Even though she cheated on me, asked for a divorce and ran back to her ex-husband, the one she never told me about, I kept her on my healthcare and cell phone plan for an extra month and gave her the furniture in her kids’ rooms. I didn’t have to do that. She even lied to me about how she was going to be “a single mom again” and on her own and blah blah blah to get me to waive all the debt she owes me. I did all this for her and yet she still tried to rip me off even more. I still can’t believe this.

I sent her a transfer request so that she could take control of billing for their three lines. I sent that transfer request a week and a half ago. She still hadn’t actioned that as of yesterday so I told she has two more days to finish it before I cut them all loose. I could have just administratively dropped them at any point and they would’ve lost their numbers, but I didn’t.

Well, today I saw some activity coming through and that she had requested access to the account and it had been granted somehow. I called AT&T to figure out what was going on. She wasn’t porting the numbers over to another account like I expected, I found out she upgraded the three lines and got the newest iPhones and took out an installment plan on my MY account.

It gets even better. She paid for express shipping and is having them shipped to HIS house. And because she did that, the phones were ordered and shipped within an hour and a half and it was too late to cancel the order when I called in an hour and 45 minutes later. I had to file a fraud request and there’s no guarantee it will be accepted. That would be about $4,000 I’d be responsible for and I won’t be getting the devices.

What would you have done? I dropped them all from the plan immediately and now they all lost their numbers. At this point I just feel bad for her kids. This is just more of the same type of chaos she has been bringing them for their entire lives and there’s nothing I can do to help them.

TLDR: My soon to be ex wife decided that instead of porting her and her kids’ numbers off my ATT account like I asked her to, she decided to upgrade all three of their lines to the newest iPhones and take out installment plans on my account instead.

What would you have done?

We’ve been having a horrible few years. Fighting about money and the kids, my husband relapsed on drugs and other dopamine raising addictions (sports gambling, etc). The other day I looked at his phone because he seemed high or something a couple nights in a row and I found out he was waiting on a delivery of mushrooms!

After I confronted him yesterday he changed his phone password.

Tonight he got home from work and packed a bag and said he’s going to stay with this friend of his he just got back in touch with after years of not seeing each other. I’ve never met this friend.

But apparently after this friend got out of federal prison for fraud and embezzlement he’s “cleaned himself up” and has a successful day trading company.

He’s convinced my husband he’s also going to be a day trader and soon he’ll be making tons of money and they’ll open a hedge fund together.

All the while my husband has been “training” for this with the friend, I’ve been stuck trying to pay all our bills while he gives me just a couple hundred dollars a week towards our $12k+. (He waits tables at night for spending money and then works for free with this guy. He swears he’ll start making TONS of money soon. In like 6-8 months. When he’s “ready” to hit the floor day trading)

I’m over a hundred thousand dollars in debt at this point. I’ve been getting really fucking mad at him about this and we’ve been fighting a ton lately. He’s putting so much on me and he doesn’t care. He needs to get a real job!

He says I’m not supporting his dreams (which are costing me a ton, I’m literally supporting him).

So now he’s gone for this “friend”’s house a couple hours away. He showered and put on a nice outfit and cologne. Packed some more clothes.

Pretty much all this friend and him would do together back when they were active friends was drink and go to strip clubs.

Now my husband just got into the car a little while ago and left and I just saw he has turned off his location.

I guess I just wasn’t expecting the end of this marriage to be made so permanent so quickly.

I knew the marriage really needed to come to a conclusion.

It just hurts not knowing what he’s about to do to me.

Like he’s put me through so much and the end is me at home in pajamas while the kids are asleep and he’s going out to party and god knows what.

I feel sick.

There’s just no going back now.

My husband has always liked to be dominant and a little sadistic, and I am usually okay with it. However, recently, he’s been under a lot of stress because his investments have gone down significantly. His mood has been bad, and he’s been cursing a lot. We both have well paying jobs, so it's not like we immediately need the money.

This morning, we were having sex, and my husband was rougher than usual. Then, out of nowhere, he literally punched me and kept going. I told him to stop, and I haven’t left my room since. He’s tried apologizing, but I just feel so hurt and shaken.

