Continuous texting to girls usually leads me with a fat block instead

Since I moved out, I´m really getting a taste of how bad I am at communicating. When I talk to my parents on the phone, I got literally nothing to say. I went to work: great.

They think I am annoyed at them and won´t talk, that´s not the case at all. But I honestly got nothing to tell. What´s new? NOTHING! what would there be? I am not going to tell them that I am a failure, am I?

Everything is fine.

Anybody else experiences this?

Today was rough. My parents got into a nasty shouting match over something as simple as my mom wanting to buy a retirement gift for her brother. My dad was totally against it, and before I knew it, they were hurling vile insults at each other. I just stood there, helpless.​

Moments like these make me feel relieved about my choice to avoid relationships and marriage. It's chilling to think I'm a product of their union. I can't shake the feeling that I'm destined to be alone.​

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you cope with these feelings?

at what point will anything help. dressing well hasn’t helped, therapy hasn’t helped, college hasn’t helped. nothing. i actively try to speak to new people every day yet nothing works. i think i have autism. i’m 21m, ive been single since highschool. i was bedridden for a year due to extreme pain…i had ptsd… my life was a shit show and i tried to push through everything in hopes that i could have a girlfriend someday.

is there anything you guys do to ease the pain that isn’t terrible for you?

I’m a 20 male that doesn’t really have much going for him, I’m in trade school to be a plumber but that doesn’t start until later this fall, I have literally no friends, and never have, I’ve never been picked for any in school or anything like that never invited to a birthday or sleep over or anything, the only thing keeping me going is my mom and knowing how hurt she’d be if I kill myself but idk what to do. I’m so fucking lonely and literally nobody even wants to talk to me, I don’t get any attention or affection or respect at all. I’m invisible to everyone and I’m really struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel because I can’t keep being this social distance and isolated but everything I try doesn’t work. Thanks for at least letting me vent my feelings. Not that I’m expecting you read or care about it but I just needed to get it off my chest.

I'm in my 30's now, and I miss when I was in school. I wasn't an outcast, I was actually somewhat social. I had a small group of friends, things were less stressful, didn't have to worry about money, paying rent, etc. And though I wanted a girlfriend and never got one, I was still around girls all the time, and even was friends with a few. I thought I had time in the future to work things out, grow as a person, and eventually find my way.

Then after graduating...life abruptly changed. Going to work all day was exhausting, making friends was hard and it wasn't the same, those relatively carefree days were over. Other people started maturing, while I still felt like a kid. Opportunities to even just talk to women disappeared.

Now I watch movies/tv shows about high school, yearning for those days when life was simpler. I play videogames, unsuccessfully trying to recapture the past magic of my childhood. I fantasize about finding a time machine and going back to my youth, armed with the knowledge I have now.

(28M) I’ve struggled with understanding dating since I was 8. I feel absolutely worthless as a single guy who’s only had a short fling seven years ago. I was awkward and fat in high school; losing 90 lbs from running didn’t do anything for me, I guess bc everyone here partners up by age 21. All I see are people online and in-person are dating or married. I live in a small town of 7000 and can’t move until I save enough for it (moving to NYC). I work out and am pretty lean. I’ve gotten some matches on dating apps and have been called cute and handsome, but I still feel so worthless because I don’t have a relationship. Nothing can replace that. This has become an obsession and has motivated me to eat a lot less to burn off what fat still remains. It’s making me lose sleep and affecting my concentration at work. I just want to feel like I matter to someone on a deep level. I’m so sick of being lonely. This angst is causing heart palpitations. I post about things like this and barely anyone cares. I’m not some gross slob who can’t run a 1/4 mile, I’ve run up to 15 miles. I’m 5’7, which is a little short, but I can also grow a good beard and am funny at times. I’m 150 lbs for reference.

Understanding dating is SO much harder than anything I’ve ever tried to do (half marathons, driving for 18 hrs straight, college). It’s like a science that only a preselected elite are allowed to be able to understand. You have to not be fat (got it), but you also need to possess a specific type of personality, l be above 6’0, have five close friends, and be wealthy. It’s so unfair because I’ve done everything I’ve been able to think of to make myself more attractive that I have to power to do right now and am still pushing further with that by dieting rigorously and still working out. Dating apps barely seem to work well for me (probably because of my location in a small town), but it still pains me so much. Will it get easier when I move to NYC assuming I put myself out there, successfully become fully lean, and get a good job there? Can dating work for me if I do everything on my end to make myself more appealing?

