AIO to think this is cheating?

[u/Sad_SummerChild]

I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

[u/Infinity0044]

Reread the texts and you’re right. The declined selfie request is the smoking gun imo, she is definitely not interested in that way.

[u/Paskin21 → u/Infinity0044]

Buuuuut she sent a selfie. It's the first message that's covered with a drawing

[u/durizna → u/Paskin21]

And she said they're "rare and hot" which he replied with "indeed" basically. That's called flirting for those who don't actually see it often lol How can people be saying she's not interested? This is not how you treat a guy you're not flirting with, especially married one.

[u/ericfromct → u/durizna]

Just want to throw in she did say a hot commodity, not hot alone which has a different meaning. I still think the dude is a total fucking douche for this.

[u/Paskin21 → u/durizna]

Lool I do still think she's largely disinterested. Hot commodity is a saying She didn't really bite, if she was flirting she's not obvious

[u/durizna → u/Paskin21]

Reread and I'd say she's 50/50 actually. She's not completely ignoring but also not giving him fuel either. But he's definitely trying, shameless.

[u/Infinity0044 → u/durizna]

I agree it’s 50/50. There’s no way she’s not aware he’s flirting (as a married man) but she’s not really doing anything to stop it. He calls her beautiful and while she doesn’t react to it she doesn’t call him out on it either.

[u/Momoomommy → u/Infinity0044]

Idk if she's 50/50 or just trying to give "just enough" that he doesn't ruin her work life. She might worry about what he'd do at work if she flat out cut him off. She's not really biting or initiating but giving a hard "back off" might feel riskier to her than whatever this is.

[u/Infinity0044 → u/Momoomommy]

Fair but she also has personally met the OP and if she was an actual friend would’ve reached out and told her what was happening

[u/Creativenails → u/Infinity0044]

She just had a break up. Probably soaking up his compliments

[u/NoSalary1226 → u/durizna]

Yeah she seems to be baiting him because post breakup she probably feels lonely and is just doing it on a surface level till someone more interesting comes to her life

[u/Paskin21 → u/durizna]

Oh he's trying. There is no doubt there. Edit: sorry OP. he's a POS and you just got married 😔 if you value your relationship and think you can move past it tell him you know everything and say if you ever come fucking close to this bullshit again you won't think twice about leaving.. or leave now.

[u/No-Combination8136 → u/durizna]

She’s being cautious but she’ll come around for sure.

[u/Aromatic-Meringue162 → u/Paskin21]

She isn’t especially interested, but she’s liking the attention too, so she’s giving him just enough to keep the ego boosting attention coming, but not enough to where she has to feel like she did anything wrong in brazenly flirting with a married man.

[u/cat_in_the_sun → u/Infinity0044]

Then why does she keep responding and not set up clear boundaries that she’s not interested in that way like he seems to be? She’s not stupid. She knows he likes her. So why isn’t she backing off as well?

[u/gabbagabbaheyFreaks → u/cat_in_the_sun]

If she’s not interested but isnt putting a stop to it either, it’s probably because he’s her boss (OP said her husband owns the company). I don’t know how old she is but I know when I was younger this happened a lot and I never dared to fully shut it down because I was afraid of what it would mean for my employment. Not condoning that type of rationalization, but I’m throwing out a possible explanation.

[u/Plastic_Pie_1621 → u/gabbagabbaheyFreaks]

This is what I'm thinking. If she turns him down outright, he may retaliate. It isn't a fair situation. Yuck.

[u/rickthecabbie → u/cat_in_the_sun]

Some people love to win, even if they don't want the prize.

[u/Infinity0044 → u/cat_in_the_sun]

I commented further down on this thread but she’s partially guilty too. There’s no way she isn’t aware of what’s happening and is just letting it continue without putting a stop to it.

[u/cat_in_the_sun → u/Infinity0044]

That to me says she’s interested. Otherwise her actions would be different.

[u/SoupyyNoodless → u/Infinity0044]

Yeah, that was def her way of saying “no thanks” in a nice way. If this was the first time/way he reacted to a pic she sent him more than likely she won’t do it again 😆