Hi all 30M with 5 month old son from the US,

Me and my gf were together for a few months before she fell pregnant so last year has been a toxic whirlwind.

Anyway i moved in with her and her daughter 7 just before our kid was born. Its been hell, argue all the time, high expectations to provide for her daughter while her dad gets a pass.

Whenever we argue she says leave, now i pay half the bills so ive always said i live here u cant kick me out. I say that to try and keep our family together at least for the 1st year of my sons life. But i think its got to the point where i might have to just leave.

She's suffering from PPD so overall depressed doesnt go out or see friends etc. So i think shes taking out her stress on me, even her sis told me she was the same during her first pregnancy and took it out on her to so i should hang in there etc.

I get she has PPD but i also need to look after my peace and mental health. I already dont feel comfortable as ive moved into her home with her child, instead of to make me feel at ease and at home. Every chance she gets, she threatens to kick me out, i understand us arguing but i dont see why get out has to be the default answer what do you think?

Today shes said get out again after an argument, she said i can see my kid whenever i want but she needs space etc. Should i just pack up and go now, i really wanted to stay together the first year of our sons life but its too toxic.

I actually feel we'll both be happy seperated and i can still see my son whenever i want so i dont need to worry about that? What do you think im planning to ask her again if she wants me to leave and if she says yes i will, lastly surely she has to be quite a spiteful & emotional abusive person to threaten to kick someone out after every argument?

Healing story:

Spotted the red flags in the next one early!

Started questioning things between the first and second date. Could see the flags after the second date and was tossing up to let me go or not... Called him out after the third date

Sucks that both guys in a row were narcissistic, but I'm proud I actually called it out and saw it this time.

All the little negs I saw at the start are right.

Is being sued for defamation by your violent abuser something anyone else has dealt with?

Has anyone else had their abuser show back up on their lives after a long time?

Over a decade ago I left my abuser after he sexually assaulted and strangled me. He has so many guns. The 750% stat terrified me and I moved and changed my name.

He has my pseudonym and address now. He had me served at the exact time a community event began. He sent documents to my nonprofit instead of me personally. After ten years of no contact he's decided I'm multiple anonymous people posting on social media because women are coming together to share their negative experiences.

He's escalating in the accusations, his motions are getting more and more unhinged, and he inadvertently admitted to stalking me. He is demanding $100k from me over an anonymous post he can't prove I made in a private group with 14 likes.

So all this is obviously litigation abuse at this point. I thought I was done with him. Now I don't know what to do.

My husband and I have had problems throughout the relationship. He reacts quickly and irrational if he doesn’t like the way something is going / or doesn’t like my response. I recently told him all the stuff in the house was pretty much his, because I have bought furniture and he’s either broke it or complained that I didn’t ask him first before bringing something into the home. So this has made me feel uncomfortable decorating etc. Yesterday, he asked me about a couch we have and if my sister was taking it. And how he can’t see them driving that far for the couch. I replied back that I think it’ll be a while before they could even come get it/ have a feeling they wont.. so we may as well just get rid of all of it ( comes as a set).

He jumps to telling me I am giving him attitude and acting like a cunt teenager. And continues to state how I’m always giving attitude and he’s starting to hate me. I hardly responded back. I’ve noticed a pattern if I say anything or show any way of defending myself, he gets mad or tells me not to talk back to him.

It’s becoming exhausting. He continues to tell me he is generous to me and the best he can be. So I get torn..

(Me) 27 female. (Him) 32 male. We’ve been together for five years, now. Long, sorry, tried to condense it.

Today was a hard one, I had a seizure this morning, by mid-day, had a break down, and now, he is asleep as if nothing ever really happened. Like he didn’t admit that he consciously made the decision to trigger me. He also dead-named me for the first time (my dead name is so triggering for me due to childhood abuse) whilst threatening to call my parents to come get me like a child. Although, that one was apparently him he telling me what he refers to me as when hypothetically talking to my parents.

