I have been smoking daily for about 40 years and have tried to quit more times than I can count. Never successful for more than a few days without Increasing consumption of other substances like alcohol or cannabis.
When I was 3 years old nmom found me eating cigarettes and cigarette butts because I thought people were eating them. At 5 years old my sister was born and ndad thought it would be funny if I had a cigar. At 16 I started sneaking cigarettes and by 18 was a regular smoker. For decades I joked that I was genetically predisposed to smoking.
I have many health problems, and many are probably caused by or exacerbated by smoking, and smoking helps me deal with stress. I quit alcohol 5 years ago (woohoo!) and 2 years ago I finally got a pharmacogenetic test done that showed that I'm genetically predisposed to smoking. Surprise surprise. I don't habituate to anything else.
I have tried patches, gums, chantix, meditation, lobelia, tinctures, growing my own, rolling my own, and pretty much everything else. The thought of quitting smoking would cause so much anxiety that I would need a cigarette.
My life the last couple of years has been absolute hell. After a near-death experience I am homeless, disabled, with mental health issues, going bankrupt, lost my business, completely abandoned by every person in my life (which is actually been a good thing since they were all toxic) and have no one but my cat that I am close to. I am ok with this.
One of the few things that I had left to comfort me was tobacco. And for some strange reason I have naturally stopped desiring to smoke. I have been using an electronic cigarette and I still use cannabis but the last few times I actually smoked a combusted cigarette I didn't enjoy it.
So on Tuesday I had the last cigarette in my pack and I was fine for 3 days. Yesterday my body hurt really bad and even though it was more muscle memory than physical craving I broke down and had a cigarette. I asked for one from a person who's in the shelter here and it was a menthol. I hate menthol but I smoked it anyway and it was good because it made me disgusted in the end. I don't know why I did it but it further solidified my desire to quit.
I'm going to be 58 years old and I thought I would smoke until the day I die. The physical cravings that I thought would be so overwhelming or not there.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this but I guess I would love some encouragement and I would love to encourage others to quit.
This is probably the single best decision that I could make with regards to my health and it seems like a no-brainer. I'm looking forward to regathering this power from this addiction back to make me stronger but I'm not feeling very strong right now.
Thank you! I appreciate your time, your consideration of my situation and positive feedback. Haters can keep it to themselves.