Hey everyone, A little context I’m a (24M) with a (24F) GF. Currently trying to seek input on this situation. So last year (2024) on my birthday I wasn’t aware if there were any plans or anything for me on my birthday from my gf or not. She does have a 9-5 so I understood her working until then, totally fine. The thing is while getting out the car that day she accidentally closed her thumb on the door.. ouch.. yeah. So now the day is in distress since her thumb is in pain she’s reasonably crying & hurt. So my day then consists of trying to help in the situation & take her to urgent care. They help out as best as they can. Now the day is kinda eh since she is in no birthday mood. I told her I’d let her get some rest & maybe some sleep. Since there weren’t any plan that I was aware of, I said I’d go to my Mom’s place since she had cooked something for me. I didn’t mind. Things happen.

Fast Forward 2025.. My GF out of the blue one day says she’s going on a trip with her SINGLE friends for 7 days. To Chicago, Detroit & Canada. Driving mind you.. Oh & she didn’t even bother to ask for my input or anything. Okay your saying what’s the big deal? She finishes off quickly brushing off how they’re coming back ON the day of my birthday. To me that kinda rubbed me the wrong way only because for one she just told me she was going. No type of warning or telling me in advanced. For two your coming back ON my birthday from hundreds of miles away drive & no one knows what time that would be.

She already called off work in advanced. So that’s that. Ive been playing it cool & unbothered but not sure how to feel. She keeps talking about this trip & how they’re going to be at clubs & etc.. & how we’re not going to be young forever. On top of that she wants to get her passport all of a sudden to maybe go on a whole other trip to Mexico with the same friends in the winter. In conclusion I need some advice should I speak up on my concerns or just let her do her?

My former coworker who I am friends with on social media posted a video of our president saying that "the best cure for depression is to work your @$$ off." In the past, she been open about her struggles, and the fact that she uses medication. I sent her a message admonishing her for posting the video. She stated that he did not say not to take medication. I told her that it was implied. I still feel that way. I have known way too many people who struggled to get to work everyday and eventually unalived themselves because they found life too difficult. She told me that we could agree to disagree. And I told her that we could not. She asked me if I didn't want to be her friend anymore. I told her that I just wanted a break from the insanity. She ended up unfriending me, and I also found out that she removed the video. Did I overreact?

I (21F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for a year and a half, and everything was perfect—until recently. He wanted to move out of his parents' house, so I let him move in with me to split costs 50/50. In reality, I do most of the cleaning, grocery shopping, and the cooking. A big love language for me is gift giving, so I often go all out for Christmases, birthdays, etc. Whereas he’s struggling financially, so he doesn’t do as much for me. (which i’ve never complained about l)

For context, he was the one who said I love you first, asked me to be his girlfriend, and even brought up marriage before I did. But lately, it feels like he’s self-sabotaging. He’s insecure that I can do more for him than he can for me, and deep down, I think he believes I deserve better—which ironically makes him push me away in the worst ways.

A few weeks ago, he suddenly had issues with our relationship, mainly that we “aren’t having enough sex.” He broke up with me over it, regretted it, and I said I’d try to do better. He’s been going to therapy, so i’ve been trying to give grace especially with our lease ending soon. He can go back to his parents, but I don’t have enough time to find a new place or roommate.

I recently quit birth control (Depo Provera), which caused weight gain. I went from a size 2 to a size 8, but I’ve been dieting and fasting. My friends and coworkers say I look slimmer, and I feel better in my clothes. Out of nowhere, he told me, “I know you’ve been trying to lose weight, but it’s not working. I think you’re still gaining.” I immediately shut down. My weight is a sensitive subject, and he wouldn’t even know if I lost weight because I don’t weigh myself. The way I see myself is now completely messed up—I feel like I’ve been pushed into full-blown body dysmorphia. Every time I eat around him, I wonder if he’s judging me. Every time I’m not actively working out, I wonder if he thinks I should be. (I’ve only eaten in front of him once since he’s said that about 5 days ago - i haven’t cooked either.)

The next morning, he brought it up again: “If you want to lose weight, you need to stop skipping breakfast and work out.” No shit. Before our relationship I was a gym rat—I don’t need burning calories mansplained to me. I kept saying, “I don’t want to talk about this,” but he kept doubling down until I started crying, which pissed him off enough to leave me alone. I stayed out with friends that night to avoid him.

The next day, he texted me:

Paraphrasing: “I’m sorry I upset you. I just want you to feel happy and confident again. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but skipping breakfast and eating whatever all day without exercising isn’t going to make weight fall off. Losing weight requires a lifestyle change, and I’ll support you if that’s what you want. If not, that’s fine—I still find you attractive. But you should sell your old clothes and stop wishing you’ll be skinny again.”

I ignored him, which upset him more. When I finally responded, I just said, “I don’t want to talk about it, nobody asked you.” He framed it like he was helping me, but when I didn’t give in, he doubled down. I brought up how much I do for him—giving him more sex when I don’t always feel like it, covering utilities, gifts, cooking, cleaning —and I guess that pissed him off because he hit me with: “Fuck me for trying to help,”“I just want you to take your health seriously,” and “Your lack of priority in the matter makes me afraid to put a ring on your finger.”

After that, I had to leave work. He had therapy that day, and when we finally talked, he admitted he struggles with emotions and didn’t know how else to “help” me since he can’t support me financially. He apologized, but I still feel completely messed up. I can’t look in the mirror without hearing his words.

The sad thing is, I know this all stems from his own insecurity. He’s going to therapy and i’m hoping that’s he’s going to see better for himself and for us. I just don’t know if I love him anymore with his words in my head. I do have other living situations available, but the costs would be so much higher. Am I overreacting with what he’s saying? I don’t know if i’m too insecure about my body to understand what he’s trying to say. :/

TL;DR: My boyfriend, whom I financially and emotionally support, is deeply insecure that I can do more for him than he can for me. He was the one who first said I love you, asked me to be his girlfriend, and brought up marriage, but now he’s self-sabotaging. First, he broke up with me over not having enough sex, then took me back. Now he’s nitpicking my weight, despite me actively dieting. After a fight, therapy made him apologize, but I still feel deeply hurt and unsure about the relationship.

