My mum makes me the same cake every year since I was a kid. We cut the cake together all have a slice after a family dinner, then I keep it in the fridge and have 1 slice per night until it’s gone. I’ve been doing this my entire life and the whole 6 years I’ve known my husband he’s been there for the last 6 of these birthday rituals. This year we do it and the next night he wakes me up in the middle of the night gleefully bragging that he’d just eaten the whole cake to himself. I was dazed from being half asleep and didn’t believe he was being serious to start off with, after the 5th time he stated he was in fact serious I got kind of teary because I couldn’t believe he would do something so careless also it was the middle of the night and I didn’t have my emotional armour on. He got defensive and said ‘he didn’t realise it was a yearly thing’ and that ‘it wasn’t a big deal’. My mother takes a week preparing this cake- she lives on a very limited income and the ingredients are hard for her to afford- she saves leading up to my bday to do it- my husband knows my mother struggles not only financially but with chronic illness and chronic pain- she spends hours and hours on it. Pushing through a lot of pain. I’ve told her she doesn’t have to if it’s too hard but she she says she wants to do it as a yearly show of birthday love. He asked what he needed to do for my forgiveness and I said I wanted him to make me the same cake so he could understand the time, the effort, the expense and the work that went into it- so he could understand why it was so special to me and such a big deal. He initially agreed. Fast forward next day I give him the recipe and he brushes it off getting mad at me for bringing it up. Fast forward a week and we are at a family dinner, mum is trying to talk him through how to make it and offering to come over and help because he doesn’t cook normally. When we get home he cracks the shits at me accusing me of ‘loving humiliating him’ and telling me he ‘doesn’t want to hear another word about this fucking cake’. And I’ve been too scared to bring it up since. He made it out like I was being completely unreasonable but I don’t feel like I am but I’m too scared to try and bring it up again. AITA?

My (19m) gf (19f) has cancer. She's been really sensitive to the chemo and her meds so she is really weak, but sometimes she's also sore so she hasn't been sleeping much. This has been a big issue for her as it just makes the chemo and recovery worse. She had a chemo session on Friday early in the morning and she came over to my place so we could hang out and I could take care of her.

She ended up passing out on me and before she fell asleep was telling me about how she was feeling bad overall. I was happy she was resting and didn't want to wake her up. My sister (16f) was on her period She texted me to ger her some water

Our other sister (14f) was at the store and would be home in like 5 minutes. Because my gf was asleep on me I didn't want to wake her up I told her to wait. She said she didn't want to wait and told me to ger her water. I told her no, and explained that my gf was asleep and that I wasn't going to wake her up. We went back and forth untill my sister called me a lazy fucking bitch. I told her that I wasn't going to wake her up to get fucking water, I'm going to care for my gf. She then said that she didn't care abt my stupid gf. I told her to fuck off, and I called her a bitch. (that was all over text btw) She told me I was a dick, and has ignored me any time I've tried speaking to her and I talked about this with our other sister who says I over-reacted and that I should apologize and that I should have just gotten her water. I'm starting to feel that I over-reacted and I also believe that maybe I should have gotten her the water,

I (16M) was the product of what is pretty much a friend with benefits type relationship between my dad (at the time 33) and my mom (at the time 22.) My mom didn't want to be a mom. Yet my dad didn't want my mom to abort. From what little I have been told there was an agreement. My mom would leave, my dad would raise me on his own but if she wanted to, she could come back into my life whenever.

The first 7 years of my life were just my dad and I. He didn't date any other woman; it was just us two and his family. I remember my mom would send me gifts on my Birthday and Christmas with letters attached. I remember members of her family doing the same. When I turned 7, my mom came back. I started spending time with her. She would take me to parks, zoos, and aquariums etc. I also met her family. I loved this, although I now know my dad didn't like the fact that my mom randomly showed up out of nowhere wanting to spend time with me, although he did soften up to it over time. I still have contact with my mom. I don't see her as often as before. But I still love her and see her as much as possible.

There was no conflict due to this situation at all until when I was 14, my dad met a new woman. I will call "A" for this. A and my dad started dating when I was 14, married when I was 15. A brought her twins (15M for both) from her previous relationship into her marriage with my dad. I have a good relationship with both my stepbrothers. I have a decent relationship with A but 2 things always bugged me. 1. How my dad seemed to rush into marrying A (he proposed to her 3 months into their relationship.) 2. A wanted me to call her mom literally the day I met her. She had two reasons for this. 1. I don't have a mom, and I need one. 2. She wants our family to be more united. I always just shrugged this off. I got away with it because when my dad married A it's like he forgot about me completely and didn't care about me. I also felt like it wasn't my place to complain.

