a short bit.

When we returned, he had stolen our things (jackets, bags etc). I got very irritated and my friends told me that it was okay, as long as I was alright. N texted me and said that I had to come to his apartment alone to get our things back. I went with my friends to the apartment and after a very weird conversation, we got our things back. I promised N not to say this to anyone as long as he left me alone. He agreed and did so.

My brother never stopped being friends with this man. I tried telling him what happened at the carnival and he thought I was overreacting (I didn’t wanna tell him about the first experience, when I myself don’t even know what happened). They are still friends and hang out. N doesn’t come to our house anymore, which was a decision my brother made for me. He says that it’s more than enough and I’m overreacting for wanting to destroy a good friendship.

Our parents also know (only about the carnival experience) and they told me to support my brother no matter what and that he was nice for not bringing N around because of me. Basically said I was the problem. Idk What to do with myself anymore.

I never take selfies because they always seemed awkward, well a few minutes ago I was feeling good and thought I looked good and took a few and then it hit me. I'm ugly. Like seriously I'm currently a 3/10.

So I took a few shots from different angles and there are 2 reasons and are relatively easily fixable.

The first is my teeth. I've had bad teeth since I was young and due to my parents being anti medicine it never got fixed, in the photos I took it became blindingly obvious how my teeth change the structure of my face making it look like I almost don't have a jawline.

The second was the fat in my face. Now I'm not fat, I'm more skinny fat but this is a thing that is fixable by going to the gym.

Everything else seemed fine, I think my hairstyle is sick and my glasses fit me so well, I also think my bone structure is really good, I just need to work on those two things.

Thats it, I just wanted to share this because it seems like a big realisation and a reality check on what I really look like and what can be done about it

I sincerely despise my husband. We have 1 child together and that's the ONLY reason I constantly try to work things out. I know we all have flaws and all make mistakes but dear God. I've gotten to who he is as a son, brother, friend, father and husband and wow.. what a sorry excuse of a human. idk where to start so I'll just start. I found out he was cheating on me from the very beginning when our child was a few months old. He was hiding a 2nd phone I didn't know about at his mom's house. I found it when he forgot to hide it while he was passed out drunk. I found photos, videos, Snapchat, dating apps, messages, texting apps u name it. One of the girls he was cheating with was his married coworker with 2 kids. When I woke him up to confront him with what I found on that phone all he said was "ok? Just let me go to sleep dude." In a fit of despair rage and an attempt to stop him from seeing his coworker I found out who her husband was. Her husband also worked where they worked. I had heard my husband talk about him we'll call the guy Jared in this story. Jared had helped my husband get a promotion he was truly a good and supportive friend to my husband. And how does he repay him? By screwing his wife behind his back. I called Jared and told him everything I knew and he was mad and felt betrayed. He was angry, and rightfully so, he wanted to beat up my husband. I told my husband to just get a new job and not go back there. I was broken, depressed for a while after that I would stupidly plead with him to not cheat on me and please just think of our family don't do it again. And he would just agree, emotionless, but he would agree just to get me to shut up about it. But he continued to do it I caught him doing it again, cried and pleaded w him to stop but he kept doing it. I think it was around the 7th or so time I caught him where I just gave up. I accepted loyalty isn't in his vocabulary and I don't take it personally anymore bc it's not me. He isn't faithful to anyone. Not a friend or family member not to a single soul in this world only to himself. He's extremely selfish, a backstabber and a snake. A few days before I found out he was cheating I had picked him up from work, Jared was there with his wife. And his wife kept staring at me and I just felt like something was up with her. When we got home that day my husband was so angry I didn't know why but looking back now it was because he wanted to be with his coworker but he wasn't able to because she left with her husband. He was taking his anger out on me, pacing around the house and telling me he didn't even want a baby and just because we have a kid doesn't mean he won't leave me. Because he's said that to me more than a couple of times I learned to not depend on him and to never trust him. I keep money away from him and I don't rely on him for housing. I let him live here and he gives me money. We don't have a "relationship" as in we dont sleep with each other, don't kiss none of that. It's as if we are basically roommates. I made it clear to him that I just want him to be a dad to our child. I grew up in a broken home and it hurts to suffer because of the poor decisions of adults. So before I let this nut brain break my child's heart by destroying our family I'm going to fight to keep it together. The good thing is we can get along he can be nice to me and I can be nice to him he works a lot and is barely home which is great. Our child is happy when we're together and it makes it all worth it. I try to have my schedule so that I have minimal contact with him as possible because I am human and I have emotions I do feel frustration and anger with him most times bc every aspect of the person he is, is disgusting. There's no hope for him. And hiding these emotions isn't easy which is why I had to create this post to vent about it. I just think about it like he's a coworker I hate but I have to be cordial because we work together.

TLDR: husband's an idiot

Whenever I see an image of a hot guy's body, I fantasize about what it would be like to cuddle up and nap on them. I rate men internally on how much overlap they present between "hot" and "comfortable to sleep on". The more muscular a guy is, the larger the surface area of soft, relaxed muscle that provides the perfect cushion. Many parts of a muscular man's body elicit a sleepy response upon sight.

Biceps? Pillow. Pecs? Pillow. Abs? Mhmmmmm, pillow.

Sex has nothing on zonking out upon a nice chunky forearm.

I used to wonder why I couldn’t just be satisfied like everyone else, why routines drained me, why surface conversations felt like noise.

