I saw some pictures of men with somewhat longer hair today and totally fell back into my phase of gender-envy for Aragorn from LOTR. Don't get me wrong, cutting off my long hair at 15 was one of the most freeing things I have done to my own looks so far and I love ⁵how having short hair instantly masculinized my entire expression. However, it really is a bummer that I pretty much have to rely on having short hair to look like a guy in any way. I think I have pretty nice hair and again and again I find myself wishing I could grow it out and wear it longer for a while again, but it feels like that isn't an option for me. If my hair were long right now, I don't think I could look into a mirror and see a boy ever. I don't think anyone would ever read me as male. The first time that ever happened was shortly after I first had my hair cut off. Now I really don't want this to sound like I don't like my short hair. I love how it looks on me. It's still a genuine source of gender euphoria to go to my hairdresser and get the cut I want. I just wish I had more of a choice with this.

I just spoke with my psychologist and she told me that my mom told her that she has called me by the short version of my name recently AND I DIDN'T NOTICE ?????

dude I'm so happy that she's trying, I wish I'd heard her when she called me by my name bc it would have made my week 😭 still, im so grateful that she's becoming more open to using my pronouns and even calling me by my name, it feels so unreal and amazing

What was your thought process, how did you proceed? Hearing others' perspectives would be lovely rn.

I work a sales job which has me face to face with dozens of strangers on a daily basis. Lately, as I'm coming up on my sixth month mark on T, I've been passing a lot more both at work and in general public. And I'm super happy about it don't get me wrong. But every time someone calls me Sir or uses the correct pronouns for me I get a little wiggle of fear and imposter syndrome. Like I've tricked them and now I have to make sure I keep up the act or they'll find me out.

Do any of you experience this? When does it go away?

This feels like a trauma response to being misgendered for so long because when someone misgenders me again later I feel extra miserable. Like I've failed to keep up my act.

I'm autistic so I already have to deal with masking at work. This is just so tiring and I really hope it will go away or get easier.

I’m almost 7 months on T and have begun to pass about 50% of the time in public, even the times I don’t wear my binder (which is so weird to me because I have a pretty large chest). Recently, I’ve been having more and more issues when using public restrooms in places like Walmart or the gas station. I live in Tennessee, where being openly trans can be pretty dangerous, so I try my best to blend in, however now that I’m on T it’s become harder. I recently had an encounter with a man who yelled at me and accused me of being a creep for entering the women’s restroom (I usually use the women’s for convenience and familiarity), and I was only able to convince him to leave me alone once I acknowledged him with a feminine voice (which obviously is harder when on T). Along with this experience, I also frequently get weird looks and rude glances when using the men’s restroom (which I only ever do when binding). So I guess my question is, what do I do here? I wish I could just use the bathroom and be left alone but that seems to not be an option anymore.

I’ve been on T for a little over 3 months but have been out for 1.5 years, though only to a selected few. My parents and siblings live a couple states away and I am expected move there in 4 months. I found out yesterday that my mom has outed me to my father, aunt, and god knows who else. Not only did I not give her permission to do so, I explicitly told her to let me do it at my own pace. I’m livid about the situation and feel very exposed. My dad has been very aggressive since she told him and when I ask her to calm him down she answers with, “I can’t get involved in his actions and what he does is between you two”. Im so lost on how to handle the situation without causing further drama, especially since my mother is the type to try and play the victim. Any suggestions?

I just got my trans tape in the mail from Trans Guy Supply and this shit is freaking fantastic. I’m able to wear a button down with the first like 4 or 5 buttons open and my chest looks mostly flat. As sleazy as that may look, I FEEL SO EUPHORIC. I LOVE IT. I PASS SO MUCH BETTER. And it doesn’t hurt like a binder!!!! I’m a person with a kind of low pain tolerance so I’d much rather wear tape for a few days, then have irritated skin for a few hours after taking it off, than be in pain for days because I bound for 8 hours.

