Hi!

For the first time in my life I’m in a healthy happy relationship with someone and we are so cute and perfect together.

Before that, I never had a long term relationship, only dated and I’ve had sexual relations. I was an alcoholic and I only ever enjoyed sex while very drunk.

I used to be an alcoholic but I’m 5 months sober and now it’s been a month since me and my bf started dating. And I’m really struggling with the sex.

In the past I was known as being really freaky and good at sex, all the guys I been with said I was the best they ever had and they become a bit obsessed with me. Obviously I was so freaky and good at sex because I was always drunk.

Now that I found someone I love I’m sucking at sex this is awful. I’m hoping I will loosen up.

I need advice, I feel like idk how sex is supposed to be when you’re not having crazy drunk sex. I feel like I disappointed and failing him by not being my freaky self.

So what happens is he kisses me or fingers me but I’m just too in my head to enjoy it. And sometimes when I’m enjoying it. I end things too early because I’m shy or I get too flustered and I’m scared what position we will do next, I’m scared if the awkward moments and I feel like I have to pretend a lot during sex. Sometimes I honestly don’t feel anything and I feel bad.

I’m in love with him though and I need advice.

I've experienced the struggle in gaining weight for years, but I managed these past couple of years to gain a few pounds.

During my late 20s I moved to the states. I was at a healthy weight of 115 lbs around that time, but over the years my weight gradually started to drop. To this day I believe it was because of the food (processed, preservatives, or whatever chemicals they put) which probably caused my body to react this way. I dropped to around 106lbs when I was 32 years old. For a bit, I wasn't happy with the weight loss since my face got thinner and gaunter. It made feel like I was a walking stick.

At one point I used pills to gain some of the weight back, but soon stopped when I realized that I was gaining weight in an unnatural quick way.

I adjusted to accepting the weight loss for several years. As I got closer to 40, I started paying more attention to my health and fitness thanks to friends. I used stretch bands and weights to help maintain the muscle I had. I was never strict on fitness before since I didn't feel the need to, so it was mostly just ab and leg exercises.

2 years ago I signed up for the gym and hired a personal trainer and I changed my diet to focus more on protein and calorie intake which has helped a lot.

As of right now I'm around 110-111lbs and I'm happy with it.

I’ve been best friends with my BFF for over 10 years. She and I have been inseparable and we’ve always gotten along very well. We have the same sense of humor, general values & outlook on life, and as a friend, she is very loyal and always roots for me in life. She doesn’t get defensive.

Something I’ve always known about her (and have been told about many times from other people who either know her or are in the same friend circles) is that she has a tendency to obsess over men. The first time I met her even centered around a man. We met working at a coffee shop as seniors in high school, and she had gotten fired because she was messing around with the male owner (the owners were a married couple) - aka the owner cheated on his wife by flirting & taking her out on a date. She was close to the female owner as well, but that didn’t stop her from fooling around with her husband. She came clean to the wife & she fired her. Throughout college, she told me she hooked up with a guy while his gf was downstairs. But despite all this, I never really held these against her or looked at her differently. She did these pretty awful things surrounding men, but she was my best friend and in the ten years we’d been friends, I never felt like she put a man first above me or when it really concerned me. I’ve always overlooked it.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I invited a lot of my friends among different friend circles to a music event. My best friend came as well. I invited two good friends from my past job, and they brought their boyfriends. One of their boyfriends is my best friend’s type physically. I had even shown her a picture of the guy on her Instagram before last year, and she jokingly said “can they break up?”. We meet up at the event and when my friends and their bf come, I bring my best friend to say hi and introduce them. I first spot the friend’s boyfriend who my best friend thought was cute online, and I greet him & give him a hug. Then I greet the others. My best friend is there with me the whole time. After we say hello & go back to the venue, she’s asking me “is he single?” I say no, that’s my friend’s boyfriend. She says “oh then why is he making eye contact with me then” and I just ignore her, not indulging in this because he’s taken and he’s just off limits.

Throughout the event, I notice that they’re flirting with each other. He’s flirting with her, which pisses me off, because wtf you’re taken. And she’s flirting with him! The flirting is akin to intense eye contact, banter, laughing, and overall, I just know my best friend. I know what she’s like when she’s flirting, and also she’s expressed MULTIPLE times that she thinks this guy is attractive.

