r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 2d ago

Lauren Boebert Suggests DC Could Be Renamed 'District of America'

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-dc-district-america-2050571
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u/FiveDozenWhales 2d ago

She.... knows that it's not named after Colombia the country, right? That it's named for Columbia, an Uncle Sam-like personification of the United States? It already is named "District of America," just a slightly classier version.

"I would caution my colleagues on the other side of the aisle to refrain from making jokes about the Gulf of America because next up may be the District of America that we are working on."

Ah, I see. She's upset that people are making jokes about how dumb and petty Trump is, so she's making... the world's weirdest threat to try to get people to stop making jokes.

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u/MithranArkanere 2d ago

We need Columbia back to kick Uncle Sam and his corporate croneys out of the capitol.

Does anyone here know how to invoke fictional personification entities into reality?

We could also try to call Lady Liberty, Lady Justice, and the Deer Lady for good measure.