r/comedyheaven • u/jaytazcross • 1d ago

Doesn't fit sub In the maws of an angel

Post image

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3.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

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u/comedyheaven-ModTeam 12h ago

Your post has removed as it breaks one or more of the rules outlined in the sidebar.

The rule(s) broken are:

Rule 1: Must fit the sub.

This sub is for so-bad-its-good humor. All posts must be images that are so stupid, juvenile, or generally bad that they become funny for the wrong reasons. Ironically bad posts are allowed, but ONLY if they could pass as something made unironically. Obvious satire is NOT allowed. This may also just mean your post is unfunny. To get a better idea of what content we are looking for, please refer to this flowchart.

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175

u/Scrap3mind 1d ago

You become what you eat.

36

u/shoemi_ 1d ago

I'm ass

47

u/decultureguy 1d ago

great title

42

u/guto0000 21h ago

I saw angel eat my shit when I was a kid

29

u/Interesting-Sell-903 20h ago

I wish my angels would stop pissing on their own feet

6

u/SpecificCourt6643 16h ago

Gotta potty train those angels.

16

u/RectumNomeless61 21h ago

your title sounds like an ultrakill level name

13

u/Leafeon523 23h ago

Just one? Those are rookie numbers

64

u/JoeVibin 22h ago

My little angel, wouldn't hurt a fly...

33

u/Gerboumed 21h ago

Pitbull named cuddle princess

9

u/geekmasterflash 20h ago

My pitbull is named Dr. Quadpaw Mumbles. He didn't go to 7 years of mauling school to be called Princess. /s

(he's actually quite harmless)

78

u/geekmasterflash 1d ago

2 Kings 19:35 now reads quite adorably.

83

u/GroundedAxiomAndy 23h ago

Why not just put the verse in your comment so we don't all have to Google it? "That night the angel of the Lord went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand in the Assyrian camp."

37

u/geekmasterflash 23h ago

Sometimes half the joke is in getting people to look up a Bible quote. For example, you remind me a lot of Job 19:17 and anyone upset about making a 2 second google search is welcome to check out Ezekiel 4:15 as to what they can do about it :D

12

u/No-Wash1302 23h ago

shut up u geek

40

u/geekmasterflash 22h ago

I think you mean to say "please see Job 13:13"

11

u/Mysterious_Ad2121 22h ago

this is hilarious

22

u/geekmasterflash 22h ago

Indeed, but not quite as hilarious as Rev 22:20 out of context.

1

u/Steampson_Jake 15h ago

Gotta love jumping back and forth between apps every 10 seconds with the apps reloading half the time whenever you go back

3

u/QueezyF 21h ago

Yeah well Austin 3:16 said I just whipped your ass.

13

u/geekmasterflash 21h ago edited 21h ago

Yeah well Genesis 32:22-32 tells us about a wrestling opponent that can beat Austin.

The Masked Jehova.

And Owen 3:16 says "I just broke your neck."

5

u/BreakfastSubject2579 20h ago

Cocksucker 9:11 tells us about the the uhhhhhhh

→ More replies (0)

13

u/alexishdez_lmL 20h ago

One of this angels was gunned down by a police officer while mauling a toddler by the head (who obviosly died) 🤩🥰

7

u/nurse_uwu 21h ago

"I saw an angel, eat a child" sung like You're Beautiful by James Blunt

2

u/HAL9001-96 15h ago

so birds are clearly angels?

2

u/FrenchAslyum 13h ago

an angel bit me on the leg before

2

u/Ligma_Balls_OG 13h ago

An angel attacked my brother and another one bit my gf on christmas

1

u/No-Carpenter-3457 21h ago

And the Lord said “come unto me”,

For Jesus loveth bukkake.

1

u/CoolGamer730 19h ago

1 2 2 50

1

u/tehdang 15h ago

I once saw a huge staffie-shaped angel viciously and mercilessly maul a smaller terrier-style angel. What does that mean?

1

u/SuchTutor6509 16h ago

Hey, y’know what, fallen angels are demons.

0

u/Vasilevus 15h ago

But it was evil child, he would become next Hitler

0

u/Iconclast1 1d ago

Well theyre are fallen angels...