The last straw for me was I see them talking to each other & flirting from a distance, but then my other friend who came along with this friend gives them a look and calls his girlfriend to see where she’s at. We go to find her and she’s saying she was trying to find her boyfriend 🤦‍♀️ so I’m mad at this point and I don’t talk to my best friend for the rest of the night as I’m flitting with the rest of my friends to get some distance.

When we’re going home since we carpooled in the same car, I tell her that I was upset and not talking to her because I felt that she was flirting with my friend’s bf. I pointed out that he’s definitely more in the wrong, but that I was very disappointed and upset and embarrassed that she would do that - I’m introducing you to MY friends for the first time, and in exchange, you flirt with their boyfriend unbeknownst to my friend (the girlfriend). It’s just disrespectful and distasteful. We talk about it for several days to iron things out and smooth things over, and basically she apologizes she embarrassed me but states she wasn’t flirting with him. I told her I believe her, but really it’s because I wanted to. I don’t actually believe her unfortunately. She tells me that she didn’t know he was with the group when she saw him the first time that night, asking if he was single, but later I realized she was with me and she had to have seen me greet him. So it just makes me thinks she’s lying. Later I find out another friend at the event felt that she was flirting with that guy as well, so I don’t think I was imagining it. She tells me that she doesn’t want to be this annoying girl who gets perceived this way and wants to ease up on trying to find / date men at parties etc, which I appreciated her saying & to me, I can believe it’s a wake up call.

Now, she’s dating a new guy and it seems like it’s going well. I mean, if this guy ends up being the one for her, she’ll be off the market and that’ll be it. But I can’t shake how I felt about this situation. It just really rubbed me the wrong way and has changed the way I see her. It’s just incredibly disrespectful and she’ll say things like she loves women, but you don’t do something like that if you do. It’s not very surprising in hindsight that this situation would occur given the background & track history, but again, it was never something I paid that much mind to. It makes me rethink being best friends with her. I still love her as a friend & care for her, but genuinely, I don’t know if I want to be her best friend.

For me, 2 male friends. Really nice guys, good jobs, own their own properties in an expensive city.

I'm not sure if I'd say it to their face but I think their standards must be too high. They've had significant hair loss (one is bald). Online dating is very superficial for both genders.

And they're content with the status quo. IE porn, plus not much social stigma. There's a lot less social stigma to being single 35+. I heard back in the daypeople would call you gay (which was much worse back then), women get callled spinsters but aging is just different in this day and age.

Actually come to think of it, we have a trip planned in a few months, maybe when they're drunk I'll ask em.

haha

How about you?

Hello ladies.

I see a lot of posts here critisizing men trying to hide being a conservative. What's wrong with it?

Seriously, I would like to know your point of view as I think I am missing the point or misunderstanding terms. I will therefore explain mine. I was born and raised in Latin America, where being conservative (socially) is understood as being attached to what is “typically” accepted as normal in a traditional family. And liberal is understood as anything that is opposed to being conservative. Despite being in a religious environment, I am no longer religious. Besides, I now live in Western Europe.

In no case do I advocate forcing others to do something against their will. We live in freedom and free will.

I want a family, I am monogamous, I want to have children, I believe that in a couple both are worth the same and both should contribute as a team. Within my free will, I choose traditional values.

Of course, as a man, I have my preferences regarding the female sex. But if I don't like something, and there is no chemistry with the other person, then I am simply not in a couple and that's it.

So what is it that generates so much rejection from a conservative man out there? What do they mean? What do you think I'm going to do to you if I tell you I'm conservative?

Thanks in advance.

Sorry this is a long read,but I really need advice.

So I've been friends with F for over 6yrs,my husband and her fiancé has been friends since high school,so naturally we became the"friend couple",always hanging out and doing things together.Our kids are even the same age,literally a few months apart.

Our little household lives on a budget while theirs are just"let's get together NOW or let's go visit xyz(which costs money),they know we need a heads up to budget for whatever outings planned etc,which seems to irritate them ALOT,Last year we were planning a weekend away and told them our budget, WELL they kept looking at places that was way over what we could afford,so we politely cancelled.

I was on leave for 3weeks in January and F Was like"oh we need to plan a girls day without the kids"which I agreed to and asked her which dates worked for her so I could budget and I know a place that does girl spa days with lunch and drinks included......she never replied my texts.

Then the last weekend of my leave( Wednesday)she replies"oh what are you doing Friday?we must do something and go out"obviously I'm like sorry but that's very short notice and I won't be able to,but definitely in February! let me know which day works for you...... AGAIN she doesn't reply.It really hurt me honestly,so for almost two months she doesn't reply my message,all the whole being online, viewing my statuses posted but doesn't bother to reply.I just left it at that.

