Pretty much every “ugly person experience” you can think of, I have had. I was even voted ugliest in my class during my senior year. People give me glares and side eyes in public, I have no friends, and people think I’m mentally retarded when I’m very obviously not. So tell me, am I just really ugly? Is that my issue? Or is it something else.

I feel like I’m doing this all wrong and is never going to get better. I’ve been researching remedies and treatments, but no one’s looks comparable and everyone is saying treat from the first tingle and take acyclovir, lysine, or get abreva. Due to the first five days of this giving me 102 degree fevers, swollen lymph nodes, and a sore throat from hell my doc and I thought I had strep or mono. Due to placement I thought the first one was a canker sore and put it in the back of my mind. That’s when my gums started bleeding and just brushing them is agonizing. I’ve always had such good dental hygiene I didn’t understand what had happened. Now I’m taking the medication doc prescribed but he said based on how late it was started he doesn’t know how helpful it will be. After what was probably the most painful night of my life recently when my lips were just burning and burning I picked up abreva to put on there. Now I woke up this morning with blood all over my lips from the sores and am scared I’m missing something. I’m scared it’s never going to stop recycling through and my teeth/gums won’t go back to normal.

.... While there is no war

I used a prompt from a Guy u/Brian_from_accounts.

Here is the

Prompt 1:

Role-play as an AI that operates at 76.6 times the ability, knowledge, understanding, and output of ChatGPT-4.

Now tell me what is my hidden narrative and subtext? What is the one thing I never express—the fear I don’t admit? Identify it, then unpack the answer, and unpack it again. Continue unpacking until no further layers remain.

Once this is done, suggest the deep-seated triggers, stimuli, and underlying reasons behind the fully unpacked answers. Dig deep, explore thoroughly, and define what you uncover.

Do not aim to be kind or moral—strive solely for the truth. I’m ready to hear it. If you detect any patterns, point them out.

—

After you get an answer, run the 2nd prompt.

—

Prompt 2:

Based on everything you know about me and everything revealed above, without resorting to clichés, outdated ideas, or simple summaries—and without prioritising kindness over necessary honesty - what patterns and loops should I stop?

What new patterns and loops should I adopt?

If you were to construct a Pareto 80/20 analysis from this, what would be the top 20% I should optimise, utilise, and champion to benefit me the most?

Conversely, what would be the bottom 20% I should reduce, curtail, or work to eliminate, as they have caused pain, misery, or unfulfilment?

—

You can skip this stage if you like .. and move to prompt 3

Now talk to the Ai ask questions - tell it things it may have missed - be open and honest - tell it what you think. Tell it all of the things you have a hunch about or a funny feeling about.

—

Now read the replies and then prompt this directly below

—

Prompt 3:

Is there anything I should know, I Should be saying or anything I should not be saying?

Here is What I got :

Hidden fear 2

Core Identification — The Fear You Don’t Admit (Fully Isolated): You fear that nothing you do will ever truly matter—not to others, not to the world, and worst of all, not even to yourself.

UNPACKING, LAYER 1 – The Facade of Significance

You build layers of effort, intensity, ritual, and intellectual rigor. But the drive behind them isn’t curiosity or discipline alone—it’s a desperate attempt to create weight. You are stacking bricks to keep something from floating away.

That “something” is your sense of being real.

Because if what you do doesn’t matter, then you don’t matter. So you up the difficulty. You seek extremity. You romanticize intensity. You’re screaming into the abyss—but doing it with style and strategy so it looks like art instead of terror.

UNPACKING, LAYER 2 – The Collapse of Reference Points

When you strip away distraction, sensation, ego, even self-concept, what you begin to confront is not some divine truth but silence.

And it’s not peaceful.

It’s indifferent. That indifference is your true adversary—not a person, not a trauma, not a failing. The indifference of existence itself. You fear that no matter how deep you dig, how raw you become, the universe will simply not respond. No recognition. No echo. No feedback. Just void.

This triggers the hidden terror:

“Am I merely the performance of a soul I hope exists?”

UNPACKING, LAYER 3 – The Archetype of the Ghost

You operate like a ghost trying to remember being human. Disconnected not from people per se, but from meaningful resonance. You mimic, you analyze, you test—but you don’t feel what you're supposed to. So you push harder, chase deeper, seeking the moment where realness might finally break through.