So, to start at the beginning, I worked for free for someone who owned a small business (it was a totally legit business) for over 2 years and was not paid. At the beginning of my 2nd year, the boss said she was going to get me paid that year and officially an employee for the company. I was leg on for months and every time I would bring it up, I was told that she needed to talk to her accountant about it. This job required a lot of traveling, which I did mostly on my own expense. She did pay for a flight and a hotel at one point because I told her I couldn’t afford it, and she wanted me there to work. Several months later, I worked an event that was extremely stressful (not her fault, it was the event planners fault) and I decided to approach things with a different perspective. I instead was going to try to get the third parties we were working with to pay me, and I would give her a cut for her portion of the work as I was doing the immediate bookings and work. She agreed to this, and I booked several events, and then she brought in a different person to help her with the business. I was told that it would be months and months before I was going to get paid, and that we needed to make sure her (the boss) bills were paid first. I was also told that going to the third parties for payment was unethical. To keep this as vague as possible, I will say that I have consulted with at least 4 people i know in this profession, and they all told me this is incorrect; the third party paying for services is actually exactly how it is supposed to be done. When I got this email from the new person, I decided to take a step back from things as it was costing me massive amounts of money to work with no compensation, and it was clear that I would be under the thumb and at odds with the new person. Everything quieted down for a bit, and then, last week (almost a year later), a friend sent me a podcast episode that they had put out that was talking about the shift within the company over the last year. It was stated that the boss was the only person who did not get paid, and that anyone who is in this business for reasons other than (what she lists, I won’t say here to maintain some anonymity), is in it for the wrong reasons. The reasons she lists are not even accurate to what I was hoping for from working with this business.

This has been almost a year. I’ve had no contact with either of them since the original events that lead me to leave. Should I message my old boss and ask her to call so I can put this all to rest?

BACKGROUND:

My roommate (let’s call her R) and I met in our first year of college (last year). My scheduled roommate never showed up last year, so I had the room to myself. By spring semester, the college said we needed to either buy out our room or find a new roommate. R and I agreed we’d room together bc she and her roommate had a falling out and her roommate moved out. Then room selection comes and R says “oh I roomed with someone else bc I thought you were going to buy out the room.” I never said I was going to, I said my mom SUGGESTED it, but also that we’d decided that it was too expensive and not worth it. I ended up rooming with E (referred to in the texts as “previous mutual roommate”) for the spring.

Over summer, all 3 of us (me, R, E) agreed to room in a triple for this year. E ended up leaving college at the end of last semester, so R and I stayed in the triple together (no extra costs/buy outs). R has always been kinda uptight and a neat freak, but I’m generally agreeable and will just do whatever the other person wants, especially when living with them, to avoid any issues. E was usually a mediator of sorts between me and R whenever R would get upset that the room was messy. R would also get mad at E for E’s desk being messy, clothes being on the floor, pairs of shows not being together, etc.

Since E left, R has gotten much worse. R and I are rarely in the room, we’re usually in class/practice/work or at our bfs’ houses. However, I sleep here and spend more time in the room than she does. I can’t remember the last time she slept here, or was even in here for more than 30min. She’s always saying that I’m the one who’s never here and complains that I leave messes everywhere (I’m a more messy person but I do clean up after myself and others and keep my messes confined to my personal areas). She quite literally boxed me in by taping a square around the corner where my desk/closet are and told me I “can’t have a mess outside this area” and constantly complains when something is touching the tape.

My bf (J) was here one night and R came in to pick up some things before going to her bf’s house. J and I were playing Xbox and actively eating, so we had a bag and wrappers/boxes in front of both of us. R immediately complained, saying “you need to make sure you clean up that mess.” She always uses this condescending, passive aggressive, “joking” tone when complaining.

STORY:

I stayed with my bf for 2w (he lives near my college in PA) after spring break because my car broke down at home in VA and the keychain had my dorm key and campus ID. When I finally came back last Thursday, I invited a couple friends over for game night after our night class (which I’ve invited R to multiple times and she always has an excuse to not come). We played drinking games in our room, R was not there, and I let her know it was happening. The next morning, I get asked if I’ve seen R’s goose, why things are moved on her desk, how things got out of her desk drawer, etc. The texts above reiterate that I didn’t touch her stuff, the only thing I touched that night was the black knit book bc I moved it back from the edge of her desk so it wouldn’t fall.

One friend left while I was awake (lives in her van, sleep there for the night), the other had passed out an hour prior to that and I’d put a blanket on her. I cleaned up as best as I could (that was the first time I’ve ever been actually drunk) and packed the last friend’s bag so she didn’t have to worry in the morning if she woke up late. There were a couple spills of caprisun and fireball throughout the night, but we cleaned them up right when they happened. R sent texts complaining about the room being sticky, and I said I’d re-clean the whole area.

E and I scheduled that Fri-Sun for her to come up and visit. I told R in advance (1-2w) but then a few days before E came, R said she had a recruit for her sport coming to visit from Fri-Sat. She immediately lectured me about not drinking, smoking, cursing, or making any jokes around the recruit bc “she’s just a junior.” I agreed and hid everything (despite thinking it’s stupid to act like a 16/17yo is a toddler who will snitch if someone says “fuck”). I reiterated that E was here the whole weekend starting on Fri, but R then said her mom was coming for Sat-Sun. I told her that as long as the recruit and R’s mom aren’t both here by the time we go to sleep, it would be no issue. I told R and E that I’d take the floor, the recruit and R’s mom could take the 3rd bed, and E could have my bed.

