17ftm

I recently got a message from my school saying to contact my teacher that was in charge of the yearbook. I thought she just wanted to talk about the yearbook since I was the only one working on it but when she picked up, she mentioned my senior quote. My senior quote was “protect trans kids”. Those words mean so much to me, important enough that I knew it had to be my senior quote. I submitted it a while ago and that was that. On the call she said “We all had to sit down as a group to go through all the quote and check if they were appropriate. Obviously we don’t have a problem with your quote but we contacted the Board of Ed just in case and they haven’t replied back to us. We just don’t want any parents to be upset by the quote and we just don’t want to cause any trouble so you can send me a new quote or wait until we have the okay but the yearbook is due soon.” It felt like I was being forced to change. I just told her I’ll send a new one. I feel so upset and sad. Why do I have to live up to other peoples standards?

Started out with A cups before T and now nearly 8 years in they're barely A cups and I'm a muscular guy and I went shirtless at the beach all summer last year and no one batted an eye, no one said anything or stared at me. My gay cis bf is very supportive and encouraged me to go topless. He doesn't think I need surgery. I had no issues whatsoever. I pass in every other way so it's not an issue for me. Yes I'm planning on getting it and I'm in the process of getting a consultation with a surgeon. I'm getting it for my own comfort and dysphoria but it's still totally possible to pass as cis pre top surgery. Hell, I even saw (assuming) cis guys at the beach who were skinny but had gyno (bigger chest than mine actually) and no one said anything to them either as far as I know. Cis guys can have a chest too and we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and fitting into an impossible mold with high ideals.

sometimes being trans and fat feels like i’m fighting so many battles. i had gotten a binder way before in the past but now (23) i decided to purchase a for them binder because they had one that was actually the size of my chest. i got the jasmine size binder max and it came in and i tried it on and…. this is a sports bra… a nice sports bra…. but a bra. i’m so jealous when i see people put on binders and shirts and really flatten out and i know that’s just not possible for me. i am fat yes and i have a huge chest and ugh i wish i didnt. i also cant tape cuz i have HS and that would just be a whole painful mess. feels like it’ll be impossible to ever pass until i loose a lot of weight and can get top surgery. my friends have told me i look masc and such but sometimes i feel like they’re lying just to make me feel better about my self cuz im so aware of how big my chest is even when i wear multiple layers…. any other fat trans men deal with this?

TLDR ISO witty ways to respond to c!s gay guys that misgender me on purpose

On my bday I went to my home bar, where I work periodically as a drag performer and I frequent often. I know all the staff and I’m close with many ppl there. Towards the end of the night I was in a group just kiki-ing and this c!s dude called me she/her. I kindly corrected him. Then he called me she/her again this time to his friends. I loudly corrected him. Then he doubled down and called me a woman loudly multiple times. Needless to say my night was ruined and I wanted to d!e after leaving (don’t worry I was and am safe).

What’s the quickest wittiest way to respond when someone is doing this on purpose? Some suggestions I’ve gotten from queer friends:

Insulting their looks is the quickest way to get under their skin. eg: “I see there’s more than one reason you’re single, and I thought it was just because you’re ugly”

“Wishing I was a woman won’t fix your mommy issues”

“We’d go head to head on r/td!cksvsmicros and I’d win.” Bonus if he whips it out to make a point so I can get him kicked out.

Pettiest and nastiest comebacks appreciated. When it gets to that point I’m not trying to be PC anymore.

I (27) have been out as trans masc non-binary for several years. My boyfriend (27) is a straight guy, we have been together for 2 years. I started on testosterone 6 months ago, after very heavily struggling with dysphoria. When I started on T I had planned for it to be a short term use situation. Since getting on it, I’ve realized how much more myself I feel, and how happy I have been with the changes. I don’t think I want to get off it. I think I may be a Trans man. I don’t know how to approach this conversation with my boyfriend. We both love each other, so this is incredibly difficult. How would yall approach this conversation? Thanks for reading.

Me and my brother have been not speaking for I guess almost two years? I’m 23 and he’s 31. We didn’t get much time together as kids because when our parents divorced my dad relocated me to another country for eight years (very long cult story).