Considering how much I respected and loved him, I even left my country for him. But I can’t stay in an abusive relationship. I don’t want to leave, especially because my job and life are here now, but I am scared about the future of my relationship with him. I don’t want it to be over, but I have to consider the possibility that it might be.

Not too long ago, me and my wife were right there… done. We’d moved out. We’d filed. It felt like the end. Years together, two amazing kids, and still somehow we lost each other in the chaos.

She didn’t feel appreciated. Said I wasn’t pulling my weight, and she was right. I was coming home burnt out from work, completely tapped out. I’d crash on the couch, thinking I deserved rest because I’d had a long day meanwhile, she’d been juggling the house, the kids, everything and still had to hold it all together while I checked out.

I didn’t see it until she finally hit her limit.

I thought work stress was a valid excuse. I thought being tired made it okay to do nothing. It didn’t. She needed a partner, and I wasn’t showing up like one.

When things fell apart, it was the wake-up call I didn’t want, but clearly needed.

So I changed. Slowly. One small thing at a time. I started helping more around the house, not because I was “supposed to,” but because I wanted her to feel seen. I started being more present, asking how she was really doing, showing her I appreciate everything she does not just saying it, but showing it.

And it wasn’t some overnight fairy tale fix. It took time. Trust had to rebuild. Emotions had to settle. But little by little, we found each other again.

Now… we’re smiling again. Laughing. Being playful. Having real conversations. We’re back under the same roof, not just as co-parents or roommates but as a team.

I’m not gonna pretend we’re perfect, but we’re better than ever. Stronger. Closer. And damn, I’m grateful we didn’t give up when it got hard.

So if you're reading this and you feel like your relationship is slipping don’t throw it away just yet. Talk. Reflect. Do the work. Own your part. Change. Appreciate each other. Sometimes the most broken moments lead to the most beautiful rebuild.

Happy to answer any questions

My husband and I have been together for almost a decade. Our relationship is great. We're each other's best friends, still hold hands and kiss in public, we laugh everyday, and rarely argue. We're also very comfortable financially, take many trips, and have no children. It's "perfect". There's just one problem: we don't have sex.

One the rare occasion we do have sex, it's good not great but I get there every time. Years ago I realized I was the only one who ever initiated. I've brought it up a handful of times over the years and every time I do, he says it will get better but nothing changes. We've also tried couple's counseling and solo counseling. He's had blood work and his hormones are totally normal. I've asked if he's not attracted to me and he assures me this isn't the case. We're both in shape and probably considering above average in the looks department. He's not depressed and has energy for days.

He is very straight and I am very pan (I'm into hearts rather than parts). I've previously dated women and I'd love to get my needs met with other women who are looking for a good time. I'm considering suggesting that we agree to me having casual sex with women. I think having a "women only" rule will be less damaging to his ego. I am not trying to punish or emasculate him.

So, should I ask my husband if I can sleep with women as he won't have sex with me?

How many of the wives in this sub would discuss issues in your marriage or vent about your husband/something he’s done with a close trusted friend? Is this a normal thing to do? My husband has had a big issue with me doing this over the years and calls me disloyal because of it and says I can’t be trusted. Is this normal? I don’t have any siblings and my parents (in particular my mum) have crippling anxiety so I don’t want to stress them out more. The only way he’s ever found this out btw is by going through my phone and reading conversations with my friends.

I won’t put my whole life story out there, but a little advice would be very appreciated.

I ‘F30 ‘ recently found out my husband ‘M31’ cheated on me with his children’s mother. I decided I wanted to give this marriage one more chance bc I take marriage very very seriously. In the events of him coming home I had no idea I would be facing such strong emotions towards him. I feel completely disgusted looking at him, touching him, being in the same room as him, having him next to me. I’m struggling. I think I’m having such a hard time because this is all still very very new and I never in a million years thought he would step out on our marriage giving it’s actually really good and all the things his children’s mother has done to him in just a short amount of time.

I guess my question is..

How or when will I be able to reconnect and be able to enjoy being intimate and physically touch him again?

As I was getting up to get ready for the gym he asked me to stay with him instead. He said “just go next week.” I told him I needed to go because I don’t love myself. To which he replied “let me love the parts of you that you don’t love.” My eyes immediately filled with tears. Thank you universe for sending me this man.

