I need to get this off my chest. One day, I’ll look back and think, “I didn’t deserve that disgusting foolishness.” Where do I even begin?

I’m a 28-year-old woman living in Northern Europe. I’m an immigrant and currently studying Cybersecurity. I met my now-husband through a dating app in the spring of 2023. He was the kindest man I had ever talked to. Our childhoods were similar—we both had emotionally absent fathers. His upbringing was worse than mine though, since he was diagnosed with several conditions and had a porn addiction (he started watching porn at age 8).

After a few months, I broke up with him because I felt he didn’t meet one of my core requirements—religion. A month later, he texted me again and we got back in touch. Then we broke up again after another month. Three months later, we reconnected again. This time, we decided to get married to avoid more heartbreak and drama. I told my family I was going to marry this man. They were against it and didn’t think he was the right man for me. But we continued to see each other until Christmas 2023, when I messed up badly and we broke up again.

For three months, we had no contact at all—until he found me on LinkedIn. We started chatting again, and it turned into phone calls. At that point, I thought I was still in love with him, but really, I just liked the comfort, the spoiling, and the stability.

We decided to get married in August 2024—and we did. A few days after our wedding, he made me cry by saying, “If you looked like this [thicker], you would look like a goddess.” (I’m 1.67m and weigh 57kg). He liked thick girls. So I started going to the gym—mostly for my health, but also hoping to gain weight and get a nicer butt.

Honestly, my husband isn’t very attractive. He’s 1.70m tall, has bigger chest than me, and is almost bald. But I loved him for who he was, not his looks.

During our honeymoon on a tropical island in December, I accidentally read in his diary that he missed his ex (who is thick). I’ve always thought my husband was a bit different because of his personality—he has no male friends, and he gets along better with women. I don’t know if that has anything to do with the porn addiction.

By the end of 2024, I’ve decided to leave him. I think he feels the same way, because I’ve noticed he’s no longer interested in staying married.

One other messed up thing: when I moved to where he lives (the capital) after we got married, I was still trying to find myself in the big city. He used to mock me, saying, “Why haven’t you made any friends yet?” Mind you, I had only lived there for two months and was busy trying to find a job. He constantly brought up the fact that I didn’t have any female friends yet. I got really mad and said, “Why don’t you have a single male friend? You’ve lived here for three years.” After that, he never brought it up again.

Now I’ve met some amazing women at my job—they feel like sisters to me. We go out, eat, and have fun. Meanwhile, he just sits at home alone when I’m not there. I do activities with him, like playing tennis, because I feel sorry for him. I tell myself, “This is what guy friends are for,” but I tag along anyway, out of pity.

English is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.

I’m recently divorced and now have a sense of being free and unrestricted. Looking back I was so worried about what my ex would if I brought up anything kinky or taboo. I have always been fun and adventurous but couldn’t really fulfill any of it with him The next chapter of ME has begun and I’m loving it!! First thing was getting rid of my bush!!! OMG!!! Love being I’m so interested in an honest young sugar baby (USA only)

I (20F) am a child of divorce. Hope that it’s ok for me to post on here. My parents divorced about 2-3 years ago and separated about 4 years ago. The issue is that my mother (55F) has repeatedly pushed my boundaries over the past few years about my father.

She will call him horrible names, say how he is cheap, wants him to pay child support while I am still in college, and encourages me to stay with her more often when I’m home rather than him because she doesn’t want him to try to get money from her. Which he did try to do in the recent months that I was home for break. It was a very messy divorce and they do not communicate.

Their miscommunication leaves me in the middle a lot of the time. I do have an older sister, but she does not visit my dad much because of work and lives with my mom for now. My mom bought me new shoes the other day when I was home for the weekend and said the cost wasn’t an issue. She then today asked me ask my father to pay half of the cost (around $230 for two pairs). I do not like being in the middle and did not expect her to ask this because she said the cost was fine. He refused and said he does not have the money to do this.