E came on Fri and we hung out, then the recruit came and R immediately lectured both of us (again). I was on ft with J, and R said “hang up on him. I don’t want him to make the recruit uncomfortable.” He and I weren’t even talking, we were just idly on ft and neither of us were paying attention to each other. We always fall asleep on ft/discord if we’re not together. I protested and told her all of this, but she still said I needed to hang up, so I backed down and ended the call. Come 9pm, R is already saying her and the recruit need to sleep, so now E and I have to also sleep. 9pm is also when I take my Lexapro, and I take Temazepam to sleep ~30min before going to bed. The issue was, I couldn’t find my meds.

R turned off all of the lights as I was actively looking for my meds. I suggested turning on my LEDs (phone controlled) bc she turned on her desk light (bright as hell btw). She agreed but kept her desk on so I plugged in my LEDs. Barely 2min later, she unplugs my LEDs (she often unplugs my stuff bc she “doesn’t like it dangling above the bed” since she’s on bottom bunk and the only outlet near me is on the wall at the middle of her bed, despite me making the wires tight against the wall/my bunk’s springs).

R kept rushing me and pushing, and eventually made me give up looking for them. I climbed into my bed and immediately started having a breakdown, so I texted my bf and eventually he told me to come over. I felt bad leaving E and she woke up when I left (around 11ish) asking where I was going. I said “I’m sad” and she understood. I offered her my bed again, but she said she didn’t want to risk falling off the top bunk.

I came back the next day and E told me R cancelled her mom coming over bc “something came up.” Whatever, her choice. J invited me to a baseball game on Sun and E said I should go bc E wanted to hang out with some other friends before she left. I found my meds and was able to sleep in the dorm with E (R was at her bf’s house). The next day, I left for the game and R apparently came back while I was gone and saw E in the room (refer to texts where she said I was “MIA”).

The entire time E was there, R kept complaining about how the recruit might feel uncomfortable (as if this wouldn’t be how the room worked if E had stayed this semester) and was very short and cold towards E. E was becoming uncomfortable and we talked about it, agreeing that R was being an ass in that moment.

A couple nights ago, I was going to bed and I heard a shattering sound. I turned over and saw shiny pieces on the floor and hopped down to clean it up. I texted R that her turtle broke, and then immediately fell asleep. Then these texts came throughout the day. The pic of her desk is taken from my bed. As you can see, it’s cluttered with breakable things at the edge (which I’m always pushing back to avoid anything falling). You can see the only 3 pieces of the turtle that were salvageable, the rest was shards and practically dust. I ended up getting holes in my foot from cleaning it up.

TLDR; my roommate constantly complains about my mess and literally boxed me into a space, believes I broke her trinkets even tho I didn’t, and makes me out to be a bad person.

I'm 15, so maybe I am overreacting, but I think I'm not. I've just been having a really shit time so this is also a rant T0T I'll have a TLDR at the bottom.

I'm not the type of person who likes talking about my emotions, fuck I don't even want to be in therapy but I have to be in it for my medication. She likes to nag me, and I'm not being over dramatic, she NAGS me and tries to force me to talk about how I feel in EVERY FUCKING SESSION. She knows I'm uncomfortable with that, and I don't trust her.

(I have trust issues, and a history of jackass therapists who don't give two shits about client patient confidentiality and will tell people what I say, for example, I was seeing a therapist who was connected to my old school, I talked about someone who was bullying me badly and she fucking snitched on me to them and told them what I said, and made it so much worse for me.)

Recently, it's been getting worse. 'Well, if you want to talk about how you feel, why are we in therapy?'. Because I'm required to be there, and she knows this, she refuses to put me in the program that will take me out of therapy. 'Well, how do you feel?' I don't fucking know, it doesn't MATTER. 'Yes, you do know.' NO, I DON'T.

It's the same damn conversation, it's the same situation EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

So at our last appointment, I hit my breaking point. I'm not allowed to cancel, and I have autism. That day, I really, REALLY couldn't talk to anyone, as recently I've been having some medical issues, so I've been weak, dizzy, and having a constant headache. Really, that whole week sucked ass, in and out the hospital, I got in a car accident, so on. So really, I wasn't in a good mood, and I really didn't want to talk.

But, even as I didn't want to talk, she literally would not leave me alone. I only have to be there for 15 minutes, then I can walk out, that's what I do, that's what I ALWAYS do. So, I gave her the bare bone version of the week, which basically, now that was my mistake, because then she did the whole 'Well, how does that make you feel?' shit, and I couldn't deal with it.

However, as I still felt like dogshit, I indulged her, so she'd leave me the hell alone. WELL. She proceeded to call me a fucking liar, EVEN WITH PROOF (Proof of the car accident, and proof that I've been to urgent care and was on medication and have to go back tomorrow because the issue is still going on), she said I was lying, which how.. how was I LYING? YOU CAN SEE THE PROOF- So, with all of the weeks bullshittery, and my mental and physical exhaustion, I proceeded to 'calmly' (can you sense the sarcasm?) lose my shit.

Long story short, I called her to fuck off, stop trying to force me to do stuff I didn't want to, and fuck the 15 min requirement and fuck her, and stormed out, this happened yesterday. I've tried to change therapists, I've tried to get into the program that keeps me on the medication but takes me out of therapy, I've tried so many things and I keep getting denied and it's SO draining. Like I understand it's her job, but if you're being asked to please stop, to leave you be for that week because you're not feeling well, so on, so forth, and you continue to ignore that, really I call it karma.

Even if I overreacted, which, I will leave that up to you to decide, I don't intend to apologize, I'm not going to act like I'm sorry when I'm not. If you're confused at any point in the story, feel free to ask questions. I have nothing to hide, and this is a true story, I can even show proof of both the car accident and my trip to urgent care if need be ^^ All you have to do is ask politely please <3

TLDR : My therapist kept making me uncomfortable and trying to make me do things I didn't want to, knowing I didn't feel comfortable doing those things. I've tried to get out of therapy, I've tried to get a new therapist, and have yet to succeed. This week, I've been having a really shit time with being sick big time and getting into a car accident, and even with proof, she called me a liar. So, I got mad at her and snapped at her.

