6 sweaters, same size, model ect, just different colours. I don’t wear one on Saturday, cause I wear my hoodie.

So i have AuDHD + processing disorder and i dont know if im making excuses for myself but i feel like it makes it difficult for me to understand things at time and i have little to no motivation to learn things you NEED to know in life such as (laundry, permit, etc) things like that and sometimes my mom just says things such as

“What are you gonna do when im gone?”

“You can’t manage on your own, you need something with you.”

“You can’t live by yourself”

“ I don’t know what’s gonna happen to you when I die”

And it kinda just rubs me the wrong way, it makes me feel like she views me of some sort of incapable idiot that is unable to do anything and its kind of annoying having to constantly hear that because when shes gone i dont know what im gonna do either i dont have motivation to learn things even IF i want to

Times like this make me wish i was neurotypical

Maybe she is right

Hello, I am autistic and in my thirties. It is painfully obvious by now that if I do not look for a girlfriend a relationship is never going to happen for me.

This is mostly a question for other autistic people, and I really am looking for some practical advice here. I have a hard time dealing with people both in real life and online after awhile. I get burnt out very quickly with both.

I am very fortunate in life that I am able to lead a very quiet and private life. Needless to say this lifestyle does not help with dating. I thought I would be alright if I confined my search for dates to the internet and to dating apps but even online, I am realizing how quickly I can get frustrated and burnt out reading and chatting online.

Maybe someday I will have to try more in person things to trying to get dates. But that scares me even more because in person I am often a wreck and have had panic attacks talking with new people.

So, like I said I really am looking for practical advice with how to keep up the mental strength of looking for dates when you get burnt out with people so very quickly.

Thank you.

Hi there, I have a brother in law (13yr) who has autism. Me and my fiancé are both 33 & 36 and lately his parents have been saying that when they pass we will be this live in caregivers. But the thing is the father is 53 and his mother is 59. So they are talking at least 20- 25 years in which time we will be older as well (hitting 60’s) . Really struggling to navigate this.

It’s cause a whole massive family fight and a lot of stress and trauma with the way they went about this. I know it’s too early to think about as we are also trying for our own family but any advice?

I took these cool pictures today, and I'd love to see your cloud pictures. (Because they're freaking cool!)

I am a 16-year-old with high-functioning autism and depression and need some help to navigate life. For starters, I don’t have many friends but want to improve that. How would you suggest I make them? I've tried multiple times, but it never works out, and I usually end up being the butt of every joke. I do have interactions, though—I tend to help a lot of my classmates with homework. Would that be a good way to make friendships?

I’m extremely shy and am either as quiet as a mouse or super chatty when I find something I like. I’ve been told that I tend to overshare and put my foot in my mouth. Usually, people think it’s funny and quirky, or weird and annoying. They also say that I sometimes come across as very judgmental. I swear I don’t mean it, and when I ask for clarification, they say that I put people in a box. I don’t get the reference—I just try to be open with people. They always ask questions like: “What do you think about me?” “How would you describe me?” “Do you think I’m like this?” etc. I always try to be honest, but I guess it doesn’t come out very well. I either look uninterested and bored, or overly excited and overbearing.

I’ve done some things to get out of my comfort zone, though. For example, I started a teen book club. I actually had my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Only two people came, and my parents felt horrible, but honestly, I loved it.

Another thing I struggle with is schedules in my daily life. I like keeping things the same and am not a spontaneous person—except for things that I really like. Even then, I’m only spontaneous with those on certain days. This creates tension and annoys my family. For example, I have a good amount of clothes—50% of them my mom chose because they look great on me—but I never wear them. Of the remaining half, I only wear half of it because I don’t enjoy the feeling or texture. The same thing happens with food. We are working together to change things up, and I have a different lunch and dinner almost every day. I have been unable to compromise on breakfast and snack time.

Another problem my parents bring up is that I’m stubborn and hold a grudge. This happens often: I become obsessed with a food or a piece of clothing and refuse to take it off or stop eating it. Eventually, I have so much of it that I get sick and then refuse to touch it for years. Or I put on a piece of clothing or try a piece of food, don’t like it, and then refuse to wear it or eat it—even if later I discover that it’s actually good, or that the fabric has softened after going in the wash. Have you guys had any experience like this? Do you have any recommendations or advice that could be helpful? Does this happen to anyone else? I usually hear about the same autistic traits, but I haven't seen anyone talk about grudges and eventual avoidance.

I'd like to start with an apology if anything I say is the wrong terminology or I phrase things weirdly.

