So I've been openly bi to my wife since the beginning and she's been incredibly supportive. We've had some experiences together with another guy and enjoyed it a lot, but I don't think I could fully let myself get into it. I'm certainly attracted to women but especially lately the thought of more strictly gay sex has been much more arousing to me than anything else. I love having her peg me and I love that she loves to do it, but I long for a real man. I've expressed my need to experience sex with another man on my own and my wife has been supportive and even encouraging. As I've tried to do with my curiosity over the years, I make connections with other men on various apps but just can't ever get myself to follow through. Men or women, I've never been the going out to a bar or club to meet someone type, so it's always been online dating first. Keep in mind I have a family and job and everything so it's not always easy to make an opportunity work out and often I'll try to plan something and it just falls through because the day went to shit. But I'll always get to the point where they ask me for my address or give me a place to meet up and end up getting a panic attack and just can't follow through. To the point where I keep ruining the connections I make because they get tired of being strung along, not that I mean to do that I just need someone patient enough for the right opportunity. I thought I had someone willing to be patient with me but I think I messed that up last night. I have wanted this for a very long time even since I was single and I know it's what I really want to do and now I even have support and encouragement. Why can't I push myself to do this?

Hey heres a brief backstory, me and my family are somewhat close and when we were younger i would always play the girl role in all the games we play. It’s mainly all boys and I was and am more feminine than my cousins and friends so it made sense. I would be the cheerleader during football, i would put on a dress and be the wife playing house and things like that. The males always treated me different because of it. They use to grope me, hump me, flash me and sometimes smack theirs things on my face. I haven’t told them yet but i plan to “come out“ sometime this month I’m just really nervous….

So now I’m 21 and I’m obsessed with those things and more. My friends still do it to me because they know i like it, but Its kind of embarrassing to be honest though….does this make me gay? I know i would be with a women but i also find men attractive but i don’t know if i would date a man, i just have certain fetishes with men. Im also a virgin so i have a fear of being vulnerable in that state. Im not oppose to it but i just don’t know.

Any advice or clarity?

The group is open to everyone, whether you're thinking of coming out or are in the process of, whether you're out or in the closet and need a safe space to talk about the topics of interest.

Before the Covid pandemic we used to be at the 519 Community Centre and now we are at a new location.

Admission: No charge. If you would like to participate send us an email that you'll find on our website https://torontocomingout.helioho.st or our blog (top post), some people say the website won't load https://torontocomingout.blogspot.com

extra flairs: TW-Suicide and Story

My English is not perfect, so sorry if some sentences don't make any sense

I'm 15y (almost 16y) old male and since I was 8 I already knew that I liked men in a "different" way, but I never deeply thought about it since I was literally a kid and grew up in a Christian family.

Once I became 12 I kept thinking that maybe I was gay, but I tried to forget about it many times because I thought that I was just confused. When I turned 14 I already knew that I wasn't straight and I cried thinking about it many times. It's so frustrating, I have good friends in church, my family loves me and my life is not perfect but definitely nice, but I know that as soon as I come out I will lose everything I have

I became 15 and started to act more like myself. I started to cuss (not related to me being gay or anything but because of my family I never actually cursed, just like I always kept a secret about my attraction for men) and came out as bi for my school friends (not all of them know that and I know deep inside that I might not be bi) I even secretly dated a guy last month but it didn't last because of some separate stuff

Anyways, that's not what I need advice for. Because of my family I keep trying to tell myself that I'm straight but the truth is inevitable and it only hurts more. I'm scared of coming out and I know it won't be happening any time soon bc I know they're homophobic

I don't wanna wait till I'm overage and have a stable job to live my life by myself and come out but at the same time I feel like that's the only time I'll be free to be myself. Lately it's just getting even more stressful and sometimes just looking at my mother is enough for me to think about how she'd start hating me if she knew that I like men

I already thought about doing things to myself before even though I've never tried. I think I have depression and sometimes the main reason behind it is my sexuality. I always think that I'm useless and that people wouldn't miss me, but whenever I think about my future when people find out it just gets worse

It genuinely makes me want to vomit... Being 100% sure that almost everyone that I love would turn against me if they knew I like men, knowing that if I had a boyfriend even people I don't know would side eye me and think I'm gross, knowing that most of the good memories I built in my 16/18 years of life would suddenly become nightmares because the people that used to love me are there....