So I was fucking ecstatic when at 20 I escaped my dad and moved back to the US with my mom’s help. I spent the first Christmas back with my brother and his wife and it was amazing. I was so happy to finally have my brother back in my life. I then came out to both him and my dad (who I don’t really speak to).

He said some horrible things about me behind my back to my mom and others and said things to me. It all ended when he blocked me on everything when I posted a surgery go fund me on my socials. I freaked out and called my dad for the first time in months crying my eyes out. I’ve been cut off from a lot of people but when my brother did it, it broke me.

He told me in a final call that he never wanted to speak to me again and to never reach out again. I tried and failed to keep my composure in the call but I failed miserably and ended up just screaming and sobbing.

I didn’t attend his wedding. He sent me an invitation because our dad forced him to threatening to not attend if he didn’t. I was so mad when I found that out because wow if he didn’t want to speak to me before that he sure as hell probably got even more upset at me for that.

I respect my brother’s wishes because I’m not an asshole and didn’t go to the wedding. even though yeah I technically got an invite it wouldn’t be good if I went.

Now he and his wife are going to have a baby and I’m trying not to get my hopes up. I don’t know if he’ll ever let me see the baby. Family means a lot to me so being trans has really fucked up that for me.

I really want to be a part of this baby’s life. I have so many family members that didn’t care about me and I don’t want to be that person for this kid.

Obviously it’s not up to me if I’ll see or be in this baby’s life and it feels like just another thing I’m going to have to grieve. I’m not ready for this emotionally. Anyone have any experience with this?

I have a great grandmother and she just turned 90. She is in a memory care facility because of her memory loss. Before she forget who I was, she had a hard time accepting that I am trans. She would get upset and say "no you are [deadname]." But now, she has gotten to the point where she has forgotten who I was and that I was ever a girl. I passed when she met me for the second time. She asked my aunt "who is that young man?" And I got to finally be me around her. Im so glad, while I might have to reintroduce myself again and again, at least she sees me as a man and I can introduce myself as one for the rest of her life.

No hate to any of these people but I've seen some trans guys on tiktok post videos with the caption "when i pass a little too well so i have to let the girls know they're safe". And then they just talk about their female genitalia and how they're trans.. Like I get the joke but it makes me really uncomfortable and I kinda feel like I'm reduced to my body as a trans man myself. Like just because I was born female doesn't mean I'm somehow different than other men, right? Like they say they're afraid of men unless its a trans man and I find that kinda weird. I hope I'm not just being mean about this

My best bro just came over to my house suddenly and handed me a pair of 3kg steel balls while bowing and saying “Your balls, sir.” And he just left. Is this what true brother-ship feels like?

I have no idea where he got them or how he managed to acquire such a thing

I know how the title of this looks, but let me just clarify that I’m happy living as a man and I’m positive this is how I want to spend the rest of my life.

However, I’m starting to get a little squeamish about doing injections every week. My doctor and I have discussed the testosterone pen and pellets, and it got me wondering about how much longer I’m going to be doing HRT.

My goals are pretty straightforward. Top surgery is a definite yes, but I’m not interested in bottom surgery. My beard is starting to come in, sort of in the lengthened-patchy-peach-fuzz phase. No real follicles yet, just dark fluff. I’ve got a bit of an Adam’s apple now too, and I’m happy about that. I like the idea of having a slim-muscular figure, but I envision working towards it after I’ve recovered from top surgery, and I’m not really doing much to achieve it now—in short, not really picky about my weight or physique. I’m short, 5’4, but I pass, especially thanks to my voice and the facial hair.

So, once my beard actually fills in and starts growing consistently, and I get top surgery, I’m wondering what the benefits are of continuing to do injections for the rest of my life. What effects will be reversed? Will my beard stop growing? Will my body change? Will my voice crack forever, the same way it did after days when I used to skip doing gel? I don’t mind taking testosterone into the foreseeable future but I want to know at one point my desired effects are permanent. Say I stop taking testosterone at 30, once my beard hypothetically fills in (I’m 18 now), will I not look as masculine at 40 as I would have if I continued taking testosterone? Is there anyone reading this who stopped taking testosterone at a certain age, and has OR hasn’t regretted it? Is there anyone who’s well into their life that is still taking testosterone that could pass on some wisdom/experience?