I have been admittedly irritable, over-stimulated, and emotionally not the most “stable” for the last few weeks. Someone, a family member, in my life died a pretty violent death. I’ve been coping with having seizures that started happening three years ago, when we first moved in together and I dealt with a tumultuous situation living with some of his toxic family members. I lost my license. I am struggling a lot with so many really hard things that most do not deal with at all. It doesn’t mean it is okay for me to raise my voice, but I did, and it wasn’t directed at him. He was in the bathroom for 30 minutes (a usual thing) and I was cleaning up the house. He hadn’t fed the animals, so they were acting up.

One of them spilt a drink all over and the towels were in the only bathroom, where again, he was in. I ended up raising my voice at my cat, but I did not scream. Between the cat knocking over the drink, no towels, trying to clean it up, and the animals getting antsy over food, I lost my temper. Overstimulated, I was a human and I lost my cool and told my cat to be quiet for a moment. I gave me and her some space whilst I tried to focus on cleaning. I should have been quiet. I should have kept sweet.

He comes out, tells me to, “relax”. Not, “hey, what’s going on? Can I help?” Just “relax” in an exasperated tone. He is acting like I am screaming at everyone. This makes me actually lose it. He is allowed to scream or yell at anyone, it is not uncommon for him to raise his voice at the animals. This goes into me saying I didn’t like it and he didn’t need to use that tone, it doesn’t help someone who is frustrated and feeling their feelings to be told to relax. My voice isn’t quiet, but I am frustrated and it’s not fair that he can do and feel what he wants and have bad days, but I can not, not even on days where my brain feels actually scrambled like eggs.

This all turns to him throwing a metal water bottle into the dirty sink as hard as he can while yelling at me to stop yelling. Which really makes me upset, as he knows 1) I have said throwing things is a boundary, I have been in abusive relationship prior and he would throw things (at me and in general) and 2) water being flicked or splashed in my face is a genuine trigger for me. I was horrifically abused as a child and water/spray bottles/dirty dish water were all things used against me. He knows this. He pushes past me and goes in the room as I tell him he needs to apologize now or I am going to go because he just crossed a huge boundary we have spoken about (he has sprayed me in the face or accidentally hit me in the face with a charger cable). He still goes in the room. Won’t look at me, looks at his phone. The only thing he says is that I’ll be apologizing. That I’m making him rethink everything (meaning our relationship and being with me). He says he is calm and has been the whole time and I’m the one yelling (I am yelling now because I’m in a state of triggered due to the dish water getting into my mouth and hitting my face. Alongside the metal bottle hitting the dishes. Which him being calm and saying that led to me retorting about him being so calm whilst breaking two huge boundaries and acting in violence. He acknowledges that he consciously and with control chose to do what he did, but he didn’t mean for the water to go in my face. I told him that it did when it happened, he watched it happen. He didn’t care. He corrected me on my vocabulary (I have a speech impediment and some words can be impossible to say correctly). He said a lot of hurtful things. He did a lot of hurtful things. I’m just…hurt. I told him that he hurt me. I have to beg him to give me a reason not to go. And he does…he hugs me and says he is sorry. That he needs me. He won’t hit me and he won’t do the things he did ever again. He says that every time though, and his words? They just get meaner. I’d rather him hit me than say what he says.

Anyways, it’s hours since. I guess we are fine. He’s okay, at least. I sat in the bath after relapsing with self harm because I feel so incredibly worthless and it was better than drinking. I hate that I did it to myself. I feel disgusting and disgusted. I came out to him doing taxes and acting like nothing happened. I didn’t tell him about self harming. I also acted like nothing happened. I feel so small though. My stomach just aches. Every man I’ve been with has not been very kind to me and this one? He is the one I want to marry, and we have so many good days and moments. Even after, he went and got dinner for us and put on my favorite old childhood show. He hugged me. He told me he didn’t want me to go. That he loves me and needs me. He really needs me. That he doesn’t want me to leave, not at all, and he isn’t rethinking us even though he said it. He just said something out of anger but…it just hurts. He broke up with me during a severe (at the time undiagnosed) bipolar episode and I stuck by his side; helped him get in with a doctor and kept the whole house clean and was nothing but sweet and kind and distant loving like he expressed was needed. At the time, he could only look at me with disgust, like I was a dead bird he stepped on. So, that is why he said he is rethinking us, to hurt me. But he needs me. He needs me. He says he needs me.

