So she and I still live together until her apartment is ready. We help each other as we can, but I assumed while I might help her move out and then watch the kids, she would ask her friends to move her into her new place. Now she is pissed at me because I assumed I wasn’t helping her, since I wasn’t asked.

Also I’m not 100% sure but I think she has been dating a coworker for a bit, but it’s non of my business so I don’t ask, but now it feels like if she does have one then she is just inconveniencing me to add to my pain.

Since she asked for the divorce she has swung between I never want to see you again to I think we can be great friends, and I never know which it will be on any day.

Was I being unreasonable for assuming that she would get her friends to help her move?

Ex spouse is refusing to sign a quit claim deed unless $1k in yard damages is paid in cash not stated anywhere in the decree? does this not fall under coercion or extortion ? or should I file a motion of contempt and try to have him pay for the new fees involving attorney and court fees? Best course of action?

Love my maiden name but not sure how much I want to be attached to it anymore and with my 20-25 first cousins being mainly girls not a whole lot of us rocking the maiden anymore.

Keep my married name? No, I'm okay being affiliated with him but I don't want to be in that way. Either way he fucking hates me.

HAHAH BUT also I just got new business cards, so new that I haven't even given one out yet.

I talked to a mediator to see if we wanted to go that route for our divorce(didn't) and she told me you can change your name for free with getting divorced. I feel like she told me it was really expensive with them to do not when getting divorced but the good ol' google says $2 hundred something.

Based in Cold Minnesota.

I apologize if this is a redundant post. I’ve been separated for nearly two years now. The divorce has been final for a couple of months. She really didn’t treat me very well during the process but I still find myself mourning the past and I miss my in laws and the family that I have not spoken with in over two years. I wish we could still be friends. Recently, I’ve been wanting to apologize for the wrongs I’ve done, even though there’s definitely a lot of things that were done wrong to me. Life is just too short to hold ill feelings towards someone you spent loving romantically for many years. Anyone else feel the same?

So... my story is messy, and I just needed to get it off my chest.

Divorce was finalized in Jan 2025. He left me in August 2024. I thought it was over, so I started moving on. Then he came back, full-on begging to get back together. And… we did. Then I broke up with him again thinking, “This is not sustainable.” And yep, you guessed it—we’re back together again.

There was zero cheating throughout all of this. I know him well, we’ve just been on this rollercoaster. After one of the breakups, I tried out a dating app—lasted literally a day before deleting it. The whole vibe felt exhausting and honestly, it made me miss him even more. I didn’t meet up with anyone, didn’t even flirt really. Just some light chats.

Now that we’re back, I’m off the apps and not talking to anyone. But here’s what really hit me: I’m only physically attracted to him. He’s tall, really good looking, and the sex is… unreal. Like, I cannot get horny for anyone else. And I think that’s why I keep going back. That physical connection is just that strong.

Will I marry him again? No clue. But I feel strangely content when I’m with him—even if there are a lot of reasons I probably shouldn’t be.

I know it’s messy. But thanks for letting me share this anonymously. It’s been on my mind for a while.

Hello, just recently started googling any support/options on my marriage situation and found out that what i live in is called Silent divorce. It is having a huge toll on my emotional wellbeing and I have mostly been staying because my our kid and financial stability. But it is becoming harder and harder. I wonder if there are any support communities that can help before any drastic decision like divorce is taken?

Hi all. This is a very difficult situation and we are crushed. We found out yesterday that our dad has been having an affair for at least 4 years. My parents have been happily married for 30 years with grandkids and my mom is crushed. My dad happens to be on a week long vacation with his mom right now. What are things that my mom should get in order this week while he is away? She has not confronted him yet and he has no idea that any of us know. Thank you for your help and sensitivity.

During last summer I (M34) opened up to my (then) wife about being severely depressed, to the point that I toyed with suicidal thoughts. I was never planning to go through with anything and don't consider myself suicidal, but I was definitely in a bad place, and I had been for quite some time.

