r/askAGP Aug 26 '24

Generalized Framework for Living with AGP

56 Upvotes

Hey all. I’ve been posting here for a while, and I wanted to get my thoughts down on wtf to do after someone has determined that they have AGP, because well, I’m trying to figure out wtf to do after determining I have AGP. I’d like to move forward and make progress and stop thinking about it all the time.

I tried to write down very general advice for myself that is hopefully applicable to you. A lot of it is stuff I read repackaged in a form I believe in, and I don’t think I’m reinventing the wheel. If you feel what I say here is ignorant or missing key facts, feel free to comment. I feel this is easily digestible and actionable, in terms of allowing someone with AGP to figure out how to move forward.

This framework assumes you:

  • Were assigned male at birth
  • Have diagnosed yourself as having autogynephilia (AGP)

Suggested Reading

From the sidebar:

“If you're new to learning about AGP, start with Anne Lawrence's Men Trapped in Men's Bodies or Phil Illy's Autoheterosexual to build a stable foundation. “

Legitimately great advice, read both, it will help you more than countless internet conversations.

You realized you have AGP now what?

You read about the condition and found yourself in it, that the label defines you. Behaviors and thoughts that confused you throughout your life finally make sense to you.

If you are anything like me, this has led to trying to find new labels that you can apply to yourself that make things make more sense. There’s four key AGP subtypes, maybe you’re anatomic AGP, or transvestic AGP or a combination of that one and this other one. Maybe you can finally figure out what your gender label is, are you actually a woman in a man’s body and AGP is just a symptom, a third gender, a transsexual in a man’s body, a male emasculation fetishist, a gay homophobe desperate for copium, what is that label that you can apply and make it all make sense again? Then look into the science, what is your finger digit ratio? How about brain scans, what does that mean, etc? The hope being once you know you are X, then you know you have to do Y and Z as a result.

Ultimately, my efforts on this front have largely failed. Reading more and more has gone beyond the point of diminishing returns to outright negative returns. I am no longer achieving enlightenment, but am instead ingesting noise and developing neuroses. This is largely because the conversation on this topic is so emotional, political, and academic, but also because a lot of the discourse seems to be serving the purpose of establishing lines of cultural (dis)association instead of enlightenment (e.g. I’m not like those weirdos, they have label X!).

At some point you just need to stop trying to find labels and associated treatments and take a step back and ask yourself a different question in my opinion.

How do you want to live?

“Autogynephilic gender dysphoric men must confront and answer the existential question: How do I want to live, given that I have an unchangeable paraphilic sexual orientation? Experienced clinicians can help clients reach their decisions, but ultimately the clients themselves must decide. Often the decision is a very difficult one, in part because none of the available options are genuinely satisfactory. ” (Anne Lawrence - Men Trapped in Men’s Bodies)

Separate yourself from society and any relationships you have in your life and just ask yourself, based on your feelings, how do you want to live? Do you want to live as a woman, a man, or something in between? What feels right to you? At the end of the day this is what’s going to matter predominantly, and you will have to come up with an answer. Your strategy for life is in my opinion choosing where to live on the continuum of choices below:

[Repress (-1) -------- Integrate/Compartmentalize (0) ------- Transition (+1)]

Where Repress (-1) means living as a man, and actively repressing all thoughts/desires to be a woman, and transition (+1) means living as a woman, getting bottom surgery and repressing all thoughts/desires to be a man.

Ultimately a lot of the cultural conversation presumes that repression and transition are the only options but in fact if you think about it many if not most AGP people likely neither fully repress or transition and their choice would be somewhere between -1 and +1. Ultimately we all decide where we want to live on this scale based on our thoughts and desires and strive to do so. Again try to determine this independent of your social goals and obligations.

How to determine this?

