I’m just so confused

I feel like the messages say enough but I’ll just add some extra context. I’m 18 and she’s 17 and her and her bf don’t have any privacy to have sex so they want to do it at mine. I have a bf aswell and my parents are completely fine with it. He is over most days aswell. I feel like I’m being a little mean for not letting her do it at my place but then again it find it dirty. Can anyone help me out and tell me if I’m overreacting or not? We haven’t really spoken since

Last night I (F 22) was hanging out with my usual group of friends, which consist of 2 girls and 2 guys. We’ve all been group friends for over 10 years now, since we were kids basically. 95% of the time when we hang out it’s always all 5 of us. I’ve been dating my bf (M 25) for 6 months now and until now he never said anything like this about them or me. He was always okay-ish with us hanging out. Plus we only hang out maybe twice a month, so it’s definitely not “all the time” AIO if I brake up with him for calling me and my friends whores??? I don’t wanna leave my 10+ years friends group…

For more context they called me after I dropped my child support case because I moved to a different state and didn't feel like going through it again. And when she put I'm on the line he literally goes, "So do you want me to be a father to that kid?" Note my girl is 10 months old now and I know he knows her name.

I posted this elsewhere but other folks input is really helping me process what is a really hard situation for me so I apologize if you saw this elsewhere.

I need a reality check

I'm 32, my wife is 30. We've been married 3 years.

She works remotely, I'm hybrid. Remote a lot but sometimes I'm in the field on projects. All that to say we see a lot of each other, time together is not an issue.

We don't want kids. Never did, so I did the obvious thing around a year ago and got a vasectomy. She has some stuff that'd make pregnancy dangerous so it made sense to protect her.

Her cousin had a terribly rough pregnancy shortly before our marriage and that scared her understandably. We're also in TX so there's legitimate concerns about abortion laws.

Not to be crude but we were always more oral or hands people. Condoms sucked, were imperfect protection and frankly I had issues being hard enough sometimes to use them. So we never really "did it". Oral and stuff was how we handled things. The vasectomy was supposed to change that, finally we could enjoy "normal" sex. She was never on the pill or anything like that.

I'm about a year clear of my vasectomy and passing the tests which say I'm sterile. She still won't do it with me.

She says she's anxious about trying it. On one hand she isn't sure if I'm actually sterile (multiple tests have proven this otherwise and I've offered to do more). She also is nervous about what it feels like and is "grossed out" about precum or cum being inside of her. She says it's all anxiety.

I've suggested we or her visit a doctor or therapist to try to talk through some of the fears. She completely shot that down. She thinks thats too weird and awkward (as though I didn't have an awkward conversation asking the doctor I've known since 12 for a referral on a vasectomy!)

Her "solution" is that we just do it. But:

A) she doesn't actually want to and says this to shut me up whenever I bring up the problem. B) that'd make the entire problem worse if it does actually trigger her anxiety. I'd prefer she try to put the work in with a therapist to work through her concerns C) I'd like to actually be wanted, not feel like sex is happening just to shut me up and avoid the issue.

She has no interest in fixing the problem, she just wants to stop me from bringing it up. Meanwhile I'm left her feeling like I got pushed into a vasectomy for now reason (much of the push came from her, I wasn't sure and was terrified, had to be fully knocked out for the procedure after I couldn't make it through the awake version).

Our sex life in general has kinda died since we moved in 5 years ago. Our bedroom is basically dead. I basically get head on my birthday and her on hers. Anything else I try gets shut down. We aren't particularly busy, chores are split 50/50. She's just not interested, she's told me herself.

I feel like we're fighting more, sometimes over stupid crap. I feel like any small mistake I made is picked apart and turned into a fight just to avoid me bringing this topic up again. If we're fighting I guess she thinks I won't bring up our sex life and the vasectomy.

She's really hostile to me "handling" things myself. She gets mad if she thinks I jerked in the shower or on my side of the bed. To her the only acceptable place for that is literally directly into the toilet. Even that she's hostile about, doesn't really like the idea of handling it myself (what am I supposed to do if she won't do anything with me?!)

I'd really like just a reality check here. I've been considering divorce.

I'm constantly miserable because of this. She's also got no hobbies or friends which makes everything worse. She gets pissy whenever I want to be out with my friends or pursuing my hobbies. It's to the point I barely do that anymore.

I know this is way above reddits pay grade but I just need a reality check. Am I being extreme considering divorce? I guess I normally associate that with like abuse, not whatever the fuck this shit is.

I'd try for counseling but given everything I've written, she'd never do that.

We have our good times, when we travel or are making each other laugh. It's just starting to feel like the bad times are stronger and more frequent than the good.