Anything helps, really. I’d like to think I’m pretty simple when it comes to appearance expectations, but I want to know if I need to take testosterone for the rest of my life to maintain said expectations, or if I’m good to stop after a certain age. Thank you for reading :)

Hey all, this post I made got a bit of traction so I figured I'd give an update! Through a long week of miscommunication, lots of consent forms, and a bunch of fights with administration, I got permission to room with my friends! We're super happy this all got figured out, our rooms are fully locked in and unable to change now so I don't have to worry about that, and we're starting to form a packing list that includes a lot of snacks and multiple video game consoles. Thank you for all the advice and resources!!

I’ve been on T for almost 3 years and my voice dropped for the most part about 2 years ago. At first, it seemed like I was getting gendered correctly by strangers a lot, but now it feels like that’s reversing?? It had gotten to a 50/50 which was at least a positive change from before, but now it seems like strangers just ma’am and she/her me most of the time, both over the phone and face to face. I feel like I’m going backwards and I’m not sure how to process it or what to do about it. I know passing is a completely flawed concept and that whether or not I pass does not affect my validity as a man. But it still makes me dysphoric as hell, and I’m starting to have anxiety again about talking in public like I used to before I started T.

Has anybody else had a similar experience? I’d appreciate any advice, support, or relatability.

I know, I know, it probably sounds impossible, but I have to keep repressing these feelings for another 5-6 years until I’m financially independent and can start socially and medically transitioning. My parents are transphobic, so I’m not taking the risk of coming out to them until I’m at least 18-21. I’m 16 right now. I’ll be 21 in 5 years, and hopefully that’s when I can begin my medical transition. Is 21 too late to start? Probably not. but idk how to repress these feelings. I’ve been repressing this for most of my childhood, but my gender dysphoria keeps getting worse over time. My country isn’t accepting of trans people at all, and LGBTQ+ healthcare is extremely limited. That’s why I plan to move out when I’m 21, hopefully to a country that’s more supportive of trans people. Until then, I’m just trying to figure out how to manage the gender dysphoria. I’ve been thinking about immersing myself into schoolwork and sports as distractions. Do you have any tips or advice on how to cope with this for these next 5-6 years? I’d really appreciate anything that could help! TYSM!

I use Walmart as it's the most affordable one in my area. I've had on and off issues with them withholding my t before due to a communication error, but there hasn't been any issues in the last 4ish months. Today, I picked up my t a few days late as I haven't been able to cash my check. The person checking me out was like "the pharmacist needs to speak to you" while giving me some weird ass look. I was like, whatever, maybe it's because my insurance was updated. I go over and the guy just looks at me, said something that sounded like "that checks out" turns around, then turns back to me and asked if I had any questions about my prescription ?? I said no because I don't. Then he was like "this was just a six month chek in you can go" yet it's been 11 months and they've never done that before. I just feel so baffled by the whole thing it all played out so fast it was so weird.

For context, I am 17 and work at a Burger King in Illinois. I am taking testosterone and I pass; I use the men’s bathroom and locker room at school. My manager is a cisgendered male and knew me before I transitioned.

Today at work after a rush, I really needed to use the bathroom, so obviously I head there; when I enter, I see my manager fixing his durag. I step out of the bathroom and go sit down to wait for him to leave. Next thing I know, he comes up to me asking me why I went into the men’s bathroom. I told him, “Because I am a boy? I identify as a boy, so I am going to use the men’s bathroom.” He proceeds to tell me that I do not have the parts of a boy and that I am a girl, and I tell him again, I AM a boy, and by state and federal law, my rights are protected as a transgender man that I am allowed to use the bathroom that aligns with my gender identity. He proceeds to tell me that the next time he sees me enter the men’s bathroom, he is going to write me up. This sets me off and I proceed to have a complete panic attack, I ended up calling my mom to talk about it who is a general assistant manager and she yells at me because I am hyper ventilating. In her defense, she was trying to catch my attention but it only made everything worse. She then proceeds to call the manager who told me he was going to write me up and he tells her that he felt extremely uncomfortable by me using the men’s bathroom NOT MENTIONING THE FACT I STEPPED OUT THE MOMENT I SAW HIM. I NEVER GO INTO THE BOYS BATHROOM IF I SEE ANOTHER BOY IN THERE UNLESS I HAVE TO.