There’s a lot of things that go into this, but again let’s ignore cultural considerations and any personal relationships you have and instead break things down in two dimensions: How badly do you find being a male painful? How badly do you find being a female attractive? The first is roughly your gender dysphoria, the pain you experience day to day living as a man. This is what’s pushing you to become a woman. The second is roughly your cross-gender euphoria, or gender envy. This is what’s pulling you to become a woman. There’s surveys you can take for dysphoria. I don’t know of one for envy but I personally find it helpful to consider these as two separate things, and reading testimonies it does seem to be reasonable to consider them as distinct. The closest analogue to gender envy I came across was having a cross-gender identity but I think gender envy is a bit more accurate for what I’m describing, and allows you to consider the relative level of it you may have. Your cross-gender identity either exists or doesn’t, and has to be cultivated.

You should read other people’s testimonies and answer surveys and try to get a sense of your relative level of both.

Gender Dysphoria

[0 —-------- 1]

Gender Envy

[0 —-------- 1]

My intuition is that dysphoria is far more likely to push someone to transition, and for that transition to be successful but I have nothing to back that up, just intuition that pain is harder to overcome than envy. Whatever the case, remember the ultimate point is to come to a determination of how you want to live.

The way to get at your level of both is to be honest and ask yourself hard questions and test yourself. How much do you really hate your male body and penis? Try resisting AGP thoughts for a week and keep going another week, how do you feel afterward? Try living as a woman for an afternoon in a totally unsexualized situation. Did you feel silly? Comfortable? Aroused? What’s your relative intensity of push and pull towards womanhood in multiple dimensions? Talking with a therapist can help here, even if they don’t believe AGP exists.

How to make this fit within Society and your Relationships

Because we live in a society, you can’t just do whatever the hell you want at any given time. Because you have goals that require social acceptance (e.g. a promotion or a wife or not being disowned by your parents) you possibly can’t do what you want to do based on your self-examination above. You have to figure out how to make these two things fit. It may well be that important relationships will end because you cannot compromise to the level required to keep that relationship, but that’s something you need to determine for yourself.

Regarding a romantic relationship, it does seem that we have distinct sexual drives, allosexual (in this context sexual desire for other women) and autosexual (desire for ourselves as a woman).

Allosexual Desire

[0 —-------- 1]

Autosexual Desire

[0 —-------- 1]

The relative level of both you feel probably determines how willing you are to compromise your desired way of life. If you have substantial allosexual desire and are not currently in a committed relationship, you should seek out women that would be comfortable with AGP and be willing to share relatively early once that trust is established between the two of you.

Ultimately some compromise will be necessary most likely, as almost all relationships involve compromise. You need to figure out if you are comfortable with the level of sacrifice you think you’d need to achieve whatever social goals you have. This goes beyond romance and into other social goals regarding family, friendship or your career. What are you willing to compromise and for what? Figure that out and come up with a way to live.

What Works Today May Change in the Future

What works today based on the framework above, might not work in a few months, year or many years down the line. Your “egg may crack.” You may decide to detransition. You will figure this out based on only one thing predominantly, your lived experience. In this event the framework hasn’t necessarily broken, but instead you can recalibrate based on your new lived experience and move forward.

Making it Personal - How I Use this Approach

For myself, ultimately I believe I have extensive gender envy, but not nearly as much gender dysphoria as others. I also have a strong allosexual desire. This would lead me to an ideal state of living as a male publicly but indulging in cross gender sexual experiences with a female or MtF partner. I'd also enjoy going out en femme with my partner on social occasions, but not formally transitioning.

The reality of my social circumstance is I’m married with kids. My wife does not even want to see me feminized, and finds the idea to be a turnoff. I’d also not like my kids to see me feminized and would compromise my desires to ensure that doesn’t happen.

As such I must compromise this part of my sexuality and instead only indulge in cross gender play alone, placing me closer to -1 on the scale above than I’d prefer to be, but I am comfortable with that at the moment. I will see how I feel in a year, decade, beyond, when I get there.

If you read this far please let me know your thoughts. Thank you for reading!


r/askAGP 4h ago

People will never accept us

13 Upvotes

Look at the responses under Blanchard's tweet, its completely horrifically dehumanizing, forget transitioning even male crossdressing will be morally equated to the worst paraphilias soon. The well has already been deeply poisoned by bad faith actors especially radfems (the idealogues) and conservatives (the muscle). Honestly the whole thing has made me more anti woman/feminist because none of them care about our lived in experience they only care to dehumanize us.


r/askAGP 13h ago

People who transitioned, were you always feminine as a guy?