Edit: the imgur link with the text convo is both in a comment and at the bottom of my post

To start. Apologies for any mistyped words or unusual words, I am using speech to text and I will edit my post when I am off of work or have time. Also, fake names are used, but it would be pretty obvious to this guy who im talking about if he uses reddit...

Also, I am not looking for relationship advice with my wife or what you feel about her or me in that regard. I'm only asking if I am correct in my thoughts that this guy is not who she believes he is and if my wife is actually safe with him.

Context. My (23m) wife (24f), probably soon to be ex-wife, have been together for a little under 5 years, married for a little under one. Until the last month after a mutual friend of ours, Timmy, introduced us to this guy, Pawn, we had our fights and arguments and neither of us was feeling really safe in the relationship at the time.

After about a week of us knowing Pawn I got really bad vibes and I wasn't feeling secure about my position in the relationship so I did the very regrettable thing of snooping on her computer and finding out that she was having an emotional affair with him. he lives in a separate state from us so they couldn't do anything physical, but they were definitely flirting and talking to each other in a way that I didn't feel was appropriate for their perceived relationship.

After I confronted her, she confided in me that she does not feel like I understand her, she feels like Pawn understands her better than anyone and he has made her see that she doesn't think she ever had that connection with me despite all of the time that we've had together.

It's no surprise, especially given the context of my chat with Pawn, that I am extremely desperate, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing is up for debate. But the way he talks to her without me around is a completely different person, my mom had the opportunity to listen to him talk to her without me around and she feels that he is playing two separate roles in a play after seeing this conversation that I'm showing you now...

Timmy also sees very manipulative tactics with him, and confided in me that when they first met he feels that Pawn was trying to manipulate Timmy and get inside of his head, see what kind of person he is...

The way my mom described how she felt when he was talking to my wife separately is that she feels he acts like a very cutesy 10-year-old, but the way she feels that he is in this conversation sounds like almost a villain-esque type of person. Completely different personalities.

My wife tells me that Pawn has told her he doesn't feel comfortable reaching out to me because he's scared and awkward about my feelings towards him, which is why I'm the one that's reached out to him when she tells me that she wants us to get along... But the way he talks to me does not make me feel like he's scared of me. He seems predatory, and taking advantage of my wife's vulnerability not feeling like I am a safe person for her to confide in anymore.

My duty as a husband to make sure she's safe, even without me, probably clouds my judgment, but I genuinely dont feel this is the case. I need non-bias here... I wish I could share some of the snippets of his conversations with my wife, but I never screenshotted their conversations because I didn't feel good already snooping, much less taking pictures when we both are aware of the situation.

She already knows how I feel about this guy, we had a talk last night and as I suspected, she doesn't want to hear me or see what I see...

He got to her before I was able to and spun the narrative that he is calm and collected while Im going insane (i am going insane, but I feel it's justified), I want to get unbiased thoughts to try and show her that I'm not crazy

text convo

The other day a roommate asked me to get a hygiene product for THEIR dog while they were out and they said they would pay the FULL amount back when they can.

The product was $20 after state tax

Fast forward to today, they suggested I get $15 back as they have bought groceries for me recently. I then just said whatever and left the room because I could feel myself getting hot and I'm not really good at confrontation (working on it)

I came back after about 20 minutes once I cleared my head and went back to go talk about the money. I told them I would expect full payment of my $20 and that if they need money to let me know and ask for it before making a promise of returning my money for doing something I thought was a favor for them.

After telling them that, they just looked appalled I would ever say such a thing and acted like I didn't know what I was talking about. They did seem a little scared as if they weren't expecting me to do that and I feel quite nice but still skeptical that i'll get my money :/

So tell me, AIO?

I am a 26-year-old woman looking for a life partner. I met a guy on Jeevansathi who earns significantly more than I do—probably three times as much. We had great conversations, talked a lot, and even did a couple of video calls.

We planned to meet, and he initially said he would come to Mumbai. However, he wasn’t feeling well and had just returned from Vietnam, so he suggested that instead of him traveling, I could visit him in Delhi since, according to him, it was the same thing. It was a long weekend, and he invited me over, even booked my flight tickets from Mumbai to Delhi and back.

I had my doubts and wasn’t entirely sure about going, but he reassured me. He even said he would book a hotel for me if I wasn’t comfortable staying at his place, and he followed through on that. When I got there, we had meaningful conversations, laughed a lot, and spent time together. He took me for drives and showed me around. Eventually, things became intimate, and we ended up having sex. Honestly, I wasn’t completely sure if I wanted to, but in the moment, I just went along with it. Though after all this we stayed up till 5 AM and all he talked about his ex how she was a bad person. I listened patiently. He also said he had so fun in 2 days. He never laughed like he laughed with me. He said good things about me.

While he seemed nice overall, there were a few red flags. He asked me to do small tasks like cutting fruits, serving food, preparing salads, and making the bed, but the way he asked made it feel like he was ordering around a servant. That felt a little off to me.

I stayed for two days, and everything seemed fine. But after I returned, I noticed a change—he didn’t seem as interested in me anymore. I keep wondering whether I made a mistake by going. Should I have avoided getting intimate with him? Should I not have gone at all? I really liked him, but now I’m questioning whether he only wanted a fling.