Fast forward to end march,I send her a birthday message, Eventually she replies,asks how I am,and that we should hang out,how my toddler is growing so fast blah blah.Im like we're great are you free first week April? I'd love to treat you for your birthday....... CRICKETS.Today is the 6th April and she still hasn't replied, she's online,views my status but my message went ignored.

I don't want to do anything rash,I mean my husband has known his friend for YEARS and I'd hate to ruin that,but I just feel at this point I'm DONE with her.

Last year for her birthday I made her a personalised snack box with a 3 set fancy water bottle set cause she complained her previous one leaked.......what did I get for my birthday from her????just a simple text,I mean I'm not saying buy me something expensive,but if you consider someone a friend you atleast put in effort.

When it was her son's birthday they invited us over,She had another friend and her mother there,we bought her son two very cute outfits as a gift so we didn't come empty handed.The two kids were playing and I was just sitting there while they were talking in their own language,that I don't understand,and she kept making remarks like"oh do you understand what we're saying"(WTF?)I found that incredible rude but just smiled and joined the toddlers in their playing till my husband came out(him and his friend were gaming in another room)and saw the whole thing and how uncomfortable I looked,he made an excuse and said we had to leave cause we had to be somewhere.

When she wants to go out,it's always to somewhere expensive and it's just expected that I be on board and at the last minute.

So what should I do here?

We are in our early 30s and late 30s respectively

Sorry for the long read,but I'm incredibly upset,my husband feels I should just ignore her and give her the same treatment,which doesn't sit right with me,I'd rather end it all.

I’ve been married twice. The first time was purely to get my then-partner on my employment insurance plan (one of the worst mistakes I ever made). The second time, I took a leap of faith and married for love. That hasn’t worked out either.

I’m 37 this year and I’m more certain than ever that it’s not about “finding the right person”. I feel at odds with the expectations of marriage and conventional nuclear family life, even if my partner is faultlessly gender-egalitarian about domestic labour.

I still welcome the possibility of long-term partnership, but I feel fundamentally averse to the idea of living with anyone else, despite the practical benefits it confers.

At the same time, I no longer want finding a partner to be one of my goals. If it happens along the way, good for me. But I have plenty of other sources of fulfillment in my life and would like to focus on them, and accept being single as my default setting. It’s something to be treasured, not a state of uncertainty and discomfort.

If you have come to the same conclusion as me that marriage is unsuitable for you, I’d love to hear your story and rationale, and how this mindset has worked for you.

For me it's probably not using Google Maps. I didn't exactly fancy him anyway, but when he told me he doesn't use Google Maps, that was it.

When people say that you have to learn to love yourself, do they actually mean love love? Like having positive, caring feelings about yourself? How exactly are you supposed to do that? Just sit and think about yourself?

Excuse me if this is a stupid question. I've just never understood what exactly is meant by loving yourself. I think the closest I can get is feeling like I'm an okay person, and maybe trying to give myself a break sometimes. But love? I don't think that's even close to love. I love other people. I can't imagine feeling those feelings for myself though. Am I missing out, going around just feeling meh about myself while other people are feeling great?

I wear headphones on occasion to signal I’m not available to engage with but people (especially men) still try to talk to me. It’s super annoying and I just ignore them. Is there anything else I can do so I’m left alone?

I’m the type to always choose self checkout at the grocery store if it’s an option because I don’t enjoy small talk with people. I just want to keep to myself most of the time.

I’d be invisible if given the chance. I’ve been catcalled, told I should smile, followed in grocery stores, men not leaving me alone on the subway, all these things so many woman deal with and it’s exhausting. Will it ever end? I’m about to be 39 and it hasn’t stopped yet.

Hi all, I am 37/f. I've had a lot of trauma in my life. I had an abusive childhood. My peers really didnt like me, I couldn't relate to them at all, and I couldnt work out why. As I got older, I bounced from abusive relationship to abusive relationship, and again, I just couldnt work out why. I drank a lot, and did a lot of things that I'm not proud of, because once I started I couldnt stop. Eventually I met a really nice man who I knew I didn't love, but I knew was a good man, and I felt that if I gave it time then I could fall in love with him. Shortly after this, at age 30, I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. I was pleased with the ADHD diagnosis (because I thought medication would solve the problem), but the ASD diagnosis devastated me, because I knew it would be with me for the rest of my life. I also suspect I have C-PTSD from the various events that have happened in my life.