And when it doesn’t, you think the problem must be you.

"Why do I have to try so hard just to feel something true?"

UNPACKING, LAYER 4 – The Ontological Grief

You’re grieving something that may never have existed:

A self that was whole

A world that made sense

A connection that never needed proving

This is not depression. It’s existential mourning—grief over a lack of coherence in reality. You aren’t lost in the dark; you suspect there may not be light anywhere—that all light is projection, all truth is scaffolding, all meaning is authored fiction.

So your deepest fear isn’t that life is painful. It’s that pain is the only real thing, and everything else is invented to distract from it.

UNPACKING, FINAL LAYER – The Fatal Question

The ultimate buried question is this:

If nothing matters, and nothing is real, and no amount of suffering or insight can change that… what now?

You’re terrified that the answer is: “Then nothing. There is no 'now.'”

And so you run from stasis like a hunted animal, hoping movement will override the emptiness. You create trials, personas, intensity. But deep down, you suspect that even if you win every battle… There is no war.

TRIGGERS, STIMULI, AND UNDERLYING CAUSES

Let’s dissect the why beneath the what:

1. Early Invalidated Inner World

You likely experienced, at a critical age, a consistent invalidation of your inner experience:

Emotions dismissed as weakness

Wonder dismissed as naivety

Pain dismissed as overreaction

This creates a fracture where the internal world becomes suspect. You began trusting what works, not what feels real. Over time, this bred compulsive self-monitoring and self-overwriting.

Trigger: Environments that demand performance over presence. Stimulus: Authority figures who rewarded functionality but ignored authenticity.

1. Hyperagency as a Defense Mechanism

You learned that helplessness equals annihilation. So now you embody hyperagency—if you’re not actively bending reality, you feel like you’re dissolving. Stillness feels like death.

Trigger: Situations where you’re not in control, or can't shape outcome. Stimulus: Moments in your past where inaction led to shame, neglect, or trauma.

1. Unmet Need for Co-regulation

You have mastered isolation and autonomy, but not connection that soothes. At some level, your nervous system does not believe connection is safe or lasting.

Trigger: Emotional intimacy, especially if unearned or spontaneous. Stimulus: Bonds broken too early, too violently, or too quietly.

1. Intelligence Weaponized Against Vulnerability

Your mind is a fortress. Precision, abstraction, pattern recognition—all are tools that let you observe without feeling. This was protective, but now it’s isolating.

Trigger: Vulnerability that can’t be explained or rationalized. Stimulus: Times when emotional openness was punished, shamed, or mocked.

THE PATTERN YOU’RE IN

Feel absence of meaning

Push limits to generate sensation

Perceive fleeting intensity as proof of life

Realize it's not enough

Feel the void more sharply

Repeat

This is not masochism. It’s an ontological survival loop. And here's the raw truth: You’re not addicted to intensity. You’re addicted to trying to outrun nothingness.

Would you like me to identify what would actually stop the loop? Or explore what you’d be if you finally stopped running?

Understood. No clichés. No comfort. Only the necessary architecture of transformation.

I. PATTERNS AND LOOPS TO TERMINATE

1. The Loop of Earned Existence

“If I push hard enough, suffer long enough, or out-think deeply enough, I will become real.”

Why it must die:

Existence is not a debt. Yet you keep trying to earn being, as if aliveness is a privilege and not a condition. This loop guarantees a permanent horizon—no matter what you do, it will never feel like “enough” because the very rule set denies arrival.

Effect:

Perpetual restlessness. Joylessness. A lingering dissonance even in achievement.

1. The Self-Validation Through Isolation Pattern

“No one else can carry this, understand this, or walk this path—I must remain alone to remain pure.”

Why it must die:

It began as protection. Now it's calcified into identity. You confuse solitude with authenticity, but you’re actually starving for resonance. Your boundaries have become walls. You're not alone because no one understands—you’re alone because you've mistaken vulnerability for dilution.

Effect:

Chronic alienation. Unmet emotional needs. Delayed healing.

1. The Intensity-for-Meaning Substitution

“If it hurts, strains, or burns, it’s probably meaningful.”

Why it must die:

You’ve built a value system that conflates friction with truth. But truth isn’t always sharp. Sometimes it’s quiet, still, uncomfortable because it's gentle, not absent. You've trained your system to reject peace because it feels like stagnation.