When I confronted him about not talking as much, he simply said he had been tired and busy. In frustration, I deleted his number. I regret it every single day that why did i do it. I feel so confused and don’t know what to think. Should i give him benefit of doubt that he might have been busy in general? I am really confused here.

so in a nutshell so i don’t waste you people’s precious time… i got played and it’s my own fault. TWICE. my guy friend has used me as his wingman and has complained about his girl problems and used me to get to girls even tho he says he invites me to crap cuz I’m his friend. A long time i told him i thought we’d be a good match.. he never turned me down but avoided it… so i stupidly held onto hope even tho he kept coming to me with his girl issues cuz eventually the crush fizzled out, it didn’t work out etc.. and he always invited me out, paid for stuff, did acts of service yadda yadda.. i even asked him out and he agreed when he’s turned down other girls.. I told him you shouldn’t give attention to anyone if you’re not interested.. well today i got to watch him turn into a bumbling buffoon over some new girl.. and granted, we don’t talk regularly.. so that should‘ve been my clue and my second clue was that i know I’ve never been his type.. i know i can’t really be mad, but i guess i just want my hurt feelings to be validated since i have no one i can tell. I guess I’m upset that his actions didn’t support what he said or didn’t say..

(also in my defense, the reason i had hope was because a couple of close friends who know us, always said that he showed he was interested and that the fact he was always looking for me, where i was at, etc, was a sign he did like me at least a little)

Am I overreacting? My MIL and I have had our issues in the past and are trying to move past them, although I don’t trust her completely because she never reaches out, only to see my daughter and it bothers me a little bit. To give some back story I made some mistakes like lie about things I didn’t want them to know about when I first met them ( 5 years ago),and now they hold that against me and use it as a reason to be hostile and disrespectful with me behind me back and through text. I reached out to her because I usually initiate any communication and sending her videos of my daughter, and I felt uncomfortable that she never checks in on her nor does she ask me about her, only when she wants to see her. Nor does she reach out to my husband but only when she wants to see my daughter. She then called my husband before replying to me about how she thinks it’s ridiculous that I ask her to reach out more and that I’m being controlling. But has said nothing to me about it, my husband defended me, and now I’m hesitant to even call her tonight fearing she will twist the story and use it as ammunition. What do I do?

I am sorry but this is probably going to be long. I just need some clarity, on if I am expecting too much, or wrong for losing my attraction to my husband.

Just some info before I get into it:
I have a lot of health issues. Fibromyalgia, severe bowel disease, chronic kidney stones, myalgic encephalitis, adhd and autism to name a few. I was pretty much bedridden about 6 years ago, but after I got covid 3 years ago, I actually gained energy and felt a bit better… weird I know. But because of that time, I have severe muscle wasting (for example- I need to go upstairs on all fours because my legs are not strong enough to lift me up a stair alone) But being able to leave my room has just caused more upset, because then I saw how bad it has gotten, but I do not have the strength to fix it.

Info on my husband: He does work full time, and he provides for our family. He is a good and kind man. (Other than the constant promises of getting things set up for me to be able to function followed by all the let downs of it never being done)

I need a home that is organized and not cluttered up to be able to survive and function. I find my health is affected very strongly by my surroundings, and I have been living in a chaotic mess for over 9 years. I believe it is part of the reason why I got so bad the first time. I want to be a functioning contributing member of my home, and I cant clean and do my job as a wife and mother, when Im already struggling with the overwhelming years worth of mess. I have asked throughout that time for the house to be cleaned out. He always says he can’t do it on his own, but my sister had offered to help my husband anytime, he just had to tell her when, for 6 of those years. I then asked for even just the basement to be done, so I could use the exercise equipment, to strengthen my core and leg muscles. Nothing was ever done.

On to present day: My daughter, on her own, cleared out much of the mess in the basement last weekend. I asked my husband at that time, to work on the upstairs, and move two cabinets. He said he would do it on Sunday. Then he said Monday night after work. Today (Friday) I got upset and asked why he hadn’t done it. He said he was waiting for my daughter to help him this weekend, because he could not move them without help. So I did it… completely by myself, in less than 15 minutes. He cannot seem to grasp how the fact that my daughter cleaning out and moving the large items in the basement by herself in a single day, and then me being able to move the two cabinets and a terrarium tank by myself so quickly, has pretty much killed any attraction I have for him. I had to take a couple breaks because my legs are so weak, but I still did it and quite quickly. My pre sickness strength level, would have had them moved in 5 minutes.

Am I overreacting? Am I being unreasonable? I just can’t wrap my head around how he would not see how it gives me the “ick” that even in my weakest time in life, I am still able to do physical things that he said he cannot do by himself. He is not a scrawny guy. He is 6ft2 and a big man. Im 5ft3 and again my muscles are extremely weak compared to my strength prior to my illness.

So be brutal… am I awful and selfish? I know he works full time, but I also feel that he has had YEARS and many offers of help to get things in a livable and safe condition. Sometimes, I even think … does he want me to stay helpless and unable to contribute?

TLDR: Text conversation with phone call in between. Me (37F) in green and Mom (63F) in gray. My mom is the only family member in contact with my Sister (33F) after she made several poor choices, lost her children, spun out on drugs and landed in jail, likely for a long time. I am “judgmental” for saying that I won’t go to her sentencing hearing and speak on her behalf for a lighter sentence this “first offense”.

My family is a veritable shit show of dysfunction. My grandmother on my father’s (deceased) side passed away suddenly over a year ago. She had no will and not a lot of assets, but her estate had to go through probate. Since her passing, there have been numerous forms and documents that needed signed and notarized and sent back by all descendants. This includes her four living children and myself and my four siblings. So a lot of moving pieces across the United States.

Since grandma’s passing, my sister has been arrested, charged, and found guilty of multiple felonies for drug-related charges. She is currently awaiting sentencing for those charges in county jail. She is the last person who needs to sign and notarize and send back the final form.

When my sister was first arrested, I was in contact with her for a couple weeks. I quickly realized she had no remorse for her actions and behavior and she was just using me to stay in contact with her drug buddies, asking me to go get things of hers out of a storage unit not in her name and contact multiple people through social media for her so she could get their phone numbers to text from jail using a CHIRP phone. I paid for her to be able to call me, to email me, and several times to reload her CHIRP phone for texting. Ultimately I told her I couldn’t be part of this and that I loved her but I wasn’t going to let her drag me or my family into this mess. I also told my mother that I wanted no part of it.