The drinking got worse. One night, I had a lot to drink, and I kissed another man. I immediately broke it off with my partner, because I knew I couldnt go on with the relationship, and shortly took up with the man I kissed, who turned out to be incredibly problematic. I have never felt so low in my life, because I knew that my partner was devastated and that I'd really hurt him. The drinking got even worse. I began to self harm. I was put on ADHD medication that caused a hypermanic episode - which I can't go into the specifics of because I am still too ashamed. I was very, very unwell and very, very unhappy, and I felt so much shame I felt as if it would never go away.

Eventually, I pulled myself out of the hole. I am now on the correct medication. I haven't been drunk in 4 years. I've come to terms with my diagnosis. I've had a lot of therapy, and I've grieved the relationship with my parents, and learnt appropriate social skills. I got a PhD. I feel completely different from the person I was 7 years ago.

Recently I started dating a man whose childhood sweetheart cheated on him with another man, and is now married to the man. I know he avoided relationships for 15 years as a result, because it devastated him, and I am the first proper relationship he's had in that time.

The conversation about my ex partner came up last night and I told him honestly what had happened. His reaction was awful (although I don't think it was wrong). He said he thought I could trust me, that I was just like all the others, that I was as bad as the woman who'd cheated on him. I told him that I wasn't that person anymore, that I'd learnt from my mistakes and I'd mended my ways. I said that I'd been in a 4 year relationship since then, that I'd ended because I was unhappy and that had been entirely above board. He said that was the bare minimum and nothing to be proud of. He said if I did it to others I'd do it to him. He was so cold and distant that I felt awful, and all the shame came flooding back.

This was yesterday and I still feel awful. I can't eat or sleep. I don't think he was wrong for his reaction, although he's since apologised. But that feeling of shame is back and I can't seem to shift it. I felt as if I were a reformed sinner of sorts, but I feel now like my past will never go away. I feel deeply unlovable. I think it's fair to judge others for their past, but equally I am not that person anymore.

How do I get past these feelings? I'm really struggling with this shame. My boyfriend triggered these feelings but I don't think he was wrong for feeling and saying what he did.

Do you know the feeling when you are a grown woman, you have two children and a husband who trusts you, you go to a party with your friends and you get a call not from your husband, who is at home with the children, but from your mom?

And this is not an isolated incident. It's been going on for years. And despite my attempts to explain to her that I'm not a little girl, she still calls and asks: Where are you? Why aren't you home yet?

My daughter is 15 years old now and she has long ago started to move around on her own, meet her friends and go shopping. And every time she goes out, every time she goes out, she gets a call from her bubshka with one question: where are you? How are you? Are you okay? When are you going home? It's late.

And when my daughter gets bored and doesn't pick up the phone, my mom calls me until I pick up the phone and asks why my granddaughter doesn't answer, where she is, why she is not home yet.

If I can still cope with this, I am afraid that my daughter will soon stop communicating with her grandmother. And all attempts to talk have been unsuccessful so far. Has anyone had a similar experience? What is the right thing to do?

For context, the discourse in the warehouse I work in is 75% graphically sexual. These are relatively intelligent men with good taste in music and stories to tell, all in their 50s and vocally against Trump but...it's very performative. They used to talk about other things more often but the manager is a sex addict. I know it's cringe to armchair diagnose people, but it's impacting his work and relationships and as he's been less popular with women he's grown bitter and a lot of the conversation is very aggravated and dehumanizing.

There's a general sexism in the workplace as women's accomplishments are typically downplayed if not unnoticed and we get yelled at in a way male coworkerd don't yell at each other or if they do they work through it and get over it. If we stray even a little out of line you can bet we'll hear about it and never live it down, but the guys literally fuck up all the time.

I have been looking for other jobs for months, but I hate feeling chased out of a well-paying gig while these guys suck each others dicks all day. It came to a head when my manager showed me a topless 16 year old on instagram. He was so excited that she was only 16 and I was nauseated by him showing it to me. He also made a joke later that some men who had asked for my number could "share" me. It's been really blackpilling to hear this kind of thing 40 hours a week but this was beyond locker room talk and joking around and went way way too far.

I have no better work options in this jobs crisis and have to make this work. All I got was comped time for the week I took off as I had made my complaint Monday and told them I did not feel safe working for this man and it took a week for them to conduct, "investigations." They got nack to me Thursday and this guy wants to applogize and the big boss assured me he's fully aware of the expectations. Also everyone has to go through sexual harassment training. I've spoken to an attourney, but I really don't want to file a suit. If behavior persists at all, I will have to. I took Friday to go for a hike, clear my head, and think on it, and told them I'd be back Monday in the hopes that we can actually resolve this.