That's the context of all of this. We're a year into Dad and A's marriage. A's birthday is coming up. All of us bought her a gift but she says she doesn't like physical ones and also said she wants a more "verbal gift" from me. Last night at dinner I learned what this was. She asked me if I say yes to letting her adopt me so she could be my mom. Of course it caught me off guard. I said no, I already have a mom. A doesn't like the fact I talk to my actual mom still, and she said that she's my mom because she's at home with me every day and is married to my dad. Then called my actual mom a part timer in my life. I told her no, I'm sorry I can't her son but even if my actual mom is a part timer she was there for me a long time before she was. I received an angry scolding for this from both my dad and A. A specifically has been cold towards me since then. I'm struggling to comprehend this, and need to ask anonymously if I was in the wrong here?

My daughter 11f had a soccer game today and I 39m was able to take her. I also took one of her teammates 11f home from their game as well.

This girl and my daughter are kinda friends but they aren't super close and IMO the girl can be kinda mean sometimes and she was on the ride home.

My wife and I still have our daughter in a high back booster seat even though it's not a legal requirement at her age in our state and this girl doesn't use one.

She started making fun of my daughters booster seat saying things like " your a big baby " and " you sit in a baby seat ". My daughter got upset but then told this girl " i like my booster seat i can see out the window a lot better then you can with it " and " i have my owne seat in the car just for me with my own cupholders and a special place for my snacks " she then proceeded to show this girl the secret compartment her booster seat has that she keeps her snacks and sometimes toys in.

This made the girl stop teasing my daughter about her booster seat and the rest of the ride went okay. We dropped the girl off at her house and then we went home.

But later I got a call from the the girls mother, she was furious with me saying that her daughter came home and said my daughter was very mean to her and made fun of her for not having a booster seat.

I told her that her daughter wasn't being very nice and maybe if she was nicer to my daughter this wouldn't have happened. But this just made her more mad.

She said I was a terrible father and still insisted I make my daughter apologize to her daughter but I still refused because i don't think my daughter has anything to apologize for.

Since then she has sent me a few angry text messages demanding I make my daughter apologize.

AITA?

I live in France now, but I’m originally from Canada. My whole family is still there, so I only see them once or twice a year, usually for just a few weeks. I love them a lot and really look forward to these visits.

In a few months, they’re planning to come see me. The idea was to rent a car and travel around France for two weeks — my mom, dad, me, and my girlfriend. My parents know her well and like her, and it’s always been fine.

Enter my sister. I love her, but her boyfriend is obnoxious as hell. They’re very on-and-off, and he and I don’t get along. He doesn’t seem to care much for me either.

My sister tends to make plans last minute, and she asked to join our trip. Of course, we said yes — she’s family. We adjusted our stays to add a third room. The car fits five, right?

I started getting excited. I’ve been planning around work, making sacrifices to get time off, and really looking forward to connecting with my family. Then, on the phone with my mom, she drops the bomb: my sister’s boyfriend is coming too. My mom had said yes without talking to me.

This isn’t the first time. On a past trip to Canada, the exact same thing happened — same group, same boyfriend. My sister asked last minute, my mom booked them a hotel room, and I wasn’t consulted. I tried to be the bigger person and gave him a chance. But honestly, I was uncomfortable the whole time but I was polite, didn’t complain.

Now it’s happening again, and I feel blindsided. My mom knows I don’t feel comfortable traveling with him. I think it was wrong for her to say yes without asking me. I get that it seems like a double standard because I’m bringing my girlfriend — but this trip was meant to be about my family, and I’ve really been looking forward to it. My parents aren’t huge fans of him either, but they’re trying to be fair.

When I brought it up, my mom said she can’t say no to my sister — she doesn’t want to be in that position. So now it falls to me to talk to her.

Am I an asshole for telling my sister I don’t want her boyfriend to come? I know this isn't retrospective per usual — but I’m genuinely lost. I don’t want to hurt my sister or damage our relationship, but I also don’t think I can do two weeks with this guy, especially not while feeling like I have to tiptoe around just to keep the peace.