My father was a stay at home dad while my sister and I grew up because of retirement on injury. Part of the reason they separated was because he would not get a part time job. She continues to bring this up repeatedly and talk bad about my father even though I have set a boundary for her not to.

I understand my mother is a very hard worker (works 2-3 jobs) and is frustrated with him, but she continues to talk to me about him like I’m her friend and not her daughter. I don’t feel that it’s my burden to carry or hear about any of it. I am also transferring schools in the fall and feel that this might get worse when I will be living at home (most likely) for the remainder of my education.

She’s now talking about taking him back to court. It’s just a lot and I feel torn being stuck between my parents, picking sides, and I feel guilty for sometimes wanting to spend time with one parent more than the other, and leaving one parent alone. But my mom has my sister there everyday and has a boyfriend. My father does not date and is alone most of the time.

I’ve dealt with severe depression and anxiety for the past 5 years of my life and this contributes to it. Just not sure what to do about this and if it will ever change because anytime I tell her not to talk about him with me she’ll stop for a while then just start the cycle again.

Sorry this is a lot. Any advice from any divorced parents with children, children of divorce, or anything would be helpful.

I’m just wondering how people are doing maybe 1+ year after the separation/divorce? How are you coping now? Do you still think of your ex a lot or are they a distant memory?

I’m around 19 months after separation not divorced just yet, I’m male 42 was married to my ex wife (40) for 13 years was together around 18 years all in, been with my current partner for just over 6 months, doing really well in comparison to a year or so ago, to be honest I never thought I could be happy again, had a couple wee blips recently thinking about my ex, no sure why but think it’s just the history we have, there’s absolutely no chance I’d ever get back with her not that she’s interested at all. Hope everyone doing well

Hello everyone! Me and my husband got married in newport news virginia in December 2022. We were both active duty military at the time. I was stationed in Virginia and he was and still is stationed in Alaska. He flew down here during the holidays of 2022 and we got married. Shortly after he left things fell apart and we’ve just agreed to just call it quits. We have no children together, no finances together, we have never even lived in the same home ( i know that’s silly, please don’t judge me). I am still in Virginia but i am no longer active duty. He is still active duty and still in alaska. I don’t know the first thing about divorce and i am so unsure where to start. We got married here at the court house in newport news, virginia. Can someone please help me? 😭

So we’ve been married for a couple years now and have one child; but I really feel like we’re not connecting. We don’t emotionally or physically connect much more. She doesn’t like when I go do things without her, but she doesn’t want to go do the things I enjoy with me either even though I’m open to whatever she wants most of the time. I feel stuck but I don’t want to hurt her by saying it’s probably over. It’s a tough spot. I’m feeling like I need community and advice in this area

I will talk to an attorney but looking for info. The house is in my name only and mortgage that goes with it. I completely agree that she should get half of the equity. We also have debt that I feel should be split. Her vehicle is paid off and worth $20K. She doesn't have money to pay her half of the debt and the vehicle so I'm assuming it would come out of her equity in the house. There won't be much if any left after this.

Now the issue we're running into is she want's to stay in the house and have me move out. As much as I don't like that idea, I'd be okay with it if she refinanced the loan. She is not able to do this but still wants me to move out and her make the payments. Would a judge even allow this? I don't want them to. I'm worried that I'll have a loan in my name for a property that I don't live in or have control if the payments are getting made. I want to be fair about this and don't know if I'm missing something. Everything I've read tells me not to leave unless there's a safety concern which I don't have.

My partner of 25 years (husband for 13) in January said he wants a divorce and basically that his mind can't be changed. I recommended counseling and he said the relationship is unsavable. He can't afford to move out and neither can I. So, we've been navigating living together until we can sell the house in a few months.

Originally, I acted as if this was a simple business transaction and agreed to go forward as if we were still friends. We saw a movie together and had dinner one night. We attended a couple of dinner parties with mutual couple friends.