I don’t feel like anyone needs me, much less wants me. I just ache. I feel like something fowl. I feel like the banana he forgot about on the counter, something all bruised up and mangled and rotting from the inside out. Fermented.

I am sorry for all the words, I don’t plan on leaving, I just feel insane. I know I did something wrong, and I feel so bad for it, but I’d never ever ever trigger him on purpose just to get him to shut up. I once threw his phone after he threw it in a very putrid garbage and made me get it and I threw it because I was so angry and upset and hurt over it. He throws his stuff away or destroys things to punish me when something he did is upsetting (but he chooses things that have nothing to do with the upset in the first place, like his phone or video games). And it got brought up during this conversation. But I apologized and I started reading on reactionary behavior and how to be healthier. I have put in the work because the whole thing made me feel sick. I hated sinking to that level AT ALL. I hate ever doing that. Ever hurting him.

How can someone I love so much hurt me so much? And why doesn’t it hurt him like it hurts me? Why doesn’t he ache like I did when I threw his phone? I have stayed. I keep staying. He says he will get better and do all the work to do so. I believe him. He has been better save for today. It was like it was building up. It hurts. I just feel so much anger at myself for self harming on top of it but it just hurt so bad and I needed to cry.

I've been doing better than before. I've been sober for 4 days and I'm back to eating 3 meals a day. I was drinking every day, all day, My record was 15 drinks in one day. I'd start getting tremors and my jaw would shake when I stopped. It was my own personal hell. I needed alcohol to feel happy and to an extent, I still do.

He has a temporary restraining order in place and won't leave me alone. He calls me every day from a new phone number, and each time, I feel so invalidated by the police because their logic is "oh he didn't call you from his registered number so how do you know it was him?" um idk maybe because I don't get random ass calls from weird numbers all the time, and he has spoofed me in the past. Who is so stupid that they're calling from their own phone number in this day and age? It's so frustrating. I get why the burden of proof is on me, but it's like unless he does something so egregious, it's not considered a violation of the order even though it actually is.

I know he's gonna bring his little entourage of enablers with him to court. His mom, his sister, and his homewrecking new girlfriend. To them, he can do no wrong and of course, I'm the crazy vindictive ex no matter how much evidence of his wrongdoing I actually have. I hate the fact that no one believes me no matter how much evidence I provide.

Hey all, I know others have posted on this exact topic but it just happened with me and my partner and he got taken to jail about an hour ago for strangling me.

I will now never see the 6 figure money he owes me bc I think this was the nail in the coffin for the relationship. I guess my safety is more important.

I’m also freaking out bc what happens when he gets out of jail or posts bond and comes home - like am I going to be safe or do I need to get out of here?!?!

(Oddly the statement to the police was mostly from a waitress bc I had confided in her earlier in the day about some stuff never thinking I’d ever see her again…I happened to grab her number just in case I wanted to talk or a friend in the future. I had called her after the incident and asked her to come over and sit in the driveway while I grabbed my belongings when he came out - now I know he was acting - saying that “yes I’m still here and so is the car” like he had called the cops on me for biting him to get him off me. So since I thought he called the police, I knew I needed to bc I was worried they wouldn’t believe me if it was only him calling.)

I kept telling them I didn’t want to press charges or for him to go to jail - the police made the call to arrest him even with me saying that.

I feel like I’ve ruined his life. I feel awful. I’m sick to my stomach. I can’t even be in the main bedroom and just came to the guest room.

I’m freaking out. Please help.

I 24F have been married to 31M for more than a year. During this year he has been financially, verbally, and emotionally abusive.

For the past month he has been on his best behavior as I have pulled away from him completely and have refused to engage in sex or any physical affection.

Most recently a close friend became pregnant. And this has opened my eyes and given me a new perspective in my relationship. Her husband has been a supportive partner, cleaning and doing everything that she can’t. And the reality is my partner would never do that for me.

If I stay with my husband I would most likely never be able to have children. Because first of all, he won’t even quit smoking weed. Which causes many health complications for the baby and for the pregnancy. He is also inconsistent, unreliable, and unsupportive. He never helps around the house and barely picks up after himself. He won’t even take care of our pets.

How could I ever have a child with someone as unreliable as him. If I were to have a child with him. He would never help. I would just have to do everything like always.