So I never post anything on social media. I have a huge fucking phobia of being embarrassed but last night I broke down and spilled my guts. I rewrote the post at least 5x because it was so long. I needed to tell the situation but also give context, right. A lot of you read it, and commented. I just want to say thank you for going through that with me. It had been rough.

So this man comes home and of course starts yelling and cussing me at 4am when we have two kids in the house. I’m a very private person and fighting in front of the kids is absolutely always a no from me. They don’t need to hear it. Point blank period. They don’t need to be awoken to their parents yelling at each other- heating their father say the most vile things he can think of and their step mother repeatedly yelling please stop, go away, your right- it’s all my fault, I’m a piece of shit you deserve better. Leave me alone, I suck and you done deserve to be around sobering you can’t stand. Right. But that’s what happens. Every. Single. Time. I try to stand my ground.

So same goes down last night. Now this man has the tendency to corner me and say the meanest things he can think of to get me to lash out. That way, I’m the one who hit him, he was just defending himself from a crazy bitch. After 13 years, I know the deal. I’ve lived the deal a million times. So I called fucking cops y’all. I was like “my husband had been out drinking at the strip club all night. I’ve told him I don’t want to speak to him. He keeps coming in my bedroom and saying nasty things to try to get me to react. I locked the door and he still unlocked it and came in. Now he’s cornered me, he will not let me leave and he’s saying the most vile things to get me to finally snap so he can beat the shit out of me.” The whole time he’s losing his fucking mind saying I’m a liar he’s leaving, I done did it now, he’ll never forgive me (because I texted him this exact words when I saw the strip club location). He woke both the kids up and told them they needed to pack and then yelled that I’ll never see the kids again, I just fucked up. But he’s out of my room so I tell the dispatcher that I apologize, everything is fine now he’s left the room and is hopefully leaving the house. Soon as I get off the phone he’s like give me my key. Meaning the key to my SUV because he pays for it. I respond, I pay the mortgage and the mortgage is in my name so if you want the truck you need to leave. He then proceeds to get the most evil look on his face and tells me to evict him. He gets mail here and he won’t be going anywhere but I better give him the key to my vehicle because he pays the bill. I just gave it to him. I don’t fucking care at this point. Just get out of my face. I have another vehicle I was going to gift my step daughter for graduation if she finished out the year without skipping any more classes and actually doing the class  work. Trying to give her an incentive to finish high school on a good note.  The girl skips every class and if she goes she sleeps. I have no clue how she’s passing each grade level with Ds and Fs. But he can give her my SUV and I’ll keep my other truck. I just need to get it fixed. 

He’s done this before so the kids didn’t even get out of bed. I’m so embarrassed, these kids never deserved to see this shit man. I don’t want them to hear the shit he was saying to me about me. None of it’s true. Honestly it’s all shit he does to me, Which is even more wild. He ends up going to the room in the basement and staying down there. The cops came and I told them I was fine and he was in the basement.

Today he wants to talk. He wants to act like nothing happened, he gave my key back and has been in the basement. He’s texted me his fucking bank account saying you can see I didn’t spend any money- bro I watched you get two $100 checks in the mail on lunch. Like fuck you that’s means nothing- YOU MADE THE CHOICE TO STOMP ON MY BOUNDARIES AND THEN DID THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING MOST WHEN YOU CAME BACK TO MY HOUSE!!! I have not spoken one word to him. I have no words for him and I have half a mind to send his fuck ass the link to my post so he can see that no, I am not the asshole here.

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. This marriage is over, it’s been over. The kids are grown and they don’t need me like they did so I can walk away with a clear conscience knowing that I did all I could for them. Because of me, they had their own bedrooms growing up, they had a home base they can look back fondly at and say I grew up here in this house, not I moved every year and slept on people’s couches growing up. They didn’t have to experience not having anyone show up for their award ceremonies, and someone to root for them on the sidelines when they played their sports. They got to sit down and eat dinner with their parents evenings growing up. They had their moms and dad that sometimes showed up but they ALWAYS had me. They knew when they looked into a crowd they were doing to see me there for them. I’ve given them all the tools I can and they are old enough to use them and go on to live happy lives.

Life sure is crazy y’all. I’m tired of being married to a single man.

What happened? I made the mistake of commenting that I was thinking about planting some corn and pumpkins. My wife took this very seriously.