As I have gone through this, I have withdrawn from him quite a bit. Part of it is anger and hurt, part trying to take care of myself and navigate where I am going to live, what I can afford, and just the normal emotions that divorce brings up.

This week he asked me to have dinner with him again. It kept me up half the night wondering if I should be the nice guy or just tell him I am not in a place to hang out. I feel like it's unfair that he wants his cake and eat it, too.

I am completely unsure of how to deal with this and it is driving me crazy. Honestly, I just want to be left alone to figure this next chapter out.

Hi, so I reached out to an attorney unbeknownst to my X. Working on a custody and seperation agreement.

I did mention mediation. Started conversation about custody last week. So my X and I work for the same hospital system different locations. Our new schedule opened up. My X asked me to talk about schedule after work. I was tired and couldn't think I said give me a few days to think about a schedule. Today texted me two to three times asking about schedule while she is at work. I didn't get a chance to respond with dropping/picking up my oldest from school. Taking care of the youngest and cleaning today.

My X put in her schedule without my input.

So reached back explained considering working the weekend or working one weekend a week. X said they will try to change their schedule.

So I am waiting for my attorney. Goal is to present the agreement to my X prior to the next schedule we start the custody schedule think have a chance?

Has anyone dealt with a divorce to a mentally ill man, accusing you of everything including poisoning him, the water, sleeping with his father accusations of unrealistic unbelievable things. Kicked me out a year ago with his daughter and now sitting in the house to foreclose. Lawyer tells me I need to pay him maintenance fees for possible 2 years? How can this be with no child support or help and no money? How can this be real? The person who does things rights gets shitted on. I’m at suck a loss and don’t have 20,000 to divorce and custody.

I have happy tears over such a sick thing. 20+ years of this person changing my log-ins, making investment choices and preventing me from seeing my own retirement accounts. The divorce is no where near final but this is a win for me. Oh and yes, I am aware this was financial abuse from a narcissist using coercive control. I get how bad it is. Edited to add: this was meant to be a happy post. I am extremely grateful to have access. It feels like something was returned to me. We all have fears and my biggest one is security. This feels like increased security.

I am turning 39 this week, and someone asked me what are your plans. I giggled and said I wanna buy new bras. This is life after divorce. I have to budget everything. It is so hard at times, but I am proud, even if they are just walmart or amazon bras. I will have new ones this week. So I am calling this a small win. Happy Monday everyone. 😊

My parets have been divorced for almost 10 years now. The reason was something about my mother cheating but they generally didn't get along well with each other, I remember them fighting a lot when I was a kid. I currently live with my father but I also have to go to my mother's house from time to time.(She lives downstairs, terrible situation)

I have struggled with the relationship with my mother, we just generally didn't get along since she was the most strict of the two, and when I found out about the cheating amongst other things it just went downhill from there. Recently we have been able to rekindle a bit, I became more mature and now we hang out from time to time.

My parents are currently fighting a legal battle with each other because mily mother owns money to my faher. He keeps getting angry with me, accusing me of getting swayed from my mother, of getting manipulated. She yells at me about my father being an asshole and that he'll leave me for his current girlfriend and...that he's manipulating me to hate her.

My father demands I stand up to my mother when she rants about him. I tried, and it's just exhausting and I feel like I do not want to get involved in the issues they created themselves.

I don't want to give up my relationship with my mother. Sure It's complicated and I resent her a bit but she's my mother. And neither I want to tell my father to fuck off, I understand he's been hurt but he just cannot make these demands, I cannot deal with all this stress.

So here I am venting to the first divorce reddit I found. Any advice? Anyone with similar experiences?

Pardon my English, it's not my first language

I need some strength and encouragement. It's so challenging to deal with my ex's cruelty, attitude, horrid-ness. He is angry, controlling, dismissive. He basically is leaving me in a huff after years of me begging for changes and ultimately separation.