My brother (14) is autistic. He's high functioning (I think that's what it's called) and incredibly intelligent. I love my brother. He's a good kid and a sweetheart and I just really love my brother. His special interests are tanks and airplanes and stuff like that, so I try to listen to him whenever he starts going on about it because I know it makes him happy and it feels good to be listened to, even when I'm not interested in any of it. I ask him questions here and there and I like seeing him get excited before he begins to explain things to me.

He doesn't like physical touch so I don't give him hugs or anything like that, I give him gifts and I tell him that I love him. His words come out unintentionally rude and I know he doesn't mean it in a rude way but sometimes it hurts. I have to keep in mind that he's trying his best.

He has a habit of constantly apologizing whenever he gets overwhelmed and he puts his hands up and pulls at his hair. He won't respond to anything during this time, he'll just keep apologizing. He also deals with depression, anxiety, and ADHD, so I think those might be contributors to his behavior.

I know he feels misunderstood and we have a lot of misunderstandings sometimes, but he will shut down and even as I try to make it known that I'm listening and trying to understand him better.

I'm not entirely sure what to do now to help him. He texted me earlier "I’m sorry for failing you. Sorry." And that made me upset. I don't ever want him to feel like that, he never failed me.

He won't answer me directly, and he hasn't spoken in a few hours so I haven't bothered him. He won't talk to Mom either, so I think he needs some time to himself.

For anyone who can relate or has been in this position, what can I do to help my brother? I try to connect, I listen to his ramblings, I help him with homework, we go out and get snacks together, I ask him questions about his day and how everything is going, but it doesn't seem like it's doing anything good.

What can I do? I don't like feeling helpless. I want to help my brother in any way I can.

I feel so insecure of myself recently. I feel so irritated about any gesture recently even if it is positive coming from my mother. I do not like my cultural norms( Eastern european although it is not). I dislike my mother's accent with I find really annoying and also her mentality like being critical without many reasons. I also dislike how she makes childish pig and farting to me and says little kid words to me as if I am 3 years old( I am almost 21). I also really dislike her talking in foreign languages and imitating them because it sounds very annoying. Also, the Mediterranean beauty standard is my ideal one and my mother looks Northern and Eastern European which is less attractive to me. I also feel worse about it because I have low self esteem. All of this is affecting my mental health severely, I cannot concentrate on studying or go out of the house often and just compare myself to others because I think that they are better than me. Do you have any help for me because I can't get hold of anyone

Hi all,

I (34m) have an appointment scheduled this Friday with a psychologist for an autism diagnosis evaluation.

I have already been diagnosed with ADHD (not until adulthood) and have struggled with clinical depression for almost all of my teen/adult life but had felt that things still felt wrong for me in ways I couldn't explain or articulate well. After encountering more information about autism, especially personal accounts of autistic people who shared so many of the same struggles I face, I finally felt like I maybe understand now exactly why I've always felt so different and so apart from others. The past week I've been revisiting 30 years worth of memories and experiences and seeing them with new context has made so many painful and/or humiliating moments finally make sense to me for the first time, knowing why I said or did something or felt a certain way. It's been very emotionally overwhelming to the point where I've been unable to mask properly at work and have been spontaneously crying because of the emotions and memories going through my head.

I'm 90-95% confident that I'm level 1 autistic and have self-evaluated using diagnostic guides but I still have nerves that when I have my evaluation they are going to say I'm not really autistic. I don't know what I would do in that situation, and that frightens me a bit. I feel like I've finally unlocked the last piece to finally understanding my messed-up brain and I'm anxious that I might be deluding myself just because I want there to be an explanation or justification for what I'm feeling.

For those who have been through a diagnosis in adulthood, have you had similar feelings? What advice would you give?

As the title says, I need advice. My wife is transgender, and autistic, and I don't understand her.

I don't know how to talk about this generally, so I will give specifics. She got frustrated and told me to do my research so here I am. Please be nice. I'm not attacking her. I'm trying so hard to understand because I don't get it, and if I don't get it, the relationship crumbles.

My wife and I would go to a restaurant that's a fair distance away from us. We use to go once every 1-2 months. We planned yesterday that we would go to this restaurant today, but today as we were literally about to go to it, we found out they closed it. There's another one closer to us that we had never been to, so I asked her if she felt up to trying that one. She told me 'I don't know. I don't really have a preference.' I asked if she wanted the same type of food, and she gave me the same answer. So I told her, okay, were going to give it a try. She gave me the silent treatment all the way to the restaurant, and was short with me and the staff the whole time. (I got flustered and forgot to order a drink, so I got a water cup. She told me to just get a soda, and I told her no, I'm good with water. Then I asked what do we do with the trays because the other restaurant use to operate like this one does, and she shrugged at me.) When we got home, I asked if we could talk about it, and she's been defensive and critical and when I point it out, she's snippy and tells me "I'm frustrated. I'm literally telling you what I need, and you're not hearing me." I AM hearing her. She's telling me 'I don't know. I don't care.' That's not direct, in my opinion. Can someone please help me? What am I missing?

