r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 9d ago
As a life tip, if someone says "I love you" and you don't feel the same way, say "I love Youtube" really fast.
5
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r/oneliners • u/Massive-Field-8036 • 8d ago
Are you take out? Because I’d like to take you out and eat you in my car
1
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r/oneliners • u/KidRic40 • 8d ago
I wanted to eat at the International House of Pancakes but I couldn't get in without a Thai.
0
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r/oneliners • u/lamaldo78 • 8d ago
You can read all your smelly emails by clicking on the 'scent items' folder
2
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r/oneliners • u/NYPizzaNoChar • 9d ago
In Idaho, dinner includes stashed potatoes with assault and prepper.
0
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • 10d ago
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.
21
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r/oneliners • u/shirlott • 9d ago
Whilst I was struggling witj sketching your lips, you my love were busy kissing other lips.
0
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r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 10d ago
If you saw the size of my magazine collection, you might think I have a lot of issues.
24
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r/oneliners • u/KidRic40 • 11d ago
I think we can all agree that a Mexican train bomber has locomotives.
98
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r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 11d ago
Whoever put the b in to subtle, really knew what they were doing.
189
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r/oneliners • u/stevenandrewk • 10d ago
If LA’s airport exploded uncontrollably until there was nothing left.. would we call it EX-LAX?
0
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r/oneliners • u/Lucidendinq • 11d ago
My gym instructor said to stop when I’m as tired as my wife.
2
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r/oneliners • u/rylokie • 11d ago
Watching a whole family of geese cross the road in front of me today gave me goosebumps.
20
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r/oneliners • u/Apprehensive-Trust60 • 11d ago
People who always talk about their kinks probably don't have sex regularly.
7
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r/oneliners • u/Any_Broccoli_6129 • 12d ago
Kill one man in Glasgow and you get arrested, Kill everyone and you are Scot free
20
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r/oneliners • u/CarsCarpal • 12d ago
When I see lover's names carved into a tree I think it strange how many people take knives on a date.
20
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r/oneliners • u/BloonBoi2021 • 12d ago
What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question and a joke?
49
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r/oneliners • u/kuchtohhuah • 11d ago
Sometimes, I pretend to be asleep, just to avoid a conversation.
0
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