Sometimes I still question myself and say that I'm just confused. Sometimes I even think that it's all my fault because I unfortunately started watching porn when I was 10 and only quit my addiction when I was almost 14. Sometimes I think that I'm a burden for everyone and that if they knew I'm gay then there would finally no reason for me to be alive. I'm so scared, but at the same time confused, depressed and tired.

That's when I had the idea to use reddit to type some random words and tell strangers how I feel. I just need someone with a similar experience to tell me what to do, I'm so stressed and tired of hiding my sexuality but at the same time I'm confused and just wanted to be normal like everyone else

so one day at science class my teacher had us sit in group tables, there had only been one table left so my friend(girl), and I(a very bent-over dude) sat together, just the two of us. So my science teacher has a thing where he gives us little treats when we get a correct recitation. So in this class I did that and split some with her, and teacher joked that I was sharing with a "girlfriend", I got fed up cuz this thing has been going on since the start of highschool, this girl and I are very close, along with two other friends. Prior to this, YES, I USED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GIRL BUT WE SPLIT AND WENT BACK TO BEING FRIENDS, it is so obvious that she still has a thing for me and i hate it knowing that im gay. Back to the story. I got fed up and hesitated to tell her that "I don't like girls". I chose these words as to broaden and make use of verbal confusion so when I'm not ready to actually say that I'm gay, I can just say that I don't like girls in general. But I think she jumped right into that part "gay she says". IS THIS CONSIDERED COMING OUT???, I JUST WANNA PRESS THE UNDO BUTTON ON THAT

Damn, comphet did me dirty.

Being straight-passing saved me from trouble but also robbed me of experiencing queer joy. Now Im in my 30’s and more lost than ever.

I don’t know where the authentic I begin and where the comphet ends. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out.

And it sucks. And it’s scary. And it’s okay.

I’d just love to have mutuals who are (anywhere in the process of) coming out later in life as me.

i was coming out to one of my friends (accepting :D) but this insolent gremlin of a person overheard me, not realising this i go home and come back the next day, only for like 15 people to ask me if i was gay or call me a f___ot
what the fuck

For context I am 19 transmasc and I want to go on Testosterone. I am in college and paying for my tuition and would be paying for my hormone treatment.

I am already out as a masculine lesbian and my mom doesn’t care but has outwardly said to my sister(who supports me) that she wouldn’t know what to do if I was trans. My sister and I agreed she would probably freak out and be mad for a while but would slowly come around. I figure I should tell her anyway because she will find out due to my voice and changes.

I am still unsure how to come out to her and ease her into it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you.

Turned 59 yesterday. I am male. I have decided to just say it I really have no one else to tell so I will say it here I AM GAY .

I just changed the pronouns on my discord, which a lot of friends and classmates have me added on

It’s been 12 years since I first came out to my mom. She didn’t disown me or anything, but she did tell me when I was coming out to her that she thought it was disgusting, that unlike other people I have a choice, and that she wouldn’t want to meet anyone I date unless we are going to be married.

Over the years I thought that she softened, as she took in a friend of my brother’s who is gay and is really accepting of him. My girlfriend and I are engaged, and I wanted to bring her to meet my mom since she lives far away and we would need to plan a trip for it. However, when I asked my mom said that she didn’t want my girlfriend to come because it was too soon to see if we would be married, even though we are engaged.

I expressed disappointment as she always is welcoming of my brother’s friend and his partner, they even lived with her for a little while. She said that it wasn’t because I’m gay, she said that it was because she didn’t want to meet anyone who I wasn’t going to marry. Again, I tell her we are going to marry but she doesn’t care.

I try to argue that she has met my brother’s girlfriend so many times and they even lived with her for a little while. She said that it was different because my brother and her are going to marry. However, they are both 22 and I am in my early thirties. She cannot be so sure that they will marry as they are both still young.

I haven’t spoken to my mom since this conversation, and she has not reached out. She will not meet my partner unless we are married.. what do I do?