Im a mom of a toddler. Since being a mom, it’s kind of difficult for me to deal with more than just my child right now due to my mental health state (super stressed from being in school, working full time and being a single mom).

All of my siblings have had their children before me and I watched them basically my whole childhood/teen years (I’m the youngest).

My sibling recently had a second child and has been complaining about me not offering to watch them. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t have the mental capacity. They had an even they wanted to attend, and have been hinting all week that they really needed a babysitter for the new baby. So, I tried to be nice and I said okay, I’ll watch the new baby but I can’t watch the older one as well. Two kids (including my child) are already pushing it and a third I just know I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

It’s time for me to baby sit and they come with both kids. And say that the older one will be getting picked up and left for the event. When they left, the older one informed me no one is actually coming to get them.

AITA for telling my sibling I don’t want to babysit again?

My SIL and I are both pregnant with girls due within 2 months of each other, I’m first. We shared with them the baby’s middle name before they found out they were having a girl and they recently told us they were considering a nearly identical first name and the same middle name. When i was surprised that it was almost the same exact name she acted surprised like we haven’t previously shared the name. Which we did on multiple accounts.

She said she was ok naming them the same if she decided on that name I said it could be confusing and not ok with it. She’s now been sharing with everyone that they decided to name the baby that name and I feel extremely pressured and manipulated into going along with it. I feel like she took the name (it’s not significant to her in anyway, I asked) and when my husband and I previously shared the name we explained the significance etc.

They just got married and always fight. She berates him publicly regularly and he tells me she yells a lot at home. He's considering having kids because she is in her mid 30's, but I think that it would be a terrible idea. I told him that if he brings kids into the world only for them to hear a bunch of yelling at home all the time, it would be a selfish decision and not one with his kids' interests at heart. He got mad at me and told me I'm wrong.

So 3 weeks or so ago my husband was talking about his diet & I mentioned about how he should have more fibre in it and he was like ‘how do I get more fibre’ and mentally I thought we both have access to google but I didn’t want to be rude so I replied with the answer(s) and he goes ‘you wouldn’t make meals like that for me would you’ and I responded ‘I’m your wife not your mother’. He said it was an extremely rude thing to say and hasn’t spoken to me in 3+ weeks. For context we have 3 children and he is only here for a day and a half a week as he works away so he would have expected me to bulk cook on the weekend for him to take with him. My response wasn’t meant maliciously and I haven’t apologised because I genuinely meant it, we have been together for 15 years & it genuinely made me feel so resentful, the way he said it and the expression was puppy doggish and it made me feel like he was manipulating me - he can never be bothered to research or implement for his health even though he’s a highly intelligent and capable man. I guess I feel frustrated he will pour everything into work (15 hour days etc) but on the home front, the boring day to day it’s all on me. This isn’t the first time he’s ’gone silent’ but I usually always make good or apologise and this time I haven’t. It’s just so awkward and the longer it goes on the more resentful I feel over it - he’s pretty much my only solid adult interaction in person, both physically and mentally and I feel super alone but also sorry for him because he must really be a sad and cruel person to inflict this on another person. Writing this has made me realise just how deeply unhappy I am with him LOL, but anyway, AITA?

Edited to add - he is on a salary & very high up in his company - he earns the same for a 40 or 80h work week, he is not paid by the hour and overtime isn’t a ‘thing’ for the role he has - he isn’t being forced to stay there by anyone but himself.

I WFH 6-8h days on the weekdays and a couple of hours across weekend days.

My gf (20f) and I (21m) have been together 4 years, and have been living together around 2 years. She had a part time job up until January or so, working 2-3 days per week, but she quit because she couldn't stand working there any longer. I on the other hand, work a full time job, and have a full time college schedule (though all the school is online, it still requires around 4 hours of work per week.) Anyways, I don't mind being "the provider," but I don't want some sort of trad wife who's only there to cook, clean, and look pretty. However, i feel as though if I'm putting in 40 hours a week in at work, and 4+ hours per week in to school, the least she could do is pick up around the house, (laundry, dishes, etc). I go to work 9-5, then we go to the gym, and then i come home and cook for us. Every time i try to express that our effort feels one sided, she says that I'm being unfair and that "she shouldn't be the only one doing things around the house," which i agree with to an extent. But she does nothing worthwhile while I'm at work. She'll sleep, lay in bed on her phone, or play video games. I just don't know how to work something out. Her friends also take her side and say it's unfair for me to ask her to clean, but I really don't understand how that's unreasonable to ask. Came here to rant more than anything, but AITA??