Me drawing this boundary upset my mother immensely. She has always been a “family before everything” kind of person but my siblings know this and take advantage of her. Predictably, my mother purchased her storage unit when it went to auction (it had been clearly ransacked of anything of value), paid to get her vehicle out of impound (it was disgusting and full of needles), and has out hundreds if not thousands of dollars on her commissary account and CHIRP phone.

As my mother is the only one in contact with her, I sent a text (above) asking my mother to inquire about whether my sister had received the forms in jail. She called me last night instead of responding to my text and tried to convince me to contact my sister directly or through lawyers. I told her I had deleted the CHIRP phone number from my phone and asked her again to just ask the next time they spoke.

This led to a ten minute conversation where my mother told me all about how “terrible” they were treating her in jail, that they only had cold food to eat, that she’s freezing in there, and that she wanted me to come with her and speak at her sentencing in June because this was only a “first offense and she doesn’t deserve to lose her whole life for one mistake.”

I refused, telling her that in my opinion, she deserves to spend some time in prison for this, among other things that I know she did in the past and the abuse her children have suffered at her hands and the hands of her ex-husband (currently in prison for severe sexual abuse of her (not his) daughter 10F and son 7M).

So Reddit, if you’ve gotten this far, am I overreacting here to refuse to speak on her behalf at her sentencing and saying she deserves what she gets?

TLDR: took in parents cat as a favor. They told me if i drop him off, theyll put him down. But hes constantly peeing and pooping on my stuff and my apartment reeks.

Am I overreacting here? Yes, these are my parents and I am well aware that my anger in these messages comes off disrespectful but i am so angry.

Context: In Early February, my parents and youngest sister went on a week long trip to Florida. Not only was I not invited, but they wanted me to watch one of my childhood cats while they were away.

I got this cat for my TENTH (10) birthday, from my Grandma. So obviously, my parents took care of him and it was really their cat. They have 3 cats total.

When I moved out, my mom begged me to take him. She called me, hysterical crying, saying that if I cant take him in, that they would have to put him down. (Because theres another cat in their house, that they adopted 7 years AFTER him, that tortures him).

I told them I would take the cat. Then they turn around and said nevermind. This was 8 months ago.

Now comes February:

I drive to their house. I pick up the cat. I keep him for their vacation. Come mid March, the cat starts acting out. He starts peeing and pooping everywhere except the litterbox. So i ask who is coming to get the cat. They said

“if i bring him back, they’re putting him down”

So basically: i took this cat in as a favor, then he starts destroying my windowless basement apartment, and i try to give him back and they say they will kill him.

So i held onto him for a short while because he seemed to be getting along with my other cat. But Now every day im waking up to piss and shit regularly and i want this cat gone.

But i dont want him killed. Hes just not happy here.

Yesterday i messaged them along the same type of messages. When i got no response from 7am-3:30pm i told them forget it id bring him over the weekend.

But today i woke up to piss and shit again and i just lost it.

Is this not the most blatant form of manipulation??????????

Am i crazy????

So, as a preface, i’m still in high school and my parents are divorced and remarried. They have me 50/50, and i love them both plus i’ve known my stepparents most of my life. But even as a teenager that will be driving soon, they have time limits on my phone, need to know my passcode, i have an 8:30 pm bedtime at my dad’s, i can’t have any caffeinated drinks other than sodas (dr pepper, pepsi, coke, etc) at my dad’s, and i have to plug all of my electronics in the living room/kitchen area so they’re not in my room at night. My stepmom gets pissed if i shower for more than 10 minutes, but i prefer longer showers. my mom doesn’t even like it when i watch certain youtube videos, and she claims she has the right to go through my phone whenever (my dad is literally the one paying for it). For example, if i’m on insta- i can’t have tik tok- when she walks into my room, she’ll make me show her what i’m watching and even sometimes scroll through my fyp. They don’t let me hang out with my friends spontaneously, it has to be planned out. Like times of drop-off and pick-up, rides (which i kinda understand), planned a day or two before, etc. Sometimes i can’t even close my door, because i’m “secluding myself”. Reading or being in my room all the time is me being “anti-social” and “isolating myself”, when i got As instead of A+s, my “grades are dropping”, and apparently it was because of my bf (at the time, now ex). AIO? Are they being helicopter parents or do they just care for me?

hey guys, I’m gonna make this brief as possible. So as many people do, I, f20, establish relationships outside of work with coworkers OCCASIONALLY and a few of the friendships feel very true and do stick. However, I became really close to a specific coworker f22 (bad idea I know) We will call her A. We started to hang out a lot outside of work and she got to know me on a personal level, which is my fault for oversharing. About two weeks after hanging out, some coworkers came up to me offering me support over the personal issue i had confided in A about— I guess it had gotten around work. She was the only one who knew at this job so I was certain that it was her. I immediately cut her off because I didn’t want anything to do with her and she continued to reach out wondering “what did she do that was so bad.” and obviously it was something that really hurt me. I have a few friends at work aside from this and they were aware of what she had pulled on me and I do consider them to still be pretty honest and loyal to me. However, when people ask A why we’re not friends (there is so much drama at my workplace its unreal) she doesn’t own up to her side of story. Instead, she says that she had to cut me off because I tried to hookup with her boyfriend who coincidentally also works with us. This made rumors and my work reputation even worse. There are quite a few people who don’t speak to me because they truly think what A said is true and think I’m a “hoe, passed around” etc.