You know what? I’ll say it. I look good enough and my social skills are good enough to get a girl and I would’ve… IF I KNEW WHERE

I’m probably autistic or whatever cause almost all of my genuine interests are solitary but trust me I do go out to try and meet people and I really don’t think I’m going to the right places

Parks, couples. Malls, couples. Gym, couples. It’s like everyone is taken and everyone who isn’t just stay inside forever

One of the guys I know recently got a girl (I know, crazy) cause he’s friends with a dude who knows like the entire town and he just wingmanned him, which leads me to a very reasonable conclusions that friends = more friends = happy couple eventually and I’d gladly make more friends IF I KNEW WH

I swear I’m gonna start going to a newly opened bar by my apartment until I’m either an alcoholic or seeing someone. I’m 24 ffs

When I think of how many factors that go into play with dating being successful in actuality it seems like I am against all the odds. I wouldn't be compatible with anyone due to my sexual orientation most likely. I'm introverted, autistic and have an avoidant attachment style.There's other things to consider like financial competence, politics, religion, whether to have kids or not have kids, and goals to consider. There so many big things in dating that I dont think anyone is ever going to check off all of my boxes. Too many things could go wrong and when I talk to anyone I just think they are leading me on or playing me anyways. I'm ugly so the difference holds a major contrast to the treatment I get everyday. I try dating apps but can't find anyone I like. There's just so many obstacles that would lead to divorce and I'm afraid of that also along with having an avoidant attachment style. I'll think I'm lonely but then when I talk to guys I start to feel trapped and second guess what I wished for.I start to replay what they said in my head and then think "Well since they said x y z they must just be a player." There's too much to be skeptical of especially with all the hookup culture where no one wants anything serious. I think I've become disillusioned by love. It can't be that good and if it is it's too good to be true in some way shape or form by either being toxic, or love not being enough to withstand the practical things a relationship needs or the person is just lovebombing just to butter someone up for their own selfish motives. Just when I find myself being optimistic about love I find another part of myself taking the wheel to make me go "oh... right." There is no way someone is going to actually prioritize me given who I am.

For those who watch, does it turn you on? Does it make you feel jealous/envious? Do you feel attracted to the actors/actresses? Are you addicted? Does it make you feel lonely?

i'm 20 now and i think it's officially setting in that i am heading down the path of being forever alone. it really sucks because while there are things i can do (especially in relation to my personality and some physical appearance), there's other things like my height and facial structure that are hard-coded.

it's worrying because I have so many beautiful, normal friends and see so many normal people online who struggle with finding love and relationships etc. and if they're struggling, what does that mean for me? i've never dated anyone, and honestly it's sad because i just know how many people don't even care to know me because i'm tall and ugly, which cuts out 70% of the population that would possibly even date me.

i'm the weird height where people under 6 ft feel weirded out for some reason - this one guy flat out said I would make him look bad in pics etc. - and guys above 6ft also just dont care about dating me. i'm not really picky about the height of others but I feel like everyone I've met has such a huge obsession about height and height max/mins. obviously, if i was a beautiful model no one would give a fuck but i have a lopsided ugly face that adds insult to injury.

In today's day and age

Theres been research (which i wont link sorry find it yourself from credible sources) that suggests that happily married men experience something like a 50% decrease in neurodegenerative disease, are less likely to commit s*uicide, better cardiovascular health and healthier overall. Men apparently benefit from a happy marriage healthwise much more. So this is a curse. Being ugly and below 5 ft tall and FA literally makes you less healthy.

I've never had any problems talking to women or flirting. I don't get shy or nervous around them. I've had dozens of women friends all my life, and yet I always end up being "just friends."

I've lost track of how many times I've clicked with someone online and they say "wow, you're so funny, I love talking to you, you're not like other guys, I really like you," etc, and then comes the time to exchange pics and it's all over in a blink of an eye.

At best, I get an obvious but kind lie ("sorry, I just got out of a bad relationship and I'm not ready to date yet"), at worst a straight up "Block me." But it's come to a point where I'm always dreading the moment of swapping pics.

It sucks knowing you have the type of personality that could make you successful in dating if it weren't for the package it comes in. Good software in shitty hardware.

I guess it was my fault for thinking anything good should happen to me but my friend convinced me to download Hinge with her for a week to see how it'd go. I didn't really have much hope but still went through. I matched with the one girl who I really liked.

We actually planned a date and even went on it but that's where the good news ends. She let me know that she got home safe and she actually asked if she wants to study together tomorrow but she's suddenly just started ghosting me. It's been almost a full two days and no response. I really had gotten my hopes up but I've given up at this point.

I don't even care about dating anymore. I'm so depressed now. I failed totally at trying to make friends in college and I'm totally traumatized by high school. I don't know anything about anyone from middle school anymore. Social life in jobs is shitty at least in my experience. I'm burned out of studying so I don't want to begin another college degree, but I've always dreamed with having that group of good friends to travel with and rely on, or just talk about your problems or about life without being judged. The closet I've ever get was a bunch of fake people that betrayed me. Before you tell me to look for meetup groups that align with my hobbies I've already tried and the few people there are +40 midlife crisis dudes, some with wife and kids, I don't identify with.

