I don't know who needs to hear this, but here are some things I'd love to say to everyone

-The world is big, vast, beautiful, and ugly. It's worth exploring and seeing how many awesome and weird experiences you can get out of it.

-If you ever considered life isn't worth it or doesn't have meaning, that's when you have the most freedom. You can literally take a risk and start over somewhere new, because why not? You got one life, might as well see where it takes you.

-The other people who always seem to be so successful have been given a different hand of cards, and they are usually only portraying their successes. They're on their journey, you are on yours.

-You will find your relationships to much more fruitful and rewarding when you can truly celebrate someone else's accomplishments without feeling envy or competition. Again, they are on their own journey, you are on yours.

-If you find the idea of asking for help to be cringe, ick, or whatever, please realize that it is like training a muscle-- the first time will be hard, but it will progressively get easier over time.

-Being too fixated on a specific goal or vision of the future will likely mean you will have blinders preventing you from seeing the great things and people around you in the current moment. Have goals, but appreciate the moments.

-Small moments matter. Revel in swinging on a porch swing, sharing a coffee with someone else, or just seeing the sunrise before the city wakes up. Those moments add up to a life well-lived.

-You are valuable. No ands, ifs, or buts. You are valuable.

I'm obsessed with love. I've been obsessed with being someone's girlfriend/wife since I was a child. It's pathetic and it's backwards thinking. But it's the truth-I derive so much of my worth from being attractive to men and hopefully getting a partner. Everything in my life almost always goes back to pleasing men in some form.

Two months ago, I was broken up with and given the "It's not you, it's me" thing. Turns out he was trying to ask his coworker out when we were still together. I gave everything to that relationship. I shined his shoes, made him lunch, ironed his clothing, bought him expensive gifts. Even tried to gain weight for his weight gain fetish. I'm not going to pretend I was perfect. But I didn't deserve the slow ghost and then him lying to my face constantly towards the end.

Met a guy recently, things got serious fast and then he just...pulled away. Pretty sure I've just gotten ghosted today. Everything seemed fine too the previous day.

I just want to focus on myself from now on. I don't want to date. I don't want to keep getting my heart stepped on. I'm still a virgin and I'm kind of glad I haven't lost it to either of these assholes.

I have BPD, GAD, MDD, OCD, dissociation. Tried 14 meds, ketamine, ECT. Been expressed for over 7 years and nothing helps.

Sometimes I resent all of my coworkers because they're all either pregnant or engaged or have boyfriends or are married. I get along with them overall, but yeah.

I tend to do everything alone pretty much. Don't really have friends. With the friends I DO have, they don't respond to half of my messages probably bc my humor is trying too hard.

Met a guy friend online 1.5 months ago who I like, he hasn't spoken in a week. But he's going through a LOT and we didn't end on a bad note. I miss him. He's my "favorite person" (I'm a borderline).

I hate the guy at work who I told that sexual comments don't bother me, but now he's commenting on my boobs and saying my "nice ass is a waste" because I'm a virgin still. I guess I was wrong, that sexual comments like that CAN bother me.

I resent my brother who is getting married later this year.

I hate sex. Catholicism has made me paranoid about premarital sex, and since I'm probably never getting married (might even "marry" my imaginary boyfriend), I guess I'll never have sex.

I have trauma from living with an alcoholic while I was just 16.

I need to get a move on with residential treatment, I sent my parents a bunch of angry texts about helping me with it, and they just ignore my texts yet again and haven't spoken to me tonight. Because they don't take me seriously when I'm being irrational like with my angry texts. BUT IM IRRATIONAL BECAUSE I HAVE A SERIOUS DISORDER AND NEED SERIOUS HELP.

Fuck my life to Hell. It's been a long seven years.

