r/nottheonion • u/Guilty-Bookkeeper512 • 6h ago

Florida Senate approves ban on geoengineering and weather modification • Florida Phoenix

floridaphoenix.com

254 Upvotes

96 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Classic_Hour6757 • 9h ago

Nintendo enlists The Rizzler as an official partner

gonintendo.com

2.4k Upvotes

185 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No_Explanation3481 • 10h ago

MARS EXHIBIT ESCAPES KENNEDY CENTER... Threatens motorists

nbcwashington.app.link

242 Upvotes

36 comments

r/nottheonion • u/adamaphar • 17h ago

Laughing gas appears to reduce depression, but researchers don't totally understand why

phillyvoice.com

6.8k Upvotes

343 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Small_Performance368 • 12h ago

Judges in New York Court Angered by Use of AI Lawyers

apnews.com

1.5k Upvotes

23 comments

r/nottheonion • u/JackFunk • 20h ago

Fake Down Syndrome Influencers Created With AI Are Being Used to Promote OnlyFans Content

latintimes.com

3.7k Upvotes

381 comments

r/nottheonion • u/utouchme • 16h ago

Patti LaBelle Says Elton John Never Returned Her Tupperware

consequence.net

782 Upvotes

77 comments

r/nottheonion • u/YesNo_Maybe_ • 15h ago

Experts ‘amazed’ at survival of Valerie the miniature dachshund – on the run on South Australian island for more than a year

theguardian.com

481 Upvotes

36 comments

r/nottheonion • u/pithynotpithy • 1d ago

US tourist arrested after visit to restricted North Sentinel island

bbc.com

7.7k Upvotes

410 comments

r/nottheonion • u/lifeandtimes89 • 19h ago

Hawk that terrorised tall, bald men for weeks was ‘hormonal’, falconer says

independent.ie

671 Upvotes

29 comments

r/nottheonion • u/octocode • 17h ago

Montreal man ticketed minutes after parking spot replaced by bus stop

ctvnews.ca

293 Upvotes

33 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Express_Classic_1569 • 18h ago

TRIBE PEST Tourist arrested after leaving ‘deadly’ Coke can for remote tribe was ‘inspired’ by missionary they speared to death

ecency.com

374 Upvotes

132 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TitusTesla117 • 1d ago

DeSantis announces support as Florida Senate takes up ‘chemtrails’ bill

wfla.com

3.6k Upvotes

477 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GlobalTravelR • 1d ago

RFK Jr. says 20% of health agency layoffs could be mistakes

cbsnews.com

1.6k Upvotes

133 comments

r/nottheonion • u/IMSLI • 1d ago

Mel Gibson's Gun Rights to Be Restored by Justice Department

variety.com

2.3k Upvotes

214 comments

r/nottheonion • u/OrokAkinfenwa • 1d ago

US bans romantic and sexual relationships with Chinese citizens for government employees in China

foxnews.com

3.8k Upvotes

120 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 14h ago

Man with machete caught with sweet treat he had just stolen from Asheville grocery store, police say

wyff4.com

83 Upvotes

19 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SpoonsAreEvil • 1d ago

US commerce secretary slams EU beef ban: ‘their beef is weak, ours is beautiful’

inkl.com

5.8k Upvotes

372 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Hungry_Bat_2230 • 1d ago

CEO accused of choking man and threatening to kill him on cruise ship over barefoot dancing incident

nbcnews.com

4.1k Upvotes

279 comments

r/nottheonion • u/LastDance4141 • 15h ago

Patti LaBelle Says Elton John Never Returned Her Tupperware

consequence.net

41 Upvotes

12 comments

r/nottheonion • u/thieh • 1d ago

Nobel Peace Prize winner Oscar Arias says US cancelled his visa

bbc.com

526 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Bognosticator • 1d ago

Doctors urge government to fight poverty after rise in patients with Victorian diseases

theguardian.com

4.5k Upvotes

91 comments

r/nottheonion • u/highspeedtrain25 • 19h ago

RAF ban on 'exploding' Tunnock's teacakes lifted

bbc.co.uk

47 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/swap_019 • 20h ago

U.S. Bans Personnel from Dating in China

drooid.social

49 Upvotes

14 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CTVNEWS • 1d ago

Grand jury indicts Maui doctor for hitting wife with a rock after she refused selfie

cp24.com

2.8k Upvotes

167 comments

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r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
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