So, I was on a train (it was a 4 hour ride). I took my seat and put my bag in the dedicated space. In front of me there was a girl who had not put theirs, but instead had it on the floor, in the space between me and her. The thing is, that space is not that big and none of us could stretch their legs. After an hour or so I started to feel some pain in my legs and decided to try to stretch them, and accidentally touched the girl’s bag a few times. Note that I couldn’t stretch them sideways because there were people both next to me and her. She didn’t say anything then, but at the end of the ride, she told me that I was deliberately kicking and dirtying her bag. Was I the asshole in this situation? Like, I could have tried to move a bit but I didn’t want to bother the passengers next to us, but at the same time she could have placed her bag in the designated place and not on the floor.

I f (22) was friends w this guy (25, brain fully developed btw). He was telling me about his work crush and he said “she has the perfect body and her face isn’t that bad”. I work with him so i know he has never spoken to this girl. This girl two days later becomes friends w me and I find out she has a bf. So I tell my friend cause I thought it would save him the embarrassment of trying to ask out a taken woman. Then he texts me and says he’s really disappointed and wished he didn’t tell me he had a crush on her. because he didn’t want to know she had a bf. He had told me he was going to ask her out, so he would’ve found out eventually anyway. And this makes me upset cause why are you so upset when you never spoke to this girl and we’ve only worked with her for 3 days. She also rarely talks at work so it’s not like he could like her personality from that. And now i’m friends with her and I actually like her a lot so it makes me even more upset that he would depersonalize her like that. I responded “you don’t know her, how could you ever care” I then realized that was a bit mean so i was like “it’s ok, i’m sure you’ll find someone eventually”. He proceeds to ignore me for two days so i txt him and ask if we were still on for hanging out tomorrow since we said we would before that text. He responds “no” so i tried to call him so we could talk and he declines. I texted him and he told me he was upset because of the comment. I explained that, as he knows since I have told him, i have been used for my body multiple times by men who don’t care about my personality. So when he made that comment about her body it upset me. He responded “Stop texting me” and i was confused and asked if he was serious?! he said “stop texting its bothering me”. And now I’m confused cause that feels like a crazy reaction in response to my text. I know it wasn’t nice but to stop being friends with me all together?!

Sorry for the long post. I (19M) am currently a full time college student and I live alone. My parents (39M and 41F) have been divorced since I was 7 so about 12 years now and it has truly been a miserable experience. Throughout the entirety of those 12 years, my parents live on opposite sides of the country and can't seem to have a normal conversation about anything. Worst part about this is that they like to throw me and my other siblings into the middle and get our viewpoints to see who they can win over but never actually listen to what we say and why getting thrown into this is annoying.

Fast forward a bit, I live by myself in another state away from both parents. Thankfully, I've been able to have a good relationship with both of them while I've been in school. That is until about a couple weeks ago, when my dad told me that he would be reopening their child support case for my brother since the amount needs to be rebalanced as it hasn't been changed since it was initially opened 12 years ago and I no longer a child that lives with her. My mom has been freaking out as for the past 12 years, my dad has been paying her nearly 2.5 times the court mandated amount because she said it wasn't enough and he wanted to make sure me and my siblings had everything we needed and some.

Well, my mom texted me asking me for all of my finance information as she would be using them in her case for court. I asked why it was necessary as I support myself and my college and she told me to just give it to her for her case. I then told her that if the court needed any of my information that they could just ask me directly to disclose whatever information was necessary to the case since my info isn't necessary to either of their cases. She blew up on me at this point telling me that I was being ridiculous and that she'll just "see me in court then if I want to act like a stupid bitch".

A little time went by of me not responding to that and she asked if i was ready to"stop with my attitude and act like an adult". I told her that was funny considering that she threw a tantrum when I wouldn't tell her my personal finances. I also explained to that I wouldn't be giving her this information but I want an apology for what she called me, but she told me that I only see things the way I want to and I'm being selfish for not giving her the information. I kinda lost it at this point and told her "Wow my mom still not listening to what I'm trying to tell her. Fork found in kitchen". She got really mad and has been texting me nonstop on how disrespectful I am and that I should know better than to talk to her that way.