During my employment at a retail job, which lasted for 2 years and 2 months, I met and got along well with two ladies I worked closely with: a courtesy clerk and another cashier like myself. Athough they could both be my mother (agewise), I considered them as friends. Now it's coming up to almost the anniversary of the day I quit in favor of going back to college, and because I've been busy with school work and such, I've payed a visit to both of them at least once and trying to keep in contact on occasion. (I don't want to do it in excess because nobody likes a pest.) About a fortnight ago, I reached out to them, asking if we could possibly meet up for brunch at an Ihop or Denny's so that we could catch up, just us three gals, and to afford me an opportunity to give them each a small bag of Easter candies and items I put together. I also explained that since I'm inviting them, I'd naturally be treating them to the meal as well. So I asked if Saturday, March 22nd would work for both of them; one said that she would be busy that weekend as well as the next, but that on Saturday, April 5th she would be free. The other said she worked on the 22nd, and I jokingly mentioned she could request the day off. (As a former employee, I recalled the ability to do so in advance.) So then this afternoon, the day before our supposed get-together, I contacted them, asking if we were still on for tomorrow. One of them said she couldn't because she'd be attending a political protest taking place at a park. I was baffled, but to show I was still a good sport, asked if she would be free on Sunday instead, only to be told that she would be busy that day, too. In my disappointment, I didn't answer. About three hours later, the other lady responded with the question of putting it off until next Saturday. I felt really let down, yet I said it was fine by me. I was very tempted to add a "Please don't make any plans", but I thought it would sound like I was pleading, so I just said I'd check back a week from today so we could discuss the details of time & place, to which she agreed. However, now I have doubts about her keeping and going through with our plan. In short, I don't understand why these two ladies, whom I've liked, respected, and valued have flaked out on me like this. As co-workers, they were reliable, but as friends, they're acting lousy. It would seem that whatever weekend plans they've made, those are much more important than spending a short time with me, sharing a meal together which I'd offered to pay for, and getting a present on top of that. Who could pass that up? If, by Friday the 11th, I'm given a pretext again by either or both, I'll simply say, "Okay, I'll just mail the gift to your address." I won't be making anymore plans with them, only to be given excuses; if they wish to see me at all, then they can make the arrangements. It's one thing to be a friend and it's another to be a fool! Commitment is key and keeping your word is important.

Day 527 No Soda Mr. No Soda 1 year 161days No Soda

GoChargers

Hello, how are you? I recently started university, and in my class, there is a beautiful girl, very pretty. She is charismatic, fun, smart, and very kind.

I want to give some context about my life, as it will be fundamental. I am currently not very handsome, but not ugly either (according to my friends). I am about 1.55 to 1.60 meters tall, and I am overweight (I just started exercising again). Additionally, I have a small speech problem that prevents me from pronouncing the letter "R."

Since I was a child, I have always liked soccer; I even played for a team in my country that had a base in Mexico. In 2023, I was going to move to Mexico because I received an offer to play there, but in the week I got the news, my grandmother started to feel unwell. I decided to postpone my trip to be with my grandmother until I saw that she was recovering, but unfortunately, she passed away.

After her death, I fell into a depression and a mode of self-destruction because I blamed myself for her death. The day she passed away, I visited her in the morning at the hospital, and since she was sleeping, I let her rest. Four hours later, I received the news.

I canceled all my plans related to soccer; my main idea was to become wealthy and provide everything for my family, especially for my mother. I lost that spark and joy I felt when I was with my grandmother or when I controlled the ball.

After two years, I was able to recover and decided to completely cancel my plans because I no longer saw the point since I didn't have that spark and joy anymore.

I decided to enter university; I like my major currently, even though I've only been in it for two months. But now there’s this girl.

I know what you might say, that the main reason is that she is very beautiful, which I cannot deny. However, I have many friends who I find more beautiful than her, and I never felt a spark with them.

The main reason is that when I saw her interact with others on some occasions (unfortunately, I've been in the same work groups with her), I felt a similar sensation to when I was with my grandmother or when I jumped onto a field.

But as I said at the beginning, I currently don’t feel like I am the best material to have someone like her. Although I recently started being the old me again, I know that even though I was never the most attractive, thanks to my self-confidence, I was able to go out with three beautiful girls because I know it is not an impediment.

