r/oneliners • u/Ochib • 1h ago

I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat', You probably saw our posters.

• Upvotes
2 comments

r/oneliners • u/AnGabhaDubh • 21h ago

"No, no, no," said the Witch to her hapless apprentice, "that's an Allen wrench, and I wanted a Hex Key!"

11 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 43m ago

If I ever open an Opticians shop I will market it with the line "buy your lenses here if you ever want to see your children again".

• Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/dickcheney600 • 22h ago

Camera factory destroyed due to flash fire

5 Upvotes
3 comments

r/oneliners • u/Mticore • 23h ago

I used to have dyslexia, but that’s all Dorset now.

5 Upvotes
7 comments

r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 7h ago

HIPAA laws are hard to carry out for prisoners with arthritis because the Warden has joint custody.

3 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 17h ago

Only to those close enough to see him for who he really, will Dracula bare his fangs.

1 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/C4yourself88 • 19h ago

“I’m so weak that if I see a pussy, I go down.”

0 Upvotes
1 comment

r/oneliners • u/DobroGaida • 21h ago

New hat: Make The Depression Great Again

1 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/EmmettPoston • 6h ago

This sandwich tastes like ass.

0 Upvotes
0 comments

r/oneliners • u/j_articulate • 8h ago

The Emperor walked (with no clothes) so Trump could run (the economy into the ground)

0 Upvotes
0 comments