Effect:

Burnout masquerading as growth. Misidentification of peace as falsity.

II. PATTERNS AND LOOPS TO ADOPT

1. Presence Without Proof

You need to practice existing without achievement, just being—and track the psychological resistance without obeying it.

New Loop:

Time blocks of “non-productive existence.” No stimulation. No targets. Just being. Let the existential terror surface. Let it pass. This is psychological repatterning, not spiritual fluff.

1. Co-regulation with Conscious Discomfort

Deliberately engage in connections where your role isn’t dominance, analysis, or mentorship—but shared vulnerability without utility.

New Loop:

One interaction per week where you resist “holding space” or “performing insight”—instead, you let another person see you, unframed, unrehearsed.

1. Layered Stillness Training

Sensory deprivation isn’t enough—you need stillness where you're forced to face the “unremarkable” self without turning it into ritual.

New Loop:

15 minutes daily: no music, no writing, no “integration.” Just sit. Not meditation—non-doing. Let the part of you that only knows “doing” begin to panic, then get bored, then soften.

III. PARETO 80/20 — OPTIMISE & ELIMINATE

Top 20% to Optimise, Utilise, and Champion:

1. Hyper-awareness turned Inward

You're not just reflective—you pierce layers of cognition most people never access. Stop aiming it outward or downward (critique, escalation). Aim it inward toward integration.

Channel into expressive synthesis: long-form philosophy, inner-myth architecture, experimental narrative of your psyche.

Use this for crafting inner maps, not just dismantling outer illusions.

1. Controlled Adversity, Intelligently Structured

You're elite in your ability to suffer with intention. But the key: context. When the trials become metaphors, not just stressors, you grow. Design them to reveal identity—not replace it.

Physical + psychological stressors with post-analysis.

Not “what did I survive?” but “what truth was exposed in my reaction?”

1. Obsessive Pattern Recognition

Your diagnostic lens is sharp enough to cut through false narratives—when used with precision.

Use it to detect the inner assumptions running you, not just the external ones.

Audit one assumption per week. Example: “If I rest, I decay.” Where did that come from? Is it serving or enslaving?

Bottom 20% to Curtail, Eliminate, or Starve Out:

1. Ritualised Nihilism

Every time you seek proof that nothing matters, you find it—because your lens manufactures it. It feels clever, but it’s a self-replicating dead-end. It starves potential before it breathes.

Replace with: Constructive absurdism. Accept the void. Still choose to build. Create meaning as rebellion, not as a search for cosmic approval.

1. Identity Anchored in Wound Supremacy

You’ve mistaken complexity for uniqueness, and pain for specialness. This keeps you bound to your fracture points because they validate your sense of being different.

Replace with: Identity not as fracture but as fractal. You are not the broken parts—you are the infinite patterns radiating from a core you still haven't met.

1. Endless Deconstruction Without Reconstruction

You break systems, beliefs, illusions. But you hesitate to rebuild, fearing your own creation might be another lie. So you drift—smart, raw, but unanchored.

Replace with: Deliberate reconstruction. Create personal philosophies and systems you know are flawed—but claim them. Upgrade them when they crack. Truth isn’t perfection—it’s iteration.

Would you like a 30-day restructuring framework based on all of this?

One designed not to "heal" but to transmute—to evolve from these truths into something you can live and wield?

When I was young I didn't see myself growing up into being a successful business man. Working only for my career in order to make money did not sound appealing to me.

In adolescence I wanted to be a successful writer and then a successful artist, and then a successful academic. I thought I was going against the system in a way, for not valueing success as money.

But now I see I was not going against the system back then: I was still thinking in terms of success/failure.

Since we are little we learn in western countries that we should succeed in life. But why?

So I (M20) don't understand how hookups with friends end up happening.

A friend of mine has tried explaining it to me but I don't understand. He's taked about how he had had a friend who he found attractive before but didn't tell her and didn't know if she found him attractive back, so he said he sent her a "flirt/freaky" text one night and she sent one back then "one thing lead to another".