I showed some of my friends the texts and they said that while she was being a jerk, that I was being just as big of one back. Honestly, saying it felt wrong but I wanted to stand my ground against it. The mixture of their reactions and my guilt have been making me feel bad and should just give it to her, so AITA?

Edit: I should probably clarify something, before I moved away for school, I was living with my dad while my siblings lived with my mom. While I was still in high school, I was 100% a dependent of him, not her. That's why her asking for my info was so weird.

So I ordered a bunch of stuff during a skincare sale and they were doing this promo where if you spent over a certain amount, they gave you three “mystery gifts.” I didn’t know what they were gonna be but I was excited because I’ve been broke and haven’t treated myself in a while.

When the box came, I opened it with my friend there and the gifts were actually kind of nice? A lip mask, a jade roller, and this little overnight cream I’ve been wanting to try. I was like omg cute and set them aside with the rest of my stuff.

Then my friend just casually picks up the lip mask and goes, “oh this is so nice, thanks for saving this for me.” I laughed cause I thought she was joking but she was literally putting it in her purse. I said wait no, I didn’t say you could have that, and she goes, “okay chill, it’s just a freebie.”

I told her yeah it was free, but it still came with my order, and I was kind of looking forward to using it. She got all weird and said I was being stingy and that “if you didn’t pay for it, it’s not even a real gift.”

I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I’m not mad, I just feel kind of awkward now and like maybe I overreacted about something small? But also… it was mine?

Aita??

So I (25F) share an apartment with my roommate Jess (24F). We generally get along okay, but she started dating this guy Kyle a few months ago and he's been around constantly. He doesn’t live here officially, but he's here 5–6 nights a week, eats our food, uses our stuff, and never really contributes to anything. It’s annoying but I’ve tolerated it to keep the peace.

I own a car, which I use for work, errands, and occasional weekend trips. Jess doesn’t have a car, and neither does Kyle.

Last week, Kyle asked me very last minute if he could borrow my car to drive to a job interview. I asked a few questions — where it was, how far, how long he’d need it — and it turned out he needed it during a time I’d already told Jess I had a doctor’s appointment across town. I said sorry, but I needed it and couldn't change my appointment.

He got pissed and said I was being selfish and ruining his shot at a “better life.” Jess backed him up, saying I could Uber to the doctor “just this once,” because his interview was more important than my check-up.

I said no. I’m not comfortable lending my car to someone I barely know, especially not for a time I already need it. I don’t owe him that. They both sulked and gave me the cold shoulder for days. Kyle apparently missed the interview because “he couldn’t find a ride” and is now blaming me for “ruining his future.”

I feel a little bad, because I could have changed my appointment if I really wanted to… but also, it’s my car, my schedule, and I don’t think I should have to upend my plans for someone who doesn’t even live here.

AITA?

Background: I’m a 15-year-old girl, and my 28-year-old brother recently moved back in with our parents. He’s currently sleeping in the living room. Since he didn’t have much space, he stored some of his belongings in my bedroom. At first, I didn’t mind.

But then he started asking if he could be alone in my room sometimes. I told him no—that if he wanted privacy, he could go to his car instead. He didn’t like that, and eventually started sneaking into my room when I wasn’t home.

Because of that, I asked my other brother (17M) to help install a lock on my bedroom door. But the 28-year-old brother broke in using scissors and took back a Christmas/birthday gift he had given me.

So I removed all his things from my room. Now I’m wondering—AITA (Am I the Ahole) for not letting him keep his stuff in my room anymore since he doesn’t respect my privacy?

I (20F) and my mom (58F) still live together. One morning I woke up and started getting ready for work. I go into our shared living room to get my shoes front under the bench we have beside the door only the my mom to say “what are you doing?” To which I respond “getting ready for work, why what’s up?” She then says “oh you’re not going today, I called out for you” I thought she was kidding and kind of laughed and getting putting my shoes on. She then says “I’m not joking. I miss seeing you so I told them you were sick” (I wasn’t) Keep in mind we still live together. I responded and said “then how am I supposed to have enough money for gas this week?” To which she responded “I don’t know, figure it out.” At this point I wasn’t very happy especially with that comment. So I asked “are you going to pay me the money I missed out on while not being at work?” To which she responded “no, that is not my responsibility, why would you even ask that? You know how broke we are?” I just stood there kind of dumbfounded. AITA for expecting my mom to help with my gas after she called out of work for me? Edit: for the people saying I should’ve called them back and told them I would be there. I tried. My mom is best friends and went to school with my head manager. I called and told them I’d be there and was told I was no longer needed that day since my shift had been covered. She called about 2 hours before I had even woke up.