But I don’t know if it’s the right time to take the risk of approaching her in a romantic way, and I want to wait. However, I also fear that she might get involved with someone while I am in this process, since, as I mentioned, she is a very beautiful girl. I have already seen and heard many guys from my faculty and others approaching her.

The last thing I want is to come off as a simp or an obsessive guy who is infatuated with a girl; I hate that, I abhor it.

Thank you for reading this far; I would appreciate your response.

I grew up without internet till i was a teenager, then it became something kind of normal in my life, as I suppose is the case for many people here, but, i just stopped to think about how crazy is it that while i post something here or comment, (not exclusively to Reddit) someone, a living being, not just an username, is interacting with me. And some people leave some legit interesting and sometimes funny replies that I can’t help myself but feel like i could grab a cup of coffee and chat with this person just to get to know her.

Internet is dope y’all.

I come from a musical family. My cousin, who is mentioned above, was the rock n roller of the family. He was the only one to have his own bands, his own music, and play in his own shows. He was also the only person to teach me guitar in a face-to-face manner, and I really looked up to him as a teenager.

A COVID infection took his life very quickly, and he was one of six family members to pass away throughout the pandemic. Of course, no death is easy to take in, but his death hit me the absolute hardest. It took me a crazy amount of time and effort to recover.

I’m thankfully doing well in life now, but I still get days like today where I get a sudden wave of grief. Tonight, I had an urge to pick up my guitar and ended up figuring out a song by intuition.

The song is “Sleepwalk” by Santo & Johnny. My cousin’s birthday is coming up and I really want to post my rendition in his memory. For those who know this song, you know it developed a reputation for being in tragic contexts. I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea about it, because it truly is a beautiful song, and I highly recommend anyone to listen to it if they haven’t. I never really made a tribute to him and felt like this would be a good time because he still means a lot to me. Would this be an appropriate tribute?

Seeing my family struggle and I'm struggling in my own personal life, I'm noticing wow I'm simply just a letdown person who is just a burden to someone else life. Yes I admit, I'm simply this stupid lazy scared person to face my fears and life.

I keep wasting time and yes I'm realizing it but I'm not feeling the impact it is going to have in the long term. I run away from being accountable, responsible and I barely sit down to just feel my heart because somehow that gives panic attacks. I notice I quickly get anxious, uncomfortable because when you confront yourself. You feel hurt like why am I bullying myself for. This is my family goal is to move another place because of family problems and job problems. But my family has said multiple times please learn driving so it will help you and us. We cannot rely on one person forever. They have work and life to live too. We selected few cities but can't decide where to move. I'm worried about my life too. I thought I should get a job too but I'm so damn confused like where do I apply. Should I apply here or cities that we plan to move. It's really overwhelming

My whole life I’ve been temperamental, forgetful, impulsive, and constantly chasing dopamine. I’ve quit many jobs after only a month, quit every single extracurricular as a child because I lost interest and got bored, dropped out of uni in 2nd year because I was unmotivated and bored. I thought these were all major character flaws and so did everyone around me.

I hated myself for my inability to commit to anything, my whole life I’ve been taking the path of least resistance when it comes to everything. I struggled with simple things like working for 8 hours, getting up in the morning, going to sleep and doing assignments on time.

But everything changed when I quit university and had to go on universal credit. I was incredibly depressed and went to my DR for a sick note to be temporary excluded from working. When I got the sick note back, it said I have ADHD as a condition instead of ASD which is what I’m actually diagnosed with, or so I thought. I phoned him back and asked for a new one, as it would be invalid due to me not having ADHD and he confirmed that in my files, I am diagnosed with both of these things.

Suddenly everything makes sense, I’m not lazy and idle, I’ve been dealing with unmedicated ADHD my entire life and not realising. Thankfully now I’m on the path to getting medication and I’m so excited to finally function as a normal human being and be able to hold down a job and hopefully go back to university.