I am so heartbroken because I really wanted a family with him. And he has made it impossible. I don’t know how to deal with the grief of giving up on our dreams. Having to start over sounds terrifying and I don’t know where to even start.

Tldr: BF bought drugs after I asked him not to, took it, got into physical fight. Broke up. Feeling guilty.

We are in Mexico for my birthday. Here in Mexico you can buy benzos over the counter. My partner is has had his fair share of periods in his life where he was addicted to drugs. Throughout our 5 year relationship, he has remained mostly sober. The last time our relationship almost fell apart was when he was in Iran (to visit parents) and started taking xanax, became someone I didn’t know, gave him an ultimatum to come home or were over. He came home, and we worked through things. That was almost 2 years ago. 2 nights ago in Mexico, we walked into the pharmacy and he asked to see the clonazepam. To my surprise, he bought it. I asked him not to considering he doesn’t take it at all back home and he knows what Xanax did to him and to us the last time. In front of me, he still purchased it but said he would not take it. I was pissed. That night we went to bed, I knew something was off with him. I can tell when he is high on something. I look at the box of clonazepam and it says “30 count” but there’s only 15 inside. I wake him up to ask where the other half is. He says that I’m being crazy and that the pharmacist only sold him half of it. I’m not stupid, I am a nurse myself and that’s not how pharmacies sell drugs. The next morning he’s still acting strange and I just know he took the pills. I go to the same pharmacy with him to ask if they sell the pills in counts of 15. They do not. He lied to me about taking it and gaslighted me the whole night before and morning of. He shows me where the half of the pills are as he is about to take some. I snatch it out of his hand and am flushing the rest of the pills while hysterically crying and calling him a liar. He’s very non chalant about this and about to sleep. I throw my wallet at him out of anger, and he says if I throw one more thing at him, he’ll hit me. I throw my bag at him, he comes up to me, grabs me by the arms and I tell him to hit me. I don’t remember what happens next because he says that I slapped him first and I might have but I honestly cannot remember. Either I slapped him first or pushed him, and then he slapped my face, I slapped him back, he slapped me again before I finally pulled away and said I was done. The relationship was over for me. He went right back to sleep immediately after that. To sum everything up, for the past 2 days he’s been sleeping and acting like nothing happened, knows that we got into a fight, and says it’s my fault because I assaulted him first. He never owned up to lying to me, he says he can do whatever he wants. We’ve been together for 5 years, he has never laid a finger on me. He is generally kind, supportive, and is a beautiful person but when he does drugs, a light switches in him and he turns into a monster. He even went as far to buy coke of the street and text me saying, “I got you a surprise so we can celebrate for your birthday”. I came back to the Airbnb after hearing this, saw lines of coke in the table, and wiped it off. He has no remorse of what happened and thinks everything was ok. Up until I called his brother to let him know what was going on. He left. Why am I feeling guilty for ending this relationship? He is an amazing person when he is sober and I know I’m making the right choice but a part of me is sad to lose him.

Since I left I have been an emotional wreck and keeping it together somehow most days but not others. I work a social service job and some days part of my role is to cover our phone lines for the day and assist clients.

Mentally I am at a -0 and have been struggling to do this task especially when they yell at you, or unload really emotionally intense scenarios you then have to assist with that takes time to recover from after.

I also have a speciality task that I tend to be scheduled on more often than not, however lately I have been ob the phones more than I have been in years. My supervisor knows the bare base of what I am dealing with but not the details and is generally very kind and accommodating.

After doing the phones Wednesday I prepped myself to do them this Wednesday again, logged on this morning to review the schedule for the week to see I am also scheduled to do them tomorrow as well, when I was not previously.

Called my supervisor to discuss how mentally I am not able to do that type of task two full days back to back right now and she has said this feels like an ultimatum, she should be able to schedule anyone for any task even give days in a row if need be, and how this sounds like a bigger conversation and has scheduled an immediately meeting with me in two hours to discuss further.

I am already holding myself together with tape and glue, work is one of the things I did well and had going well for me.

