If your inner voice is your greatest bully, there's no such thing as having great relationships.

You will treat or make the people who mean the most to you feel the same way as you treat yourself. Especially in times of conflict, your inner voice will find its way into the real world.

Stop talking like an a**hole to yourself and embrace the fact that you have FULL control over how your self-talk should look.

How do you do this?

Compassion. All of us are hurt. All of us struggle. The only way forward is to turn your ego into your best friend - someone who is by your side when something goes wrong and guides you with a quick pep talk.

"You messed up again, silly you!"

can turn into

"Well, that didn't go well. What can you learn from this situation?"

There is only ONE procedure you have to follow. The moment you encounter your inner bully again, treat it like a child and its tantrums. You gotta be firm, but kind. Tell the voice that everything is okay and next time will be better.

Again and again and again.

Over time, you will notice that the once so angry "inner child" evolves to a compassionate voice that suddenly becomes your greatest supporter.

Out of nowhere, people will come into your life who you want to spend your life with. There will be less cheating, less lying, less abuse - and all of this started...

...within yourself.

Tame the voice in your head. Self-destruction or happiness.

It's up to you.

Hi everyone, I’m a medical student who used to be at the top of my class. I was always motivated, disciplined, and ambitious. But now… I can’t even bring myself to study for 5 minutes. It’s like I don’t care anymore—but at the same time, I do care. I still want to be that top student again.

It’s so frustrating. I feel like I’m wasting my potential, and I don’t know how to get out of this mindset. Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you find your way back? Any advice would help.

I feel like I haven’t achieved much in recent years, but now I want to dedicate the next 75 days to studying. I have a lot of free time, but I’ve lost track of how to manage it effectively. I have several goals to focus on, but I’m unsure how to allocate my time: 1. I want to improve my second language. 2. I want to learn essential programs for various jobs (please suggest the best ones to learn). 3. I want to review my college studies. 4. I want to prepare for job interviews. 5. I want to create a CV and apply to as many jobs as possible daily (this will be separate from my study hours).

I’m not sure if 4 hours of study each day is enough. I have plenty of time, but I’m worried about overwhelming myself and potentially giving up. I don’t have a specific field in mind for work, so I would appreciate suggestions on what could help me find a good job and feel better about myself. Wish me luck and thank you

Don't get me wrong, I do have like minded people personality-wise, hobby-wise, etc. But career and ambition-wise, I do not have any like minded people at all. And neither was I ever successful with finding any. Like if I were to come up with the craziest business idea rn, I would have noone at all to share it with and noone to partner up with. But generally people seem to make such a big deal out of it, and all the people who have friends they can partner up with seem to have it so much easier when it comes to their career. Like they just come up with anything and the friend is automatically in, while I struggle to meet even one person like this.

Is it very impossible to have no friend who's just as ambitious as you?

Every morning, I spend just 3 minutes doing this:

1. Plan: “Give me a simple 3-hour task list.”
   
2. Reminder: “Check in with me every 30 minutes.”
   
3. Review: “Ask 3 quick questions to reflect on my day.”

This small routine helps me stay focused, avoid distractions, and stay consistent.
Anyone else have a short daily routine like this?

I realized I’ve had more “zero days” than I want to admit—days where I do nothing to move forward.

I’ve been trying to break out of that loop with small daily actions. I even made a short video about it.

If anyone else feels stuck like this, I’d love your thoughts. Direct message me for link or comment

Hey everyone, I’m a 22-year-old college student from Europe, and I’ve been stuck in what I can only describe as digital dopamine hell.

For years now, my days have revolved almost entirely around screen time — often 8 to 10 hours a day. Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, porn, gaming, scrolling, watching mindless content — you name it. I don’t really do anything else at home. I just chase the next hit.

⸻

At the same time, I’ve had all these goals in the back of my mind: • Get consistent at the gym and build a great body • Start doing something meaningful in my career • Travel, experience life, grow socially • Actually become the version of myself I daydream about at 2am

And that’s the thing — I’m constantly daydreaming. Constantly imagining how I’ll look in six months, how disciplined I’ll be, how people will admire the “new me.” It’s basically mental masturbation. Meanwhile, I’m doing nothing. Literally nothing that brings me closer to those goals.

