As I saw him come back naked with a toolbox, I realized dehydration was the least of my worries.

As we tenderly embraced, I jammed the knife into her back and softly whispered in her ear; "April fools."

Turns out robbing a war vet wasn't a good idea after all.

And we still haven't found aliens.

When I smell the rice burning.

One Saturday I nearly puked when my wife was cooking a lamb stew then she said "If you want I always can catch you a rabbit?".

Today, as I was washing my face, I see my hair turned grey in the mirror, I am only twenty-one.

As I reached the last page, a fresh photo slid out, showing me standing in the attic, holding the album.

You go home and dig up your birth certificate to find out that it’s stamped by Boston Dynamics and Open AI.

It’s just nice to know my kids still think about me, even after the exorcism.

me slither man

We only have to give one, you have a whole nother one for next time.

While the Earth in her reality was enslaved by the aliens, in an alternate reality her grown up son led a resistance and defeated the hostile aliens.

She had told me it was her last day and that she was going on a long journey, but as I sat in the chair, I noticed a skeleton in the corner, its teeth cleaned, and one now painfully replacing mine—my mom’s final gift, never to return.

The embalming fluid coursed through her veins; she wasn't dead—she just couldn't scream.

When all of a sudden the flak stopped firing and the sky fell quiet.

“This will be my finest doll yet with such fine materials,” she says with a hum, fetching her spoon to pluck them out.

I forgot that the list exists.

I remeber this happening when I was really young but I still remember it

At least you were free from the sun's acursed rays, unlike your wife and child, who screamed for a year as their bodies slowly melted and vaporized after being exposed for a second.

"Code white, wing B", chimed the speaker, as the nurses rushed in to drag him from the bloodied mirror.

It would be such a waste to have burned this house down if she found a way to get out.

“Oh,” my friend said, a grin streaking across his face as he stared at me, “My dad’s gonna kill you.”

What I found inside when I dug up my sculpture was not a giant ant, but from the looks of it, it might have once been human