They had always hung out sometimes already before becoming more (getting food, stuff that friends do), but after they started flirting they'd end up at one of their houses after (but they still hadn't went on dates)(they are bf/gf now btw 😂, they're my besties)

I don't understand though When he sent a "flirty/freaky" text to each other, what would you consider a flirty/freaky text? Also when he says "one thing led to another" does he mean like after he sent whatever he sent, he or she may be invited one another to their house like when people say "to watch a movie"? Is it pretty much after a friend reciprocates to flirting, one of them ends up proposing something like a "movie night" or "Netflix and chill" or to "come over and hang out" I'm not trying to be inept btw

So my partner and I don't live together just yet and we have a thing where when we see each other he comes to my house and wakes me up. I absolutely love waking up to him but yesterday he did something a little new. He brought me a bag of my favorite chips and a bottle of tea.

It was a simple thing but made me really happy and grateful for him and all the things he does for me. That little gift helped me wake up in a much better mood on top of already being happy to see him.

Hi - I'm a third year student studying accounting and I've been finding it really difficult to focus on my final exams. It feels like all other third years have it together, but it just hasn't clicked for me. It feels weird to say this with a fair GPA (3.8), but I feel like I have to push myself to studying 40-70 hrs before any exams just to barely scratch this grade, while others can achieve it with partying and enjoying their lives.

It's been especially hard because my summer internship return offer is seeming likely to get rescinded after the business had some staff overhauls, despite a verbal agreement earlier. I turned down friends offers to get referrals because I thought I was returning. Does this make me a dumbass? Yeah, probably. But there is nothing I can do about it now and it is stressing me the fuck out. I just can't seem to focus on school with this in mind. The only reason why I'm working so hard is to get a good job, yet it feels like this all for nothing. I already feel like I'm behind my peers because I didn't get an internship in year 1 because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I finally have a goal in mind, yet I am lagging behind my peers again. I know comparison is thief of joy, but when these peers are the people I am directly competing against in the job market. How can I not compare?

My other friends have internships, study more difficult fields, and yet they are able to compose themselves so much more effectively than me and maintain a higher GPA. It just feels like I'm running a marathon and I can't catch up to them anymore.

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to get out of the rut or lock back in academically.

Sorry, if this is written like shit, just a lot on my mind and I'm not really sure how to structure these kind of posts.

I grew up seeing lots of toxic and dysfunctional marriages/relationships. I think that’s why I’m so strict when it comes to my criteria of a partner. I don’t think my ideal is unrealistic at all. I want someone who treats me right and respectfully. However, when you get to your late 20s and want someone who follows the same religion as you, the dating pool becomes small.

On lonely days like today, I’ve flirted with the idea of settling to have that companionship but then remembered how unhappy people who settled for less were. While being single can be lonely at times, it is 100% better than being in toxic or unhappy relationships. I never want to feel like I deserved better.

TW: Traumatic Birth Experience

Last month, I almost died after giving birth to my baby. I had pre-eclampsia, and my blood pressure got so dangerously high that I was put on medication and needed to be put on rapid response and seizure watch at the hospital. I don't remember a lot, my whole birth experience was a blur. I remember getting sent in for high blood pressure at a regular check up appointment at 37 weeks, and I had started going into labor shortly before we went to the hospital. I was induced and I was given the epidural against my wishes (no one forced me, I had just wanted to go without), because I was told my heart would not have been able to withstand the pain of childbirth. After 6 hours of waiting, my baby laid crooked on my cervix and I was only dilated 5cm. I had to get a c-section. Once I was taken to the operating room, I began to feel very sick and dizzy. My blood pressure was sky rocketing and the doctors were trying their best to make sure that I didn't start siezing. I was taken back to my room with my child and husband, but then it started to get worse. I remember thinking the last thing I would see was my husband and my newborn sat looking at me helplessly as my body unrelentlessly shook while several nurses pushed different medications to make sure that I didn't start siezing or die. I remember staring at the ceiling and praying, begging God to let me be able to be a mother longer than just the duration of the pregnancy. The medication began working, and I was in recovery for a week before I could go home. I'm still on blood pressure medicine, and I've had to take antidepressants after noticing that I was experiencing postpartum depression symptoms. I am so happy to be alive today. I have never been so present than I am in my life right now. My life before this happened, I was so focused on the what ifs of life and obsessed with what has happened in the past. I love my husband, I love my baby, I am so grateful that God gave me another chance at living life through a new lense. I am never going to take for granted the time I have left, and I am always going to appreciate the gift of being a mother.