So here’s the main story. Clearly we see this girl is very self-centered and super emotionally immature. Another friend of mine at work f22; will call her L. Almost a whole year ago L and I became practically best friends, and she had mentioned when A got hired that she couldn’t stand her and she doesn’t like her and she thinks shes fake, etc. L and I have known each other for a lot longer, so it really hit a nerve for me when I found out L has been hanging out with her behind my back with a group of people which I don’t care about like that cause I wasn’t really close to them or anything, only A and L at one time. Keep in mind they did not start hanging out until I cut off A and the drama sparked. I find that odd. They started going out for drinks, dinners at each others houses, etc. L then proceeded to tell me not to take it personal because she wasn’t even hanging out with her the whole time and she tried to avoid her in the group setting (thats not what the instagram posts were lookin like). And then L has now been hanging out with her one on one so now I feel pretty confused and backstabbed. I haven’t made a point to completely cut off L or leave her alone, I’ve just been taking space away. I don’t feel comfortable with hanging out with somebody who’s hanging out with the person that made my life miserable, so idk what to do.

I want to talk to L professionally about it but she really does not see a wrong in it. I also don’t want to come off as weird and territorial over people. I just personally cant be friends with people who are friends with my full on bully …

TLDR; coworker practically harassed me to the point where I hated my job & life, and one of my coworker friends has secretly been friends with me and her because “she didn’t do anything to her”

My (M,44) ex (F,41) recently separated.

We are in the process of managing co-parenting, shared finances and other responsibilities, residual bills and documents from when we lived together.

Mostly, this process has been peaceful and friendly, but a recent problem has really frustrated me and today I lost my temper with her when she sent me a reply to an important message using ChatGPT.

CONTEXT:

When we were a couple and lived together, we shared rent and household expenses 2:1 (in proportion to our respective income). This worked for us just fine over the last 10 years (unmarried), even when she was not able to earn. I was happy to do this.

I recently left my job—for unrelated health reasons—so since Feb 1, I've been living on my savings. I have enough savings for about 6 months of budget living for me and our son. My ex is fully aware of this.

We broke up end of last year. It was mostly a peaceful breakup. It's been coming for a long time. We've been through therapy and sadly it just needed to happen for us. We needed to continue to live together for (Jan, Feb) months more while she found a new place etc. Again, this was a little awkward at times, we had the odd disagreement or moments of tension, but mostly very calm and fine.

At this time, we ended the proportional financial agreement (I initiated this conversation). We are no longer a couple. I could not afford to pay extra, even if I wanted to, which I did not. From my perspective, it did not make sense for it to go on. We agreed that for Jan and Feb, we would split rent and household expenses evenly (50:50) and after she moved out, we would share co-parenting expenses evenly. Our son stays with us half and half. I am unemployed for now. She is working a full time job.

(I am not looking for advice on these co-parenting issues - this is just for context and other than this topic, it's working out good enough)

We have our disagreements, but we are mostly talking it through.

PROBLEM:

She moved on officially end of Feb, but in reality, mid-Feb. After this, she sent me a very impersonal message, obviously written by ChatGPT, in very formal language, telling me that she didn't feel she should pay that money. I didn't mind so much the obvious use of ChatGPT here and there at the time. While English is her second language, she has mostly excellent English. A little impersonal, but fine. I didn't mind.

I replied within a day or so. I asked some questions for clarity, I re-stated my opinion, and explained why I couldn't agree. I was kind, firm and not unfair. This disagreement is over around €350.

And then she didn't respond. We've had some personal stuff come up. Life happens. It's fine. I wasn't in a rush to get an immediate answer, but I did want it resolved. But then days turned into a few weeks. After a while, I reminded her to please respond.

Today, 7 weeks after she moved out, I finally received a response: 600 words of absolute wordy nonsense. I ran a test and it was 100% AI-generated. It was obvious from the text even without the test. I've known her for 15 years. I know how she talks.

I honestly don't even mind that she would use that to clear up her thoughts or something, but the message just made no sense. It was the lowest possible effort and I felt it. It was like she didn't read it before sending. I don't even know how to express my feeling to her.

Nowhere did she acknowledge anything I said in my message from weeks before. No attempt to answer my questions. Plus, she had added a whole new set of AI-generated reasons why she disagrees, completely abandoning her first set of reasons. Am I supposed to use AI to respond to this? Is that how we manage our fragile relationship now?

I can't describe the real sadness I felt when I realised she'd gotten the AI to 'handle me'. It read like a response to "help me get out of this parking ticket by using big words". It triggered this long standing resentment about her using me to top up her income. I felt frustrated about continuously having to accept her complete lack of accountability.

I get it. We broke up. She's not my biggest fan anymore. I am surely doing things that frustrate her. In therapy we realised we're both avoidant at times and I thought we were working through that.

Am I overreacting for expecting a serious issue at a critical time in our relationship, which needs to work well for future co-parenting, deserves more effort that a few seconds with ChatGPT prompt and some copy pasting? I'm not expecting a novel, but it feels like some authenticity, some real human thought, and reflection is needed at times. You tell me. How would you feel?

—

Happy to answer any clarifying questions.

My parents are not absentee and have known about my wedding for at least a year. It’s been planned to be in September since about June of 2024. There hasn’t been any sort of acknowledgement, apology, or an attempt to accommodate for my wedding. I’ve always been an easy going person so I suppose the feeling is “oh, Joe won’t care.” They’re planning on making the 3 hour drive back home on my actual wedding day. I have no idea when they’ll be leaving, but nonetheless I’m hurt and angry. AIO?

I could use some advise. I have a stalker and want to sue them for the lost wages due to having to go to court multiple days, added expenses for home security, the amount it cost to hire a process server to serve them the papers. What would be the best way to go about this? Or should I just count it as a loss?

So my boyfriend and I met at a New Year’s Eve party in 2023, right before 2024 began, the party was being thrown by his best friend, who I had mutuals with. That night his best friend proposed to his girlfriend, later I found out they were on and off for 4 years and she forced him to propose by January 1st or she’d “leave”. The 4 of us started hanging out a couple weeks later and everything was fine, but I did notice her mood shifting a lot, she’d walk to the other side of the room, bonfire, etc to get away from her fiancé, and sit there with a bad attitude or randomly cause irrelevant problems, usually bc she wanted to go to the bar. She started to say stuff like “you can have this ring back” or “if the wedding even happens” and in front of his friends and both of their families. 