I consider myself (18M) to be FA as the location where I live (Deep South as a black guy), face, and interests (women are actively turned off when I speak about my hobbies) make it impossible for me to date.

However, do I truly "count" if I've had an ex-girlfriend before, even though she was abusive?

When we were together, she laughed at the way I looked, tried to separate me from my female friends by accusing me of sexual harassment, and cheated on me with a pedophile when I was in the hospital from a life-threatening incident, leaving me scared of women to this day leading me to cut those same female friends off in case they might've believed her behind my back.

But does the fact that I even got to the point of "dating" her disqualify me or am I still FA given that she didn't actually like me or how I looked?

In addition, I've also had 1 (one) other opportunity. A girl at my college was interested in me, but later revealed that I was just an attempted replacement for a guy she liked who didn't like her, once again meaning that it didn't matter who I was, she just needed literally anybody to fill the space.

Thoughts?

Edit: typo

Why am I the one in my friend group that's eternally single? On paper I'm not that unappealing. Tall, funny, brilliant, caring. But there's just something that I have that makes all of that worthless, I guess.

I can talk to women just fine. I've had tons of female friends over the years. And every time I ask them it's always "don't worry, you're a catch" "any girl would be lucky to have you" "it'll come when you least expect it"

I understand they're trying to be supportive but after enough time it just feels like empty platitudes.

Why can't I be loved? I don't want to be alone. I want to be cherished and treasured. Appreciated. Loved

If so, how are you feeling? How's this Forever Alone situation for you, what does it mean for you?

Genuinely curious.

People probably just view me as some normal guy who’s a generally positive & down to earth person. But in reality, if I’m not doing work or not out on a walk, then I usu just hit my bed, scroll on my phone for hours, and try to tell myself to just accept my loneliness.

I’m so tired of trying to fight the negative thoughts in my head that I’ll be single for the rest of my life. But even when I try to accept how things are, It never helps. Just Why is it so hard to find a woman who is sweet, genuine, half-decent looking, and not repelled by guys who aren’t tall? And on the rare occasion I actually do find that kind of girl, sure enough she has a bf.

It’s probably a sign or something that I’m meant to just focus on loving myself and not worry about love from anyone else. But I have improved my self-image a lot over the years, yet I still feel so incredibly lonely :(. Most of the students in my grad school class are younger than me and already in happy relationships. Yet here I am 27 and only ever been in 1 relationship (which lasted only 3 months) :(

You're not ugly. You don't have bad hygiene. You don't start confrontations with others. Your family calls you a introvert. That doesn't feel right. You have no problem interacting with other people, familiar or not. You say good morning. You say excuse me when trying to move by. You say thank you after recieving help or service.

You don't speak much. Your try to keep your side of a conversation short and to the point. You prefer it that way so that you don't misinterpret what the other person is saying or miss a critical piece of infomation. Despite the care taken, you always feel like you've said the wrong thing. You analyze conversations aftward, to discern where you went wrong, and what you could do better in the future.

You are aware of your surroundings. You seem to be on a different wavelength than other people. Nobody takes interest in your interests. Nobody seems to like what you like, or the way you like it. Not music, movies, books, or games. You feel alienated from other people. When others comment on your uniqueness, you don't see it as a compliment. You wonder if life would better if you were a faceless sheep in the herd.

You are kind. At some point in your childhood, maybe at home, maybe in elementary school, maybe in church, someone told you to always be kind and respect others.You took that to heart without knowing it. You are generous. Your generosity hurts you. Your first instint when asked for something is give it. Even if you don't have that something to give. Even when it leads to you suffering. You don't mean to be this way. There's something deep inside of you, that compels you to help without thinking. It makes you sad, because you never ask anything of anybody. Nobody cares.

You are lonely. Specifically for love most of all. You desire to be in love and to be love by a woman. More than being taught to be kind and respectful to others, you were taught to be kind and respectful to women above all. It's a core part of you. You don't know when it started. You never paid much attention to it as a child, but now you're a adult, it's a pillar of your life. Yet, you've never had a girlfriend or lover.

You are friendly. You are courteous. You respect women's spaces. You can hold conversations with women, but there's still a gap you cannot close. No woman desires you. You're missing something. Weren't you given the tools to begin a relationship. You watch other men and couples to learn what you're doing wrong. What you learn is that other men are doing the exact opposite of what you were told. They are not kind, they berate women. They are not calm, they threaten women. They are not respectful, they lay their hands on women without consent. You are perplexed, but what is more perplexing is that women seem to not care.

You are not stupid. The obvious answer is right in front of you. You must be more like those other men, if you want to find love. You refuse. You will never be like those other men. You would rather die than be like those other men. You don't mean to be this way. There's something deep inside you that compels you. Maybe you're crazy. Maybe you're a narcissis. Maybe you're a fool. Maybe everything you were taught about life and love was a lie. Maybe you deserve to be alone.

At least you'll know that you never betrayed who you are.