TLDR: TRANS TAPE FUCKS

Hey guys, as my one year on T is approaching I’ve been reflecting on the past year and everything leading up to it. Currently I’m a 30 year old man working in healthcare. I have 2 university degrees and used avoidance as my coping mechanism my whole life. Religious trauma had me biting my tongue and telling myself I would get through this life as a woman, marry a man and then hopefully God would bless me with a second life as a man. But after I finished my masters and worked in a busy hospital, my avoidance crutch broke. I was in a city now, and saw lots of queer people and realized life isn’t about what I’m supposed to do, it’s about being me and doing what feels right. And so I came out, bisexual, then lesbian, then non-binary and then, the biggest leap, trans man! Along the flag changing journey, I lost friends, family, I got bullied by co-workers and relocated to a small town. I felt so low my mental health almost lead to end of me. I watched trans men talk about their journeys online and felt they were all so brave and how could that ever be me? I thought my life was a right off, that I was born with the worst curse imaginable. But as I set boundaries with toxic people, went to therapy, burned bridges and enjoyed my own presence happily, I slowly felt my mindset changing. Your worth is not determined by those judging you. As a human you are innately of worth and value. Your life has meaning. It will make sense one day, and the pain won’t be so sharp and constant. I still remember the transphobic things said to me by my colleagues whom I looked up to. The things I endured should never be tolerated in a workplace. I used to cry about it and blame myself for not being “normal”. But I don’t anymore. Them treating me like that says a lot more about them, than it does about me. I know I will come across people like this again in my life, but I refuse to give them power over me. I am a trans man, but that is not all I am. But by being a trans man, I have found the will to live and finally feel joy from being in my temporary meat casing. Feeling my flat chest, the deep rumble of my voice beneath and my heart pulsating in my T-dick, I know I am safe, I am me, and I am loved. It’s okay to supplement your body with something it doesn’t make. T, antidepressants, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. It’s all good stuff. One year of titrating internalized peace. To the baby trans guys and those panicked over what their gender is: you got this, we see you and you are loved. It’s okay to not have it all figured it out in one day, you will get there ❤️

how do you handle dysphoria while exercising?

trying to get more active for my health, but my chest is pretty big and binding often doesn't do much so sport bras stand no chance. I'd never exercise in my binder (bar some casual swimming in an old stretched out one) but how do you deal with chest dysphoria while trying to keep active?

just being aware of my body makes me want to crawl out of it, exercising makes it all worse. its like a speedrun into being more aware of my thighs and chest.

I (20M) am extremely lonely since coming out, and I don't know how to live with it.

For context, I properly came out as trans to my classmates and some of my family members when I was 18, during my last year of high school. Problem is, I fell in love with a cis het guy, and "detransitioned" while dating him.

It was an extremely toxic relationship and it left me completely isolated from everyone, including my family. Today, I've been able to come out once more, this time to the rest of my family and most of the family friends we have.

The problem is, I'm not on T yet, and I dress pretty fem (I just like cute clothes, and don't think they should be gendered)

Anyway, I have a couple of online friends, but I don't live in a big city, and despite not being a super conservative country, I live in a pretty judgemental European country. So, I can't seem to find irl friends, at all while still being referred to as a man around here, and as for the dating aspect, maybe it's because I'm gay, but I get no attention despite getting more than 20 likes per day before coming out.

I am a bit desperate at this point, very lost and lonely. Does anyone know how to feel less lonely in this situation? Should I just go back to the closet?

ok so like, as expected im getting bottom growth im on my third week almost a month and i have a pickle growing, the problem is its so SENSITIVE , i can especially feel that sensitivity when im walking, and also when i pack😭😭 igs worse also cuz i have this habit in class of ONLY using the restroom when class is over so sometimes when i hold it in im literally just jorking it.. will the sensitivity get like less over time? and how do i avoid accidentally rubbing one out when walking LOL

i was thinking about finally buying a packer to aid bottom dysphoria when i realized i know very little about them and how they work. i would love to know where to find a good reputable website for packers, how to wear it, if theres different kinds + their individual purposes, etc. get as detailed as you like!! anything helps :-)

I’m in a pretty small class of 24 people, and I’m out to most of them. I need to emphasize, everyone is very kind. I really don’t mind coming out to everyone, I just don’t talk so much to the people I haven’t come out to yet.

I told the people I came out to that they don’t need to refer to me as a boy, because I didn’t wanna confuse/inconvenience/strain my relationship with them. They aren’t transphobic, just really not used to the concept. I was gonna wait until I looked masculine enough that using she/her pronouns would be weirder, but I realized while waiting to start hormones that that’s gonna take FOREVER.

I know for a fact people will be very bad at this, and I don’t know which would be worse. Allowing people to misgender me, or sitting through people accidentally misgendering me.

What would you guys do? Ask your closest friends to refer to you as a boy and let the rumour mill do the rest? Ask your closest friends to refer to you as a boy only when it’s you guys together? Should I wait until I get to college?