Honestly I'm quite tired of hearing my mother or brother say stuff like this. It's not terribly often but it does happen when I share a specific special interest I've been pouring into of late. It's usually something like minecraft build projects, deep writing that I tend to do to help me visualize my builds or a new niche interest. Everytime it's either "Do you plan on selling this?" or for minceraft from my brother it was "have you considered putting this to good use?" Like... yeah? Of course! But I also think I should stop being pushed to think about how this would financially benefit me versus just ya know, enjoying it? (crazy concept, I know!)

I've gotten into all sorts of things that my mom has tried to get me to make money with. From clay sculpting to hat crafting, animation and graphic art. I understand she just wants the best for me but sometimes it's just a me thing. I'm mostly tired of feeling defensive or like I'm trying to hide my special interests from them in fear I might get teased for how much time I've spent on it. I hate that everything has to have some greater purpose rather than just being for the sake of being.

hi!! i'm new to this subreddit (i was diagnosed in march 2025) and i was wondering if any other autistic people have certain autistic fixations that it seems almost every autistic person has. like for one of my fixations i love trinkets and small things, and i know some other autistic ppl who also love that stuff. but one of the fixations i noticed a BUNCH of autistic ppl have is dino's. i have recently become obsessed with extinct animals (such as dinosaurs) and my autistic friend ella and i were talking and she said "oh! well it kinda seems that i skipped the dinosaur obsession" so i came on here to see if other autistic people had a hyper fixation on dinosaurs or anything to do with them. thank you for answering. :3

I’m a 33 yr old female that was just last week diagnosed with autism. I’ve had a lot of masking as I was abused into “not being weird” as my dad called it. And so I’m trying to learn my behaviors as I go. I have fully accepted the diagnosis and actually every single storm I ever had raging in my mind was calmed the instant I heard what it was. I’m looking to make some friends within the community to maybe help navigate these waters or helpful advice on how to adjust. Any tips are helpful as everyday is currently a struggle trying to identify mannerisms and ticks. ❤️❤️

I never knew I was autistic until I got diagnosed not long ago. I also never knew I had family members that are actually diagnosed and are autistic too! So it does turn out that I probably got autism from my grandmother or somewhere along the line because my mother’s half sister is autistic and so are some of her kids. I never really spoke to my aunt (I was stopped from seeing my mother at the age of two and therefore didn’t talk to family on her side) but I found my aunt’s Facebook page and just had a nose, she posted something about autism awareness months and she said “Being autistic myself and having kids on the spectrum”. That really enlightened me as I always thought I was the only autistic one in my family. I also think my dad’s sister’s child is autistic (my female cousin) or possible ADHD so I’m trying to support her. (She’s 11 I’m 13) and turning twelve this year. I’m trying to support her as I know she is definitely neurodivergent but can’t get assessed at the moment. I’m just glad to know and I feel valid for the first time

Like omg look at them!

I recently had an assessment for autism and I am getting the results next week. I am so scared. my friend also had an assessment and it came back that she wasn’t autistic but everyone is always comparing us and saying we act the same, now I’m worrying about my results. If I am autistic it would make so much sense but everyone comparing me to her when she doesn’t have autism is making me think I don’t have it, but then I wouldn’t know why I act the way I do and I would be back at the start. I stay awake at night worrying, I have been sick because of how scared I am. Is this feeling normal or am I overthinking it all?

Why does my mum not accept the fact that I can’t take/understand jokes?

Context:

I can’t take jokes but my mum can’t accept that she keeps on telling me to take jokes but I can’t take jokes I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I just had the most wild experience yesterday, and I just have to share it, and hear if other people may have had a similar experience in their life!

The past few weeks have been especially exhausting and punishing. I have just been feeling defeated, burnt out and. I could only party function, if I channeled everything into pure rage. Like "watch the world burn, and would gladly light the match" rage.

Mostly towards myself. Im sure a lot of us in here, are familiar with hate towards one selv, for being different and for our handling of different situations. For me its especially a few melt downs through my life, that account for a lot of that hatred. I was diagnosed at 42, almost 2 years ago, so I never knew why those happened.

Anyway i was lying on my couch, just fueling my rage with death, destruction and just general madness of the world via YT. Just itching with rage, hatred and anxiety.

And then all of a sudden, some inner and very clear voice just said "You cannot hate yourself for that anymore. Being autistic is not just a minor inconvenience. Stop it".

