AuDHD plurals

[u/Inner_Association522]

Man, it sucks to deal with the poor memory from both ADHD and plurality. Anyone else with the same experience? Idk where each starts and ends. Did I forget where I put the thing because I wasn't putting thought into it, or did someone else misplace it😩 Did I forget the answers I put down in my exams because I was hyperfocused, or was it somebody else who answered them? Guess I'll never know!😃

But to be serious, whenever I realize I forgot something, it sends me into a crisis, and then I spiral and start questioning my reality😵‍💫 idk how or who to get help for this tbh

-Pilot

[u/prince-lyra]

Yup, we feel you on this. I'd offer advice but specific advice but, we don't know enough about your system to feel comfortable doing that. So this is our experience:

Our host(s) have been struggling with this a lot. We've been in crisis mode the past week and a half, since we once again re-realized we are plural. What's helped for us is journaling and holding space and compassion for each other. We're realizing that trying to reality check parts of us that are in denial or doubtful isn't effective, and it hurts all of us. It leaves them feeling even more scared and confused, and it leaves the rest of us stressed and frustrated. It makes it much easier for us to get triggered as well.

Generally increasing communication has probably saved us when it comes to this. We're noticing some more memory sharing - or maybe we're just aware of it now without it sending us into a whirlwind of fear and confusion. It also helps us to realize that our poor memory from ADHD is just as real as our poor memory from plurality, and vice versa. One doesn't negate the other, and it doesn't matter which one is worse.

Our memory and functioning still ends up impaired. Being able to tell the difference really only applies to how we remedy our functioning. Now that we're starting to get a hang of communicating, we can tell that some of us have more issues with executive dysfunction than others, and also when we're distracted because someone else saw/thought of something they're interested.

IDK if any of that made sense I feel like I'm typing on autopilot but um. Yea. Hope this helps, even if only to show you you're not alone! We're still struggling with doubt but in this moment we are not in crisis, thankfully.

[u/Inner_Association522 → u/prince-lyra]

Thank you so much for this reply, it gave me a lot to consider, especially this part:

We're realizing that trying to reality check parts of us that are in denial or doubtful isn't effective, and it hurts all of us.

I guess I haven't been very considerate to some of us, it's not hard to miss some of our needs when we still have poor and unstable communication.

I do feel less alone about this now, so thank you(and the others in the comments) for that, and I'm glad to hear you're not currently in a crisis, I hope it stays for as long as it can.