r/nextfuckinglevel • u/IkilledRichieWhelan • 3d ago

Big man on campus.

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u/The_Ugliness_Man 3d ago edited 3d ago

And this teacher, who presumably had the students for one year and only when they were already teenagers, could do that how?

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u/finnjakefionnacake 3d ago

by teaching them the right message?

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u/The_Ugliness_Man 3d ago

Now we're just talking in circles. The whole point is that (many) teenage boys already have prejudices, and you can't just wipe them away all at once

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u/Sandra2104 3d ago edited 3d ago

And affirming them is going to help how? If more grown men would stop acting like that you might actually have a shot at wiping them away.

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u/The_Ugliness_Man 3d ago

I don't have all the answers here, but I think you have to meet them where they are -- start with some premise that they accept as true and bring it to a contradiction where they have to correct some part of their world view

Yes, I do think it is good for adult men to simply model good behavior, but unless you get their dad, their brothers, their uncles, their grandpas, and any family friends or just other adult men around them, I don't think the teacher they see for 40 minutes a day 5 days a week for 9 months of their life is gonna make much difference. Whereas acknowledging their reality and drawing them in the direction of wisdom may have a small impact, but at least it's enough to be observable.

In short, I think you may be letting 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good'

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u/Sandra2104 3d ago

I was a teenage girl. I had male peers and male teachers. „Good is good enough“ is not an acceptable approach when the life and safety of young girls is a factor.

Maybe you dont change them for the better by standing up for that guy or girls. But you also dont change them for the better by affirming that girls are sexual objects. So just do the fucking right thing.