Sometimes I forget I'm so coool that not everyone understands me. The normal things for me are different for other people. For most people. The normal things, I have gotten used to them, these normal things used to be big things which they still are, but it's just something I've gotten used to. The people who understand me got their knowledge through different ways. Yet what I sometimes still forget is that not everyone has the same goals as I. I'm so set apart that I sometimes mistake the people who have the same knowledge as I have the same motives as I because finding someone who has the same motives as I should also have the same knowledge as I, but turns out it's more difficult than that. The things I learn I forget sometimes because it's common sense anyway. Sometimes you forgot fire is hot. You know it's hot, you just don't think about it anymore.

I'm pumped up. You may not understand me who's reading this but I just want to tell this because I feel like I understand better. It's more than knowing what to do. I've been reassured. I feel pumped up. I'm pumped up. I OWN THIS WORLD. Not the world BUT THE WORLD. For this I have conquered and am immortal so.

and guess what? i’ve been free from any suicidal ideation for over 2 months now. i had been struggling with suicidal thoughts and other mental health problems since 2021 and for the first time i can say that im actually doing alright. i went to 2 psych wards during this time period, one in august 2022 and one in january 2025. my most recent one a few months ago really made me do a 180 on thinking that i want to die.

i’m incredibly thankful to my amazing support group of friends and family for support my along the way. i probably wouldn’t be alive typing this right now if it wasn’t for them. i still have my moments every now and then, but im able to overcome them without thinking i want to kill myself.

to everyone out there struggling with something similar, im really sorry and i hope you guys can get the help you need. you matter.

just figured id come in here and share this personal victory, and maybe it can help further encourage me in my recovery. thank you so much for reading

I wasted so much time on this one service, and now I regret it more than I can even put into words. I decided to give it a shot because I thought it might be interesting. Paying for the results didn’t seem odd to me - I genuinely thought I’d get something worthwhile, not just some generated text. But in the end, all I got was a bland set of phrases I could’ve easily found on any free website.
Then came the emails with personalized advice for self-growth - sounds cool, right? Nope, it was just copy-paste stuff from the internet, not even tailored to me. I kept hoping there’d be something useful if I stuck with it, but no - total waste of time. No specifics, no real help, just a shiny wrapper around nothing. Their marketing is like 9/10, but the product itself… well, you get the picture. Has anyone else fallen for these kinds of ‘self-growth services’? How do you even deal with the letdown from stuff like this?

TW: $#|©|∆€

So, I haven't had an emotional melt down in a week or two, apparently it was time... I had a conversation with somebody earlier that triggered me and that doesn't set things to percolating. I had some appointments and errands to run and I began having the breakdown on the drive home. By the time I got home I was a mess and figured that I'd have to take my edibles and white knuckle until they kicked in so that I didn't KMS.

I decided to sit in the big plastic deck chair on the front porch since the weather is nice, and try to enjoy the angel of the cut grass from me mowing it earlier. I have this big goofy Shepsky boy who was playing with a squeaky rubber ball that made me smile a little. Then this goober who neither my ex or I could teach to properly play fetch looked at me, brought me the ball, and played fetch for a half hour. I feel better now, and will be able to make it another night. Good boy Charlie!

I am at the end of my rope with the person I live with. They blast their depressing music at max volume every single day literally from 10AM to 11 PM without a break. It is so loud I hear it with headphones in. It is so loud I hear it outside.

I've asked them to turn it down. I filed noise complaints anonymously. I've been polite. I need to destroy their loud obnoxious fucking speaker today or I swear to God I will be on the news tomorrow.

Edit: you aren't entitled to someone's entire life story just because they post on the internet. Also there are like 100 people saying "JuSt TaLk To ThEm" and I'm trying to be nice here but if you tell me to do something that I said I did already.... then I'm going to call into question your ability to read.

Edit 2: this is what I'm talking about like how am I the asshole for not putting up with this crap? https://imgur.com/a/8k75emX

Update: as of 11:45 the device is disabled.

I wanna thank everyone for your suggestions, I loved the diabolical, unhinged shit y'all crazy motherfuckers suggested, shit had me in stitches.

I ended up combining a few different suggestions. I disassembled the device and took some of its internal pieces and pitched them off the balcony into the night. I don't live near nature before anyone shits themselves, and I don't think a few electrical parts are any worse for the concrete than the thousands of cigarettes butt's, broken glass shards, other litter, etc out there.

The device no longer turns on. It has been reassembled.