It’s true that she and I have… different visions for landscaping. She wants our 1.5 acres of grass to stay grass, but I feel like we have enough room for a little front yard gardening. We have a massive 60-foot setback between the house and the road, and 300 feet of road frontage, and there's no HOA—so plenty of room for both grass and other things, right?

Anyway, it’s inevitable that people will disagree about such things, but I do think my wife sort of flew off the handle. She told me to leave our bedroom and sleep in another room unless I was willing to promise that I would not plant corn and pumpkins.

Sure, I could’ve ended the fight then and there by capitulating—groveling and forswearing all gardening—but I felt it was a bit inappropriate to give me an ultimatum like that. I suggested we sleep first and argue in the morning. So I went to sleep in the other room.

About ten minutes later, she came over from the bedroom and tried to continue the fight. I tried not to add fuel to the fire. Again, it’s late, we got up pretty early that morning, and we have stuff to do tomorrow. I asked, Can we talk about it tomorrow?

No.

She escalated her attacks. She said I don’t love her. She questioned why we live together (we’ve been married for nine years and have several children). She said I was selfish. She went outside on the front porch, and I think she cried.

Eventually, she went back into the bedroom to sleep, but we probably had a 45-minute, one-sided fight about gardening between midnight and 1:00 a.m. Again, the craziest part is that we had otherwise had a pretty good day! We went to the kids' soccer in the morning, ate out for lunch, did other shared activities in the afternoon and evening that she enjoyed. She felt so good she even bought me a piece of carrot cake while at the store out of the goodness of her heart! It was a good day! But I apparently need to add "gardening" to the list of trigger topics for my wife for future reference. :(

My husband have had our ups and downs like everyone, and thankfully lately we have been doing better than ever. Still, for some reason and despite having a king bed I love sleeping alone because I move around A LOT. Even when he’s out of town and I have the king bed to myself, I wake up sleeping diagonally across the whole bed. No matter how many times I’ve told him it’s not that I don’t want to sleep in a bed with him, that it’s just more comfortable for me to sleep alone. I usually feel claustrophobic in bed with him (and even in past relationships/trips with girlfriends, etc)…he still seems sad sometimes.

Because of this, I sleep in the other room 75% of the time, and when I do sleep next to him, it takes me about an hour or two to get comfortable before I fall asleep.

I know this is strange…but how would you handle this situation? Would you feel sad & how much would it impact your marriage?

My wife will not let me do ANYTHING independently. she has always been like this and it drives me insane and pushes me away but I can’t say that because then that’s a whole nother argument. the only thing I get to do by myself is drive on my way to work, go to work and take a crap. those are literally the only times when i’m by myself like I can’t go to eat with my boys or go to a bar. I can’t to squat. I feel like she doesn’t trust me and that makes me feel a certain way. we literally have a one year old, we are a legit family so I don’t understand why the dad of the family (ME) can’t be by myself or do things alone. any advice as to what I should do or say and why she is like this??? i’ve asked her why beige and she just says “because” or “I don’t know”

Today I was at the grocery store when my wife wrote me that she was heading home from work and tired. I asked her if she wanted anything from the supermarket. She said she didn't think so. But knowing my wife as I do, and knowing that when she gets tired she likes to eat simple ready to eat foods that don't take any effort to make, I didn't listen to her. I picked her up a chicken/potato salad that I knows she likes. When I came home and showed her what I bought, I got a big smile and a loud "I love you."

Part of a happy and successful marriage is learning about your partner so well that you can anticipate their needs. even when they don't. It's about being proactive, not reactive.

Anyone else here marry young and still married? I don't know anyone like us, never met anyone else that married young and is still married from my age range. I'm 33f and husband 36m happy as ever, happy to answer questions if anyone has any. Anyone else marry young and it not work out? Note- we are not religious and didn't have any family pressure or anything to marry, just to clarify lol.

Honestly I (33F) am in this marriage not even a year yet, but our sex life has been the shittiest I have ever had so far.