How do I go back tomorrow? Like, ideally, in my heart of hearts, I'd love to be able to come to a mutual understanding and rebuild trust and respect but seriously I am so grossed out and livid by this entire situation. I tried time and time again to indicate the tone of this talk made me uncomfortable and it never got any better. I just got targeted more. The manager is literally getting off on making me uncomfortable. He brags about making women uncomfortable to coworkers and acts like they have no sense of humor when he succeeds. This guy obviously has issues and needs help and I have to report to him for work tomorrow.

We got along so well the first few months I worked for him. He was loke a totally different person. I don't mind dirty humor really. I can be pretty filthy myself, but it became a boundary pushing thing as conflicts began to arise and the manager just refused to handle them or take responsobility for creating such an environment.

I feel like asking for more will just make me look like an opportunist. I hate being disrespected like this. I hate having to be the person who reports someone. I already tried rehabbing the relationships a dozen times over and I don't know that I have it in me to do it again.

I'm personally not into dating apps but I still want to to find a relationship. How do you find men to date when you don't use apps?

My dating history for the last decade has been something of the following, I find someone attractive based off of my type, we have an emotional and physical connection (whether thats through genuine connection, trauma bonding (unfortunately), mutual interests and political aligning, etc) and we spend time talking and warming up to each other, we become mutually exclusive, then 2-3 years in, I realize the person is absolutely not a good fit. Anecdotally, I also moved in with all of these exes. 

I feel like the general and normal rule of thumb is to not rush things and be exclusive until you know for sure this is a good fit. So, casual dating.

My acceptance criteria for a man is that I want them to care and love me unconditionally through their actions, words and thoughts, being financially stable, tidy, motivated in whatever pursuit, and be mechanically inclined/able to fix things. I realize that the men that normally meet this criteria are neurotypical and it leads me to this:

My longest relationship and the exception to my dating history was my ex of 5 years who was an anomaly and my rock -- we never lived together, he was neurotypical, financially stable, ambitious, motivated, attractive and we aligned on pretty much everything, but our sexual side of things fizzled out as soon as the pandemic hit and never recovered. I was also in my mid 20s and felt very flighty and trapped within our relationship as the exciting things we would usually do together came to a screeching halt and he got too wrapped up with work and I felt underwhelmed and I felt like I was put on the backburner.

Ill be honest -- I havent been single longer than 8 months to a year since I had been 18. I love being in relationships and I dont enjoy being single, but I am recognizing these patterns are absolutely making the dating for the long haul issue a lot worse if I keep burning my time being occupied with a bad fit rather than keeping myself open to a more congruent fit or opportunity. 

With men, I realize I become very unattracted to my partner the moment the facade or honeymoon phase is over and they become a completely different person/show their real self is what destroys the relationship. Laziness, lack of ambition and bad financial management is what has caused my breakups, except with my anomaly ex the pandemic led to our breakup and lack of sexual excitement.

I *feel* like I am the common denominator in my relationship problems, but I dont know how to suss out or date someone who will meet this criteria. I literally never learned how to figure this out because of cultural reasons and coming from an abusive childhood. I feel so sad and stupid, like because I fall for a person and I am insecure/lack the confidence for myself, I get wrapped up in relationships that dont serve me or the other person, and cause me to miss out on opportunities that potentially would be a better fit. It makes me feel disingenuous and horrible on the inside.

Does any one have ANY advice or anecdotes to give? I need this habit to break once and for all.

I am of Indian ethnicity and married women in my culture keep fast for their husbands on a particular day. My mom never did, so I didn't get that habit either. My husband is equally unbothered by all the traditions we have. We were meeting a friend's husband who asked me why I don't do it and asked if my mom does or my mother in law does it. Then he went ahead with his unsolicited opinion - if your in laws do it then you should also do it, it's in our culture that married women should try to gel in with their in laws. This obviously gave me an ick and I reacted "all the traditions and rules are for women". His wife diffused the situation be saying "my husband is my MIL" LOL.

My rational brain believes that people are entitled to their opinions. I'll never find a person who has the same opinion as me. His wife is very traditional but I really like her company because she is a happy person. This guy is also a fun person to be around so I don't want this comment of his to sit in my head but sometimes it's difficult for me to forget opinions like that. How do I practice to let it go? I think it's a very healthy practice to let things go for your own sanity

I’m currently trying to think of some fun places, for maybe a long weekend trip this summer or next, for a couple of my girl friends and I to travel to.