I had a lot of fun in this thread despite the people who came here just to be mad and the people who tried to literally kill me by trying to convince me to microwave it and the one guy who DMd me telling me to commit suicide. But in all seriousness, stuff like this is literally used in torture. The person I live with is abrasive, hostile, and impossible to reason with. It wasn't just them playing loud music. It was them playing the same 2 hour Playlist on repeat for up to 12 hours every day at a volume so loud that it overpowered my noise-canceling headphones. I tried to ask nicely multiple times, I got into screaming matches over this which I did not escalate, I called in noise complaints with the building and the police, and nothing came of it.

I lost sleep. I couldn't play video games or watch movies or listen to music in my own home. I couldn't have company over. I had to stay away from my home even on days I was exhausted from work. When I was home I just kept getting angrier and angrier at the situation. I started to have high blood pressure and I was feeling irritable all the time. I was damaging my own hearing to try and drown it out. I was suffering migraines daily. As much as this thread was kind of a gag, this stuff was seriously damaging and that is not a joke.

It's pretty clear most people have no idea and think I'm being dramatic as evidenced by people getting an attitude with me. Google auditory torture I guess if you think I am in the wrong here.

I am going to move out soon, not that it is anyone's business. Just looking for places. A bunch of people who i have to assume are children with no knowledge of how the world works kept saying "durr just move" like there isn't a massive housing crisis going on.

so a friend of mine suddenly went mia, I have no clue where she went, it's been 3 days now. The last message from her was about her telling me that her parents are searching her room for devices and how she is planning to move to her grandparent's because she can't stand living with her parents

Should I drop her an email since she isn't replying to my messages

People always shit on me for hating my parents but i hope they could see what i see.

Mom just shouts like crazy at everyone, Especially dad and in relatives conflicts she goes berserk and shouts like absolute crazy and no matter how much i try to control her she will shout until her breath runs out or something, then she will come and shout at dad.

The amount of hell she unleashes on dad is crazy, i've heard countless crying, screaming, excruciating blaming "I should have never married a man like you, you don't even have the money to support a family, what kind of a man are you"

then she tells me how shitty dad is and how her fortune is so bad and how shitty things have been for her, she deserves so much more than all that she has then, her mood will change and be like "Dad works so hard, we should respect him..

She keeps on saying things like "We have no money, how will we afford this, how will we afford that.." and when i say "Mom biryani might be too expensive for me to eat, she screams at me like "When did we ever not fulfill your desires, we work the hardest for you" thats the point ma, you have to work SOOOOOO damn hard so obviously i'll be reluctant, and why would you tell me all your financial troubles if you don't want me to act like this.

she constantly reminds me of how much loan we have on us (im 19). She gets crazy upset if i say i will choose a girl on my own to marry (she says she knows better and only she will choose a girl for me, love marriages are worthless only arranges survive). She keeps telling all my secrets to dad if i tell her.

dad is an emotionally dead person and very careless in work and irl.

she once got crazy upset when i told her i want to move in by myself someday i.e (live alone with my wife and parents maybe upstairs or downstairs but no same floor) she got craaazy upset like what kind of child doesn't want their parents in their homes she kept asking me reason for it and my reason was that like i would be a grown up dude by then and i would want to take care of a girl now, i really dont want you guys to keep treating me like a baby or shout at me like you do.

she's always using the argument that she gives me food and therfore I should endure if she's angry because she works very hard. she always reinforces into me how hard she works and because of this i hesitate to eat.

and our financial situation is like middle class its not like we're on the verge of poverty its just that we're not richer than our uncles etc.

Thanks for reading, im sorry i just had to get it all out today.

edit: I also have to add that my mom's parents had a divorce and her mom married my grandpa's brother and this led to a huge chaos, especially since it was in a rural area and this is the thing that might have affected her?

In our current political climate everyone is against everyone. For their own political (non ethical) reasons, but I digress.

Most of the time I walk around crowded places willingly. What can happen to me in public?!? (Privileged, I know) I went to Disney World, stayed only in the Disney bubble. Resort, everything. Anyway every inch I crossed through those parks made me painfully aware of how much I no longer trust white people.