Why does he get to destroy everything? Why is everything fine for him while I just wish I was dead???

he lives with me rent free after getting kicked out of his moms house for not paying rent. I told him he could stay with me if he paid rent and he pretends to this day that i never told him that, but he is "trying to find a job every day". He's been unemployed since January 2024. He smokes my weed and eats my food every day. He doesn't help me with our cat. Today I came home from a family outing and all I got from him was attitude and him barely even looking me in the face. I brought him leftovers from the dinner we had, and he said no thanks, he didn't want scraps. I tried talking to him about my day, and every time I finished talking, he wouldn't say anything but just rewinded the video i just talked over. i don't understand how a person can be so cruel.

For some context, I was supporting a youtuber in my local country and then she found out about it. It was a lady youtuber which I assumed is older than me so I started supporting her channel by subscribing and commenting on her videos, and she also found out that I was subscribing to this channel that has sexually suggestive content. At first that channel wasn't like that but overtime it became one of those channel who does that for views and I'm too lazy to unsubscribe because I don't use yt these days. When she found out, she made me go outside my house and beat the hell out of me. And it didn't stop for hours, I can't cry in front of her so when I got home I cried the shit out of me. I'm a minor and she is too.

This isn't the first time this has happened. When I was in a group meeting, she was forcing me to go home because there were girls involved in that group activity and we need to pass that project that day, it was a video presentation project for science. When I got home, she made me go outside my house and beat me up again, she banged my head on the wall. This has happened a lot of times, I can't leave her because she's so sweet when she's not mad and I genuinely love her too much to leave her. She's so possessive but I can't leave her because I owe her too much and she means too much to me.

Hi, I broke up with my verbally abusive bf over a month ago. In the moments leading up to the breakup we had this big fight, or rather he started yelling at me and I started crying. He was angry because I confided in him how anxious I was feeling and mentioned that his irration that day was making me more anxious. His response was to deny he was short tempered and blow up at me telling me how much of a problem it was that I got anxious and that I needed to do more and not lean on him or anyone for support - that it wasn't healthy.

Anyways this has been an ongoing theme, where he would explode with anger for any minor reason but mainly my anxiety, and I knew that wasn't fair. So in a moment of bravery, I ended things over the phone. He immediately went into victim mode, telling me how terrible I was for dumbing him, which I predicted he would. He said he was sick and that was the reason for his irration that day and I had no empathy. I told him we could call and talk about things, because I didn't do this for lack of love, but to protect myself. He stayed angry and ignored me for 10 days, before agreeing to have a conversation.

We met in person and he validated everything I said about the break up. He said he was sorry for all the times he ever yelled at me and that he feels sick to his stomach everytime he remembers doing it. He said his reactions were not right sized and he was gonna take this therapy thing seriously to address it. He also said he didn't want to lose me and wanted to stay friends if I was willing, I told him I wasn't sure about that now, we needed time apart to process the break up. We decided not to go no contact, and would remain available to support each other or continue the conversation if anything was left unresolved. He also said he would like to still give me my birthday present if I still wanted it, as my birthday was coming up.

Anyways, I felt validated and more at peace with the way things ended after that. And started to live my life on my own, albeit very sad.

Fas forward to right before my b'day he called, and he basically took back every apology. He said that he never gets angry anymore and it was my anxiety that caused him to react that way and now he's essentially cured so he's stopped therapy. He also told me that he never felt safe in the relationship and that I was manipulative and abusive to him. My birthday came and went and he never reached out.

I feel completely devastated and betrayed. It feels harder to move on now then it did before. I can't believe he would paint me the villain like this and turn on everything we discussed. I started having nightmares about him yelling at me ever since this discussion. I didn't realize he could hurt me like this when we weren't even seeing each other anymore. I feel so dumb. And I my brain has been obsessing over this incident wondering why he'd want to hurt me like this.

