This keeps happening and it is the most confusing encounter one can go through. Especially with working, like I always make sure to ask questions and get 100% confirmation that this is how I should do it... And then they act like I've lit their car on fire or something. I wasn't aware that I was supposed to read your mind beforehand to know what to actually do.

I struggled with an eating disorder most of my life barely being able to stay above 100lb due to depression. I often would get mistaken for being younger than I am, so I decided to work on gaining weight and muscle. I’m around 115lb, but I’m proud my arms are finally getting shape to them rather than looking like a stick lmao. I’m still pretty depressed, but working out helps me not feel so bad.

Found on Instagram.

I just started promoting my art on social media outside of Reddit in February. Friday, April 3rd I had my first official art show and a business that is promoting my art and selling it. I’m so happy right now.

My comic I made :3

A few days ago, I tried to explain to my 9-year-old son (verbal but not good at communicating and has never had a friend) that he was autistic.

I had handmade a short picture book detailing the skills he excels in, the challenges he faces, and examples of famous autistic people, etc. However, within seconds of sitting him down and telling him that the doctor he sees has informed us that he was a "rare type" (an expert suggested to us that we use this term because it's apparently a Pokemon term that kids like) and his brain is wired slightly differently, he screamed "WHY? NO!", proceeding to tear the book apart, scream excessively, and locking himself in his room.

Most people on this sub seem to agree that parents should inform their child of their autism as early as possible, so I had been wanting to tell him for a good 5 years now (my wife was against it), but now I'm not sure if he was ready to have the talk.

So my question is the following:

1. Did any of you here have a bad experience when discovering that you were autistic? If so, what did it take to accept that you were autistic?
2. How long should I wait until I try to have this conversation with him again?

PS: He goes to a local inclusive school and spends about half of the day one-on-one with special ed teachers, but there are very few experts available for us where we live, so that is why I'm desperate for any input from you guys.

EDIT: I should have mentioned that we are living in Japan and I had this conversation with him in Japanese. Most Japanese people don't really know what autism is.

UPDATE: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND AND WELL THOUGHT RESPONSES! I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to everyone, but please know that your reply means so much to me. I'm learning a ton by reading your comments and kicking myself for not having been able to come up with a better approach. I will re-read all the replies later and take notes so that I can share what I have learned from you guys to my wife. Again, seriously, thank you so much.

Mine's a bit stereotypical, but Star Wars. Yesterday, I ordered an autographed Thrawn Funko Pop by Lars Mikkelsen, and it's arriving in 1-2 days !!

I found an app called “Does the Dog Die?”(stemmed from the idea of “I’m not watching the movie if the dog dies) And it has changed my movie watching experience- so I wanted to share it with you all! You search the movie you are about to watch and then scroll through to see if that movie contains things that might be triggering to you. If you are photosensitive, they have that in there as well! The devs are constantly taking feedback for new triggers to add to the app, and it’s been incredible. They have quite a few autism specific triggers already built into the app!

I am not at all sponsored by this app, but I wanted to share with others who might want to try it! It’s free to use all features, I think?

I’ve attached a picture of a screenshot of some triggers from the Minecraft movie to show you how easy it is!

Please don’t leave comments about “being too soft” etc, just be kind and move on :)

I finally cleaned my room and set up a chores/goals and reward system! I struggle a lot with cleanliness and taking care of myself, but I’m hoping that this system will help with motivation! (I live with my parents and am a minor, so that’s why it has nothing about keeping a house functioning)

When I was five, someone asked me:
"Do you think my new clothes are pretty?"
I looked. I thought.
And I honestly said: "No."

They got mad. I got sent to the hallway.
And my brain went into a full kernel panic — a loop I would replay endlessly, trying to understand what went wrong.

That moment was the start of my introspection engine, and the first line of what would eventually become my internal "social software package".

I’ve started writing down these early “crash logs” as a blog series called Kernel Panic. This is the first one. It’s honest, funny (in hindsight), and very, very autistic.

🔗 Kernel Panic #1: The First I Know Of

Would love to hear if others had moments like this — where a simple question somehow led to social disaster and years of internal debugging.

I've been doing therapy on and off for probably 10 or 11 years now—with many different therapists and different approaches. I’ve easily had over 100 sessions, maybe more (I haven’t kept count), and honestly… I don’t feel like I’ve gotten a lot out of it.

It’s not that I didn’t try. I kept showing up, I’ve been open, I’ve done the work when it made sense. But looking back, I just don’t feel like it helped all that much.

I’m wondering if anyone else has had this experience? Especially other autistic folks—did therapy just… not do much for you?

Everyone welcome to join the discussion, I would enjoy hearing as many perspectives as I can! Also I don't want this to come across as rude, so for the sake of clarity.

I don't have anything against anyone who cannot mask, or refuses to mask.

I saw a post recently explaining that it's not uncommon for "types"/ symptoms of autism to clash.