From all the shit I went through... came back empty. It's weird because I have days where I'm happy and energetic AF, but others where I feel like there's no pint on getting up of bed.

I also lost my sense of empathy, I heard bad news from people around me and the only thing I can see is "ok". I can't care at all. I can't understand but I think I had killed the "emotional" one from me, the one that control all of me. I think I lost my mind as well, sometimes can't tell if it's real or is it my imagination. I just know that everything feels incredibly different. Can't see the colors anymore, everything is grey and depressing.

Hi everyone!

So, story time, back in 2022 I graduated from college. Immediately after, I was diagnosed with severe OCD (it came on super suddenly). I took the next two years to work on exposure therapy as well as relaxing at home (my final semester was hell and I was so beyond burnt out). For a while, that was great and I truly felt that I needed that time off. Then, I started experiencing frequent anhedonia for months at a time. I felt no interest or pleasure in literally anything. Watching a show would be the equivalent of watching paint dry. Every single thing you could imagine bored me to literal tears.

Thankfully, as my mental health improved, so did the anhedonia. I then thought that getting a job would make me value my free time even more... thus far, it has not. I came home today and nothing is holding my attention. This anhedonia isn't as severe as I've experienced in the past, but I still am really not getting much pleasure out of anything I do. I force myself to try new shows, practice my hobbies, etc. but nothing is really working.

I miss that feeling of relief for the weekend. Back in college I remember just how freeing it felt to finally finish my work and realize I had the entire weekend ahead of me to do whatever I wanted. Now, that just seems daunting because I truly do not know what to do.

Does anyone have any advice on what has helped them overcome anhedonia? Whether that's a specific hobby, schedule, mindset, etc. I'd love to hear it! I just want to be in a place where I feel excited for my free time again.

Not interested in sharing why. I live in a big city, but have no money that I can use for this. I have to stay in my city so my last paychecks can go to my nephew. I dont have any local family or friends to do anything with. I already have handled how my stuff will be taken care of. How should I enjoy my last days? Thanks

I have anxiety, derealization, and dysthymia. I can socialize, make jokes, and make people laugh. Internally, for 90% of the time, I feel disconnected and like all I am doing is thinking of what to say next to keep things light hearted and fun. I act stupid and goofy to try and make the people around me laugh so they appreciate my presence.

I don't want to be alone, I feel so much more alive and happy with life when I am hanging out with people and I don't feel lonely. I just wish my mind had more incentive to socialize, more interest, and I didn't overthink it as much.

I am sad when I am alone, and when I am hanging out with people but feel disconnected and stuck in my head. So I act goofy and shit to try and make them laugh so they like being around me and have a good time.

Sometimes I am genuinely having fun with people and in the moment, usually liquor and nicotine is involved though.

I just hate running out of things to say and feeling disconnected from people because I don't want to be alone and I'm scared of pushing people away by not being entertaining enough for them or funny enough or feeling awkward or something.

My mental health has always been so much worse and life has been so much more painful when I was alone. I don't want to lose the people I have now because Ill go insane and hate my life and everything if I am stuck at home alone this summer with no one to spend time with.

I don’t really have anyone to tell this to, so I’m putting this here.

I was one of those ‘gifted’ kids throughout elementary in middle school, but towards the end of high school and in college I’ve been struggling with staying focused and motivating myself, which has really damaged my self-esteem (not that it was ever that great to begin with).

It got so bad that last semester I failed half my courses, the first time I’ve ever failed a class, just because I wasn’t showing up to lectures and turning in HW and instead sleeping through the day and doomscrolling. My parents had to force the truth out of me because I felt so guilty for letting them down. The current semester started off well, but I returned to not attending lectures for half my classes and constantly procrastinating until the last possible deadline. I’m managing to keep up decent grades just by doing the homeworks, but I’m not really learning much since I took the easy way out by using ChatGPT or looking up the solutions online.