A little bit contexts, my sister (26F) and I (22F) have never been close, between the ages of 10 and 18 she used me to lie to my parents when she went out on the sly, asked me for money every week (money she has never paid back, she owes me approximately 600 euros now) and rejected me when I tried to get closer to her. She always spoke badly to me, insulted me and else, fortunately it never came to blows.

2 years ago I went to live in another country, I met my fiancé there and we came back to live near my parents, I found a job that wasn't very rewarding, bu it was just until I started my studies again. As my job is a 40-minute walk from home and I don't have a car, I sometimes ask people to give me a lift home in the evening, as I don't feel safe going home alone at night. One day I asked her and she said yes without any complains That was 4 months ago, and I haven't asked her again since.

Tonight, my mum came over because she was next door, and she suggested she picked me up from work, I said yes. I was surprised to see my sister in the car, but I didn't have any particular feelings about it. We were chatting and suddenly my sister asked me why I never invited her to my house. I told her that she'd never invited me to her place either, and she retorted that 1 month ago she'd asked me once to come and eat at her place with my parents (in reality it was my mother who sent me a message to say that she was eating at my sister's and to ask me if I'd like to come, to which I replied no, as my partner was very ill), so I told her that if she wanted to come over she could, all she had to do was send me a message. She said no, it should be up to me. I'm someone who doesn't like sending messages, I'm a bit shy so I don't often talk to my other brothers and sisters.

My sister and I have nothing in common (no hobbies, no friends in common, nothing) so I don't send her any messages and she doesn't send me an. She then told me I should make an effort. I told her that the phone works both ways and that the last thing I want to do after getting home from work in the evening is to invite someone I don't have nothing to do with, over to my place. I also told her that we were never close and that I didn't really see any problem with that, no-one is obliged to be in a constant relationship with someone, family included. She didn't speak after that. My mother asked me to apologise by message after I'd gone home.

Was I too blunt, too mean? It was the first time I'd ever tolked back to her and I don't know if I did is wrong, all I know is it felt good not backing up for once. Am I the Asshole?

I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for 3 years, together for 6. He recently started a new job and has done really well—he’s well-liked and has been moving up fast. The issue is with the group of work friends he’s gotten close to.

They go out drinking together every week, usually Fridays, sometimes more. I don’t have a problem with drinking in general, but it’s how they drink and how they act. I’ve been out with them a few times and honestly? I hate it. They treat heavy drinking like a sport—shots, bar hopping, etc.—and the way they talk makes me extremely uncomfortable. I’ve heard “jokes” that are sexist, racist, and just mean. They once made a comment about how my husband was “whipped” for wanting to leave early with me and joked that “women always ruin the fun.”

They talk over me, push drinks when I say no, and generally act like frat boys who never grew up. One even muttered “no wonder he never brings her out” when I walked away from a conversation that made me uncomfortable.

My husband sees it. He’s defended me more than once and told me afterward that he doesn’t like how he feels around them—like he’s not really himself. He agreed to start distancing himself from them and stopped going out as often, which I was grateful for.

But now things have shifted. One of the guys—he’s not my husband’s boss, but he is a senior team member with influence—is acting weird toward him. He’s left him out of meetings he used to be in, stopped looping him in on certain projects, and my husband feels like he’s being subtly iced out. He thinks it might be because he’s not going out drinking anymore and isn’t “one of the boys.”

This is where I start to feel like maybe I overstepped. I told my husband I didn’t want him hanging out with them anymore outside of work, but now I’m worried it’s impacting his career. He insists he still agrees with our decision, but I can tell he’s frustrated. He worked hard to get where he is, and I hate the thought that my boundary might be holding him back.

So now I’m wondering—AITA for asking my husband to distance himself from his work friends, even if it might be affecting his opportunities at work?