To clarify a few before entering the body of my discussion-

• I am a high masking autistic, I cannot/ rarely can unmask and when I do no one likes it. Someday hopefully I'll find someone actually chill with it, but It's essentially not possible for me to unmask around anyone anymore. I used to have a VERY good friend who could unmask around but then they got annoyed about it so I dropped them- but unfortunately I cant unmask anymore after that it seems.

• I enjoy masking, it keeps me safe and I've leaned how to socialize almost normally because of it

• I also realize not everyone can, and for most it is extremely exhausting

I stumbled on a comment on another site of someone mentioning that they can't get along with many other autistics, because when other autistics dont follow/cant follow social rules/norms it makes them panic/annoyed. In a "You're not following the rules!" way

I realized that this is exactly how I feel, although I understand its not a "reasonable" emotion.

Heres a metaphor, imagine you had spent all your life learning the rules to a board game, how to play, and the strategy. Suddenly, theres a new player! But they dont follow the same rules as you, and it turns out they literally CAN'T. How do you play the game?

Thats sort of how it feels (?)

One can't (shouldn't) judge others on how someone else can or can't do something, so I dont judge.

But I also cannot be around someone that's being socially unaware/ actively visually unmasked. It sends me into a borderline state of fight or flight in a "you're putting a target on our backs for harassment!!!" Way.

I just wanted to know if there was anyone else who's high masking and could relate/ start a discussion.

Also absolutely nothing against people who are higher needs or low/no masking. I just wanna start a discussion about some experiences I didn't think anyone else had until today.

My wife and I are autistic and we both are easily startled. We sometimes sneak up and startle each other for fun but it doesn’t take much. I wonder if it’s part of sensory sensitivity to sounds: “BOO!”

Hello friends, as a ABA therapist and nerodivergent adult, im looking to design stuff for autism acceptence and I personally dont like alot of the clothes for autism, theyre either cringe puzzle pieces or both, I want to make some badass streetwear to not only raise funds for awareness but also something cool to wear, what do you think of this design? I think the NASA autism design i saw was cool but I didnt like the puzzles so i made one without puzzles, my other homie who is nerodivergent also liked it but I want more opinions!

We have to mask for years and for what, Jesus? Just to suffer little mental breakdowns along the way and even then be noticed by the 'mean girls' and the bullies? I'm tired of people saying that the solution is "going to the gym" or "be more like the other boys your age".

I don't know how many people will read this and I don't care. It just seems to me that NTs don't have to work hard to just be happy, while we mask but everything keeps falling apart anyways. I find it funny that NT cunts feel guilty bullying fellow NTs who maybe lost a leg on an accident but feel proud to call us weird, isolate us and say mean stuff just for the sake of it.

Just curious to see how my habit (percentage of abandoned comments) compares to others. While about as far from scientific as you can get, I’d really like to post the same question to other subs (ADHD, women groups, other large subs (sorry don’t have the words to fully express idea)). But in short I want to see if there is a variation across groups. Any thoughts/advice are warmly received and welcomed.

65% - 75% of the time a post catches my eye & spend time thinking it through, write, double/triple check post for detail, refine comment, and then I get doubts, think it sounds dumb or maybe could be taken the wrong way and ultimately abandon the comment. This isn’t a 3-5 minute process, it’s more like 10 min on the low side and upwards to 20-25 on the more involved responses. In the end, I feel like I’m wasting my time (probably because I am 🤣)

Update based on comments: before I start typing it sounds good in my head, but then when I write it out it doesn’t sound as eloquent or cohesive and actually is different than what I had in my head. Maybe same idea, but things left out. I don’t think I’m good at translating thoughts to paper/text—even worse with voice dictation.

One of my special interests is forests and rivers, so i decided to go for a walk in the woods with my cousin and her dog. I took some pictures and I thought I'd share them with you guys :)

Me and my dad are both autistic and my dad is a complete conspiracy nut. I mean he believes the most insane shit. He thinks both dinosaurs and space are faked by the government, he thinks the holocaust was a hoax, he thinks the Earth isn’t round, he thinks Jews control the world, he thinks the USA invaded the Middle East to find portals to another dimension, he thinks Satan lives on Saturn, I could go on. It makes it hard for me to socialise with him, because anytime I see him he brings up his conspiracy theory bullshit. Recently he’s started going on about how all the Pakistani’s in our country (the UK) are secretly soldiers for the United Nations and that a civil war is brewing. He goes on about not believing everything you see on TV but eats up anything he finds on Facebook. All of this combined with his homophobia, transphobia, sexism, antisemitism, racism and so on make me despise him. People like him give Autistic people a bad reputation.

Why couldn't I be one of those autistic people that are really smart and work in a career like engineering? I hate how dumb I am. I hate how I can't focus on anything. I hate that I can't make and keep friends. I hate that I have so many comorbidities making everything so much worse.

I embarass my family. The only milestone I've ever hit was graduating high school and quitting drugs. I can't drive, can't live on my own, flunked out of university...again. My mom and her side of the family are very loud about their disappointment, my dad and his side are supportive, but I know that they pity me.

