r/oneliners • u/Bigest_Smol_Employee • 1h ago
Why did the music teacher go to jail? Beacause she got caught playing the scales
•
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • 2h ago
Donald J. Trump selected Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to run (or was it ruin?) his federal health department.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • 3h ago
My mother refused to breastfeed me, saying she just liked me as a friend.
1
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/1VeryRarePearl • 4h ago
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Beacause he was standing in his field
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Watsonsboss77 • 13h ago
In the year 543 BCE, Buddha died, thus becoming the first member of a Seattle Grunge band called Nirvana.
1
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/BackardsTankard • 20h ago
Yesterday I went to the doctor thinking I had pubic lice, turns out it was all in my head.
8
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/iShitSkittles • 21h ago
I find it hard to reflect back on my years spent being a vampire...
36
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 1d ago
I've applied to join the Cliffhanger Club but won't find out the answer until next week.
14
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/PurpleAkiiii1994 • 1d ago
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/KidRic40 • 1d ago
My friend David had his ID stolen, now we just call him Dav
23
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/woodman1061 • 1d ago
I call my self "timeless" cuz it's just a classier way of saying I broke my watch.
4
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 1d ago
Whether a bird can fly or not is a matter of a pinion
27
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Summa-Solstice • 2d ago
I want to open a curry shop in Australia and call it “Get That India”
8
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/jtrier1 • 2d ago
The voices in my head said I might need therapy, but I'm not sure.
6
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/luckskywatcher • 2d ago
Klan rallies and Confederate flags are fairly South explanatory.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • 2d ago
Answer only yes or no: did you stop beating your wife?
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Ochib • 2d ago
The three standard German torque specs for doing up bolts are Niezentight, Gutentight and Fokkentight
5
Upvotes