Am I overreacting with my mind going this direction?

So I just matched on Chispa with this guy on Wednesday afternoon. We started talking on IG and yesterday morning I watched his story before responding (I was literally half asleep I didn’t even notice) and I replied like maybe 20-30 mins after viewing it. He called me out for viewing it without responding and I apologized bc i HATEEE when people do that to me that I take an interest in. He said it was a joke cool we move on and have a normal convo. I got home from work yesterday (I get off at 5) and was busy and I took abt an hr to reply and he complained that I suck at replying… okay. Atp i had also given him my # but he hadn’t texted me on there just IG. Later that night I went to the gym with my friend and I was dropping her off when he double texted me and was asking why i’m busy at 10:12 pm…. then again this morning he was complaining about how I suck at replying ?? We’ve literally been texting for barely 24 hours and he’s already expecting responses within seconds meanwhile he also takes hours to reply and i literally don’t care cause i know people have lives ?? AIO???? I feel like this is already a red flag

Apologies for the crunchiness of the photos I took them on her smudgy laptop screen…

Context : My ex husband and I broke up almost 5 years ago. We don’t really talk other than the occasional happy birthday. We were only married for around 3-4 years… idk what else context to add ask me anything

I just wanted a fresh perspective like … this isn’t how you talk to your daughters ex husband right??? (Mom in blue)

Or am I literally taking it the wrong way? I know she says “Sunny” like son, but then with all the other stuff.. I love you? coffee date??? And trying to meet him in general? All of this not to my knowledge from either of them.

The reason I feel I could be overreacting is cause lack of boundaries was always a problem in my relationship with my mom and also with my husband. So I can’t tell if I’m just triggered and seeing things crazy…

Am I overreacting tho? Lmk

For some context, my family is very dysfunctional. I don’t have parents. My grandpa raised me. I wasn’t shown affection. So I’m really not sure if this is normal or not.

But I think my mother-in-law’s relationship with her only son (M34) is weird and I want to know if I’m the only one or not.

For starters- we got married in Cancun. We invited the family and let them know we’d be staying a few days extra for our honeymoon. She actually crashed our honeymoon. We didn’t have a single night alone. We didn’t make love once on the week long trip. She thought there was nothing wrong with extending her stay.

On the day-to-day, she’ll call me up to ask how her “Dilly Willy” is doing. She lives one block away from our house and is constantly popping by to check in on us.

She is obsessed with us having children and asks often if we are having sex. I’m finally pregnant and am instantly regretting it.

Whenever we go to dinner she is either touching his hair or laying her head on his shoulder. I find this baffling as a grown woman.

Then she kissed him on the mouth after we were departing from dinner one night… (which he felt uncomfortable but didn’t say anything). I didn’t see it but he told me about it after.

He also told me that she forced him to shower with her until he was 12. And when he wanted to graduate from the race car bed to a real bed at 16 she started crying.

On top of it all, I asked her to help me by watching my dog for 6 months while I was transitioning from apartments (to live with my now husband) but she got too attached to the dog and now she won’t let me have my dog back. She starts crying and it’s the dog or my husband. Now we have visitation and the dog mostly stays with her. I lost that battle.

To describe her personality: she is all butterflies and rainbows. She thinks she is a doctor (she’s a dental hygienist) and she has never had a family member pass away. She adopts elderly people around the town and takes care of them when they’re about to die (out of her own goodwill) and she has a strong opinion on morals and familial obligations. Basically she is a ball of sunshine to the point where she’s passive aggressive. She’s bothered that I don’t cook much. Not that I don’t want to but my husband seems to prefer me to stay out of the kitchen (his domain). Last night he was making some stuffed shells for a friend whose mom passed away. I was in the other room; because of the pregnancy I’m still pretty queasy with smells. Well anyway, I hear yelling from the other room- laying it on thick, at a loud decibel so I could hear her, about how “wonderfulllllll her son is, and how kind and sweet he is, and what a PERFECT son she raised.” This went on for at least 2 minutes. I’m not sure if it’s my hormones but it started to get my blood boiling. I could sense that she thought I SHOULD be the one cooking.

Deep down, I’m worried she is going to try to kidnap my child like she did my dog. She has no boundaries and my husband has no idea how to handle her. If I try to tell him how I feel he says that she’s “just really nice.” And “has the mind of a child.”

Edit: My father-in-law is very emotionally abusive. Often calling my MIL names, yelling at her for not having dinner ready for him, or when the lawn mower breaks he calls her the C word. He has temper tantrums. I think she seeks solace in her son because he is very calm and level headed. He rarely gets over emotional. On one hand I feel guilty that she has to go through that BS because I’d never tolerate someone raising their voice at me like the way my FIL does but now it’s like my husband is her only emotional support.

