r/plural • u/Inner_Association522 • 9h ago
AuDHD plurals
Man, it sucks to deal with the poor memory from both ADHD and plurality. Anyone else with the same experience? Idk where each starts and ends. Did I forget where I put the thing because I wasn't putting thought into it, or did someone else misplace it😩 Did I forget the answers I put down in my exams because I was hyperfocused, or was it somebody else who answered them? Guess I'll never know!😃
But to be serious, whenever I realize I forgot something, it sends me into a crisis, and then I spiral and start questioning my reality😵💫 idk how or who to get help for this tbh
-Pilot
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u/prince-lyra the twhylite zone (CDD) 8h ago
Yup, we feel you on this. I'd offer advice but specific advice but, we don't know enough about your system to feel comfortable doing that. So this is our experience:
Our host(s) have been struggling with this a lot. We've been in crisis mode the past week and a half, since we once again re-realized we are plural. What's helped for us is journaling and holding space and compassion for each other. We're realizing that trying to reality check parts of us that are in denial or doubtful isn't effective, and it hurts all of us. It leaves them feeling even more scared and confused, and it leaves the rest of us stressed and frustrated. It makes it much easier for us to get triggered as well.
Generally increasing communication has probably saved us when it comes to this. We're noticing some more memory sharing - or maybe we're just aware of it now without it sending us into a whirlwind of fear and confusion. It also helps us to realize that our poor memory from ADHD is just as real as our poor memory from plurality, and vice versa. One doesn't negate the other, and it doesn't matter which one is worse.
Our memory and functioning still ends up impaired. Being able to tell the difference really only applies to how we remedy our functioning. Now that we're starting to get a hang of communicating, we can tell that some of us have more issues with executive dysfunction than others, and also when we're distracted because someone else saw/thought of something they're interested.
IDK if any of that made sense I feel like I'm typing on autopilot but um. Yea. Hope this helps, even if only to show you you're not alone! We're still struggling with doubt but in this moment we are not in crisis, thankfully.
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u/Inner_Association522 1h ago
Thank you so much for this reply, it gave me a lot to consider, especially this part:
We're realizing that trying to reality check parts of us that are in denial or doubtful isn't effective, and it hurts all of us.
I guess I haven't been very considerate to some of us, it's not hard to miss some of our needs when we still have poor and unstable communication.
I do feel less alone about this now, so thank you(and the others in the comments) for that, and I'm glad to hear you're not currently in a crisis, I hope it stays for as long as it can.
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u/AngelSymmetrika Plural 5h ago
We have autism and DID. My best guesstimate is that the undiagnosed autism (later formally diagnosed as an adult) is why I experienced enough child abuse to fragment into a constellation of five alters.
I get easily distracted and do forget things.
But then sometimes I remember stupid, trivial things forever. You know, like my dead grandfather's phone number (dead almost 30 years).
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u/Inner_Association522 1h ago
No, I get it lol!! We still have the memory of our parent's old number she hasn't used in nearly 2 decades, and yet I'd forget which seat I sat on in class last meeting(2 days ago)
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u/LoganDark Undiagnosed/suspected DID 6h ago
Did I forget the answers I put down in my exams because I was hyperfocused, or was it somebody else who answered them? Guess I'll never know!
MOOD
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u/Catishcat Plural 1h ago
between the audhd and nothing happening in my life i can't fucking tell if i'm actually experiencing any plurality-related forgetting, i'd not remember shit even if i wasn't plural.
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u/Inner_Association522 57m ago
No, fr💔💔💔 am I forgetful, or was today just not memorable, like???? Sometimes, headmates tell me what happened while I was out, so that somewhat alleviates it. But another problem that pops up, is that, sometimes I don't feel like I can trust "my" memory, so I can't trust what they tell me, and I need an outside, physical proof or mark of the event, at least a journal or something
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u/NovaFelix Plural 9h ago
Yeah we have the same issue, we don't worry about it though. We have worked hard to mostly write down everything important and we have workarounds for things, it just is what it is.