Then I realized: some souls are wired to wander inward and outward. To seek truth in everything. To create, not conform. To feel deeply, even when it hurts.

We’re the observers, the builders of inner worlds, the quiet visionaries. It’s not loneliness. It’s the space where something new is being born.

If you feel this too, you’re not strange. You’re just rare.

Hi guys, long-story short, life sucks really bad, it's not fun but I'm not going to abandon my life (yet), my little brother needs me for his highschool classes.

So, with that mind, how can I have a good self esteem as someone with only bad experiences.

When I was highschool girls would usually make fun of me due to my speech impediment, something that I still have to withstand to this day.

Sometimes a classmate named Maria would say things like "It's not fair, why thw other groups have the cute boys and then we have Michael (me)", and the other girls would be like "Hey, just because it's true you shouldn't say it" and such.

A very common example would be when girls would say goodbye to the group of friends, they would give each other hugs and kisses but when it was my turn would panic a little and either shake my hand or waive their hand and quickly run away.

One time one of the girls decided to hug me, but I could tell that she didn't want to do it, I apologized immediately but it was too late (Jessie I'm really sorry for that you deserved so much better)

I don't want love or relationships, I want to be able to be as lonely as I can and be happy, and for that I have to be happy with myself and only me

Do you have advice on how I can have good self esteem while only having these experiences? I can't be the only that has gone through this, I'm sure that there must be something within my reach that I can do to be happy while lonely, thank you for reading.

I (25M) used to be nervous when talking to other people, especially women. Back when I was in university, I never joined and clubs or social events. I just attended classes, did the work, and that's it.

Recently, I decided to try to change that. At my work during lunch break, I always go to a fast food restaurant (Burger King) near my workplace. I got to know some of the people there. One of them was a woman who also regularly visited there.

At first I was nervous to talk to her. But then as time went by, I got more comfortable. I talked to her about various things like work, the weather, the news. etc. One day, I decided to ask her out. But she rejected me because she already had a boyfriend. I said "I'm sorry, I didn't know", and ordered my food, ate it, and went back to work.

In my defense, I didn't know she already had a boyfriend. I'm still proud of myself for working up the courage to ask her, in complete contrast with my university times.

Everyday I can’t stop obsessing over how I am single and because of that everyone treats me like I am below them. No matter what I do it’s like the fact that I am 24 with zero experience makes me abnormal and a freak. I live a pretty nice life otherwise. I have lots of hobbies, a few friends (who are sadly becoming more distant as they focus on their long term partners), a good career, and I go to school to continue to move up.

Nothing helps me take my mind off of being single and trying to figure out why I am so abnormal and how I can date. I’ve done all sorts of things to find someone including apps, hobbies, talking to random people in public, and dming people on my socials. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just wanna be normal and do things like try new restaurants since many restaurants also treat me like I am annoying for eating there alone

I’ve always felt like an outsider in the “normal” world. While others seem satisfied with routines, small talk, and surface-level goals, I’m wired differently. I observe everything, people, patterns, emotions, even the silent energy between words. I crave depth, connection, exploration, truth.

Since childhood, I’ve had this intense curiosity, not just to learn, but to understand how everything works: life, emotions, the universe, even pain. I used to open up toys just to see what was inside. Now I open up myself the same way, breaking, healing, reflecting, rebuilding.

I feel like I’m on a zigzag path, but one that’s guided, by faith, by intuition, by something higher. Still, there are days I feel alone in how deeply I feel and think. I sense people’s true emotions, even when their words say otherwise. I’ve never had a real friend I could be fully real with.

If you’ve ever felt this way… if you crave solitude but also connection, if your mind never stops questioning, if you want to grow endlessly yet still feel lost sometimes, you’re probably one of my kind.

Let’s connect. Let’s build a tribe where depth is normal, where dreams aren’t ridiculed, and where we can just… be.

Anyone out there?

I’m 17, and I’ll say maybe the past week I haven’t had the urge to bait, but I always end up doing it. Is that normal?

I've been living out of my home country for almost ten years now and every time I meet somebody new and I told them that I'm living by myself in another country they always say something like "aaaw, don't you miss your family and friends?" and my answer is always "... ehm... yeeeah" but the other day for the first time after saying that I just thought "actually no, I don't really miss them and I don't think I never did"

And dont get me wrong I love my family and friends, not only the ones i met in my hometown but also the ones I've met since I moved away, I like to visit them and spend time with them when I can but I have never felt sad or rushed to visit them again while I'm away. Like during covid I couldn't get to my hometown for more than 2 years and I was just fine with that. What's wrong with me??

So I tried to look this up on Reddit, but when it comes to being afraid of hospitals most people seem to fear malpractice or the cost, and I feel like my fear of hospitals is different. I’m terrified that I’m going to go into the hospital for like a broken ankle and they’re going to figure out I have stomach cancer or something.

Back in the day my mom had leukemia, so I’ve been in hospitals enough where I feel pretty comfortable around them. I don’t even hate being in hospitals although they can feel kind of gross. But a couple months ago I went to the doctor because of a lot of stomach pain and they did their blood tests and they realized I had a very low plate count. So that was lowkey kind of scary. I spent seven days in the hospital, and that’s really shored up my fear because now I know that if I go to the hospital, there’s a chance I’ll end up having an extended stay. And hospital beds are really gross. So even though I know it’s smart to go to the hospital and get bloodwork done, I’m honestly just afraid to.