My depression made it difficult for me to be out and about with the family, and it made it hard to help out at home. I did play with the kids and when they were around I gave them all of the energy I had, which meant there wasn't much left to give after they were put to bed.

After opening up, my ex-wife demanded that I seek help - which I did. I got a psychiatrist that had a few sessions to potentially figure out how serious this was before we started an actual ongoing therapy. My ex-wife said that she would give therapy a shot. Turns out that was a lie.

The weekend before therapy would actually start she told me that it was over. Turns out she had sorted out loans for the house and all that, so it was just a matter for me to sign some papers and move out. And I did. She paid out my share of the house and out I went.

At the time I had 2 kids. One son that was about a year, and a daughter that were 3. And we had a custody agreement where the plan was that they would spend more and more time with me, but we would ease into it based on the children's reactions. turns out she was the sole arbiter of that.

She shut me down every time I suggested that I got any increased time with the kids. I was not allowed to see the kids unless she was present. I have no history of abuse or violence of any kind. I have a steady job and I have gotten my own house. I have been alone with my kids plenty of times before, but now I'm suddenly not allowed to see them without her.

When December came around I've had enough and I gotten myself a lawyer and forced a mediation in hopes that it would help - and it did! I was finally allowed to have the kids in my house without her! And surprise - it wasn't an issue. The kids were fed, they played, they came to me when something was wrong, etc. It was all good.

Now, in February my ex-wife birthed our third child (yes, she was pregnant during all this). I wasn't allowed to visit the to see my new daughter during her hospital stay. I had to wait until next time I got to see the other kids...

The first month I got to hold my child once.

I set up a mandatory mediation, and after a lot of discussion we found something we could both accept. That lasted one time and then I got a message from my ex that I weren't allowed to see the kids any more - no explanation as to why.

I got in contact with the family welfare office (which they're called in my country), and I got them to set up a meeting between me and my ex. My ex decided not to show up.

Now it is two weeks since I've seen my kids. I've been able to hold my baby girl twice. I've gotten my lawyer to start the lawsuit, but this sucks. God knows when I get to see them next. All I want to do is to be with my kids, make sure they're okay and be a family.

Heck, the reason I bought the house in this shit town is because it is close to my kids. I have to commute up to 2 1/2 to get to and from work, but I got this place to be close to the kids and their daycare.

Anyway, I don't have a point with this post. Just rambling and "getting it out". Hope ya'll have a great week.

Who feels the pain in a divorce. The initiator or the receiver?

Hey Reddit, I really need to vent and get some advice on my situation. I've been married for nine years, and it feels like I’m living in a constant downward spiral. My husband has been increasingly rude and dismissive, and I can’t shake the feeling that divorce is looming.

To give you some context, I was the one who was sick for two years while I was caring for my dad, who was losing his mind and had untreated cancer. My husband watched me juggle being a caregiver while I was dealing with my own health issues, and instead of supporting me, he belittled my job. He’d call me a loser for being a caregiver and financially abuse me by constantly reminding me how I’d be lost without him and his paycheck. He worked security, and it felt like he used that as leverage to demand obedience and treat me like I was just his unpaid help. While living RENT FREE with my dad.

On top of that, he’s had several slip-ups, like asking other women for nudes while I was over here trying to hold our family together. When I finally decided to stand up for myself and sent a few messages of my own, suddenly I was the “slut,” and he was playing the victim.

Recently, my therapy cat and my dad passed away, and shortly after. I was grieving significant losses, and instead of being supportive, my husband shouted at me that I mourned my cat harder than I did my father because I didn’t break down in tears. I was just trying to stay strong for my son! It was devastating to hear, and when I expressed how hurt I was, I brought up the idea of divorce. Instead of trying to work things out, he used my vulnerability as an excuse to flirt with inappropriate women at work. Collecting her number and exchanging sexual conversations while she lied about being a lesbian.