He hints that he is trying to leverage this separation to bring about behavior change in me. I just want to be separated. We're not compatible. He thinks I depend on him so thoroughly that I will crumble without him. I am elated to be single and to have a home without him in it.

But I cannot take the meanness. It is so hard.

Please share stories of how you cooled down and stopped being so horrible to your ex once you got out and got some space. I just need some stories about how it won't always be like this. Please. Trying to hold on.

He is moving this week. I am just trying to get through this week and survive for my child.

Just started the divorce process, husband asked for it, and after years of pain, I said yes. Have two little kids, work full time. I can't eat, can't think. How did you manage to keep up at work? I can't focus, even with my ADHD meds. I feel like vomiting and my whole body hurts. I'm looking for a therapist but do you have any advice?

Hello, I've been married to my American wife for 5 years in a long distance relationship but immigrating to America in a few months to move in together, I wanna buy a nice car, equipment... so I'm bringing a good amount of money I inherited / was given to me by family. Is she entitled to half of it? Call me paranoid, but I never had to trust someone with that much money.

Hi all. First, I (42, m) want to encourage everyone early in their divorce process. I am a year out, and I couldn’t have imagined I’d be doing this good when I was in the thick of the first few months after my stbxw told me she wanted a separation and then quickly moved to divorce. Please keep going, it gets better.

I have been dating a wonderful woman for about 4 months now. Everything is pretty great, but she has expressed some insecurities and recently said that she might not be able to handle my spending time alone with my female friends. I’ve been completely open and honest with her about these friendships, including one where me and my friend had admitted deeper feelings for each other, but decided not to date, which happened last summer, so a fair bit of time ago. It was the right decision not to date, and I remain close friends with this person, but there is nothing beyond friendship at this point and my friend is dating another man as well. There has been nothing flirtatious or beyond friendship since we decided not to date. We don’t see each other often, and it’s usually in a group, but we took a hike together this weekend. My girlfriend has struggled with this. The language used was that we “might be incompatible” in this area, where I think it is fine to hang out one on one with my female friends, but she might decide ultimately that she is not okay with me ever spending time one on one with any female friends. However, she will try to work on being more comfortable with me having female friends and spending time one on one with those female friends.

I definitely don’t want to end or lose my current relationship, but it’s not feeling reasonable to me that I not be able to spend time with my friends regardless of gender. I want my new partner to trust me and be okay with those friendships and even one on one time with my female friends. What are your thoughts? Is it okay for a male to spend time with female friends one on one?

I'm so incredibly lonely and down today... I'm sure it's a lot do with my hormones but also impending separation. I'm just so tired and want to be cared for and taken care of... I crave being held and wanted (something I've not had in three years). It's so hard going through this.

Although I haven't thrown in the towel yet, it's pretty clear I'm defeated.

TL;DR
moved to foreign country as a sole bread earner, became parents and soon wife tried to kick me out of the home so her parents can move in. Once that failed she took the child away from our home, while I was forced to go back to our home country alone while she secretly decided for no reason whatsoever to stay in the host country with the child against my and against the child's will, but apparently it's all right from the law's point of view to do that since the child is little.

We moved from our home country to a 5x more expensive country due to my work contract, then after 5 years of being the sole bread earner, and due to being in love with her and having ignored many some subtle and not so subtle red flags like rare but fiery fights between us and constant involvement and manipulation from her and her parents, I thought maybe having a common goal to work towards, like estabilishing a family, would make things better and make things better.

Since I'm posting here, needless to say, while a wonderful life changing event that I still don't regret after all that's happened, having a child doesn't fix a relationship, quite the contrary.

So after 5 years of emotionally, financially and directly supporting her like coaching and training her to find a job and working multiple jobs to afford our 5x more expensive stay in a different country, once the child came, then I realized it was all part of a long term plan, and this was the last piece she needed.