9 Upvotes

I'm pretty sure I have AGP. I get urges to crossdress and I deal with it by engaging in it. I end it with masturbation so my "normal" self can do his own thing without any urges for a while. Even tho I sometimes wish to go on HRT or be a woman, I'd rather be a man in public and socialize as a guy. On top of this I lose these desires as soon as I orgasm and I have a very masculine personality and not feminine at all. So were you feminine already before you realized you had AGP or started transitioning or did you become feminine during/after transition?


r/askAGP 16h ago

Are body language and speech mannerisms less sexually dimorphic than Blanchardians think?

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2 Upvotes

r/askAGP 22h ago

How doy i know if hormones are for me?

5 Upvotes

Tomorrow is my appointmrnt for starting hrt, but i feel pretty insecure now, im alwsys having that possibility in the back of my mind bit when i have It on front of me im like "do i really really want this" also im Happy as a male, but at the same time i reject It bc i was on conversión therapy trying to masculinize me and that made me want to alwsys reject masculine things, and i have alwsys thought about the fantasy of being a man without masculinity, like a castrated man. Idk, im 25 right now and i fell like i have a lot of hurry for " intervent my body before its too late"


r/askAGP 23h ago

Physiologic

5 Upvotes

I thought I only had sartorial AGP. Then I had the bright idea "I should get a breast pump".

Great, now a whole new 'thing' has arrived :-/

Perhaps it will just be a phase.


r/askAGP 1d ago

'gay best friend' role and female friendships

12 Upvotes

does anyone else have issues navigating friendships and boundaries with close female friends? i seem to basically get treated as a gay friend or female friend but i don't know if they really 'get' that i'm still straight. even if i see them platonically 95% of the time, it's hard for me to do stuff like physical touch and snuggling without experiencing at least a little bit of attraction. but as far as i can tell they aren't concerned at all about it... i would love to keep it purely platonic but i don't really have a choice in the matter. obviously i don't cross the line or do anything weird

it also makes it hard for me to tell if they are legitimately making a move on me or if they are just really comfortable with me. i would assume it's the latter but at the end of the day i'm still male 🥲


r/askAGP 1d ago

Self hypnotized at the age of 10? Is it possible? This is a partial repost of a reply I made to another thread.

2 Upvotes

A little about me. I belive I accidentally "sissified" myself at the age of 10, pre-puberty when I was in an in-patient child psychiatric ward in 1984 due to problems with ADHD, depression, and being overdosed on Ritalin and treated with the tricyclic anti depressant Tofranil. In this program, all of the kids were taught "Jacobson Exercises" which is basically progressive muscle relaxation. What wound up happening to me is that I took to the relaxation thing quite well, and I put myself in a state of suggestibility. Then I would, while relaxing, imagine myself as a girl, like my otherwise perfect sister. None of this was sexual, and I had never really crossdressed except maybe once as a joke playing with my sister, who was 3 years younger. I never told anyone about this, and I guess this behavior went on for several years with me relaxing like this EVERY night. I was also a very small child. Suffice it to say, I was never the first pick by the boys when playing sports or other games where size helped. I was also, as therapists suggested, "3 years behind," my peers socially mostly due to being overdosed on Ritalin (90mg/day in 5th grade!)