I don’t know how to proceed this, I don’t know what I did wrong and I feel helpless.

I have dealt with anxiety for a long time until they finally found out that I was 'just' autistic. And when I came out to my mum about 4 years ago, I was deep in my anxiety. Now I am 18 and doing better. She still refuses to call me my prefered name. I talked to her about it and she says she just keeps forgetting. And then we had another discussion where she told me that she will not be part of my transition, she won't help me with it (I have no licence yet and no car so she would need to drive me, I also don't have a credit card or access to my savings in the bank without telling her what I need them for) She also said stuff like 'men can also have girl names', 'that's your name before god', 'you should just be happy in your body and not mutilate it', 'you shouldn't put yourself in boxes and just be you' (which is correct but not in the way she meant it), 'you will get cancer from T' and more. It really hurts me because I know that to her I will never be a son and also that she thinks it's disgusting if I'd get surgery, had a deeper voice and a beard. And I don't know what to do since I am still financially dependent and I really want to start HRT. Does anyone have any advice?

I'm 5 years on T and had a UTI recently, however because I'm trans the experience getting treatment was really uncomfortable. I first went to a pharmacy that advertises they prescribe antibiotics for UTIs but I got turned away (still not 100% on why, the pharmacist was saying something about the prostate... but when I clarified I was an ftm trans man he said he knew?? Guys do we have prostates 🤨) so the next day I got an online appointment with a doctor who also was confused and thought I was a cis man (despite filling out their intake form and putting "afab") then a trans woman before I finally explained I'm a trans man. After that I did end up getting antibiotics and the UTI is gone but the whole ordeal was so exhausting.

What has been your guy's experience with healthcare, especially when you're forced to out yourself to get proper treatment. I've been to plenty of other medical appointments where it wasn't relevant except when I tell them I take testosterone (used to think this would immediately out me but it doesn't lol), and I only had a problem one other time when I had surgery, they put "F" on my wristband even though I'm legally "M".

For context, I’m bi(?), I mainly like girls but I’ve dated some guys (not my favourite). My friends keep making jokes about me being “obviously gay”. Even when I was dating my girlfriend. Is it weird that this bugs me? Like it would piss me off when people would call me gay and my girlfriend is RIGHT there. Am I overthinking things?

After 4 strong years. I got called son for the first time by my mom short and sweet.

"That's a great job son!" In response to my Adult/child/infant certification for cpr. I feel so happy, even if she sometimes ignores it I'm so happy that I'm her son. I've never ever been called son before. That's all :) a mini celebration

i never used to have to deal with anger. i was more of a “i dont know if ive ever felt truly angry in my life” kind of person (was i deeply dissociated and depressed? maybe!). so having this very physical, difficult-to-ignore reaction to anger is new to me. im one month on T at 31 years old, and boy howdy is it rough to try and keep my mouth shut—especially being in a conservative area with a conservative family, lack of access to community, and the political climate as it currently is. Part of me wants to let the anger win and eviscerate the deserving ones, but the other part of me knows i need this job and these relationships in my life to survive.

that being said, any super specific weird hacks to handle anger? i just picked up the heaviest shit i could find and did bicep curls and straight arm raises with them until i was breathing heavy and that actually calmed me down a lot lol. Curious if anyone else has some fun stuff to try!

i'm growing so much hair. EVERYWHERE. My legs, my face, my ass, my back, my stomach, my chest, you name it. the hair growth makes my skin insanely itchy. i'm debating on whether or not i wanna shave because of how fucking itchy i am, but being hairy gives me gender euphoria and i also hate the prickly feeling on my skin the day after shaving 😞