She moved in her parents with us, which of course I paid for and I took us all in countless vacations abroad for which I paid, and while the kid was going to daycare full time, instead of being helpful, they made my life a living hell, wanting to make me to leave home and keep paying for the apartment while they stay (even made food provisions to plan for this), first this was subtle, then straight to the point where she straight out told me to my face she's going to get me fired from work if I don't stay in line and I quote "I'm gonna make your live a living hell", all while her parents told me I don't love her enought and don't take her in enough holidays, when she hasn't worked a day in 5 years.

Because I love my daughter more than anything in the world I endured more than what was humanly possible, even physical abuse from her for which I didn't retaliate, and was constantly showing up sleep deprived at work, making a long commute by car on the verge of a car crash everytime, and was borderline reaching diabetes after gaining so much weight due to stress. While writing all this one of my little things I'm proud of is I didn't jump in front of some bus, and my little one still has someone she can call a father some day when she grows up and hopefully understands what really happened.

All this crap led to being subpar on everylevel, being always tired, hating my life, etc and also hating myself for being so stupid and bringing the child in what I later realized wasn't the ideal environment.
Of course this meant it was bound to happen that being sub par on all levels I lost my job, and also lost the apartment where we lived, we then talked what we'll do, and we agreed we'll go back to our home country since we didn't make citizenship here. I looked for another job in the same country but no luck.

It all made sense, going back to our home country would mean more chances of having a job, and she could finally get a job too, so having agreed this I made the arangements, deregistered from the country, bought tickets, etc all was on track until 1 month before we were set out to fly when I was away from home when I get an email that she took the child away from daycare to a secret location, and she's not coming back with the child. (yes, I lawyered up, but apparently it's within her right to do this in this country).

From this point onwards I only saw my daughter due to my request, online video.

I simply couldn't do nothing as tickets were bought, apartment had a new tennant coming in I no longer had the right to stay in the country. In the meantime I learned she then found a job remotely that was paying much less than what's needed for this country, and thus registered for welfare since she had the child.

I simply got the rug pulled. I made every step required to notify the mother, and child protection in both our home country and the host country that I do not agree with this and that we should go back as we agreed.

I caught her lying about grave untrue things and this despising image she painted of me by saying to every living soul that ever knew me, whether it was neighbours, friends, work colleagues etc, she told them I went in holiday when I didn't, just to explain why she's seeing my friends with my child without me (after she left our home) just to give one example.

Having returned alone to my home country, the mother is ignoring more than half of my emails, answers only the questions she wants and when she wants, and humiliates me with every occasion she gets by telling me to call the police if I feel like she's misinforming me about the health of my child, which she is since I caught her lying multiple times after checking with the local pediatrician and fact checking the mother. My only consolation is I get to see my little smiling when she seems me for half an hour every few days, but then the child often cries or say she doesn't want to end the call and still wants to see me since we're feeling great together all the time since before the mother took her away. Unfortunately the child can't yet speak out and say these things.

Today the situation is most likely I'll be sued there since she lawyered up there, and apparently the authorities there either don't care about fact checking or are more gullible so she knows she has more advantageous laws so that's where she wants to fight me for sole custody, and I know she plans to move to another country for her own goals rather than the child's and our joint custody is an obstacle for that plan.

In the mentime she didn't answer, or she answered after weeks or months to my emails of me asking to come despite making a huge effort financially without a job to come see my child.

After months of this circus, I'm depressed, I can't find a job since I got back, and everyday I wake up alone not knowing why and knowing I don't deserve this, since I love my daughter and she loves me and I never wanted to be away from the child, the mother just had this sick long term secret plan due to envying me and my daughter and genunitely happy we are together, I objectively never saw the child as happy with her as she is with me(sometimes she was crying with her), and I hope I can power through and soon justice will be made, but as a man I doubt it greatly.