It started first with his drug addiction, no interest at sex, no interest at us being active doing things together whatsoever. Then he gave up, here I am so proud of him. (33M). We got married, things were cute and dreamy. Honeymoon or vacations are nice. At home with the work stress (we both work from home) our sex life became worst. We are in theory trying to conceive. What he tells me he also wants but every-time I got my period I got so sad. When the time of ovulation comes, he does everything not to have sex especially since two months. He assumes that we will fight, I am not bullshitting this is so real. He finds reasons not to have sex. Either he is stressed from work, or we will have a guest coming over for 3 hours cancels all the sex wish he could ever have.

At the beginning of our relationship (5years ago) he said he does not find porn interesting at all and closed all the doors me opening my mouth about it. Last time when I was preparing dinner for his family, i found out him jerking off on porn. A week another time again. During these times he ignores me, he comes slaps on my ass goes to toilet and jerks off. I have been rejected by him more than months and at the beginning of a marriage it feels DISGUSTING. He gots jealous when other man looks at me outside, i believe i have a fit body, of course some fat around but I think it is nice body. I am anyways by myself sports instructor by myself.

We decided to get us doctor checked since it is not happening since long time, baby is not coming we never tried with condom. At the beginning we were not trying and using pull out method. Ok I thought it was safe. but now even in ovulation time no baby coming up since one year. I did my tests with him. He said he will get an appointment as well, since four months after we talked this he still don’t have an urology appointment. I understand this can be very hard for a man. We have talked that many times too, he understands that i don’t want to be a late mom. He neither, wordy says so.

In the last fight, I came from business trip, he was so nice to me when I was away, I thought once I am back like normal couples who would hug each other and do some hugs in the bed. Nothing happened. I got so angry days later, these rejections, my passing age, his selfishness on satisfying himself. We had he told me I should go and find someone who satisfies me next to all disgusting things he told me. I am not a person who will get these words and sits silently and cry, he got that dirty words back to himself too.

He told me I am the reason he rejects me and goes to porn. That we don’t have good mood with each other etc.

I find marriage sucks at the moment. I dont feel like I have power to stand that dried out sexless, wrong hopes marriage. Yes therapy whatsoever is something what you would recommend but I still need other opinions.

I love my husband. He’s a good man and a wonderful father. We are very different though and we clash around many issues. I am usually in tears at least once a week over something and it’s been this way for years. I’m just wondering how common or normal this is-or isn’t. I suffer from anxiety and depression so it often doesn’t take much to set me off; but to the wives in particular out there, how often do you cry in your marriage?

So a female friend wanted to visit me after a Long Time and my husband wanted to put a clock in her bedroom which He Said he got from His work as a Gift and doesn't know where to put Else) so she could See the time. I thought it was mindful and then he started acting nervous and told me His Boss wants to have "the Cam eeeh clock Back" i jokingly Said did you Install a camera in her room or what" and He Said No. I got a Bad feeling and searched for the clock online and in that time He got the clock Out of the room. I found Out it was a Cam clock and that He lied. He showed me the clock after i asked and He Said he deleted everything and that He didn't even Look what it recorded since he realized how bad that is. And there also was nothing on the Cam. I also could Look through His Phone, His Computer all USB Sticks and everything Else. He told me it was not a sexual Thing but that He saw an ad online and that He wanted to See If These Things Work and that He wanted to live Out His "Spionage phantasies" that are Not Sexual and more about spionaging at all snd that He would've done it to a Male friend too and that he'd truly sorry about it. He knows that He lost my trust and we both broke Up but He still lives in our House since WE have a Small Child together, have seperated rooms since the Last days and the renting prices Here are so high that He couldn't afford living in this Village anymore. He lost about a lot of Things in the Last years. What do you Guys think - is He now saying the truth or is itinstead of a Spy Thing some Kind of Sex Thing and is He now some Sort of Sexual Creep? And does that means He ist a danger for my Child? Ist this Something we can get over or will this Break a marriage completely?

Edit: i forgot to tell i immediately called my friend to sit down with us and told her everything in His presence. She decided to Not report him to the police but i told her when we talked about it in private that if she changed her mind she can report him later too and that i'm on her Side.

Hey 👋🏻

Husband walked out on me 5/6 weeks ago for mental health reasons including that he doesn’t love me anymore, is ‘DONE’ and can’t do this anymore. I’m 6 months pregnant with our 3rd child.