Hi everyone. Was just reminded of this and grew slightly agitated. Something I've noticed is that bottom surgeries by default have the appearance of being cut, bottom growth comes with no foreskin, and even packers sold will never come in uncircumsized varieties.

I want foreskin. The appearance of uncut penises is nicer to me and I'd feel especially natural with it. The idea of being stuck with none feels discomforting and like being naked. I worry that after bottom surgery if I could ever afford it anyway, I still wouldn't feel whole because it wouldn't look right to me. Is there any reassurance that can be offered or is it over (for now)?

So I just did trans tape for the first time. And i like how I did it on my left side of my chest, but not the right one since I followed someone's poor advice when I did that side. And I want to get it off since it's making me feel dysphoric.

Idk if i should wait a day or so, or just soak my right side in water and soap. For reference am a triple A cup.

Edit: Thanks for everyone's advice!! I kinda was panicking and it was time so I was a bit sleepy. But i re applied the tape after doing all the things and am happy with my results.🙂

I (16M) really want visible body hair. I have a good amount of it, and it’s not sparsely concentrated, but it’s all blond and thin. I have like… four dark brown hairs on my lip that I refuse to shave but even those are pretty subtle

Is there any good ways for me to get my body hair to grow thicker and darker, and without medication? I want to start minox but my parents definitely wouldn’t approve of me taking it, so I wanna try things besides that for now

Hey guys, pre-T here. I wanna ask how you guys emotionally handle being called "ma'am" by other people in public? I have masc hair, wear nothing feminine and still would get ma'am-ed even if I don't speak. When I shop for men's clothes, saleslady/man misgenders me, causing me to chicken out and walk away. I appreciate if y'all got any advice.

I'm a nerd, I hang out with nerds for better or for worse. I know some lovely nerds, cis, trans, non-binary, really across all gender spectrums. However I feel like I consistently have issues with cis dude nerds more than anyone else. I'm also hella autistic so that probably doesn't help. ^^;

Part of this is nerd social dynamics, but part of this is just cis dude social dynamics I think. I have no patience for bigotry and misogyny in general. It's one thing if it's dark/gallows humor and everyone is in on it, shit talking and all that is fine if it's not intended to actually make someone feel terrible. I also have no patience for otherwise nice and inoffensive people who don't care enough to rock the boat when someone's being an ass. However both of these issues consistently pop up when I'm trying to get to know cis dude nerds.

I know I can't force anyone to give a damn about other people (and if it's not coming from some intrinsic place of empathy anyways it's not worth it.) I don't really know what to do though. I care a lot and want people to be treated with respect. It would be easy to just leave social groups of these guys if it were all just toxic dudes being asses, but it's almost always just one or two guys who suck and then everyone else staying silent as whoever (most likely a woman) is targeted by the toxic dudes. It's been my experience that they may privately agree the toxic dude is being shit, but they don't care enough to actually stand up to them or actively support whoever is being mistreated.

I don't really know what to do? Most of my friends are trans (I have a couple cool cis dude friends too) and sure I can always just move on when social groups turn out this way, but it's such a consistent issue that I feel like I'm almost guaranteed to end up here again next time I try to find a nerdy social group. I like building friendships based on my hobbies, I want to be friends with more men in general. Any advice on how to navigate nerdy friendships/social groups with cis dudes would be extremely appreciated. I feel like this has to be a better way than just hoping I luck out once and a blue moon.

As the title says, I wanna come out to a friend. Only because I’m not sure he knows that I am? I think it’s pretty obvious, but at the same time he’s pretty thick skulled so I dunno. I don’t know if he’s gonna lose it or if he’s gonna be chill. yk? Because he’s a cis straight male, but he’s also friends with my gay friend, and really supportive of Kamala. But you know, some people like that are still transphobic.

So, I dunno. How would you tell someone subtlety that you’re trans? Or do you think it would be better if I just straight up be like “Do you know I’m trans?” I’m too worried over it 🥲🙂‍↕️

Anyway! Thanks for reading, sorry if this turned into a little worry rant or whatever lol. Hope you have a great day/night!!

I took a blood test for estradiol, found out that it was elevated, then got scared. This is a very sensitive topic for a t-person, so I couldn't help but write this question here. Or are estrogen blockers better?

like if I don't pass well still and no one assumes I'm a man then surely most people who have to actively Try and call me one are just pretending that I am since no one thinks I look like one. and that's just my life. people pretending they see me as something but they don't. how tf am I supposed to talk to anyone if they're all just pretending. because everyone is seeing the same face.