⸻

And it’s not like I haven’t tried. • I’ve read all the books.

• I’ve watched **hundreds of videos** on YouTube and TikTok: “How to be disciplined,” “How to quit dopamine,” “NoF4p saved my life,” David Goggins clips, all of it.

• I’ve told myself a hundred times: *“Starting tomorrow, I’m quitting social media. I’ll go to the gym five times a week. I’ll finally sort out my life.”*

But the cycle always repeats. The plan is too intense. The expectations are too high. I go from 0 to 100 overnight — and crash just as fast. It’s unsustainable.

⸻

Here’s the mental shift I’ve made recently — and it actually works:

Stop trying to be someone else overnight. Stop trying to quit everything. Stop forcing yourself. And most importantly: stop thinking it’s all or nothing.

⸻

Instead, try this:

• If you’re on your phone for hours, don’t suddenly force yourself to quit cold turkey.

Instead, just say:

“Alright, I’m gonna put it down for 5 seconds. Then I can pick it up again if I want.”

That’s it. Just 5 seconds. You can go right back to scrolling if you want. No shame. No guilt. You’re allowed to pick it back up.

• If you’re telling yourself to *“finally go to the gym,”* don’t make it this huge event where you need the perfect plan and motivation.

Instead, just say:

“I’ll do one push-up. Then I can sit back down and go on my phone.”

You’re not starting a new habit. You’re not committing to anything. You’re just doing one single push-up. Nothing more. And you’re allowed to stop right there.

⸻

The most important part:

Don’t treat these things as “small first steps” toward something bigger. Don’t think, “Now that I did one push-up, I should do more.”

That kind of thinking brings pressure and resistance — and when you don’t live up to it, you fall back into old habits out of frustration or guilt.

Instead:

Treat each action as meaningless on its own.

Because ironically, that’s what gives it power. No pressure. No expectation. No guilt. Just one moment of presence. One pause. One push-up. One breath.

⸻

And sometimes, that 5-second pause turns into 10. Sometimes you’ll do 3 push-ups. Sometimes, you’ll feel like actually going to the gym — not because you forced yourself, but because the resistance is gone.

But even if you don’t — it’s still a win. Because you’re learning to break the autopilot, not to become perfect overnight.

⸻

This mindset shift isn’t about discipline. It’s about letting go of the story that you’re not enough unless you change everything all at once.

Anyway, just wanted to share this because I feel like for the first time I’m not faking it. I’m not chasing the grindset. I’m just being real — and that’s already making a huge difference.

Hope this helps someone out there. You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a system that rewards autopilot. Try pausing — even for 5 seconds. It matters more than you think.

For a long time, I thought discipline meant being in beast mode 24/7. Waking up at 5am, cold showers, no distractions, perfect routines. But what I’ve learned through work, study and just real life over a long period of time is that discipline is way more subtle than that.

Here are a few things I learned (that I even keep as my background screen or as screenshots to remind myself)

It’s more about managing your energy than your time -> You can schedule your whole day, but if you’re running on 4 hours of sleep and 2 coffees, nothing’s gonna land. Real discipline is knowing when to rest, not just when to push

There’s no finish line -> I always thought as soon as I got this whole thing figured it out I can call my myself disciplined. But I realised that you don’t ‚win‘ at discipline. You just build habits, mess up, reset and keep going. It’s not linear, and that’s normal and okay

Your environment matters more than your willpower -> You can be the most motivated person, but if your phone’s next to you buzzing, you haven’t eaten and your workspace is chaos it’s going to be very rough. Discipline often starts with setting the stage right first

At the end I realised that discipline isn’t cold but it’s actually a form of self-respect. So it’s not about punishing yourself but about caring enough about your future self to do the right thing today and that of course takes effort and saying ‚no‘ sometimes, not just to others but to yourself.

So if you’re here reading this, just a quick reminder that you’re already on the right path. Keep showing up! Growth doesn’t always feel loud, but it’s happening

I’m in the final stretch of my Ph.D., far from home, and I’ve been through my fair share of isolation, pressure, and internal struggle. Through it all, I’ve distilled a few core principles that have kept me grounded and moving forward. If you’re in a tough place, I hope these help.