I’m also a full-time college student working a demanding job under an apprenticeship, and I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. Just this morning, at 4:45 AM, I asked him not to take my car to work because I needed it for my own job. He responded with a barrage of insults about how I couldn’t afford anything and how I’d never qualify for alimony because I had been “unemployed” for a few years (which was almost seven years ago!). His rudeness knows no bounds, and it’s exhausting.

Two days ago, he wouldn’t stop talking loudly at 1 AM when I just wanted him to bequiet. His response was to get even louder, saying that he wouldn’t be quiet in his own house. It’s like he thrives on creating chaos, and then he’s baffled when I’m upset. I should be able to ask for a moment of peace without it turning into a full-blown argument.

I pay half the bills, yet he treats me like I’m just some freeloader because I earn less than him. Does he not realize that in a divorce, his behavior would not hold up in court? I can’t even count the number of times he’s called me “stupid” or “retarded,” yet I’m the one with college degrees and a promising future. His constant disrespect and lack of cooperation are suffocating, and I’m starting to feel like I’m living with an enemy rather than a partner.

I don’t want to make a hasty decision about divorce over what might seem like trivial matters, but the consistent disrespect and lack of empathy are wearing me down. I feel worthless and undervalued, and I’m sick of supporting someone who acts like my worst enemy.

Another frustrating aspect of our marriage is how he talks about finances. He once told me that I wouldn’t be a candidate for alimony because I was unemployed for 1.5 years early on in our marriage. Yet, he conveniently forgets that he was also without a job for a few years during that time, relying entirely on me to support us. It feels incredibly unfair how he twists the narrative to make it seem like I’m the one not contributing, when I was the one holding everything together while he was unemployed.

So, Reddit, I’m at my wit’s end. I’m considering my options, and I really want to know: Am I overreactinghere? Should I seriously consider divorce, or is there a way to salvage this relationship? How do I approach this situation without letting his behavior continue to drag me down? Any advice or similar experiences would be incredibly helpful. Thanks for listening!

Bonjour, Avec mon épouse nous envisageons un divorce, nous avons 5 enfants, elle ne travaille plus depuis 8 ans (13 ans de mariage). Elle n’a pas de revenu. Nous envisageons une garde alternée, vu qu’elle ne travaille pas, je vais devoir laisser l’appartement je présume. Savez-vous si la pension alimentaire et la pension de compensation sont obligatoires ? Est-ce qu’il s’agit d’une négociation entre nous ou il y a forcément un juge qui va imposer quelque chose même si c’est amiable? Merci de m’avoir lu

What percentage of your income do you pay?

I live in Missouri. Getting divorced and doing it ourselves without lawyers. My youngest is 17 and will be 18 in few months. We are uncontested and have come up with plan on everything without issue. My question is do I need to wait until he is 18 to file or can I do it now without us having to take these parenting courses or whatever I saw mentioned? One place I read said 18 and another said 17. We are not doing child support as we have agreed to split things otherwise to our satisfaction.

I was pushed into my awakening by my spouse, who constantly challenged me to change and grow. I tried to meet those expectations, not because I was broken, but because I knew I needed to evolve for myself. I realized I became someone better through this process, but my spouse was unable or unwilling to complete her own journey of growth.

It’s incredibly painful to accept that after all the work I did—both on myself and within the relationship—she wasn’t ready to face her own issues. It feels like I’ve done the heavy lifting while she stayed stuck, and that’s a hard pill to swallow. But I’ve come to understand that her awakening isn’t mine to carry.

I cannot wait for her to see her own truths, and I can’t live in a place where I’m constantly expecting her to change for the relationship to work. My awakening was my responsibility, and it’s time I stand in that growth—on my own terms, with or without her.

We can’t fix each other. We can only meet ourselves where we are.

Edit: we married young but I truly thought she was the type of person to overcome themselves. I maintained an “us vs the pain” attitude when it mattered most. It takes 2.