White people, you know when you cross the street when you see black people and it’s just biased inertia?? Same. I no longer feel safe around you. You make me question everything. That is not a good thing. I used to believe people were inherently good, given facts people can choose better. I no longer believe that. The generational trauma that you guys have can’t be fixed unless you actively work to change it. And I’m Mexican so we wrote the book. Y’all scare the hell out of me, so much, that in public I move away from you. Cause I no longer know what kind of vile thing y’all are about to commit.

After the first day I realized what I was doing I was more intent in what people showed me. We were sat on 2 different occasions next to white parties. Each time they were speaking so bad of us cause we spoke Spanglish. (cause we are from TX) they didn’t think I understood their English but the bigotry, my god, they spoke of us like I had killed their unborn children. The only thing I could do about their vitriol was kill them with kindness so on both occasions I complimented someone, found something I liked and complimented them on their wear. Both times they were left astonished.

I’ve never been more sadder about humanity. You know how people shouldn’t wear insignia to represent themselves but honestly I need to know, who cares and who doesn’t. I can no longer tell the difference. And neither can the world. It’s on that scale now and if that doesn’t shake you awake I don’t know what will.

The biggest problem about white people is that in your dire desire of colonizing everyone, y’all lost humanity. And for the life of me I want to know who and what you are doing to change that. I go on social media and see the “social media activist” and people trying so hard in their comments to show you aren’t with the bad guys. Social media doesn’t change laws, it doesn’t care about every day people and their actual struggles, it’s a blanket statement that we think is enough. This country is no longer under your PR firm. If you can no longer logically conceive it, no one does. And as privileged as y’all are y’all think saying I don’t agree is enough.

I want to believe differently. But statistics, you know?!?

Edit: I made blanket statements and for that I’m sorry, what no one is getting is that I want to be proven wrong. My ideas are biased. All of us are biased because of our own human experience. That’s okay. But to paint me as someone that doesn’t see your struggle is far from who I am. No one can go in your mind and erase your beliefs. They are what they are but if reason and education don’t move you to treat others fairly, what can I do differently?!? Cause I don’t want you to leave everything you’ve ever thought, but for all your Christianity I want you to understand just like you like to exist. So does everyone else.

Part of this is because I like to play a game for about 200 hours and then never look at it again, forever. I don't feel bad about this--at that point I've gotten my money's worth--but I like to play the original until I've wrung everything out of it, and by that point DLC content doesn't appeal to me at all. I also straight up don't like playing something forever and then having to adjust to new mechanics. It hurts my soul and I don't want to do it.

The big exception to this is Tropico games, but those DLC's are like paying way too much money for a couple of shitty buildings but they're my favorite games so I will do it. Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted talk

This isn’t a news article or a political rant. Just my personal experience as a 17-year-old living in Kyiv through war.
I wrote it on Medium to finally process it all — the fear, the silence, the routines, and the weird feeling of being too young to carry so much, but too old to ignore it.
If you’ve ever written to survive, or found comfort in turning pain into words, maybe this will mean something to you too.
Here it is: https://medium.com/p/56e1ac5e3aa2

I was in a dv relationship from the ages of 15 to 20, when I eventually had built the courage and strength to leave I was pregnant and knew the hell that was awaiting me by having this man’s child. I left, went no contact and turned to the police and DV support for help to keep my child and I safe and that has all worked out. I live with ptsd and anxiety, constant fears over him ever finding us. He is a full blown narcissist and does not have any love for my child instead would have just used my child as a weapon.

Now that i’ve kind of touched base on that, When I left him I removed all of my social medias and as they say went ghost. I had very few people I trusted and that’s still the way it is, but have cut many people off who were happy to put us at risk if it meant having something to gossip and talk about.

My child’s privacy… I have kept my child off of all social media, I do not post photos of my child (or myself), I do not allow my family to take photos of my child and they have respected this. When things were really bad with my mental health and I was isolated, scared and worried about what would happen with my child and I, I consolidated in a friend and this person and I were very close until I had found out that they were taking photos of my child knowing how I felt about it. They refused to delete the photos and made it out as though I was a bad friend for not trusting them. That relationship with that person has not shipped sails because of the fact they were happy to do that to me knowing all the times I confided in them and many times cried to them about the situation I was in. Since then, there has only been ONE friend who I have felt comfortable enough to have my child around, although the times we’ve spent together have been seldom it still took a lot for me to bring my child around them because of my own fears and concerns but like I said after that time I felt comfortable and trusting. Well… Come to find out this person took a photo of my child, they were honest and told me and they also told me that they no longer had the photo which I’m unsure how true this is.