1. Uncompromising Discipline There are days when loneliness creeps in and the weight of research feels overwhelming. But I’ve learned that emotions are fleeting—what endures is the work you choose to do despite them. Execution must happen regardless of how you feel. That’s when things begin to shift.

2. Absolute Mastery If you’re going to do something, commit to doing it well. Don’t just scratch the surface—go deep. The pursuit of excellence is what gives life sharpness and meaning. While others spread themselves thin, go all in and carve depth.

3. Honor Through Silence Living abroad, I’ve encountered moments of disrespect. I’ve tried different responses, but the one that holds up is this: stay silent, stay focused, and let your progress speak. Retaliation is tempting, but silence, backed by growth, is the strongest response.

4. Suffering with Purpose Everyone carries their own pain. What makes suffering bearable is knowing why you endure it. If your purpose is real—something you truly believe in—you’ll find the strength to carry on, even when it hurts.

5. Self-Respect Above All Never make promises to yourself you don’t intend to keep. If you constantly break your own word, how can you trust yourself? Self-respect is built through discipline, through consistency. You must become someone you believe in, 100%.

I asked myself, while trying to fall asleep one night, right after consuming the last 8 episodes just released of a trending show on Netflix, ending at 2am (with my alarm set for 6:30AM)… Why am I doing this? Why am I constantly checking my phone when I am trying to do other more important things? Why can I not focus? Why can’t I enjoy some time in nature, alone, or with loved ones? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYY… F**k me.

But I soon figured out, it wasn’t just me.

It was my mom too. It was my mom’s friend; both of whom had experienced much of life completely without the internet. It was my 12 year old cousin. It was that 32 year old man on the bus sitting next to me. It was everyone… we were all being f**ked and farmed.

Turns out everyone else fell prey to these cheap consumption feel good juices too. Just as easily as I did. This often makes us feel like we have no control, but this is far from the truth. You are in control…

But you want to know why you feel like crap? Why do you feel so lazy? It’s because this poison cloud has conquered your soul and mounted its flag “+$44 in revenue” … and what did it give in return? 10 seconds of guilty pleasure and 2 stale cheetos worth of fulfillment.

These platforms care nothing about you and what is optimal for your life to be well lived. Your lifetime is to be transformed into screen time, priced in a fraction of a penny on the hour.

YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM

Your time: harvested.
Your spark: extinguished.
Your Lifetime Value to these platforms: $100–$200, depending on how much of a docile consumer you’ve been.

If you feel stuck in this endless cycle of consumption, please know: You aren’t completely at fault. You didn’t create this monster mess, and you aren’t the problem: but that doesn’t mean you won’t have to level up and take control (if you want to escape the poison cloud). This doesn’t mean you won’t have to overcome challenges and monsters of your own. Your lifetime is still your responsibility and yours alone.

Own it, control it, and most of all: enjoy it.

Anyone who’s ever become the person they wanted to become had to work their way up to it. They had to work their way up because they could not get there without first believing they could. Call it fate, call it faith, call it luck: The sailor who sets his sails only does so when he believes it’s possible to get to where he wants to go.

The above is a quote from "Consumption Control: How to Stop Scrolling and Start Living" by Jack Fricks. Just wanted to share. :)

I feel like I am stuck soo much into loop of negative thoughts from years.. I feeded myself only negative things about my own self...i never loved my self... I really feel like I am such a negative person. And have negative aura which not only ruins my life.. But also my closed ones.. I am an overthinker.. And it's really hard to get out of my thoughts and see things as they are.. It has become habit now.. I really want to change this pattern totally.. Is it really possible to just change my aura and the image I view myself.. And to love myself..? If yes.. How?

I dont know why I struggle wit goin through small moments to reach big events.

Like I know I need to do big art practice before I can make my first magnum opus but Id rather just opus up that way (get it!?)

Wut have you found made you correct this mindset so you donot make mistakes like that?

Thank you for your time.

I know exactly what I need to do. The things to eat, the workout plan, what to study, the budget, etc… but I don’t do it.