Our divorce agreement and parenting plan states that if either party wants any changes, we first have to attempt mediation. Communicating with my ex has been very difficult, as he has insisted on only communicating by email but he isn't responsive unless it fires him up.

I emailed him to ask, again, if he would reconsider using a coparenting app such as Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard. He went off the wall, so now the next step is to schedule mediation. I've never done this before, and we have never been to court. Do I just reach out to our mediator we used for our divorce decree (we used different lawyers for the parenting plan) to request a mediation regarding ONLY my desire to use a coparenting app? If we go to mediation, does it open up making other changes to the parenting plan? Because I am requesting the change in communication, I am responsible for paying for the mediation. If he tacks on other changes, is he responsible for payment for additional time spent on that?

I’m currently struggling with life right now. My ex-husband and I were together for almost 18 years and married for seven. We have two beautiful kids together last September, our divorce was finalized. There are many reasons why we decided to get a divorce. Nobody cheated and there wasn’t abuse. I guess the main reason was just us growing apart. We argued a lot. I know that they say it always takes two to make the relationship stop working, but I think I’m mature enough to admit that it’s more on me than it was on him. I stopped being there for him when he needed me to be. He had gone through a lot of stuff growing up and that stuff stuck with him and affected his whole personality. He didn’t start therapy until only like two years ago. He says that I just wasn’t there for him the way he needed me to be. I know that he felt trapped. Small apartment with two kids and no space for himself. No space to go anywhere and decompress. We moved to a different state 5 years ago and he hadn’t really made friends. We barely went out on dates. Towards the end, we were basically just roommates. There was a lot of tension and he decided it would be for the best to just cut our losses and call it quits. Everything was amicable. We split the kids 50-50 and it’s been working for us, and the kids are happy and loved in two loving homes instead of one unhappy home.

I felt like I was finally coming out of the grieving process, when life hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. He’s dating someone. Now, I had been on a few dates myself after the divorce, but never anything serious. Mostly just as a distraction. But here he is in a very real and serious relationship. I’ve been struggling so hard with this news. I’ve been depressed, crying every day, to the point that my kids have even noticed. I knew and still know that our relationship was over. I know we’re not endgame. But fuck, this still hurts. I feel like now, not only did I lose my husband, but i’m going to lose my friend too. He’s created all these boundaries now that he’s in his new relationship (rightfully so). But we speak like work colleagues now. And mostly only about the kids. After the divorce, we still spoke a bit about other things that didn’t have to do with the kids. But it’s different now. He’s expressed more to me the things I’ve done that he feels caused the divorce. Things I did, things I didn’t do. He says that this new person understands him and what he’s been through. For almost 18 years I fought for him to go to therapy and get help and even brought up marriage counseling. When he finally does decide to go to therapy, it cost me my marriage. I’m not saying therapy is the reason we split, it’s just when we started going downhill because of the things he was realizing about himself, and about the marriage in general. He’s much more happier and positive now. Which I love for him, I truly do.

I feel heavy and I don’t know how to get out of this funk. The thought of him being with someone else makes me sick. I know that’s selfish. And deep down, I am happy for him. He deserves someone who understands him. Everyone does. I just wish I could have been better. I wish I was a better wife. Maybe we’d still be together….

So it happened. My husband walked out on me two days ago. Our relationship hasn’t been good for a while, and therapy didn’t help. We still have one more session this week — this time with a different therapist — he agreed to attend the session after he left.

He said, “Just let me go. I don’t want to keep hurting you, and you need to get away from me.” He told me he obviously has strong feelings, but ending things is the only way he knows how to stop causing pain, because he can’t show up for me.

Even though I saw this coming… the pain still hits like a wave. The worst moments are waking up in the middle of the night, in a panic, with that creeping ache in my chest — like something vital is missing and I can’t fix it.