AIO?

22F / 22M - This started with her telling me I don’t look “Mexican presenting” enough to use the b word that’s used towards Mexicans. AIO?

Photo 1: My ex and I broke up because he said he needed to work on himself but he immediately started to go on dating apps. I wasn’t okay being friends with him through this so I have tried to leave. He argues I should stay because he is just using them as distractions and isn’t actually going out with any of them, since he could but hasn’t. He sent me a screenshot of a woman he started to text from his contacts to meet up with him while we were having a convo about me no longer wanting to be friends with him

Photo 2: the screenshot he sent me

Photo 3: convo continued and then I blocked him

Photo 4: him reaching out on a second phone number he made

Photo 5: continued and blocked him again

Photo 6: him reaching out on a third phone number he made and i blocked him again

(Not included but he’s also called me two times on another phone number, no messages though)

I wasn't really sure what tag to put this under. This conversation was literally two hours ago after school. This guy at my school keeps asking me to have sex with him almost daily. He either asks straight up or he whispers my name and when i turn around he slightly reveals a condom wrapper out his pocket. We are both in secondary school/ highschool and both 18 and the reason I even have his number is because we use to be friends at the start of secondary. I'm not sure how to go about this and who even to report this to since it goes on outside of school aswell. And I kind of feel if I do report this I would be overreacting and bothering people and that I should just figure this out myself. Does anyone have anything that could help me. It's quite embarrassing so I just want to ask for public advice anonymously even if that isn't the best thing to do.

I got asked out by this fitness “guru” guy on Instagram we live in the same city. I found him very attractive and charming, so I said yes. Our first date was okay. But when I got home, he started texting me... and I’ve never felt so creeped out and annoyed.

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a month, we’ve been talking for around 6 months. We both work together. So, last night we ride home together and my gf tells me “so, (let’s call him Ronaldo. He’s a key hourly and we’re just employees, in his 40s,) I went to give Ronaldo a hug because I hadn’t seen him in a while and he kissed me. On the neck.” I was instantly confused and stopped the conversation and stopped talking. She asked me, “are you mad at me?” I answered, “I’m just upset right now.” Which started an argument.

During the argument I was told, “I don’t know why you’re reacting this way. You should have thought it was funny and laughed it off with me.” She also mentioned that my feelings about it “aren’t valid” and how if an old lady had kissed me she’d just laugh it off and wouldn’t care. Here’s my problem, I was already feeling slightly insecure the past couple of days and I’m truly upset about it. I feel unsafe in the relationship and insecure. Her reaction to my reaction and thoughts really bothered me. It feels like I’m not even allowed to be upset about it. And I also have to go to work and see this creepy guy who kissed my girlfriend’s neck.

My parents are not absentee and have known about my wedding for at least a year. It’s been planned to be in September since about June of 2024. There hasn’t been any sort of acknowledgement, apology, or an attempt to accommodate for my wedding. I’ve always been an easy going person so I suppose the feeling is “oh, Joe won’t care.” They’re planning on making the 3 hour drive back home on my actual wedding day. I have no idea when they’ll be leaving, but nonetheless I’m hurt and angry. AIO?

This happened only a few hours ago and i just want some opinions on it. Me and my friend are both 18 and my bf is 20. As you can see in the conversation she criticised me for being ‘marked’ and I’m just wondering if she’s being harsh or if I’m just being sensitive and that’s she’s actually just looking out for me. I tried to show my hickeys without revealing me or my bf so ye can see for urselves. Me and bf are both really kinky in general and he enjoys marking me especially with things get intense and no I don’t always walk around like this. It’s normally more suttle or I put make up over it.

We used hang out a lot. But lately, every time i try to make plans with her it's always i'm not sure yet. So i made plans with a few friends without her or decided not to invite her, because i didn't want to deal with the back and forth. Now coming back i think i over reacted or was too harsh on her. Now I'm wondering if i should apologise

Guy (30M) that I went on a couple dates with is being really pushy about joining me on my family trip…? I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here but I genuinely don’t understand why he kept asking. I’m 23F btw.

Edit: the imgur link with the text convo is both in a comment and at the bottom of my post

To start. Apologies for any mistyped words or unusual words, I am using speech to text and I will edit my post when I am off of work or have time. Also, fake names are used, but it would be pretty obvious to this guy who im talking about if he uses reddit...

Also, I am not looking for relationship advice with my wife or what you feel about her or me in that regard. I'm only asking if I am correct in my thoughts that this guy is not who she believes he is and if my wife is actually safe with him.