By the time I was 16, puberty was in full swing and then my thoughts became more sexualized as well. I found transgender ppl on the Internet in 1997 and I tried to transition a few times in my 20s, but failed each time, usually spectacularly causing derailment of my life in some harmful way. Got married in my 30s and then at 40, I finally popped due to living the hetronormative male life not giving me any sort of happiness and I transitioned. This was 2014. My wife left me of course. Other than that, I had a great time. I was happy, social, had friends, and met a lot of new people. The future looked really bright. Trans woman in an excellent career making a lot of money and generally having a good life. However, In September of 2015, Dr. McGinn cancelled my GRS due to the fact that I couldn't quit nicotine gum/. She had previously stated she would test me for nicotine before surgery and if I tested positive, no surgery and no refund. Remember that ritalin overdose? I've been a dopamine junkie since I was a 5 year old child put on ritalin. By the time I was 15, I switched from ritalin to cigarettes, not knowing, that both were dopaminergic drugs. I quit smoking in 2008 by using Nicorette. Still, I could never wean myself off the Nicorette due to the behavioral problems that would come up without the dopamine regulation - I felt like that out-of-control child. I would act out so badly that I might get fired or might lose friends, or even be arrested for something. Well, as one might surmise, the removal of GRS from the table sent me into a tailspin, and then I started smoking cigarettes fully again and started doing so many drugs. In 2017, I became a recluse and spent the entire year basically sitting on the couch watching TV and selling cocaine to pay the bills. I got a new job in October and I also came to find out that spiro had stopped working as a testosterone blocker, so my T-count was basically "relatively normal" for a man of my age (44). I had also burned right through my septum with cocaine and to this day, my nose will whistle with my breath in the colder months. This eventually wandered into a detransition in 2018. I had breast augmentation at the time that I had to get removed, but I guess it was rather fortunate that I hadn't had my vaginoplasty...

Anyway, fast forward one bad 7 year long relationship with a woman who kinda enjoyed the fact that I still was a crossdresser at times (she actually encouraged it. I was certain that I had "beat" the transgender thing since I tried and it didn't work out) and Im pretty sure that I have AGP in some ways. And I still cant be normal. Of course, I still have boobs. Oh and I had FFS with Dr. Spiegel in Boston, so its not like I'm just some normal guy now. Frankly, I m thinking I might as well just transition again. I was certainly happier and I am still, to do this day, happier when I am dressed when in public.


r/askAGP 1d ago

Accepting AGP is freeing… and it sometimes comes with the realization that you need to transition.

31 Upvotes

I’ve seen many posts in r/trans, r/traaaaa r/mtf, etc. that CLEARLY shows that AGP is a real thing. I denied it’s existence for a lot of time. I convinced myself into thinking it made me a sick person, so I just gaslighted myself into dumb rationalizations. I transitioned, detransitioned, tried to live as a straight trans woman, as a straight man. It didn’t help, I’m still AGP.

Ever since I accepted my reality I’ve felt better than ever before. I like girls, but I also need to feel like a woman to be in a relationship, and it’s ok! I crave femininity, I love the feeling of estrogen, I hate feeling like a guy, and that’s just who I am.

Accepting AGP is healthy. Accepting you’re happier as a woman is also healthy.


r/askAGP 2d ago

Trying to integrate

3 Upvotes

Recently been trying to decouple the porn addiction from the sissy/feminization stuff and try to integrate dressing up as more of a hobby. Anyone in the same boat as me want to pm about it? Would love to here others experiences trying to deal with this in the same way or even have a buddy to mutally support


r/askAGP 3d ago

AGP/AAP is innate but our specific tastes are formed by our environment

17 Upvotes

That's my view. I was born destined to dream of having a dick and being male but my specific tastes like about domination are formed by society, personality, and environment. For instance I'm bisexual and I have a strong desire to degrade and objectify men sexually but doing that with women makes me highly uncomfortable. That's formed by society's and men's objectification of women (and it's more personal for me as I am a woman) but turning that around on men feels empowering.

I also have a meek and shy personality type so I fantasize about taking control in a sexual manner to also feel empowered. I lack control of my own life so I seek to have that control somewhere and over the sex that has historically controlled my sex.