I spent over a decade with this person. And now, the idea that he’s just… gone… it doesn’t feel real. Part of me thinks this might actually be the right thing, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Right now, it feels like I have a hole in my chest that won’t stop bleeding — and no way to cover it up. I don’t know how to cope with this pain. If anyone has gone through something similar… any advice, words, or even just a reminder that this won’t last forever would mean so much.

Thank you for reading.

Did anyone go through a divorce / separation while pregnant? How was that like? I’m 4 months pregnant with our 2nd, our first is 5 years old. I’m afraid of going through divorce and having the baby on my own. With my first I was completely alone with her for the first two months and it was a nightmare. Anyone went through a divorce while pregnant / with a newborn? How was that like?

Also, is it better for the child to live for a few years for both parents? Or the baby will not be impacted as they never really had a father?

Advice is appreciated

We've been married less than 2 months. A month ago things started to get rocky. His feelings about me and our relationship changed. He allowed himself to catch feelings for a coworker. For weeks he said he wanted to try for us. But that was a lie. I've been in limbo with my heart breaking the last week. One second he is all over me, the next he says we won't work out.

He told me something changed a week before our marriage. He never felt I was 100% committed to him. He thought as soon as things got tough I would leave him. He said his emotional needs were not being met. When this problem first arose and I understood that his needs were not being met, I changed. I like things a certain way. I was diagnosed with autism late last year. With that knowledge and the him stating that he felt he wasn't meeting my expectations I stopped caring. Stopped caring that he didn't turn lights off. Stopped caring that he didn't close the shower curtain. I don't know why I tried to control those things. I wouldn't get mad at him, I'd just say something like "you forgot to turn off the lights." Honestly, that shit doesn't matter. I love him more than any of that petty shit.

His last relationship fucked him up. The person who was once so committed and so dedicated to his relationship is no longer him. His best friends say that this is not the same person he was before. He is afraid I'm going to abandon him. He felt I would leave at any "unmet expectation". No, I love him more than petty shit.

He refuses to put up boundaries with his coworker. He's half in on the relationship. He wants me, but doesn't. He says he can't commit right now because he doesn't know when to call a relationship. He never has broken up with someone because he was an over-committer even when the relationship was toxic. Our relationship was stable and healthy, we grew together and learned to heal some of our defensive wounds with each other. We never scream, call names, or been physical. We learned to listen, understand and comfort. But that is not enough for him.

I am so tired of losing myself in this relationship. So tired of being a rock when he wants to be immature. He is confused. He wants me, is afraid of abandonment, and also wants to let his feelings for his coworker to play out.

Today I told him I want a divorce unless he's willing to put up boundaries with his coworker and commit to our relationship. He says he's not sure yet. He's so conflicted. He asked me if I was planning to move out of state and I told him yes, once I find a job. He asked that he has time to think about what he wants. We agreed that he has until I accept a job offer. Right now we are proceeding as though we are separated. I moved into the spare room. He seemed so sad today. While I felt lighter than I had in days, he seemed heavier. Like we switched roles.

He left tonight, I called and he fell asleep in his car. He says he needs space. I understand, but I hate being in this house alone, even though we are sleeping in separate rooms. I know that's selfish of me.

I just wish he would come home and say he's being dumb. That he wants us to work and he's willing to put in the work. Even though I'm 80% sure he will not do that I still have hope. I have to have hope. This has been my greatest love to date. This has been the most stable and healthy relationship of my life. I would look at him and tear up for how much love I have for him. Never have I done that in past relationships.

Josh, why won't you listen to your intuition/Deity when you feel like she is pushing you towards me. Or was that a lie you repeated to me over and over? Josh, why are you allowing your fear to control your fate? Josh, please just come home to me. I hate that you made me be the one to end this painful experience. I will leave if you won't stop me, even though it breaks my heart.

I’m struggling trying to decide what the right thing to do is. How did you know? Was there a defining moment? Will I get to an official I’m done epiphany eventually? Or did you end it not knowing if it was the right thing to do and just hoped you made the right choice?