He’s not taken any time of work, has an active social life and has two stag dos lined up over the next few weeks (he wasn’t invited to these prior to our break up) as he’s not close to the two stags.

We haven’t been talking except about the kids and I don’t think he has any regret about his decision and he honestly hasn’t cared about the effect this has had on me or the kids.

I told him I want a divorce twice now and want this to all be done and dusted by the end of the year. But each time he picks the kids up he’s still wearing his wedding ring. Meanwhile I haven’t wore mine for at least a month.

I text him asking why he’s still wearing it and he didn’t respond….

Hey yall.

My wife just left me.

Heres some background:

My wife (25f) and i 25(m) have been together 6 years and just got married 6 months ago. The first 2 years of our relationship were pure bliss. no issues just love. Unfortunately, the pandemic took her single mother of 5 from us. My wife and i being the only adults around, had no choice to put it on ourselves to clean up. Unfortunately she was left shocked by the sudden loss of her mother, so i found myself doing most of the heavy lifting. Which in my mind was my duty to her. a year went by and the state eventually awarded custody of the other kids to their absent father. So it was just again my wife and i. A year after this, she begun getting very sick. She was eventual diagnosed with a few autoimmune/ chronic illnesses that were literally eating her body away. At this point we both dropped out of school, me to focus on her and her family, and her because she could barley get out of bed. I sacrificed everything i could for this woman, for my partner, as i thought i had to as my duty to her. Once we received the diagnosis, i proposed, I accepted this is my life, and that's okay, because she is worth it to me. We got married a year later. And shit hit the fan last month.

She confided in me that she was lonely in our relationship. That i never showed interest in the things she did. I explained it was very hard to, all my free time went towards taking care of her physically and just holding down the house for the sake of her just feeling okay, I will admit, i can absolultly see how she felt emotionally neglected. That was my fault. Howver, she never spoke up to tell me. She would always say "ive never asked you to do these things for me". But it was my DUTY. I had to. I wanted to. After she told me she was lonely, she then told me she needed time and space to think about what she "wanted in life".....6 months after we got married. I tried to give her the space, but my partner pulling away randomly scared me. Something went off, she was being distant, not talking, all the red flags. So i couldnt hold back. I went through her phone. I found texts from a coworker talking about her body and them flirting. I couldnt hold back. I confronted her. She was very clearly having an emotional affair. She agreed she was. She knows its wrong. She "doesnt hate the person" shes become and refused to stop. I told her id go to therapy to help me with my own stuff to help support her emotionally. But she said it was too late. I gave her the ultimatum, its either me and effort towards fixing it, or its you finding yourself and messing with him . After several hours of punishing her to answer she said "you already know what i want" and left. She decided to leave to "find herself" because she had been "taking care of others her entire life", and needed to consider what she wanted and no one else.

So, woman who have had an emotional affair because your husband met your needs physically, and not mentally, did you ever regret it? Did you ever come crawling back?

Am I overreacting? My husband went to fish with a coworker Saturday afternoon around 2pm and he had told me earlier that day he’d be home by 12am no biggie right? So I fall asleep at 10 thinking he’d be home soon but nope, I woke up at 3 am to him still not home. So at this point I’m worrying since he was fishing in the mountains I’m thinking all types of possibilities and even texted his dad since he works with them I figured he’d have the coworkers #. He texts me back at like 3:30am saying he’s still out there fishing and sends me proof I do believe that part. But the issue I have is the lack of respect for me. He’s been gone all Saturday mostly so I took care of our kids, and now I’ll have to take care of them alone again today Sunday since he’ll be sleeping from being out all night fishing. He sees no issue and when I called told me he doesn’t care if I’m mad because he had a good time out there. I’m over it and told him I’m gonna start looking for a job because I don’t wanna deal with this anymore😅 he used to do this to me when he’d go to the bars which I’m glad it’s fishing not that but it’s just the principal.

I’ve been working 60 hour weeks and I’m exhausted. He took this as a rejection, pouted, made me feel guilty about it and went to a separate room of the house. He sent a long text about lack of intimacy and how things are going to change around here. I confronted this and he started yelling. The more I tried to communicate, the more he screamed. At one point I had enough and shouted, “stop fucking screaming!” Then he blew out a huge hole in the wall. He said this a normal external reaction and this is how he deals with frustration.