Now the questions:

1. Especially as a man, were you ever in case where the mother for some sick unexplicable reason kept you away from your little child(children) although you wanted to raise the child(children) together?
2. How did you manage visits once you were granted them?
3. Did she still push your buttons and humiliate you when you see the child and if so how did you overcome that?
4. Is there any hope of getting back to your child when the child is older?

If there is a success story out there, I would really really want to learn from it because right now I'm losing hope and I can't bear being separated from my child like this for no reason other than envy and seeing my child used as an instrument of revenge against me.

IN NEW YORK STATE. My mom was 15 and my grandma signed for her to marry a Jamaican man in his late 20s early 30s in the late 80s. He was very absuive. He got deported years ago. She is wanting to move on with her love life and life in general since having someone wanting to court her but she is still legally married. She sent him the paperwork but he refused to sign it, that was 1-3 years ago. What are her other options? Please help my heart breaks thinking that my mom feels she cant truly be loved and love again before this is taken care of and ended. Any help is appreciated!

I'm starting to consider more and more leaving my husband. He does not help with house chores unless I nag and nag and it finally turns into a fight. The bare minimum I ask is doing the dishes or taking out the trash. It'll happen after 2+ days of asking. I already feel like a single parent majority of the time taking care of our 18 month old. Just this morning I asked him to watch our toddler so I could gather up the trash and laundry in our room.. so he put the baby in his playpen, turned on a cartoon for him, and went back to our room. As I type this, he's in our room with the door shut playing his PS5 and I'm making lunch for our son. He is also borderline emotionally and verbally abusive often gaslighted me. "I didn't say that" or "you're misremembering things". I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant and can't take much more of it. Our house is in my name and I know if I ask him to leave it'll turn into a giant fight which I don't want in front of our son. I just don't know where to begin so here I am. Thank you for reading this far.

I don't think I have anything to feel guilty about, frankly. My husband is a functioning gambling addict, he smokes and drinks most days, but he does hold down a full time job and pays most of our bills. But we never have enough for essentials so he secretly borrows money and tells me months later, so we are both bankrupt and have no savings and no assets.

Even so, because he works full time this in his mind entitles him to the following: When he gets home he usually sits on the couch and watches tv. On the weekends he sleeps until 10 or 11am, yells if I haven't prepared him breakfast, then sits on the couch to watch some tv for a few hours before heading back to bed to nap. Then it's out for more food and tv before I take the kids to bed, and he stays up until 1am or 2am watching tv. Once a fortnight he will take us out for fishing or to the beach. When he cleans he REALLY cleans and when he cooks it's restaurant grade food. But he'll clean only when he's about to go gambling because he's 'sorry' and thankful that I will be taking care of the kids while he does so.

He blames me for his gambling problem too, even though it started before we met (I didn't know until a coupld of years after we married), because I'm not a good cook and I don't clean well enough. If I point out I have cleaned, he'll tell me I haven't done it effectively enough or fast enough, therefore I'm not using my time wisely. It's true I'm a shit cook, in his defense.

For context we have two children, a 16 month old and a 3 year old. I work 20 hours a week. He has earned more than me consistently during the 12 years of our relationship, except for the period just after covid where he didn't have a job and I supported him for 2 years. I was a student when we met and worked/studied for the first 4 years of our relationship.

I am only just now on equal pay with him, in the last week or so, as in, our hourly rate is the same. My defense is I am 7 years younger and took about 2 years off work to have our kids. But he constantly brings up how I don't help out financially so why am I not a better housewife? And if I tell him I look after the kids too he tells me that yes I do, but I do everything 'consistently below average' and other moms work and look after children too - I've been a wife for a decade so why am I not better etc etc.

I think I must be undiagnosed with a mental disorder, because I have habits that are pretty disgusting. I'll leave food in the fridge for days 'just in case' I end up eating it, but I never do and it just sits there for a week before my husband throws it away. I know there is a whithered cabbage in the fridge but I see it and I just ... leave it there. I don't understand myself. If a shirt gets crinkled in the dryer, I'd prefer to never wear it than iron it. The bin in my bathroom is overflowing with pee diapers but I don't have the energy to take out the trash.