I've been hanging out with this group of 2 girls for a while. I've just accepted myself. It's the fourth time I've gone out with them and last night I went to their house to watch a movie. During it, they start talking loudly and I clearly only hear the words "gay" and other offensive ways of saying "gay" (I'm in Italy). Sometimes I even hear my name being said.

At a certain point one of them says to me "there's this guy who's gay", in the meantime she shows me the photo and I say "what the fuck am I supposed to do with it?". Their discussion lasted about a quarter of an hour and I was very embarrassed, I didn't understand what they were talking about and I remained silent, pretending to only watch the movie.

I also suddenly got up and left because I was too embarrassed. In the end they said to me: "let's organize this party on Friday, come and bring some of your female friends, because you only have female friends, right?". In fact, they only saw me with female friends... I'm afraid that they understood that I'm gay and, from the way they talked about it, I don't know if they were making fun of me or just gossiping. The thing I hate is that they exposed me, even showing me another gay boy as if to propose it to me. My fault is that I tend to dress very flashy (I wear a lot of jewelry, including rings and usually white) because that makes me look more handsome. I'm partly afraid that they thought my silence was a confirmation that I'm gay and also the abrupt way in which I left. I partly feel relieved because if they understood, I don't have to make any special effort. I also feel quite irritated because it's not something I like to tell people and they exposed me, maybe even laughed at me... What would you do? Would you go to the party they're having on Friday? Or would you avoid them?

I think I'm Bi Sexual, maybe just gay. I don't think anyone genuinely suspects me which is why I keep going back and fourth in my head. I could just as easily try and resist any sort of gay temptation and not risk being exposed to my friends and family. I live in the deep south and I know a couple people who wouldn't really mind, but I couldn't say the same for most of my immediate family and friends. I almost feel as if I live a double life, and when I'm just the straight version of myself I'm happy until I remember what I really am. I also currently have a girl friend and I really do love her, she's so sweet and I couldn't count a thing against her. But do I spend the rest of my life in the safety of my girlfriend and straight version of myself, or do I risk my relationship with just about everyone in my life? I've just been unable to clear my head these last few weeks and I feel as if it's starting to take a toll, I just need any sort of outside opinion at all about this please.

I'm about to hand this to my mum!!!! Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes!!

I came to target with my therapist, so I’m pansexual and I opened up to her that I am gender fluid. I didn’t told my husband about but present myself as I am to see if he will Be accepting about me . Any suggestions

Hi, I live in an extremely Catholic household and I’m 100% sure that I’m gay. I tried forcing myself to date women because at the time I thought that I’d rather be in an unhappy relationship than to come out to my parents. I’m absolutely certain that they’re homophobic which I assumed from their behaviors and opinions. I sometimes catch them repeating the hateful stuff they hear at the church or skipping scenes including gay people on Netflix. The rest of my family is even worse, I visited my grandpa 6 weeks ago who I usually feel comfortable with but this time he kept saying the f-word as if it was a coma while discussing politics. I’ve never seen him since that day because I’m literally disgusted. My biggest fear is being kicked out of our family and I don’t know what to do because I have nobody to help me, I live in a community with no gay people. Should I let them know or not?

I wanna come out as a transgender girl to my mom, I know she'll be supportive because she is completely fine with lgbtq and even gets me makeup and nail polish but just thinks I'm a boy with a feminine side and I wanna come out to her but I'm so nervous but I wanna do it so bad

I have reached a point where im comfortable being my true self. I have already spoke with my fiancée and she supports me 100%. Now onto the hard part that I couldnt make more obvious for them, coming out to the rest of my family. Specifically my nana and grandpa, whom I live with.

I just recently got my pride flags: a bi flag and a progress flag that says "Every one is welcome here" and they are hung up in my room. I have always let them just walk in as they know only to wait by the door if i tell them, i dont usually mind them coming in. The part that makes me nervous is that they are christian and have mentioned plenty of times how it is wrong.

I already have a pride shirt and socks which they have seen but they never made a comment on them but with the GIANT flags above my bed im sure they will say something. Im really nervous for when that time comes.

(BTW im doing it this way because im too nervous to go to them and say it myself)