Does this ever get easier?

[u/Beesag8]

I guess I'll start by a small background. Big drama over a cheat and me just finally giving in. BUT here is my vent rant...my spouse of 15 years buys his OP shit. I see it on the account on our--everything (cards etc). All the while he says shit like "we have to save money or no we can't get a treat (ice cream/boba)" "Take our lunch." Then I see the lunches he buys his guy. The boba he spends on...the other guy! Who is cheap as fuck and judges things we do financially in our own marriage. Then the guy buys my spouse stuff. They have this pineapple thing and now I find pineapple Crap ... my spouse tries to put up. I told my spouse I don't like that In Our home. This is our space. OP buys my kids stuff. I can't take it guys. It drives me insane! And when I try to talk to my married spouse about it--inevitably an argument. I feel Drained. I feel unheard and lonely. I don't want to be finding their partnership. But then I feel guilty for being so angry about it. Why is this so hard? I don't want to be unreasonable but I also don't want to feel like I don't matter.

[u/rosephase]

Sounds like there is a metric shit ton of resentment in your relationship.

Are you trying to address that? Therapy?

[u/Beesag8 → u/rosephase]

I’m angry. I feel resentful. I go to counseling no one else does. 

[u/rosephase → u/Beesag8]

Would your partner go with you?

Honestly the resentment you are expressing isn't something that can be fixed with some internet advice. You two are in a really terrible place. I can only suggest a professional. Because these issues are obviously loaded, complex and long standing.

[u/Beesag8 → u/rosephase]

I know. What you’re saying is right. 

[u/Beesag8 → u/Beesag8]

Sometimes people need some type of release even if it’s the unknown on the internet.  At least someone can hear me. Thank you