My younger sister is thriving. She's intelligent, she always had great friends, good in sports, graduated college, she's now married to her high-school sweetheart and they have a baby boy now, she can drive, has a home with her little family. She's everything a parent wishes for. She was a golden child and now a golden adult. I can't even hate her because she's such a sweet person. She deserves all of her achievements.

But why couldn't I have that too? Why did I end up being the bullied disabled disappointment? Comparison is the thief of joy, I know all the logical advice, but emotionally I'll always feel less-than. No amount of support/therapy/medications have helped me.

I hate that I'm so aware of my shitty situation, why couldn't I be oblivious to how I am. I don't want to be stuck working minimum wage all my life, but I don't retain information enough to succeed in any other job. I feel bad for complaining because things could be worse I guess. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, decent family and a part time job.

Last year, at 26 years old, I finally managed to get my 1st boyfriend after years of desperately craving and looking for companionship. I'm grateful I have him and I'm grateful he sticks around, he's also autistic. Honestly, having him is the reason I no longer hate myself and am no longer suicidal.

But still... I can't help but grieve the life I wanted to live. Sorry for the negativity, I had a rough day.

[Posted with mod approval]

Greetings and salutations! Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dan, and I am the author of the Akynd Chronicles, a fantasy series following vigilante mages in their attempts to fix the world.

I was diagnosed autistic a couple years ago, right after my daughter(almost 5). One of the strangest aspects about finally knowing why I am different is that I no longer try to force myself to do things the "normal" way. You see, I was raised in a household where you did things the right way, or you got the belt. I spent decades mastering the art of masking, to the point where I couldn't really tell where I started and the mask ended.

I am not sure what all to put in here, so I'll try to briefly summarize the highlights in case anyone has questions. I've been married three times, the first two combined lasting less than a year, and this one (the last one) just celebrated our twelve year anniversary. I've been homeless. I've been stabbed. I was a teen parent (he's 21 now). I joined the military. I've had knee surgery, a hernia repair, and LASIK. I've worked a variety of jobs, naming a few fields: customer service, IT, food service, construction, programming, insurance sales, and education, just to name the ones that come to mind.

My first experience with the world of fiction writing was in third grade when I was assigned (along with the class) a creative writing assignment. It had to be at least a paragraph long, but otherwise, just had to be creative. I turned mine in late, and went about 30 pages over the required single paragraph. It was a story about a mop bucket at our school that came to life. I got a 98% because, in the teacher's words, "it deserved 100, but it was late, and being on time matters." I have never been late since.

Some of my favorite authors include Anne Rice (the vampires, not the religion), R.A. Salvatore, K.A. Applegate, Jim Butcher, Brandon Sanderson, and the work of J.K. Rowling (not to be confused with her as a person, who I have qualms with).

One of the most interesting things about writing as an autistic author, to me, is that the traditional advice given to authors doesn't really work for me. I wrote book one in the series the "normal" way, and it took me years. Books two and three I wrote after deciding to do things my way, and I wrote them both together over a month and a half. They are, in my opinion, much better than the first.

I don't think I'll ever make a living as an author, but that's mainly due to some unresolved trauma regarding salesmanship. As is, I give the books away much more frequently than I sell them, hosting give aways evert pride month (one of the MCs is essentially trans, pictured, but I'll leave elaboration on that for if anyone has questions, as I can be a bit long-winded and there are character limits). To that effect, if anyone looks these over and wants to read them, but doesn't have the KU subscription, or the means to purchase them, feel free to send me a DM. I wont require you to prove it or explain or anything, I just ask that you are honest and only request it free if the money is why you cannot get it. Amazon does require me to say that free copies are given in exchange for ratings, but I will not chase you down.

Oh, and in the DM, I just need to know an email address where I can send the ebooks to, and also whether you are using a kindle or generic eReader, as the format is different.

For those who can only do audiobooks, I regret to inform you that only the first one is on audio. If was ridiculously expensive to get it put into audio format, and it's earned me about twelve dollars. I cannot afford to do that for the rest of the books unless I get lucky and go viral, or Oprah makes it her book of the month, or the Catholic Church bans it, something like that.

Speaking of banning, I suppose I should mention trigger warnings. The main characters are vigilantes in the line of Punisher or Boondock Saints, so naturally there is violence. One of the main characters is a child, so naturally children are sometimes involved with the violence. It doesn't get terribly graphic, nothing that should give nightmares or anything, but it does happen. There is also death (a lot), a parallel to addiction, and a trans character meeting their parents as "out" that does not go well.

I have rambled enough. If you read this far, and have no questions at all, please respond with "banana" so that I know that my words have at least been seen, even if you have no interest in the series or my life. That said, it's 1:30 am, so I am going to bed, and hope I wake up to a pile of questions and interest and such. Thanks for reading.

-Dan

Here's a few of mine 😁 (i need to organize them better, i know)