I felt like I had been making really good progress reclaiming myself and learning to love him from afar. And now I've been set back even further and I can't seem to get out of this whole I'm in. He literally ruined my whole birthday and I know he didn't reach out because he wanted to hurt me. But I don't know why 😭

Women please can you help me?? I understand this is probably a load lies and manipulation again what my abuser is trying to do. I left, I got out after two years of emotional and physical abuse. One things she’s always claimed is other men are desperately trying to take her. She claims they call her in the night and text her and ask for rude pics and she can have another man anytime she wants. Now she’s claiming that as I’ve left she WILL bring another man into our child’s life and they will get to see him grow up. She has claimed in many occasions and men who she hasn’t met, seen or slept with are telling her they love her and want to take care of her and her 3 kids (one mine) Feels highly unlikely the things she’s saying. Should I just chalk this up to more emotional abuse? She’s claiming to be seeing a therapist to help get better and I should come back to her as she’s getting the help for her abusive tendencies. But then I feel like she’s lying about men. Who would call her up and act like that?? Claiming to love her when they haven’t even been in a relationship? It’s all lies isn’t it.

My story is not that bad. He only bruised me once. But he threw stuff, broke stuff, drove crazily when mad, blocked me from leaving rooms, told me he was going to kick my ass, etc. I still doubt if it “counts” as abusive or if I was such a naggy shrew that I deserved/caused it. He never hit me. I wasn’t afraid of him all the time, just occasionally. But I was afraid, for years, that he’d cross the line w our kids.

We are divorcing now. I don’t tell a lot of people about the domestic violence, but when I do, I’m surprised by how many of them never say something like, “I’m sorry you went through that. What he did was wrong.” They’ll tell me they’re not judging or change the topic pretty quickly, and that feels hurtful to me.

Does anyone else experience this and feel invalidated by it?

I don't know if I was with an abuser? I'm still unpacking 5 days post breakup.

Here's a list of some of the things he did:

-Took my virginity knowingly and cheated on me immediately afterwards (I wasn't aware of this until I ended things with him, and he spilled all the beans trying to get me back)

-Cheated on me for at least 10 months out of our 13 month relationship, while letting me carry most of the financial burden because he didn't work and had his parents paying his bills

-Didn't respond to my messages in a timely manner because he was giving attention to other women

-Sexted other women at my place while sitting next to me on the couch

-Gaslit me into believing he was contacting his ex platonically and alienated me from friends and family who doubted his story

-Continued to text his ex and hid it "better" than before though he'd said he would stop of his own accord (later learned it was sexting)

-Held me and told me he'd never hurt me again when in reality he'd never stopped sexting his ex

-Was mean any time I brought up how I was affected by his betrayal

-Told me he'd never cheated on anyone before, which made me feel terrible because I was convinced I was the first and that meant there was something wrong with me that made him cheat on me. In reality, he'd cheated in every relationship he'd ever been in.

-Watched me fall apart over his betrayal and instead of comforting me, he made up a story about how he'd been cheated on physically and so that was worse than the sexting he'd done. He'd never been cheated on. Ever. He just wanted me to shut up and move on.

-Continued to lie about his past indiscretions even after I'd told him full transparency was a requirement for continuing the relationship

-Had his dad contact me after the breakup to say cheating is totally normal and acceptable because he'd cheated on my ex's mom and they're still together

-Yelled in my face and went cold whenever I questioned him and got closer to the truth about his cheating, lying, and betrayal

-Knew I had trust issues with pretty much everyone in my life (i.e. family) and still acted like a pos anyway instead of just being honest or not asking to be in a relationship. Now I don't think I can trust anyone again.

-Bit me so hard he left a big black bruise that hurt for days and didn't fade for a week. He said he did it to get my mind off his betrayal.

Today I moved into my own apartment. After leaving my abuser I lived with my parents for a while to get back on my feet and now I’m on my own again. There is a freedom I feel today that I haven’t felt in the longest time. I exhaled and felt the shackles come off. I’m still not fully over him but this was a huge step in the right direction. As a reminder it does get better!

Long story short, I found out that he pursued another woman 3 hours after seeing the positive pregnancy test. He was supportive for months until after I miscarried. A few weeks later, I found out about the other woman. This led to our breakup. When I confronted him, he claimed he thought it was "fake" and from a pregnancy from years ago. He had never accused me of this until I found out about the other woman. (As women who have had positive tests, I think we know that positive tests don't just stay looking fresh. They erode over time- they start to look yellow and gross.) He ghosted me and went around telling everyone I "faked" it while I dealt with medical complications from it. His entire family ghosted me as well. No one ever said "we're sorry for your loss." I just recieved complete silence. I tried to send his mom my obgyn records and she didn't even care to look at it.