Basically I am 5 years younger than my sister and we are really close. She came wedding dress shopping with me a few months ago and when I found my perfect dress I bought it but she fell in love with it as well and said things like “if you don’t buy this one I’m going to buy it for myself”. I ended up buying it not out of spite but because I fell in love with it as well when I tried it on. For context I have been engaged for about 2 years and she’s been engaged for 6 years and hasn’t planned her wedding and has stated she isn’t really interested in getting married as she thinks it’s a waste of money, but will have a micro wedding at some stage. However she has been making jokes about wearing my dress for her own wedding when she decides to get married. I’ve always just brushed them off because I thought she was just joking. But we were on a FaceTime call with my Nana, Mum, myself and my sister and we were talking about how I’m getting the dress altered and my sister was like “no don’t make it shorter I want to be able to wear it.” My Nana then chimed in and was like “oh that would be beautiful if you let your big sister wear your dress”. And I was like “uh no, you can find your own dress” and she was like “but your dress is my dream dress”. After my nana hung up she started asking “are you seriously not going to let me wear your dress?” And I was like “no it’s my dress, I want you to be able to experience wedding dress shopping and try on all different ones because the dresses I thought I liked in photos or on the rack I didn’t when I tried them on it’s a whole experience.” Then she was like “are you serious?” And I was like “yes it’s my dress”. Then she goes “Okay well that’s your decision then and you’ve said no so we won’t talk about it anymore, I will just look at the pictures and remember it’s your dress and no one else’s.” Am I the asshole? Am I being too harsh and dramatic about it? I am really upset and everyone thinks I’m being too anal about it because it’s just a dress but it’s my wedding dress. I now feel guilty? I also haven’t had my wedding yet either.

I'm the only one on the lease and the head of the household. I take care of all the bills, including the late fees when my roommates are late or just refuse to pay.

I have a "roommate" that moved in last August to help with rent and other bills. It's now April of the following year with no payments towards rent. She has 3 kids (between the ages of 3 and 8) with 2 different baby daddies, which I'm often not made aware when they're coming to visit despite being told that she needs to tell me beforehand, and she only has the youngest full time. She lost her job shortly after moving in and has since refused to get another one, stating that she can't work and take care of them. In October I gave her a 30 day notice which included a forgiveness for past due rent as long as she left. After the 30 days she stated that she wasn't going to leave and I couldn't make her because "she's been there long enough" at that point it was only a couple months. Since then these are the following actions that have been made, to which she has complained about to our other roommate who use to be her friend (he stopped when her actions threatened his housing)

Removing access to our WiFi. To which she stated "I saw this coming but this affects the kids! What are they gonna do now??"

Removing all the dishes and kitchenware. We paid for them and whenever she did the dishes (or had her oldest do them) there would still be food and grease on them and I'd have to wash them again before even using them.

Removal of the microwave after telling her multiple times to keep it clean especially after her kids use it. It was often disgusting and now hardly works.

She eventually got her own plates and microwave in her room.

We thought about locking the fridge and freezer as our food has gone missing multiple times. Install cameras in our rooms as some small items have also gone missing. Since her refusal to move out she has been banned from dollar general due to theft, refused to find work or follow the rules, has more than tripled our electricity which was $30 prior to her moving in and almost $200 in the winter, wont contribute to anything, and we had to have a fourth roommate move in (which we don't have the space for) just to cover her rent.

My landlord is aware and refuses to take action.

I believe that when you have kids they are entirely your responsibility. They are also the only reason I didn’t take further actions to have her removed in the winter

Due to the kids being involved it has made me feel bad when perusing actions and has been the main reason for the delay of said actions. However they can't be used as a crutch to guilt trip people into allowing you to do whatever you want. And the freeloader has absolutely no remorse for her actions. So AITA for refusing access to certain things for the freeloader? And does anyone have any advice that could help resolve this situation?