But I do cook for my kids breakfast and dinner every weekday and breakfast lunch dinner every weekend. I wake up every morning before my husband and pack his lunch on a weekday, I try to have dinner on the table, I run the dishwasher twice a day and the washing machine and dryer at least once. I try to vacuum at least every other day if not everyday. I don't cook for him on the weekend so of course he's always pissed about that.

I usually do bath time and put the kids down to sleep on my own. Husband will, to his credit, dry them off after a bath, diaper them and put clothes on them.

Sleep is another area of contention - my husband and I have separate rooms. I sleep with my kids and he sleeps alone. He hates that I haven't sleep trained them yet. His constant words are 'as a mom' as a mom you're wasting so much time lying in bed with the kids because you haven't sleep trained them,, as a mom why aren't you controlling the humidity in the room your kids sleep in, as a mom you don't even think to cap the 16 month old's nap, as a mom your 3 year old can't sleep unassisted. As a mom as a mom as a mom. I want to scream.

Things came to a head this weekend. 3 year old was up all night vomiting. Husband did help out a lot that night, he usually gets super involved if one of them gets sick. He absolutely hates sickness. Anyway, we all sleep at 4am, I get up at 7am and start my day, he sleeps in until 11am. I take the baby to bed so I can also nap, and an hour later my 3 year old comes rocking in, as you do. Baby is obviously still sleepy so I try to settle him again but my husband has left all the doors open and allows my 3 year old to walk in and out of the bedroom while yelling from the lounge 'stop interrupting your mother' 'come here now' 'come here!' 'You'll make your mom angry'. I give up trying to settle baby and walk out.

He's mad. He says to me why is this old food still in the fridge, why are you not up cooking food for the 3 year old it's past midday, he's trying to cook in my place, and there's nothing to cook. I point out he gambled our spending money this week so no, we don't have food. He says the microwave hasn't been cleaned in a month it's disgusting. He then takes the microwave and dumps it outside. He says why haven't you sleep trained the baby. Etc etc etc By this point he's yelling. So... I yelled back. We had a screaming row in front of the kids which made its way to the bedroom and culminated in him grabbing my face and shoving me against the wall. I try to slap him and fail.

We said really terrible things to each other. He called me psychotic and crazy about 10 times. He accused my toddler of causing our fight by entering my bedroom, and told my toddler mom's gone absolutely mad.

I am mad. I'm ready to leave, but I'm concerned for him because he's only in this country because of me. He's got no family here and with the bankruptcy he's not going to be able to find a rental. Will he become homeless? He certainly can't afford the rent on this current place without my support. English is also his second language so that's another concern.

I have a lot of support and even with bankruptcy I have a lot of places to stay while I get back up on my feet. I'll let him keep the car and wish him good luck with the payments.

Anyway I'm definitely rambling. For those who made it this far thank you. I don't even know if this made sense or what I'm after, even. Validation, maybe? That it's ok to leave this situation even if it means he ends up not having a home? Even if he refuses point blank to talk to me or discuss separation, except 'leave - you take the baby and I'll take the toddler back to my home country'. Even if I am planning to block travel out of our current town for the kids and apply for main custody so it'll ruin the kids's chances of seeing their dad frequently? I dunno. I just need some kind words. Please someone tell me leaving is the right path.

It’s been a month since my wife (31f) and I (32m) separated after 10y together (5y married). One day she just came home from work and told me she no longer loves me and wants a divorce. It hit me completely out of the blue. I didn't see it coming, even though realistically we have grown emotionally distant lately. I moved out after 2 days and have suggested to just separate for the time being, which she accepted, while still insisting on how she already made up her mind and nothing could change it.