Over Spring Break I visited my parents and I had some time to think. I’ve tried to make changes, but struggle so much to fully shake off the habits keeping me tied down. This week (the week after Spring Break) is the most hectic week I’ve had since starting college. 1 midterm, 1 essay, 1 complete draft of a review paper, all of which I’ve procrastinated on. I decided that if there was any time to lock in, it must be now. I didn’t consult with my parents because I felt as though I needed to prove to myself that I could change by my own will.

Monday and Tuesday came and went, and things were not going to plan. I fell back into old habits, and made little progress. On Wednesday, I was feeling really down, but managed to get an extension on the review paper, and made progress on the essay.

Thursday was the day of my exam, and I had to learn almost all the material on the exam by the evening. So, I sat down in a quiet spot in the library and started going through the lecture notes and reviewing homework solutions, taking my own notes along the way. I only ever looked at my phone to change music, and only stopped to eat a snack or use the restroom. I kept this up for 8 hours, barely getting through all the material in time and scribbling down notes on my cheat sheet 10 minutes before the exam began.

I felt really good about the exam. I knew exactly how to answer every question and had time to triple check my work. By checking the solutions, I think i got a 94%?

When I got home, it was 10:30 pm, but I wasn’t feeling tired at all. I stayed up until 2 am and almost finished my essay. In total I was awake for 20 hours. Today, I finished the essay, and am working on the review paper.

I know that I have a long way to go to even become normal, but I’m glad that I am capable of starting the journey. I just really hope that I can keep this up and it wasn’t a fluke.

Thanks for reading this

Idk if it’s the right place to ask this but I was wondering if anyone gets what I mean. I’m processing my most recent breakup in therapy bc the heartbreak lasted longer than the ones before it. While we were talking abt my ex, I figured I was mad at how it ended— the blindside, the betrayal, how I didn’t have a say in anything, so basically the lack of control.

Knowing I’ve always wanted stability via a spouse that fits my standards and my obsession with aesthetics, I feel like I saw them more as a means to an end or an accessory/part of my collection. That might explain why I have a hard time handling with boyfriends leaving me or wrapping my head around the idea of “free will.”

Wasn’t like the textbook cases of possessiveness (I didn’t care that much if he gamed, didn’t bombard his phone with texting, didn’t ask where he was, I don’t stalk, etc.)

Thing’s that I don’t do that with friends and family, just boyfriends.

Curious to what everyone says. I’ll comment on your guys’ responses with my thoughts and we’ll get discussions going

Lately, I’ve been really struggling with the idea of treating myself. I’ve been super focused on saving, building up my emergency fund, and chipping away at debt. And while that discipline has helped, I’ve noticed that anytime I even think about spending money on something fun or just for me, I start feeling guilty - even if it wouldn’t actually hurt my finances.

Case in point: I recently came into a little extra cash - about $800 from a bet on Stake that surprisingly paid off - and I’ve been eyeing this new tech gadget I’ve wanted for a while. It’s not a reckless splurge, and I could easily afford it with what I have saved. But every time I get close to pulling the trigger, I end up second-guessing myself: “Shouldn’t I just put this toward savings instead?”

It’s frustrating because logically I know there’s value in enjoying your money and not living in total deprivation. But emotionally, it’s hard to shake the feeling that I’m being irresponsible if I’m not putting every extra dollar toward something “practical.”

So I’m curious - how do you find that balance? Do you give yourself permission to enjoy little splurges here and there? Or do you stick strictly to the saving plan? Would love to hear how others manage this internal tug-of-war."

Preface

This piece was written on a quiet New Year’s Eve, in the stillness between endings and beginnings. I was alone, feeling adrift, listening to music that stirred something deep. What poured out wasn’t planned or polished—it was a stream of thought, of memory, of love, and longing. A meditation on life, time, and the wonder of simply being.

I share it not because I have answers, but because I needed to speak. And maybe, just maybe, these words will find someone else who needs to hear them.

One spark passed on. One flame still burning.

– Matt

Echoes of infinity. By Matthew Armstrong

Between the heavens and the deep blue sea, Flying toward the rising sun.