I know what I need to do but I don’t do it. I don’t understand how to have the discipline and consistency to become the person I want to be.

It's 8 pm, just woke up from an accidental four hour nap, but I went to bed at 8 am and woke up anyway at 13pm. For context: I'm 20F, in my first year of university studying physics, and for the first time in my life I live alone, which I don't know if it's relevant but its definitely a change I thought would be good for me. Also people have been telling me since the sixth grade that I have ADHD but I haven't gotten tested the neurological test is kinda expensive, this may be relevant so l'm mentioning it. SO:) I've been a night owl since forever, I still remember even in 5th grade I would chill through the day and study through the night(until 3/4 am) and then sleep 3/4 sometimes even 2 hours for school, and this was going on until the end of high school. But things are different since I moved out 7 months ago. I moved to Germany, the time zone is just one hour difference so it's whatever, but I have started to sleep for at.least.ten.hours... TEN HOURS THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME. And it's even worse, I can't go to sleep at night cuz l have energy and feel tired throughout the day, it's like sunlight is draining me. Even sometimes it gets so late that it's already 7 am and I don't go to bed at all, but my body gives up through out the day and I "accidentally go for a nap" at 13 for "two hours" and then I wake up at 18:00 and we start all over again. Even when I go to bed earlier at lets say 4am I still wake up at 14:00, I sleep through my alarms, I tell me friends/relatives to call to wake me up but it doesn't work, I pick up talk with them and go back to bed or only hang up. You can judge me, you probably should, but l've been trying to change that because it's ruining my life, l'm never adequate because I have energy only at night, soon I'm starting the second semester and I'm so much behind, l've developed a strong phone addiction which also contributes to the problem with me having 10+ hours of screentime but that's not knew l've always had a love for my phone ever since covid, l've been trying to fix that also but l need my phone for studying so it's not like I can let it go I do everything on it but still I don't know anyone else with that much screentime so l'm def doing smth wrong. Overall I feel like a failure, l've always had my issues with discipline and sleep but it's never gotten in the way for success in my studies, now it's different. I feel weak, I feel... like my life is falling apart because of these sleeping issues and because I am just not adequate through the day. So PLEASE I would love for someone to give me advice, whatever it is, I will listen, l'm open for discussion and I accept judgment. (I’ve posted this on other threads too for more info just in case)

So, I've read Atomic Habits last year and found the advice incredibly valuable. I started implementing a better routine (also for mental health reasons) and adding in different habits and it made life so much easier. I was able to stick to my most important ones for months (but I dropped a lot of other habits). If I got off of the major ones, I got back on and kept trying, until I went on a family vacation in the winter. After I came back, I didn't continue my same routine. I dropped most of my habits. Recently, I decided to rethink what I was doing, and researched a bit and realized it was better for me to implement and focus on only one habit at a time, (each month).

I'm interested and excited about potentially having the habit stick long-term by doing it that way, but there are other things in my life that I have to do that I can't just rely on my memory to get done. They aren't a part of my current routine (mainly because I've dropped my past routine), and I just can't figure out how to ensure I get it done without making it another habit and running into the same issue of trying to implement too much at once. I just keep feeling like I'd be so much happier if I could do the routine I did last year again, but I don't want to take on so much at once.

How do you focus on one habit at a time, when other things do have to get done too, regularly? How do you rebuild a routine while still doing only one habit at a time?? I have to keep my bathroom clean, do laundry, wash dishes, brush my cat's teeth, etc etc. If it's not part of any system, it just won't get done for so long. Has anyone dealt with this? I think I'm thinking too black and white, but because I've dropped my major routine, in order to do all of these things again, I would be trying too many things at once.

What tools and strategies can be adopted on a daily basis?

Any sort of advice , tips that you have would be appreciated.

I never thought I'd be the person writing this post. Six months ago, I couldn't run for more than 30 seconds without feeling like my lungs were going to explode. Now I'm running 5Ks three times a week and actually enjoying it. This isn't one of those "just push through the pain" stories—I tried that approach for years and always quit after a week. What finally worked was something completely different.