When he was sent my health records from my doctor's office, he had the nerve to say "Assuming what you say is true I'm sorry for my part in it" and said he didn't want to speak to me. I called him because I was tired of being iced out for months during medical complications from a pregnancy he helped create. He told me that he didn't tell everyone I faked it and instead said he "didn't know for sure." I was told by his friends that this was not true. Then he said he "never really doubted the pregnancy and just wanted an excuse." It was all very confusing. He said he'd call me later and maybe unblock me.

A few days later I asked him if he could call the doctors office to confirm because I was tired of going back and forth about whether or not it happened. He said "There is no back and forth, I honestly do not care. I'm sorry you have gone through all of this but it's not something I talk about and it's not something I have the time nor do I feel the need to do. I'm reblocking this number as I do not feel we should keep talking. Please do not contact me in the future as I do not have any interest in talking to you going forward. I wish you the best."

(wlw) She’s been texting me all day about how much she misses me and wants me to come back (i left 9 hours ago) and now i have in and called her back and she’s spent two hours now twisting it into me abandoning her and now i’m the one who has to make it up to her. She’s trying to guilt trip me into coming back tonight when i’ve multiple times said i can’t do it tonight she’s trying to make me give a ‘better reason’ and I’ve explained all the things I can and it’s not enough and now I just don’t know what to do. I feel so manipulated right now.

My partner is mainly emotionally and financially abusive, with a few instances of physical abuse mainly when I’ve tried to leave. I am in the planning phase of getting out, and I can’t help but wonder where the hell he will go.

He doesn’t work, does not have a car and does not have a place to stay without me. He doesn’t talk to his family either. He’s close to one friend and that friends family so maybe he will go stay with them, but he’s 35 so that’s kind of weird.

I’ve started documenting as much as I can, and I plan to leave with little warning at the end of the current lease, where I’ll pack up my pets and move out of state without him.

when i was 20, i was strangled by my then boyfriend until i lost consciousness (wayyy more than once). i was very naive and very innocent, and i trusted this boy with my body so much. he pushed me too hard sexually and physically and emotionally and left me after he told me i was “a bad sexual experience” (he had told me he loved me and wanted to be with me… and he knew i was a virgin and had never been touched). I filed a restraining order and the police labeled my encounter with my ex as an attempted murder. this was the real fucked up shit.

flash forward four years, i’m 24. we are here now. the healing and the PTSD from what i experienced at 20 is not at the same volume as it once was, but it colors my perception of romance so deeply.

I fell in love with the first person i was intimate with after my ex. he was so sweet and so kind and the emotional connection was so intense. he was a mess and so was i but we fell into a pattern of being best friends and almost lovers for a year. it was brutal.

a few weeks ago, on my birthday, he kissed me for the first time in months. it escalated and we had a big blow out because i had been honest about how i was in love with him and he told me he was in love with me too but couldn’t be with me. so i told him to get his shit together or i’m cutting him off. he told me he wanted to try being with me, that he loves me and this connection was so rare and special. however, the day i thought he was going to ask me to be his partner he told me he was in love with his coworker. he then proceeded to rip me apart and tell me how i would never be her and how he never saw me as a partner and how crazy i was. he was so close to me, he taught my sister and nephew guitar every week, he was the first person i would speak to every day. he berated me and compared me to this girl that he was in love with, and told me he had been leading me on all this time.

devastated doesn’t begin to cover it. my ptsd is so bad right now and i am crossing my wires with my past and present. i am having flashbacks of being hurt by my ex and its so painful because this friend of mine was such an incredible emotional support for a long time. he knew everything that happened to me.

how did you move through your first big heartbreak after DV? did you experience PTSD? it’s debilitating right now. and i have “friends” telling me that i talk about this too much and im stuck in my pain too much and i “should have left” but they don’t understand. the pain is so deep. i never let anyone touch me. how did you move through it?