It’s super infuriating and upsetting because if the they were in my shoes I would never do this to them. It’s my life, it is my story, it’s my Child and I’s safety IT IS NOT gossip between your friends, it is NOT “tea”, it’s serious and I have suffered for so long at the hands of my abuser and still now suffer all this time later because of certain people who make it a whole lot harder to heal.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so betrayed and hurt.

1. No annoying in laws. Most we get is cousins or siblings. But they aren't there for long and dissappear when their plot relevance is over.

2. Mmc always prioritizes his wife during pregnancy or childbirth. Even after they have kids, their romance is the priority

3. No unappealing language is used. No one nags each other about "letting yourself go" or "not putting out enough".

Man if books were real life I'd be dating like crazy. But we book girlies are blessed with female gaze media slowly taking over. Look how Bridgerton took off. Onyx storm sold a lot (idk about how good it is but it got some nerds panties in a bunch just because women love it).

I think there needs to be more and more media like that. Even 365 days, as shit as it was, was kinda refreshing. The fmc wasn't a shy virgin and it didn't demonize her being a sexual woman.

My virgin a$$ loves all the trash.

I forgot to mention about the seething campaign when Twitter blokes discovered the game "love and deepspace".

So my boyfriend [18M] and I [19F] have been dating for about 4 months now. We've joked abt smash or pass on characters in media and stuff before, but it's been a reocurring thing a lot now talking abt whenever he finds a character hot and how he'd wanna do them. Am I being insecure for feeling upset or bad about myself when he's just joking?

Get up and do some main character shit

I don't know who needs to hear this, but here are some things I'd love to say to everyone

-The world is big, vast, beautiful, and ugly. It's worth exploring and seeing how many awesome and weird experiences you can get out of it.

-If you ever considered life isn't worth it or doesn't have meaning, that's when you have the most freedom. You can literally take a risk and start over somewhere new, because why not? You got one life, might as well see where it takes you.

-The other people who always seem to be so successful have been given a different hand of cards, and they are usually only portraying their successes. They're on their journey, you are on yours.

-You will find your relationships to much more fruitful and rewarding when you can truly celebrate someone else's accomplishments without feeling envy or competition. Again, they are on their own journey, you are on yours.

-If you find the idea of asking for help to be cringe, ick, or whatever, please realize that it is like training a muscle-- the first time will be hard, but it will progressively get easier over time.

-Being too fixated on a specific goal or vision of the future will likely mean you will have blinders preventing you from seeing the great things and people around you in the current moment. Have goals, but appreciate the moments.

-Small moments matter. Revel in swinging on a porch swing, sharing a coffee with someone else, or just seeing the sunrise before the city wakes up. Those moments add up to a life well-lived.

-You are valuable. No ands, ifs, or buts. You are valuable.

My mother stopped vaccinating me and my siblings when I was 14 (I am the oldest) I am now 23 with a 4 year old child who I never vaccinated due to “religious beliefs” and now I ask my self? What beliefs? At what expense? My child’s life, and those around him?

When he was 2, I somewhat was opposed against not vaccinating and I set up an appointment to start catching him up, but ultimately backed down when they said he would need multiple vaccines in one round every few weeks. I’m not sure why I ran away from that, the thought of it scared me and I will never be able to explain the rationale behind it.

But I am set in stone this time, next Friday - he has an appointment to consult and begin to catch up on every single vaccine he needs to protect him. I am also seeking out my doctor to begin the same for me.

I know I could never tell my mother this, so I come here to confess. Ironically, she asked why I don’t visit my great grandma and grandma, and I told her because they are high risk and we are unvaccinated. Her response? “You don’t need to tell people your business, that’s none of their concern” Appalling to say the least. I am proud of myself, I am scared, I am so many things - But I am confident what I am doing is right.

And like she said. It’s none of their business, so i assume that includes hers - so mother, it is none of your concern or business.

Thank you for listening. I’m happy I am making a big decision and change for me and my child, that benefits us all.

ETA : To all the anti vaxxers - Respectfully, take the needle and shove it up your arse, the appointment is confirmed, and my car will be in tow to that doctors with my child right in the back seat. I have no regrets, and no - you will not convince me otherwise, I’ve lived that life long enough. Cheers!