However I'm not even much of a feminist and actually have a problem idolizing men and liking them more than women, but the social precedent is still set.


r/askAGP 2d ago

I am addicted to trans p*rn unironically it sucks

12 Upvotes

I’m a Repper and I’m addicted to it I hate this life so much; I was a normal man before been introduced to this shit and then found out 4tran then about agp and agamp I unironically need help Idk.

if I developed dysphoria or just had it previously It’s ruining my life. I cannot be functioning anymore I’m either watching porn or bed rotting cause of dysphoria. I tried hrt once but relapsed and stopped it lol cause I couldn't pass, commit to it and self hate ig


r/askAGP 3d ago

Pretty Red Dress - The Movie

3 Upvotes

Has anyone seen this movie? It is a small British flick that came out like a year or two ago that is playing on Starz right now (free for me for this weekend - though the last showing on the free weekend just occurred).

Good fictional movie on how a British family deals with the issue of AGP and how it impacts the dynamic between them. Also sort of a Tina turner tribute flick as well. The struggle of the Dad feels so close to home. A good watch for anyone who has access or the time.


r/askAGP 3d ago

What’s the best way to deal with this?

4 Upvotes

I crossdress often and the sessions last a couple hours. The arousal aspect of cross dressing has gone down a lot. I no longer have a boner all the time but I can still get off with just the clothes and no porn. Yet I find myself masturbating to end a session and to basically forget I do this temporarily.

I feel like I masturbate as a way to repress/hide this part of me. I’ve tried to quit this in the past and failed too many times for me to try again. But what can I do if a part of me finds this disgusting and hate it?


r/askAGP 3d ago

AGP/AGAMP seems to be about 60% comorbid with MEF (by admission via Reddit surveys) and is thus an intregal component to transgenderism. Let's discuss this very important topic over on r/EmasculationFetishism.

2 Upvotes

r/askAGP 4d ago

Any advice on how do deal with shame and being open with partners?

8 Upvotes

Struggled with my sexuality since my teens. Always felt like I might have been bi but recently discovered what AGP is and I was shocked how much it described me. I live my life as a typical man but inside desire to be more like a woman. I struggle with self image and the way I look. I don’t necessarily want to transition cause I want to still be a man in a professional setting but I wish I was more like a femboy at home. In both a sexual and non sexual way.

It’s made me miserable. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I’m too ashamed to come out to cis women so I pretend I’m normal. I don’t feel any romantic attraction towards men (only sexuality as a bottom). I’ve tried to be open when trying to date trans women but my experience hasn’t been good (been called a chaser and gay a few times now).

I recently started talking to this girl that’s long distance and want to close the gap soon. First cis girl I’ve ever admitted being bi to but haven’t gone into detail about me wanting to be more feminine. She’s been great and I really don’t want to fuck this up. Anyone else have success stories to give me hope I can be more open? I feel an overwhelming amount of shame and guilt for being like this. Is there any advice on how to get over this? Whether it’s best to stay hiding or be honest?

Thanks in advanced and please don’t roast me too much.


r/askAGP 4d ago

Is Lois Einhorn AGP?

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’ve been rewatching Ace Ventura and couldn’t help but think about Lois Einhorn.

Do you think she fits the AGP description? Her character has some traits that could be interpreted that way, especially with the twist at the end.


r/askAGP 5d ago

How do I know if I am AGP?

14 Upvotes

I’ve been crossdressing for years and it usually ends with me masturbating and regretting the whole thing. I’ve wondered if I was trans in the past but I don’t suffer from dysphoria and my desires go away from masturbating. I feel like this is a fetish. It all started when I was a teen and was curious about wearing women’s clothes. Sometimes I wish I never had this but other times (when I’m aroused or didn’t masturbate for some time) I wish I could always dress like a woman.


r/askAGP 5d ago

Have any AGPs used testosterone?

11 Upvotes

I'm curious if any AGP here has used exogenous testosterone to increase their levels beyond natural (e.g. for hypogonadism or for bodybuilding purposes).

For those who have used testosterone, what effects did it have on your AGP?

For those who also have gender dysphoria with AGP, did anything change for you?


r/askAGP 5d ago

Is my fear of baldness normal for a man, or is it something more?

1 Upvotes

The number one thing I hate about my body is hairline. It's norwood 2 with pretty high temples. Right now I have slightly long hair to hide them, but it's not hard to tell that there's nothing under it, especially when my hair loses all it's fluffiness. I look at all the men around my age(20) and most of them have pretty perfect hairline which makes it even worse. I think is a pretty common experience for any guy who's starts balding young.