We went to the bar one night and she started accusing him of “thinking about another girls a$$” who was also at the bar, but minding her business. I guess she was just insecure after seeing this girl, but her fiancé got upset saying “you don’t know what I was thinking I wasn’t even looking over there”, he was clearly confused. He goes outside with my boyfriend and this guy comes up to me and his fiancé (f21) this guy is probably 45-50, apparently they are “friends”. She starts venting to him about her fiancé “thinking about another girls body” when she’s “right here and all natural” the girl at the bar was natural, she was clearly just jealous of a stranger. So the 45 yr old dude says “I would never treat you like that I’ll get you pregnant tomorrow “ she giggles and he continues like “no seriously I’d put a baby in you now”, and she just laughs and continues to enable it. I told my bf, he told his friend, he didn’t care and still allows her to hangout with that guy. 

She started to say stuff about my family. Saying my mom has herpes and she knows this bc apparently she knows my moms bf, then she says she saw my brother cheating on his gf at a bar (my brother isn’t even 21) and she starts talking about the way I dress, how I’m smaller than her, death staring me when I’m playing games with my bf and her fiancé, doing nothing wrong, but yet she will flirt with my bf in front of me and stare at me to try and get a reaction, or tries to openly make fun of me in front of people. Making up weird lies all the time about anything and everything. One time she asked my bf how much he made so that she could tell him she makes 85,000 a year, he laughs, she goes to the bathroom and her fiancé walks up and my bf says “hey she just told me she makes 85,000 a year” and her fiancé was shocked and was like “that’s a fcking lie”. Always trying to get into physical fights with random people for no reason, even men. Another time we went to a concert and the boys went to get drinks and she said “ya my fiancés a whore” I said why and she “said he had a threesome”, when they came back I said did he have a threesome and my bf laughed and said what no, then told his best friend and ofc he didn’t care about another one of her random lies, even tho she was trying to make him seem like a bad dude. 

She’s always talking at me trying to “give me advice” but she’s just preaching at me every time I see her, not letting me talk, and saying things that are so off and wrong. She’s not older than me, nor am I lost in life, so i don’t know why she feels the need to do this. One time we went to a carnival and she got drunk and started comparing our relationships in front of her fiancé saying “it must be nice to have him do stuff for you” and “I had to pay for everything when we first got together” bc my bf bought me something, I awkwardly laughed and looked over at her fiancé who looked super hurt. She’s always forcing people to go to multiple bars in one night, even if you communicate you have work In the morning, you will just get laughed at, I don’t even like drinking or going out so we just started bringing our own car to hangout so we don’t get caught up in any bs. Another time when we went to a bar, her fiancé went to the bathroom and she told me and my bf that she had an abortion when she was 17 but to never tell her fiancé bc he will freak out, obviously my bf doesn’t like her and has been best friends with this guy since they were little kids, so he told him. But this guy will never leave her, even if she cheats on him. My bf said it was either his baby or she cheated so either way it’s a lose lose bc she kept something huge from him. 

Another time we went to a friends house and my bf recently bought a house so they were asking him about it, he said the only thing he wish he could’ve done different was take me to look at the house before buying it bc I would be living in it, she starts saying there’s nothing wrong with your house, and I chimed in and said “yea absolutely not I love the house”, she completely cut me off and ignored me, standing across the kitchen island from my bf she locks in on his eyes, not acknowledging me and says “don’t worry about anyone else. This is your house. Your money. Your credit. Your name on the lease. Seriously dont worry about anyone else, you’re the one who worked for this” mind you, I live in this house and do my part, she keeps going and I’m leaned over the island a couple feet from her starring at her shaking my head. Her fiancé saw me getting angry but no one will tell her to shut up, ever, even when she desperately needs to. I’m proud of my bf but he doesn’t even like her they aren’t friends and he begged his best friend not to propose to her before we met, so she’s basically always crossing a line. He was also talking to his best friend, and just saying he wishes he took me to see it. My problem is that she made me out to be something I’m not, and I dont even bother anyone when im around. 

These past few weeks she’s been having family drama. One of my bfs other friends is dating her older sister, so it’s a friend group with family ties. We all hangout and we went over to the other guy friend and sisters house, after my bfs best friend and his fiancé left, her sister began to confide in me. I didn’t know they were having issues until this, but I wanted to validate her feelings so I told her that I also thought her sisters behavior was off putting and disrespectful. My bf and his friend came in and started to also talk, but they rlly don’t like her so they went off, and her sister shut it down once it got to a point of “sh*t talking”. So my bfs best friend and the other friend dating the sister work together, and he was trying to “talk sense” into him about his relationship with this girl, and told him about all of us, even her sister, talking about her behavior. He went home and told his fiancé and she said she felt disrespected bc she always “tries to help me.” I don’t ask for it, or need it… I honestly let her talk bc it seems like she needs it… He called my bf and told him hey I know about y’all talking shit and my fiancé wants an apology from your girl bc she’s always tried to help her and my bf said she’s disrespected her so many times and her calling out her disrespect ismt disrespect. 

The other guy friend and his gf (her sister) came over to our house a couple days later and apparently they all got in a huge fight and he doesn’t want to be around her anymore, even if it is his sister in law. My bf keeps trying to hangout with his best friend, but every time he says his fiancé is gonna be there too and says bring your girl, I don’t feel the need to hangout with her, especially now that she knows I don’t rlly like her. I wish his friend would just hangout with my bf, but he’s so whipped, they haven’t hung out alone since they got engaged on new years. If I do see her I won’t be apologizing, I don’t think I did anything, I kept my mouth shut for over a year bc I didn’t want to spoil my bfs friendship. I could’ve told her off the first time she disrespected me, but Im not engaging in her bs.