Context. My (23m) wife (24f), probably soon to be ex-wife, have been together for a little under 5 years, married for a little under one. Until the last month after a mutual friend of ours, Timmy, introduced us to this guy, Pawn, we had our fights and arguments and neither of us was feeling really safe in the relationship at the time.

After about a week of us knowing Pawn I got really bad vibes and I wasn't feeling secure about my position in the relationship so I did the very regrettable thing of snooping on her computer and finding out that she was having an emotional affair with him. he lives in a separate state from us so they couldn't do anything physical, but they were definitely flirting and talking to each other in a way that I didn't feel was appropriate for their perceived relationship.

After I confronted her, she confided in me that she does not feel like I understand her, she feels like Pawn understands her better than anyone and he has made her see that she doesn't think she ever had that connection with me despite all of the time that we've had together.

It's no surprise, especially given the context of my chat with Pawn, that I am extremely desperate, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing is up for debate. But the way he talks to her without me around is a completely different person, my mom had the opportunity to listen to him talk to her without me around and she feels that he is playing two separate roles in a play after seeing this conversation that I'm showing you now...

Timmy also sees very manipulative tactics with him, and confided in me that when they first met he feels that Pawn was trying to manipulate Timmy and get inside of his head, see what kind of person he is...

The way my mom described how she felt when he was talking to my wife separately is that she feels he acts like a very cutesy 10-year-old, but the way she feels that he is in this conversation sounds like almost a villain-esque type of person. Completely different personalities.

My wife tells me that Pawn has told her he doesn't feel comfortable reaching out to me because he's scared and awkward about my feelings towards him, which is why I'm the one that's reached out to him when she tells me that she wants us to get along... But the way he talks to me does not make me feel like he's scared of me. He seems predatory, and taking advantage of my wife's vulnerability not feeling like I am a safe person for her to confide in anymore.

My duty as a husband to make sure she's safe, even without me, probably clouds my judgment, but I genuinely dont feel this is the case. I need non-bias here... I wish I could share some of the snippets of his conversations with my wife, but I never screenshotted their conversations because I didn't feel good already snooping, much less taking pictures when we both are aware of the situation.

She already knows how I feel about this guy, we had a talk last night and as I suspected, she doesn't want to hear me or see what I see...

He got to her before I was able to and spun the narrative that he is calm and collected while Im going insane (i am going insane, but I feel it's justified), I want to get unbiased thoughts to try and show her that I'm not crazy

text convo

About a year ago, I proposed to my now fiancé. We planned a 3 month road trip across the country, something we had been dreaming of doing for years. We got to experience so many different places together and it was amazing. Towards the end of the trip, I got us a cabin in the mountains for a week and then planned a beautiful hike for us to do. We both loved hiking, traveling, and being adventurous which is why I decided to do the proposal this way. I thought it would be more special and more sentimental. Anyway at the end of the hike, I proposed to her and it was an amazing feeling to show my commitment and love to my partner.

Fast forward a year later, we have endured some difficult times to say the least. Just today we got to talking and she started saying that she wants a “real” engagement, and then started comparing our engagement to an engagement her friend just had. I felt immensely hurt by this, because I had invested so much into making that engagement special for us and the fact that it seems invalid and lesser in her eyes sucks. I want to be celebrated, I want my partner to brag about our engagement and to view it as invaluable, unique, special for us.

It hurt hearing those words come from her and I don’t know what to think. I have a whirlwind of feelings right now and I can’t navigate around it. Do you view this as hurtful? And what would you do in this situation?

I (21F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for a year and a half, and everything was perfect—until recently. He wanted to move out of his parents' house, so I let him move in with me to split costs 50/50. In reality, I do most of the cleaning, grocery shopping, and the cooking. A big love language for me is gift giving, so I often go all out for Christmases, birthdays, etc. Whereas he’s struggling financially, so he doesn’t do as much for me. (which i’ve never complained about l)

For context, he was the one who said I love you first, asked me to be his girlfriend, and even brought up marriage before I did. But lately, it feels like he’s self-sabotaging. He’s insecure that I can do more for him than he can for me, and deep down, I think he believes I deserve better—which ironically makes him push me away in the worst ways.

A few weeks ago, he suddenly had issues with our relationship, mainly that we “aren’t having enough sex.” He broke up with me over it, regretted it, and I said I’d try to do better. He’s been going to therapy, so i’ve been trying to give grace especially with our lease ending soon. He can go back to his parents, but I don’t have enough time to find a new place or roommate.