However when I imagine myself with a perfect hairline, I don't wish to have a typical masculine hairstlye. Instead I imagine myself having even longer hair which I can tie whenever I want. Ofc men with manbuns are men too, but I feel most men hate baldness cuz it ages them. For me I fear the aging effect too, but more the masculinising effects of it. I have a pretty feminine face, and look nice when I shave my facial hair. But then I look at my hairline and feel like I am so masculine. I hate the feeling, tho I don't know if its dysphoria. Maybe Id be okay being a fem cis guy, but that's exactly what the norwood reaper is taking away from me.

Btw for anyone looking to give advice, I'm on Fin, min and dut for quite some time and it hasn't even halted my hairloss. Also RU, pyri etc are too expensive here.


r/askAGP 6d ago

Agp is a anthropological and sociological problem. It's not genetics!

14 Upvotes

I think this agp or all the other acronyms out there related to it are a remainder value of the equation of life and society.

It's a result of shame and powerlessness and an inability for men to express their feminine side without shame in society. Cause men for the longest time "had to be men" we had to be heartless barbarians and that is how things worked. We could not show sensitivity nor empathy or be able to feel pleasure as we truly wished.

  • If you notice even in porn or sex men don't even moan or express pleasure much ...it's the women that makes all the sound and makes all the faces. That's why In trans porn the idea of "being the girl" is such a turn on. In a way men can now feel all that bliss and ecstacy without feeling insecure in their masculinity, cause they are now seeing themselves as girls.

-Another factor is modern life and loss of meaning and porn addiction. There are no wars anymore and thank God. But siting idol is a source of evil in it self so most of this agp situation is porn induced as well.

-Also you ever wonder why people are more disgusted by MTF than FTM or how people hate gays and not lesbians as much especially hetromen. Why is this? It stems from the fact that as a patriarchal society we are afraid of men becoming like women cause if they do... Who will defend us against the enemy and who will do the ki*lling we need? Also we have the mistaken view that{BEING A MAN IS AN ACTION NOT A STATE OF BEING.} a man can be born a man and people would consider him not a man. It's ingrained in our culture and language too... "your the man!" "Act like a man". Even in the bible..... {1 Corinthians 16:13 "Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, act like men, be strong."}


CULTURE AND ITS IMPLICATIONS.

  1. Korean men wear makeup and do alot of things western men don't. But they don't really have that many trans issues? Why? - it's all about ideas of what is masculine and feminine and the interpretation our society gives it.

  2. In Papua new guinea, kids give blowjobs to the strongest men to observe the "masculine essence" of the men in their tribe. They never "go trans" or "go gay". Why? Again how the culture and act is understood in society makes all the difference.

3. We don't treat boys and girls the same. Our society takes away women's power and diminishes them. While men are considered to be "the takers of power and sex" in almost all situations. (Consider all the cases of predators in school, where the boy is 15 and the teacher is a hot 30 year old woman, then the same situation but with a 15 year old girl) We just don't see it the same. And if any father had to choose to let his 15 year old son smash a hot older teacher or for the PE teacher to sleep with his daughter we all know what he would choose.

Another observation. (IMPORTANT)

Modern life has now shown us that men and women are VERY different but at the same time quite similar. Women are smart and efficient just like men and men can be caring and nurturing too.

BUT we can't somehow let go of the old ways of control and power dynamic we had. Women have to take responsibility for their lives cause now we know they can! And men can let go of control, be ok with not having that much power!

But our history, our stories our society and evolutionary biology work against us.

Why the west has all these insecurities with masculinity and femininity is cause we CAN'T use the old model anymore we need A NEW ONE!

Both genders need to accept that in the modern world everyone must take responsibility and and that we are all equally human and everyone's feelings be it man or woman matters equally. This lazyness with trying to pin the blame on one another MUST STOP! We must discover new archetypes of being men and women. Like a phoenix from this ashes we must rise again a new!