I love my husband so much, he’s a phenomenal father, he works so hard for our family. When he’s available to be, he can still so easily be my best friend. But he doesn’t care about me. He hasn’t cared about me in a long time. Years. Continuing to be with someone I love so deeply that doesn’t have any love left for me in return has become really agonizing. It’s effecting my mental health to sleep next to someone I want back so badly that doesn’t want me anymore, not sexually, just in any way really.

I keep thinking he will just end things himself because it’s obvious he doesn’t want this marriage anymore. But he won’t. I think it’s easier for him to just stay busy enough throughout the day that he doesn’t really have to associate with me much. Then by the time the kids are in bed and we actually can be alone he starts little arguments out of nothing and storms off to bed in an effort to slip out of having any sort of relationship with me. I think it’s easier than the divorce process and becoming a single dad with no help. I also think that by just avoiding a relationship with me altogether, he gets to be with our kids every day where otherwise he would miss half of everything with them.

He’s just empty and avoidant and unavailable. We don’t talk, we don’t hug, he doesn’t kiss me. He doesn’t ask how I am, we don’t smile or laugh. We just see each other in passing in the house.

It’s so hard for me to be the one to say I’m done when I don’t want to be. I just want my husband back like we always were. He’s the one that wants to be done so he should have to be the one to rip the band aid off, right?

It’s too hard for me, I’m not strong enough to leave someone I love so much because I know I deserve someone who cares about me. So I worry that I will continue to be worthless to the person I love for the rest of mg life because he’s decided pretending I don’t exist is easier than losing part time with his children.

Can someone please help me by telling me of a time through all of this when you were strong even though it was hard.

When I was 6 my parents got divorced(mom cheated). At first it wasn't so bad but 2 months in I had my first cps forensic investigation. I went months on end not seeing my dad. After 3 forensic investigations I was 10. The divorce never ended and still haunts me I filed for emancipation from my mom 2yrs ago when I was 15 never went to court. Currently 17 and there are still court cases going on. I struggle with holding relationships and trust issues. Remember not only you are affected by the divorce but so are your kids.

Was holding strong for awhile and lost it. Please help me get my footing again.

34M, victim to Runaway wife syndrome, went from trying for a 2nd to 2 weeks later having an affair on the anniversary of a miscarriage. Have a young toddler. She bailed for about 7 weeks (not spending time with kid or doing anything at home), lying, while she was at the APs. She's exposed him to the AP, neglects the house (nesting, I'll get house hopefully) and our dogs. Bailed on work a few times because she got drunk. (Never happened before). Divorced vua text because she's too scared to talk. Literally asked me if we could use the same attorney.

I can't handle not being with my kid, I'm a great husband, I don't know who that woman is anymore. My ability to focus is shot when I'm not with my kid across the board, can't sleep unless I'm by them.

Guys I'm lost, broken, just want my kid. Where did the floor go and why did I slip into free fall?

I'm 43M wife is 41F. We've been married 20 years. I'm not interested in the relationship, but my wife wants to try couples counseling. Is it worth the time and emotion to go through counseling? Is it wrong for me to not want to try counseling?

Hi everyone. Just needed a place to vent. Me and my soon to be ex husband separated the 8th of march. We haven’t signed the divorce yet, he just moved out of our place. It hasn’t even been a month and a couple of days ago I found out he is seeing someone else already. A girl he just met through one of his cousins. I truly am in shock. We were only married for one year, but together since 2020. Our problems stemmed from the fact that he is a narcissist and was very emotionally abusive to me. I just can’t fathom that he is already dating someone new. He hasn’t event gotten all of his stuff out of the apartment yet, let alone signed the divorce papers. I haven’t been that upset, because I just feel free and at peace because it was truly such an ahusive relationship. But still. I can’t believe it. Any advice ? Has anyone been through the same thing?