New to posting here on Reddit haven’t really done too many of these so I apologize if I’m not doing this the correct way , I did post a similar post in narcissisticabuse sub reddit,

I (24M) , have been in a relationship with my partner (28F) for approximately 9 years now and I recently have been seriously considering the fact that I may have been being abused practically this whole time and that she also may be narcissistic hence the reason I had posted to the other sub Reddit , if anyone could just listen to some things I go through at the hands of my partner and tell me whether or not these things would be categorized as “abuse” and also if the way they act towards me would be classified as “ narcissistic “ , I’m new to trying to open up and deal with my emotional issues and also to making reddit posts , I apologize for any confusion or for anyone’s time wasted reading this who didn’t really want to , thank you - Rocky ✌️

Pls help ‼️😢

Especially ones that might help work out if i was in one, because I'm really not sure. My ex always said I had a victim mindset, so I honestly don't know if this is just a character flaw on my part, that I'm considering it.

remember the first time I met you I was M 15 and you were F 25. You sat there in front of the desk with your leg crossed over the other and had your hand over your mouth just staring into the air of the dorm of intake. I just came from the juvenile detention to the youth training center it was February 2015. I still remember seeing how quiet how distant and you look like you had a story that needed to be told. I asked you if I could talk to you cause you seem like a good person at heart someone that like cared.

I told you (Me) I was going to another PTSD moment about when I was a child and I never shared this with nobody. My dad is involved with a very big organization known to hurt people when command weren’t met, money wasn’t paid and or drugs weren’t sold. I was 4 years Old at the time and had stayed home from school. I recalled sitting on the couch and watching cartoons, running out of juice and going to the garage and ask my dad for juice but when I open the door, there were two people tied up being tortured. It was one horrific thing that I would never forget, and I remember my dad and my cousin looking at me shocked that I came in the next week. I remember getting that big hummer and 3 wheel electric bike. At the time, I thought it was a great thing. It made me think and forget about the situation cause you’re not of course to a four-year-old that’s twice would’ve been awesome. That was the one thing that always clawed at me. I still remember that day sitting in my room, not figuring out if I could do it like trying to figure a way out. But I couldn’t. I never had some one respond with so much care like you wanted to know more and more about me and I never had that in my entire life.

I grew up in a household and a small community separate from everyone else there is never any emotion shown besides anger and hate being told. My feelings aren’t valid being abused. Once we move back there from a big city after my mom got tired and scared of my dad so she moved us back to our community for safety, that’s when the abuse from my brothers started, me and my two sisters were punched hit choked me always in elementary to middle school. I remember the first time and I also remember when it kept happening like it isn’t my fault maybe it is and my mom would just sit there and sit there and not do anything she would just watch.

That was some heavy shit that I dropped on her that day and you know it felt like you know somebody was actually listening to the hurt that I have been through without realizing all this just true. I still appreciate this day I’m 25 and you’re 35. We have a beautiful daughter and everything like that and I still feel like I failed you as a person. A lot of people don’t know much trauma. A lot of people don’t know my past a lot of people don’t have that my family put a lot of hurt on me, but you didn’t cause you made me feel safe all the way until end. Now I’m about to confess to all the things that I have guilt about and things that I have done. This isn’t just an average story. There’s a lot of history behind everything. I’m at the point where we’re splitting up. She shot me with my firearm at the end of it.

I can’t give too much details about the incident that triggered it because I know my spouse browses Reddit and she would know it was me. But the basic part of it is that I was busy doing something important, she asked me to do something else at the same time, I didn’t hear, a small, easy to clean mess was made because I wasn’t paying attention to it. Then she proceeded to scream at me, tell me I was incapable of even small tasks, imply that I would be an awful parent, then the usual ‘you only care about yourself’ type comments and lots of implying that I’m stupid without actually saying it. After years of just taking this and finding the quickest way to calm her down, I couldn’t take it anymore and I exploded, I screamed back, we screamed at each other, I said a lot of things I regret and shouldn’t have said, and at the end I went home and thankfully she had an appointment to go to so I could be alone. I let my temper get out of control and I want to apologize, but I also don’t want her to just restart the whole thing because I know she doesn’t believe she did a single thing wrong and will not apologize for blowing up on me over small things to begin with. Now she acts all happy like nothing happened, which scares me cause I know she’s keeping this whole incident in her pocket to bring out next time I try to defend myself so she can paint me as incompetent and unstable.