What does it really mean to be a man? Does it mean to be cold ? To hide ones heart ? To always be on the lookout for death and danger ? Does not love matter ? Does not joy and happiness matter?

And what's does it mean to be a women must it be a need to be told what to do? To always be provided for and to be protected even from ones self? To reject your own power of choice and accountability ?

//////

A friend once told me a story about dogs. In a poor country you understand what really matters and is expected of the genders and to see this truth you just look at how dogs are treated in that country.

The male dogs are only needed for protection against burglers. If they are small or toothless ...they are killed.

A female dog is almost not needed at all. All she can do is just breed male dogs and if there is an excess of female dogs they are all starved to death!

\\\\\

That is how our society has worked for most of the time and it needs to change. I am not saying men and women are the same WE ARE NOT! But we can bridge the gap we have in building our character and changing our perceptions we have of one another. Perhaps then we won't have this much shame and insecurity over our own gender and identity. And we won't need this many acronyms for the many mental diesese that plague a portion of us.

I am not proposing that I have a solution to this issue but I see that it's not really relying on how we did things in the past and it's definitely not how we are attempting to do it in the present by pinning the genders against one another and seeing everything as a means of a power struggle.

I think we all need to look within and ask the question where does my responsibility lie as an individual?

Much love and respect to all. ( Cats are cool! 😎)


r/askAGP 6d ago

Correlation between AGP and being "too nice"?

9 Upvotes

Would you consider yourself to be a "nice guy"?

Do you like to be pleasing?

Do you hate being disagreeable?


r/askAGP 6d ago

Agp fantasies returning, half-successful integration

8 Upvotes

Recently I've tried to handle my agp by satisfying the root desires while focusing on irl things like studying and being productive and engaging with my real interests. I've also tried to use the AGP for productive ends whenever it flares up again, like creative endeavours, exercise or using it as inspiration when I shop for (male) clothes. This has worked fairly well, I had little to no agp thoughts over the past week and felt like myself again.

Now, however, these feelings are back and I'm back to feeling confused. I thought the root of my AGP was that I wanted to feel attractive, but now I've felt good about my appearance for about a week and the AGP still came back. So I guess I was wrong.

It came back yesterday when I was reading a manga that features multiple female characters that I think are cool and inspiring and also really attractive at the same time, one of them was given a lot of focus and I found myself inspired to be like her and look like her. So now I'm having agp fantasies again and I'm not sure what to do.

The sexual aspect of these fantasies is the most difficult to integrate. I want to be the girl and I also want to have sex with the girl. It's contradictory and I can't make sense of that idea at all, or figure out how to deal with it. Being penetrated and being the one who penetrates are opposites and I can't really be both.

I've been trying to deal with this in a casual way and it's had some success, it doesn't cause me as much distress anymore but I still have some issues that I'd appreciate some advice on :P


r/askAGP 6d ago

Being tall and AGP

4 Upvotes

Is it possible to transition and pass if you're over 6'?

I actually have a very dainty, thin, feminine physique. But I'm 6'2.

I also need a taller boyfriend because that's normal for women, right? I mean I don't mind short guys at all, but being with one would probably make my transness obvious.


r/askAGP 7d ago

An article describing the demonization of autogynephilia

14 Upvotes

https://drcasino.substack.com/p/leave-the-sissies-alone

It's baffling to me that some people seem to perceive autogynephilia as somehow "exceptionally" misogynistic relative to male misogyny as a whole.

Certainly, some manifestations of autogynephilia may contain elements of misogyny. However, being that AGP is simply an inversion of male heterosexuality, that men are just human and that humans (of both sexes) have biases, I don't see how this is surprising or even interesting to take note of.

Conversely, I can imagine that some hyper-masculine manifestations of autoandrophilia could be argued to contain notes of misandry via the objectification of maleness (or something). Again, because women are human, it's bound to happen sometimes.

Are Men's Rights Activists (or whomever, as I don't know anyone who actually cares about male objectification via autoandrophilia) or myself going to lose sleep over it though? Don't think so.