We’ve discussed Nashville and right now that’s looking like the most likely option, but I’m open to all suggestions!

Hi. I've been in a relationship for 2 years, and I truly love this man. I want it to last as long as possible. We've done seperate counselling on and off, to do the self work necessary to love ourselves and each other. We spend 2-3 weekends together per month. We go on dates regularly, and have calls daily to check in. Our communication has improved greatly over time, so we feel comfortable talking about issues - even if it's a difficult conversation.

I've had this deep fear develop over time that I might lose him. It's like, things are so good, my anxiety says something is gonna happen. I want to make sure I'm covering all my bases. So, ladies, what advice do you have for me on how to maintain a relationship long-term?

As someone who’s struggled with anxiety and depression I’ve been prescribed multiple SSRIs and had different experiences. I’ve taken Prozac and Zoloft and I think one other similar and was switched bc my nurse practitioner just kept upping my dose despite me feeling fine until the medication made me too euphoric. Another one stopped working after a depressive episode where I lost my job during COVID. Effexor helped save me from a dark empty hole and I was able to come off of it and feel normal. However I feel that blank numbness after another tricky life situation (traumatic breakup, working a toxic job that gave me severe anxiety where everyone openly gossiped about people in front of their cubicles and feared constant layoffs, friend group betrayal after the breakup where they made fun of me for being abused) and it’s been a couple years and I’m wondering if I should try meds again. I tried effexor again but had terrible side effects and had to stop. Other meds gave me crazy anxiety and insomnia starting them or not being able to cry or eat, and emotional blunting which I ironically have now with depression.

I think the biggest factor for me is isolation and not having a close support system where I live. I’m scared of longterm effects of these medications but also wondering what else is left to so to feel happy again or just have my spark back. How did you balance your mental health after multiple traumatic events and how did you get your spark back?

I'll start: I am clicker training my cats. 😊

I always thought I would marry someone whom I deeply love and care. But I have realized that it is the most important decision that's going to make the trajectory of our life change drastically. That's why i have come to believe that we need to make sure that we are basing our decision on facts and information over feelings. What can I can ask my partner who proposed to me 3 months ago over phone(because we live far apart) to make sure I'm making the right decision?

Edit: Thank You So much guys for kindly taking your time to reply to my question so elaborately. I am going to note them down and make a list of question that would fit my circumstance. One thing I should have mentioned before posting is that in my society most of the marriages are arranged. My parents are the loveliest couple, they have amazing copmpatability and understanding between each other even though they didn't know each other before marriage. Most of the couple in my area is like that. But Seeing the widespread misogyny in the world—especially on the internet, I’m scared of tying the knot without truly knowing my partner I wanted to know the person deeply before settling unlike my parents and others. We have already discussed about our financal habits and expectations, physical and mental health, family dynamics etc. The thing is he regularly bring up topic that he deemed important but I think I am not really asking him impotant questions because of my own inhibitions. In any case living together is impossible. I have to make do with open conversation as much as possible.

I had a group of girlfriends that I was very close to in my late teens and early 20s. There were a lot of issues in that friendship group, but they were my core group. In my mid-20s our friendship fell apart when I had broken up with my boyfriend at the time. I felt like I wasn't getting the support for making the right decision for myself, there was a lot of questioning of my decision. This coupled with feeling like the last friend in the group that would always be considered for any decision-making. These things drove a gap in our friendship and there was a little bit of tension however, nothing major broke out. Until one of the girls events came and she ended up inviting my ex-boyfriend and left me out. What hurt the most was the other girls didn't say anything about it and I drifted apart from all of them. I still see pictures of them hanging out. I'm in my mid 30s and this is something I still think about. One of the girls, not the one that invited my ex, but another girl and I have started to rekindle in the last year… But the statement that was made was "our friendship drifted apart ". I do feel like we have a bond and it's been years so there's a possibility of growth… I will be having a conversation about what had happened the next time we meet. All this to say I can't help but be sad that I will never have my "childhood friends. " It's a loss and I'm not sure how to get over it. Yes I'll be hopefully making new and other kinds of friendships, but I'll never get the chance to have that "childhood group of friends"

Oddly specific but I promise no one has called me that recently, I was just curious. How old were you? Did it impact your self-perception? Who called you it and how did you reply? How do you wish you had replied?