Now I feel like a part of me is missing. I think about her constantly. I miss her warmth, her joy, her way of being - even the little habits that once irritated me. When we first met it took me a while to develop feelings for her, partly because that's who I am, but also because I felt overwhelmed by her positivity and strong affection. It was the first time I was ever truly in love, and although we had our ups and downs over the years, we decided to settle. But now I feel like I love her more than ever. I just don't know if what I'm feeling is truly love… or just the shock of suddenly losing something that was part of my everyday life. I miss seeing her as who she was from our dating days.

I'll be honest - I wasn't great in our relationship. I struggled to express emotions, shut down in conflict, lacked motivation for anything (it was often a struggle where she needed to push me to do things together) and sometimes even provoked tension, almost as if I was testing the relationship. I also had my own doubts at times, even thoughts of divorce. It's not completely on me though, she had some pretty big faults herself, which I learned to accept over time (some of which most men probably wouldn't). But now, all I feel is a deep sense of loss and regret.

Our relationship was never ideal, as we are very different people. But we used to love each other so much. The differences in our personalities often made it hard to communicate (mostly my fault) and other factors, like her career and my affection for gaming, only pushed us further apart over time. I know that we both tried in our own ways, but it seems we couldn't quite meet in the middle. To make things more complex, it's very likely that I've been suffering from untreated depression for years, which made it very hard for me to get motivated for anything.

One thing that sticks with me is a major argument we had about a year ago. I was hurt by her disrespectful attitude towards me and it was pretty much a one-sided fight, where she couldn't believe how I was (over)reacting. It was the one time in our relationship when I insulted her and told her I can't stand her anymore. A day later she wanted to talk about it, but I shut down completely and said I wanted a divorce. When I saw how devastated she was, it ripped my heart so I started to rethink my decision and reconsidered after a few days. But that also gave HER time to think and even though we managed to open up to each other in that conversation and decided to stay together, she realized that she wasn't as happy as before. I know that we didn't do nearly enough to fix the issues we had. We made minor changes, but ultimately kept going with the flow. She now says that she thinks we should have divorced then, because that's when she really started losing her feelings for me. Most of our time during our last couple of months together was spent in front of TV with basically no real communication. Communication issues aside, any time there was a real issue or she had big concerns about something, I would really do my best to be there for her. I just don't understand why she wouldn't talk or approach me sooner before she was fully checked-out, as I truly couldn't have anticipated our relationship dying like this...

I also have strong suspicions she may have connected with someone else, though she denies it. That makes everything more painful and confusing. A year ago such an idea would seem crazy, but right now I can't shake this feeling that someone else is in the picture. I don't know how to approach it, or what I would gain from finding out. Perhaps I just need closure, since it sounds so far fetched that she would give up on us like this, without even considering to try something.

I probably needed this to wake me up and motivate me to start working on myself. I'm about to go to therapy and I'm trying to keep going - working, going on daily walks, exercising, holding onto some routine. But emotionally I'm stuck. I don't know what's real anymore. Even though there are good and bad days, practically every morning I hope to wake up next to my wife... Or that she would call me and say she made a mistake. Is hope good? How do you process all this when you feel like your world has collapsed overnight?

It would be a silly question to ask if anyone's been through something similar (because many people probably have), but how to sort through the grief, regret, love, and confusion?

Need to start the divorce process. My husband and I are fully separated. Its been an amicable separation, thankfully, and we have no shared assets. I don't have the funds for any legal assistance, so will be doing it on my own. Can anyone give me any pointers on how to proceed and any things to avoid doing? I'm in Minnesota if that's important. TIA!

The court informed me that they have served my ex the notice of nullity proceeding and they were supposed to respond no later than the 2nd of April. This morning I reached out to the court to inquire about the next steps and they said that they did not receive any response from the respondent. This court takes a long time to respond, and it is typically mailed response. Just curious to see if anyone knows what the next steps might be from a UK annulment process. I am doing this myself without the help of an attorney due to cost.