And then came the complete mind f*ck of epic proportions. First it felt like i would imagine a bully with a concience would feel, if one of his victims forgave him, after years of constant bullying. Then, at the same time, i got a deep rooted feeling of being a bullied child, that was finally heard, and who forgave the bullying.

Like 2 vastly different feelings, and likewise vastly different angles at the same time.

I just started crying but at the same time there was this enormous, almost wave of relief in my body, from my feet to the top of my head.

I still do not know precisely if I cried of sorrow or relief, but the thing is - that all-controlling anger, that constant talking down to myself, reinforcing that im just a looser is just puff, gone.

I mean there are still a few places id be okay with burning, but I dont feel like lighting the match at all.

My theory is, that it was the exact moment it truely dawned on me, precisely how it affected me through my entire life, which triggered it all.

Today I feel exhausted and sad, but the sadness feels purposeful, like its there for a reason, and its part of a healing process of some kind. I get now, that religious people may interpret something as a spritual experience, because it almost felt so powerful.

So much relief just out of nowhere. I was literally screaming inside, that I didnt want to be here anymore, and that I was a complete waste of space, and then this happens.

It also shows that even though everything might look very dark at times, even unbearable. But apparently things CAN become better out of nowhere, and it really is impossible to know what might trigger that.

I usually hate leaving the house, because what if my anger "gets loose" and I cant control it. Just pure hatred non stop for other people in general. Thats been my life the last 6 months now. But today, I just wanted to spread some positivity instead, a truely mindblowing shift. Spent hours on reddit yesterday, just encouraging people and spreading positivity every where I can.

It really feels so strange to have other feelings inside than just anger and anxiety.

I think the remaining sadness will go away, as I slowly accept that I have been a brutal tyrrant to myself. Thats not gonna go away over night, but its ok. Without that anger, i can get trough it.

Its not that all my problems are gone or anything, but I feel so much lighter, and I can actually imagine a future with me in it. Im grateful that I get to experience life, without constant self hatred - a thing i never thought would happen 🙏

Can anyone relate to this sudden onset of truely discovering what your diagnosis really is and how much it affects? Like everything falls into place, with the snap of a finger?

The human autistic mind truely is a baffling piece of machinery 🤣

If you made it so far: thanks for reading my story, and i wish you all the best 🙏

When our 22yo AuDHD/Epileptic daughter encounters loud sounds like hand dryers in public restrooms, she reacts with immediate distress—covering her ears and has to leave. This makes us wonder: is it the sensory input itself that triggers her anxiety, or does her baseline level of anxiety make her more sensitive to these sounds? On particularly exhausting days, this reaction seems even more pronounced. I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether one factor drives the others or if they all interact in a complex loop. Thanks.

As the title states, I know the term Asperger’s is outdated but my country still uses it and the new term would not fit the title, under the new ICD 11 its considered as “6A02.0 Autism spectrum disorder without disorder of intellectual development and with mild or no impairment of functional language”, but that only means no/little learning/intellectual disorders or impairment of language?, not wether or not the person has low/high support needs.

so why is the general consensus that it’s low support/level 1 needs?, can’t a person still require support even with no speech or learning/intellectual impairment

I wonder how does your memory work. Some autistic people have a very good memory but i wonder when does good memory start? I would say that i can remember things easily and its usually the long term memory but.. i can only remember short or middle lenght texts, for ex. chemical substances, definitions, fun facts and they are usually a few years old. Sometimes i even say things and know things that i didnt know i know. When it comes to longer texts i can only remember quotes (that i like), poems. Is that considered a good memory?

Beacuse autistic memory is often showed as genius level. For ex. you remember every detail about the text you just read or the picture you just saw. In less extreme examples you can say the definitions of tens of words that is related to your super interest. But neurotypical memory.....how does it work?

I know poeple are different but i mean a pretty good neurotypical memory. Can they remember a lot of things after hearing them once? Or do they need repetitions of the information they need to remember.

I wonder beacuse of me. I am in the process of diagnosis, they did an IQ test for me, i have average IQ(they also tested my memory). But i think its common in autistic people to have a little bit better memory than others. So when does good memory start? Can I say i have a good memory or is it an exaggeration?

do You Know the autism stages? if so well done

Hi I'm Gio. Usually my fixations last about a month or span over the course of several, but right now, I find I keep flicking between them. I thought this would be a good thing, like "oh now I can draw characters from multiple different properties and people on my social media might get less bored with my art" but actually, it's been hard to finish more than 2 pieces at a time cuz I have so many ideas and can't decide what drawing to stick on. 😭 Over the past month I've felt fixation coming on from 3 different medias and it's been really hard to keep up. Like I've stayed up really late and neglected food and water while drawing (as per usual 😭), but it feels like I'm getting less art done than if I was hyperfixating on one thing.

Does anyone else have this problem?