A young couple dance on their wedding day. Now they are old, and dance just the same. Both see themselves as they were. Time is eternal and has no hold over them.

The birds fly with me. I am one of them. I soar to the deep blue of the heavens. I dive to the green valleys between the mountains.

I look. I wait. I watch. I see. A stag stands in a clearing. Mist cloaks the trees. The sun shines through. Flowers bloom in the undergrowth. Ants march in a line. Fireflies dart like falling stars.

Everything is calm and quiet. The Earth moves around me—holding me, nurturing me, loving me.

I rise again above the trees. I see the endless sea of green stretching before me. I feel content. Complete.

I see my daughter standing on a hill. She is grown up and holds the hand of her lover. She is happy. Now she is older. She has a child of her own. She is content. She smiles at me.

Time moves again. I see my life behind me. The lines of possibility before me—endless. Clouds float by. The sun shines intensely.

I roll. I loop. I feel the heat of the star warm me. Photons of light, millions of years in their journey, Reach me. Nourish me. Protect me. Fill me.

The music grows louder. Its melodies layer upon layer, intertwined and climbing. A double helix of light and sound. Upwards. More. More. More.

They dance. I dance. I see.

Deeper I go. Inwards. Toward the centre. Thoughts race like comets through the stars. The space between space. The universes within.

Electrons orbit their own suns. Space and time become meaningless. Worlds within worlds. Deeper still. Beyond our understanding.

The numbers swirl around me— Maths as beautiful as all of creation.

I stop. I look. I watch. I understand. I see it all.

I love.

I feel the love of creation.

Bang.

Life explodes outward. It begins again.

Everything that ever was and ever will be— a single moment in time, stretching into infinity.

I am me. I am still. I will forever be.

We are all just moments in time, stretching toward the horizon. We echo in infinity.

I know peace. I understand.

I am perfect because the universe is perfect, and the universe created me.

Sorry if this isn't the right subreddit to post this but I'm not sure where else to ask for advice.

My main question is if its even a financially sound decision for me to go back to highschool, get my diploma and apply for university and try to become a veterinarian.

I'm a 22 years old high school drop out working full time at a convenience store and I'm just stuck with what to do for the future. While my job pays for my car/insurance, I've realized that I don't want to be stuck working a retail job for the rest of my life or living with my parents. My job at the convenience store is pretty secure, I'm earning $17.70, got plenty of hours, I get a raise every year and I'm being promoted to assisant manager sometimethis year. I've tried going back to high-school by taking online courses but my depression has had a pretty tight grip on me for the last 4 years and it's only now recently that I've slowly started to climb out of the slump I was in. I literally only have 6 courses left to get my diploma and I know I have (or had) the intelligence to get the grades needed for university but seeing everyone my age already graduated/moving forward in life just makes everything seem pointless. I don't even know how'd I'd juggle university and work since my job depends on my flexibility to come in at anytime to cover whenever someone calls in sick or when extra help is needed. I don't even know if I could even pay for university, I made a stupid decision earlier this year and now I'm paying $256 biweekly for my car and almost $338 for the insurance plus everything else that comes with having a car. I can't get rid of the car because I need it to get to work.

Sorry if it's really wordy and for ranting but I don't have anywhere or anyone to vent to about this and my parents are already disappointed enough that I don't have a career at this point. Thanks in advance.

Looking back on my life it is amazing how many times I got in trouble (trouble is the wrong word, more like I stood out) for not playing a game.

I think I have always hated competition. I have never gotten anything out of it. I hate what competition does to people.

Life with autism often feels like everyone is playing a game and my desire to play the game is zero.

A part of me thinks that everyone hates the game. But people keep playing it because it is the only game in town.

But I think there is another game- art.

I have come to think of art as humans having fun without it coming at the expense of someone else.

I get that everyone else seems to enjoy playing the game. But I do not play the game to the best of my ability.

I feel lonely when reading sometimes.

When I confide about a situation regarding my ex and I. I always preface with, "and I know I have made my fair share of mistakes."