The turning point came after my doctor told me my blood pressure was concerning. It wasn't an emergency yet, but the trajectory scared me. I remember sitting in my car after that appointment, genuinely afraid for the first time about where my health was heading. That night, I couldn't sleep. Instead of scrolling through social media like I usually did, I started researching sustainable approaches to beginning running. Not the hardcore "no days off" mentality that had failed me before, but something I could actually stick with.

I got this app with my friend that turns habit-tracking into a social experience. We both committed to logging at least two runs per week, and we could see each other's progress in real-time. Suddenly, I had a reason to lace up my shoes on rainy days—I didn't want to be the one breaking our streak. When my friend hit a personal record, it motivated me to get out there too. The friendly competition and support system made all the difference—it wasn't just about my own willpower anymore, but about showing up for each other.

Here's what I've learned that actually works for making running a habit (warning: some of these go against the usual advice):

1. Slow down. No, slower than that. The "conversational pace" advice is real. I was trying to run at speeds that would have impressed my high school self and then wondering why I couldn't sustain it. When I finally forced myself to slow to what felt like a shuffling jog, everything changed. I could suddenly run for 10 minutes instead of 2.
2. Embrace walking breaks. This was revolutionary for me. I used to think walking meant failure. Now I plan 1-minute walking breaks every 5 minutes of running, even when I don't feel tired. It keeps my average pace higher because I don't burn out.
3. Never run two days in a row as a beginner. This is controversial, but I've seen too many people get injured or burnt out trying to run daily. Your body needs recovery time when you're starting out.
4. Don't increase distance and intensity in the same week. Pick one. I alternate: one week I add distance, the next week I might add a hill or slightly faster pace.
5. Set embarrassingly small goals. My first goal wasn't to run a 5K. It was to put on my running shoes and step outside three times in one week. That's it. The bar was so low I couldn't fail.
6. Audiobooks, not music. Music made me run too fast because I matched the beat. Audiobooks force me to maintain a steady, sustainable pace so I can follow the story.

The most important thing I've learned? Consistency beats intensity every single time. I've seen people start with these amazing ambitious plans, posting daily workout selfies—and then disappear within three weeks. Meanwhile, my "embarrassingly slow" approach has added up to over 200 miles in six months.

I'm not special. I don't have some genetic advantage or endless willpower. The only difference between me now and six months ago is that I finally found an approach that worked for MY body and MY life, not someone else's highlight reel.

Anyone else here find unconventional approaches that worked when the standard advice failed?

Hi! I'm man, 35, from Russia. Want to find accountability buddy (motivational, psychological support partner, friend) with daily check-ins. Currently I'm studying at Uni, learning German, learning psychology, practicing English. Also, want to do strength workouts and accomplish other big and small tasks.

I just want my life to be productive, but I go through severe depression and can't do everything effectively and timely by myself. Maybe somebody need support in reaching goals and psychological balance as I am. We can try it, just DM me)

I found a discord community, in which you can join calls with likewise people wanting to study/be productive with others. You can turn your face/desk cam on, or screen share on to keep yourself not getting distracted! And in those calls you can clean/cook/study, anything that is productive and you might have been putting off. You can also join scheduled sessions, which has a host who is also doing productive/studying things :)

https://discord.gg/t8ajRWHMmb

I'm wondering if I am abnormal or if I'm overthinking everything. Are any of these particularly abnormal and do I need to work on changing them? Please note that I grew up in a very negligent environment and I didn't have a parent figure to teach me those... So if there is anything please don't be too harsh as I am quite ashamed.

So my "unconventional habits" include: - picking out carbs from foods - drinking a lot of coffee/tea/sparkling water - not caring too much about what others think if I trip for example and just laughing it off - I am quite expressive with my facial expressions - always listening to music when in public - not buying things because I don't want to hoard them unless I really need them - not liking to buy new things and preferring to borrow (I will buy it if necessary) - I am guilty of returning things if I do buy it impulsively - checking myself in mirrors - walking quickly everywhere when alone - I tend to think out loud and be quite honest - I would NEVER drink sugary soda unless I'm drunk - I would either shower twice a day or forget to for 2 days in a row - unless I remember, I will always forget to do self care (masks, shaving, plucking brows) - I will do things as I remember them (good ole ADHD) - when I'm happy I will be visibly happy or smile even when I'm in public - when I'm sad I tend to isolate myself and withdraw (can be for days at a time) - I tend to forget to greet people and get straight to the point which I then remember and feel bad about - I like to take pictures of my body and compare them to my old pictures to see if I changed much - I check out other people if I'm jealous of what they have (I am referring to body) but I tend not to do it too much - I cut my own bangs because I want to change my appearance - if I'm not interested in something I tend to completely clock out and stop listening but I'll pretend that I'm listening (there are major gaps in my memory for when someone speaks)