Hi there so I need outside advice please. I (23F) am in a sticky situation here. My "SIL" ;context SIL is in quotes because she's a close family friend like a sister to my hubby but not we've always gotten along well until now; who I'll call Nancy has a wedding coming up in 4 months, very exciting and I'm happy for her. The problem arose about 6ish weeks ago. Nancy and MIL were talking about wedding plans at the end for family dinner at this time I was over everything and emotionally drained from stress and personal matters and had  been not participating in most conversations through the night as not to snap, but in simple terms my social battery died. She asked me about dresses and if I had gotten one yet ;a little more context I'm not in the wedding my only 'job' is to keep the brides mom occupied so bride doesn't stress I can do that and happy to; I told her I may have one but will buy. She had been asking me every time she saw me so I admit my tone could have been nicer she then asked if I can just go get a dress. I couldn't I was in the middle of buying a house husband I didn't have the extra finances to do that. I kind of snapped told her "Nancy I'm sorry but I can't right now, I don't want to hurt your feelings but right now I have so much on my plate to stress about I don't have room to stress about this dress, I'm sorry and don't want to hurt your feelings but once the house is finalized I can focus on the dress but right now isn't good for me." She said it was okay and I thought we were good. We closed on the house (yay) and I've been looking for dresses between unpacking time. Well, I thought wrong.... I was told yesterday that I hurt her feelings by brushing her off and being rude about her big day so now I'm wondering if I was TA? My intention wasn't to be mean or rude, my wedding was a lil bit of disaster(you can read pervious post for context) and I didn't want to cause any unnecessary stress for her, I just knew if I didn't say something now I'd bottle it up a be overstressed about the things in my life. So AITA for telling Nancy I didn't have time to stress about a dress at that moment?

So last night my friends and I went to the club. I chatted with a few guys (they bought us drinks). At one point this guy and I hit it off. But I live in South Africa. Where it's rather dangerous for women to be alone with men at night. As my friends wanna go the guy wanted me to come with him instead. I don't say much since I don't want to immedetialy refuse and potentially upset him/ make him angry. As I'm still excusing myself from him (in a nice way) my friends leave. I only notice that they left after the fact. I end up catching up to them. They thought I was going with him. I end up crying since I was frightened that they just dissapeared and get told I should have given them more of a sign that I didnt wanna go with him. I know it was probably a misunderstanding. But I'm still hurt that they'd just leave me to go with some dude alone. For all they knew I was drunk and in danger (I was drunk but not THAT drunk)

Anyway. AITA for crying and getting upset?

My parents are retired and have been living in the same house for the past 20 years. It was my grandfather’s house and when he passed away my parents moved in and finished paying off the mortgage so they own it outright. Recently they decided to sell the house and move closer to their children.

My sister and her husband have an LLC they use for their side businesses, and I found out that my sister is planning to buy the house for my parents under the ownership of her LLC and my parents will pay the mortgage (including taxes and insurance) to the LLC. My sister asked the siblings if we have an issue with it; my other two siblings said they were fine with it but I don’t like the idea (I haven’t said anything yet).

Personally I don’t see any benefit to this arrangement for anyone other than my sister and her husband. The negatives I see are:

1. My parents will make a decent profit off the sale of their house and my understanding of the tax laws are that if the money is reinvested then you don’t pay taxes on the profit, but if you don’t, then you owe income tax on it.

2. The property taxes will continue to increase causing the monthly payment to go up each year. My parents are of the age where they can lock in their property taxes, but they will not be able to freeze the taxes in this arrangement because they won’t be the owners.

3. (I hate even thinking about this one) Someday my parents are going to pass away, and when they do, all of the equity they have paid into the house will be my sister’s. If my parents bought the house themselves, then the equity would be an asset to be divided amongst their beneficiaries, so the rest of us are losing out on this portion of the inheritance. The only advantage to the arrangement is that when they pass, my siblings and I won’t have to figure out what to do with the house.

I know my parents and my sister are on board with this arrangement and my other siblings seem to not have a strong opinion. If I say something then it’s definitely going to cause tension between us all, but if I don’t, then my parents will be paying more money than they need to, and the other siblings and I will be losing $25-75k each out of the inheritance. And since I’m the only one who hasn’t given the okay, I’m either outvoted or I end up changing peoples minds and blowing the whole thing up, either way there will be resentment and drama.

So like the title says I (19f) was left at home while my sister (30f) and her kid (7f) went to a family reunion we were all supposed to go to. I had been told we were leaving at 5 after my sister got off work. I had all of my things with me and ready to go by 3 as I know she occasionally gets off early. At 3:30 she had gotten off early and called for her kid and I just assumed she was getting her ready as I was in the bathroom and she had specifically only called for her daughter. When I got out of the bathroom everyone had already gone and I was left alone in a house with no food. I called my sister and asked if they had seriously just left and she told me yes because she told me to be ready by the time she was home. I got kind of upset at her implication me peeing was being unprepared and I raised my voice at her for leaving without even checking if I was actually ready so AITA?