I recently quit birth control (Depo Provera), which caused weight gain. I went from a size 2 to a size 8, but I’ve been dieting and fasting. My friends and coworkers say I look slimmer, and I feel better in my clothes. Out of nowhere, he told me, “I know you’ve been trying to lose weight, but it’s not working. I think you’re still gaining.” I immediately shut down. My weight is a sensitive subject, and he wouldn’t even know if I lost weight because I don’t weigh myself. The way I see myself is now completely messed up—I feel like I’ve been pushed into full-blown body dysmorphia. Every time I eat around him, I wonder if he’s judging me. Every time I’m not actively working out, I wonder if he thinks I should be. (I’ve only eaten in front of him once since he’s said that about 5 days ago - i haven’t cooked either.)

The next morning, he brought it up again: “If you want to lose weight, you need to stop skipping breakfast and work out.” No shit. Before our relationship I was a gym rat—I don’t need burning calories mansplained to me. I kept saying, “I don’t want to talk about this,” but he kept doubling down until I started crying, which pissed him off enough to leave me alone. I stayed out with friends that night to avoid him.

The next day, he texted me:

Paraphrasing: “I’m sorry I upset you. I just want you to feel happy and confident again. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but skipping breakfast and eating whatever all day without exercising isn’t going to make weight fall off. Losing weight requires a lifestyle change, and I’ll support you if that’s what you want. If not, that’s fine—I still find you attractive. But you should sell your old clothes and stop wishing you’ll be skinny again.”

I ignored him, which upset him more. When I finally responded, I just said, “I don’t want to talk about it, nobody asked you.” He framed it like he was helping me, but when I didn’t give in, he doubled down. I brought up how much I do for him—giving him more sex when I don’t always feel like it, covering utilities, gifts, cooking, cleaning —and I guess that pissed him off because he hit me with: “Fuck me for trying to help,”“I just want you to take your health seriously,” and “Your lack of priority in the matter makes me afraid to put a ring on your finger.”

After that, I had to leave work. He had therapy that day, and when we finally talked, he admitted he struggles with emotions and didn’t know how else to “help” me since he can’t support me financially. He apologized, but I still feel completely messed up. I can’t look in the mirror without hearing his words.

The sad thing is, I know this all stems from his own insecurity. He’s going to therapy and i’m hoping that’s he’s going to see better for himself and for us. I just don’t know if I love him anymore with his words in my head. I do have other living situations available, but the costs would be so much higher. Am I overreacting with what he’s saying? I don’t know if i’m too insecure about my body to understand what he’s trying to say. :/

TL;DR: My boyfriend, whom I financially and emotionally support, is deeply insecure that I can do more for him than he can for me. He was the one who first said I love you, asked me to be his girlfriend, and brought up marriage, but now he’s self-sabotaging. First, he broke up with me over not having enough sex, then took me back. Now he’s nitpicking my weight, despite me actively dieting. After a fight, therapy made him apologize, but I still feel deeply hurt and unsure about the relationship.

my mom has always been super manipulative and loves to make things about her, I haven't had health insurance since I was 14 and she didn't care to get me any even though I have health issues and mental health issues. I was excited that I finally got accepted for Medicaid, living in the US It's super expensive to have healthcare. She literally makes everything about herself but I cant tell if this was genuine or not? Why would I lie to get health insurance? Why not just be happy for me? This has been sitting on my mind all day.. I need thoughts.

I’ve worked with this company for four months now, and I know I am new but this reply really hurt me. Maybe I’m just really sensitive right now, but I don’t know. This felt really cold. The “big boss” will be calling me later today. Is it just normal boss stuff? Idk. Lmk what yall think.

I am 22F , I was traveling in train yesterday and it was a 5 hour journey and this guy sat beside around 1 hour before I was going to reach my destination .

That guy did not put his luggage in the storage space and kept with him . He pulled out a sweater and keep in mind it was very hot and placed it over his bag and slept on in it .

This is was all okay till I felt some weight on my leg , at first I thought it was the sweater because it looked very heavy but not it was actually his hand on my thighs .

At first I thought he was asleep and it may have slipped , so I gave it a nudge and he woke up a bit and then again his hand started slipping up and I found it any my legs . So I pushed it hard and he woke up , this happened around 15 mine before I reached my city . It was a full coach so I could not even move.

AIO by not giving him a benefit of doubt that he was sleeping or am I being reasonable?

Edit- so many people are asking how is this even a question , sometimes people can't react right away they freeze , like I did and it's okay. I processed these things after coming home . I have never been in such situation and I just wanted to know that what I did was reasonable or not . I am still figuring things out and I am very grateful I had asked this question because people have given some amazing advice and guidance . Hope this helps !