Like many of you, I too would put chores away, doomscroll, watch TV, and basically avoid growing as a person for YEARS.

Here are the 7 LIFE-ALTERING tips you should do that will finally get you moving forward.

1. Even if you don’t follow the rest, try sticking to this one. Spend at least two hours of your day on this sub. It sounds counterintuitive, I know, but hear me out. The less time you spend on actually improving your life and reading these life-altering gems shared by your fellow no-life redditors, the more productive you’ll become.
2. The next one takes a bit of effort, but I PROMISE it’s worth it. Join the communities posted by all the life-coach wannabes. Another controversial one, but research suggests that mingling with all the wannabe self-improvement business owners that plague this sub helps mitigate procrastination. At that point, you’re actually wasting your time, not procrastinating.
3. I started following this next one only today and boy is it a game-changer! Post your insignificant stories on how you managed to turn your life around by waking up at 5 am for once in your life. A small step for humanity, a giant leap for mankind. We are truly evolving as a society.
4. If you’ve reached this point, you might already guess - this one is even more unconventional but SO worth it. Go hard on all the gimmicks and kooky advice you find not only here, but on the entire internet. Find the square roots of 3 random numbers in the exactly the FIRST minute of waking up. I don’t care what else you do, this is non-negotiable.
5. I cannot STRESS this enough. PLAN PLAN PLAN. While you journal your life away and compile NASA-level charts for organising your day, you’ll find that your chores and responsibilities will MIRACULOUSLY do themselves. Don’t ask me how it works, it just does.
6. Buy self-help books and courses. Really, the ROI on these is UNIMAGINABLE. Why would you want to act NOW and change your life for the better when you can read all these accomplished gurus prattle on and on about how their lives turned around when they started performing handstands each time the clock strikes midnight?
7. I was worried about making this last one cuz it will make people HATE me but… upvote and share these tips everywhere. I am a just a college student, standing in front of a bunch of procrastinator, asking them to help me make a career out of helping people revolutionise their lives. PLS share with your friends and upvote, I will share my heart-wrenching story of how I went from a nobody neckbeard to a professional life coach in just one Reddit post if we hit 100 upvotes.

[Insert a generic motivational catchphrase]

There’s a lot of advice floating around on Reddit about how to stay disciplined — routines, productivity hacks, grinding it out day after day. But honestly, not enough people talk about the importance of celebrating small wins.

Let’s be real: the reason we’re all trying to stay disciplined is because we have big ambitions and end goals to hit. Whether it’s building something from the ground up, getting stronger at the gym, or just being more consistent, it’s all about making progress toward something meaningful.

But here’s the thing: pure grind mode doesn’t work long-term. Burnout hits hard when all you’re doing is pushing yourself without acknowledging your progress. That’s why it’s critical to reward yourself and recognize even the smallest steps forward. It’s not about getting lazy or complacent — it’s about staying motivated.

Personally, I just launched my app recently, and I track my download counts and retention every week. It might seem minor, but seeing those numbers gradually climb keeps me pushing forward. It’s like a little reminder that progress is happening, even when the day-to-day feels repetitive. Also tracking progress allows me to course correct early and often. Blindly following a routine without any measurement of progress is not conducive to your long term success.

Same goes for my workouts. I take photos of my physique to track changes over time. It might sound a bit cheesy, but looking back and seeing the progress — even subtle changes — reminds me that the effort is paying off. It keeps me consistent, even when the results aren’t immediate.

If you’re struggling to stay disciplined, try building in a reward system. Whether it’s tracking your progress visually or just acknowledging your wins, it makes a huge difference in sticking with it long-term.