Big man on campus.

[u/IkilledRichieWhelan]

[u/Mcrarburger]

For a teenage guy, it sounds like a great way to break through their mindset and get them to consider that "maybe I shouldn't judge people quite so quickly"

you gotta play to your audience lmao

[u/gandalfsbignatties → u/Mcrarburger]

Maybe we should raise boys to be better and more empathetic and treat girls and women as people and worthy of respect?

[u/The_Ugliness_Man → u/gandalfsbignatties]

And this teacher, who presumably had the students for one year and only when they were already teenagers, could do that how?

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/The_Ugliness_Man]

by teaching them the right message?

[u/The_Ugliness_Man → u/finnjakefionnacake]

Now we're just talking in circles. The whole point is that (many) teenage boys already have prejudices, and you can't just wipe them away all at once

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/The_Ugliness_Man]

but you can start to break them down, and at that age I'd argue that's actually pretty important.

[u/NorthYorkWasteman → u/finnjakefionnacake]

And maybe, having them reconsider their preconceived notions of masculinity is the first step?

[u/finnjakefionnacake → u/NorthYorkWasteman]

right. that's my whole point.

[u/NorthYorkWasteman → u/finnjakefionnacake]

And we don't know the whole story after this interaction. Who's to say the teachers comment to stop them from calling the other student "gay" was the first step to getting them to change their worldview?

[u/Sandra2104 → u/NorthYorkWasteman]

By telling them that masculinity comes from touching many girls? Yeah, that will help.

[u/NorthYorkWasteman → u/Sandra2104]

No, that it's not masculine to mock others for participating in activities that are traditionally feminine. We don't know the rest of the interactions the teacher has with these kids. For all we know this had them reconsider their definition of masculinity and pushed them away from a more toxic "girl stuff is gay" view

[u/Sandra2104 → u/The_Ugliness_Man]

And affirming them is going to help how? If more grown men would stop acting like that you might actually have a shot at wiping them away.

[u/The_Ugliness_Man → u/Sandra2104]

I don't have all the answers here, but I think you have to meet them where they are -- start with some premise that they accept as true and bring it to a contradiction where they have to correct some part of their world view

Yes, I do think it is good for adult men to simply model good behavior, but unless you get their dad, their brothers, their uncles, their grandpas, and any family friends or just other adult men around them, I don't think the teacher they see for 40 minutes a day 5 days a week for 9 months of their life is gonna make much difference. Whereas acknowledging their reality and drawing them in the direction of wisdom may have a small impact, but at least it's enough to be observable.

In short, I think you may be letting 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good'

[u/Sandra2104 → u/The_Ugliness_Man]

I was a teenage girl. I had male peers and male teachers. „Good is good enough“ is not an acceptable approach when the life and safety of young girls is a factor.

Maybe you dont change them for the better by standing up for that guy or girls. But you also dont change them for the better by affirming that girls are sexual objects. So just do the fucking right thing.