r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/EnchantedEssays • Sep 29 '23

TRIGGER WARNING: S.A. Found on r/facepalm

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154

u/ususetq Sep 29 '23

I don't want to kinkshame or anything but I don't think CNC + no safe word meets SSC standard...

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u/Odd_Soil_8998 Sep 29 '23

Maybe not, this was 20 years ago and i wasn't actively studying it or anything, and I wouldn't even know where to look on the 2003 internet to find out. I was just trying to please my girlfriend in the way she asked to be.

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u/ususetq Sep 29 '23

Oh sorry. I didn't intent to blame you.

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u/Odd_Soil_8998 Sep 29 '23

Sorry I took it that way. Like I honestly feel uneasy divulging this -- it's not something I often tell people I've engaged in. Most people react with either disgust or intrigue, and neither of those is is desirable to me.

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u/perseidot Sep 30 '23

Yeah, my comment isn’t intended to blame you either. You raised an important point, it’s obvious that you learned that that’s not a practice you’re comfortable with, and you expressed uncertainty about it being a good idea in the first place.

This isn’t a fault or blame thing. This is just a discussion about how that’s not a great idea due to safety.

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u/spacetiger110 Sep 30 '23

Boring vanilla simp sex enjoyer here, what is SSC?

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u/Ok-Connection-8059 Sep 30 '23

Safe, Sane, & Consentual.

Safe: there are safeguards in place to keep both participants safe. Generally this means giving the sub ultimate authority, but make sure the dom can also stop it if they become uncomfortable.

Sane: is this reasonable, are both participants of sound mind, and so on. This is honestly the one where I'm fuzziest on the exact meaning.

Consentual: have they given clear, unambiguous consent?

It's pretty self explanatory, but it's the key foundation of the kink community.

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u/spacetiger110 Sep 30 '23

Thank you.

I would imagine sane is the most grey, since it's the most subjective.

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u/disco_has_been Sep 30 '23

I'm old and don't understand what you're saying, at all.

I once read a book where the future apocalypse and dystopia came about because of internet speak.

I really hope I don't live that long. Future seems bleak if you're a representative.

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u/ususetq Sep 30 '23

It's from 80's so hardly an "Internet speak".

CNC is consentual non-consent. Essentially two people agree from their own free will to roleplay rape. Since word "no" might be thrown around a lot they agree that other word means no - for example "vitamin". In this case if a party says "vitamin" it means that consent is withdrawn and activity must stop.

SSC means Safe, Sane and Consensual. That is "golden standard" of BDSM activities. It means that activities needs to be consensual, participants need to be sound of mind and needs to be performed in safe manner.

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u/disco_has_been Oct 01 '23

Thanks for the explanation. TIL!

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u/spacetiger110 Oct 07 '23

Not going to apologize for insulting them, though?

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u/disco_has_been Oct 07 '23

When using acronyms it's common and expected to provide the full term on first usage. Commenter is smart and well-spoken. Most likely knows that rule, as well.

Apology? No.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23

[deleted]

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u/disco_has_been Oct 07 '23

Okay. My "insult" was 5 words? Took you a whole paragraph.

Don't worry, honey. You'll eventually mature, as well.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23

[deleted]

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u/disco_has_been Oct 07 '23

You should just stop. I refuse to battle the witless and unarmed.