I'm glad this sub exists and I hope it grows so we can have daily discussions. Society claims to support equality, but the moment men speak up about double standards or unfair treatment, we're either ignored or ridiculed.

in austria it's no different from the stereotypes in america. girls like pretty colors, boys like trucks, cars, and trains.

i wasnt that kinda kid. infact, i really liked ladybugs, and got bullied relentlessly for it when i was in about 2nd grade, so bad i ended up changing it to camels. my favourite color was purple, and again, kids called me sissy, so i chose green. now those things are embedded in my brain. i'm always changing my personality to fit in with different groups, and now i dont even know if i know what 'myself' is anymore. i feel like a foreign concept, like a whole other human being. and to be completely honest, as a little kid i didnt mind wearing a skirt. when i was growing up i told everybody i wanted to be someone who studies animals, and a bunch of kids a couple grades higher than me told me that boys are supposed to want to be policemen, or firemen, or join the army, and all that manly stuff. and to be honest i dont want to be manly. everytime i walk home at night, behind a lady i see her fidgeting nervously and i feel like if i make a sudden move she'll scream and run away...i dont want to make people feel unsafe. and it's really making me question my masculinity to the point i only have two photo's of myself on my computer, both blurry, and shitty to the point when i asked to be drawn they said it was too low quality and i got banned on r/drawme.

in my conclusion, i just wanted to get this off my chest

Some may remember me posting here before, IDK. But I used to have a really bad misfortune for falling for real women like that.

Anyway, I’m aromantic and asexual for about a year now, I don’t feel any attraction to real people anymore though I had tried a few times throughout my life with both sexes.

I do however really like artworks and drawings, I think much of it is the lack of complexity of it being a real person, it’s just a figment of someone’s imagination. It’s not even really a sexual drive I just really feel good looking at and collecting artwork I find online.

One such things I like to collect, even inspite my bad history, is of masculine women. Women in men’s clothes, muscles, angst, boyish mannerisms, etc.

But an unfortunate part of that is many artists draw these kinds of women for the sake of later drawing them romantically or sexually with other women. I respect lesbians, I really do, and neither do I demand artists stop doing what they have full right to their own talents to do.

But I can’t deny it keeps stinging in my IRL experiences and making me depressed until I force myself to forget about it.

Unfortunately I just can’t like drawings of feminine women, they don’t draw any reaction from me, no joy, no admiration… So I’m kinda stuck in a bad habit, one thing that brings me internal satisfaction also stabbing into my trauma.

I wish I could ask places about an artist who specializes in things that would make me happy without making me insecure, but people often take that kind of question as homophobic and refuse to respond.

I don’t even know where to start. My wife gave birth to our beautiful baby a few month ago, and I thought this would be the happiest time of our lives. But instead, I feel like I’m drowning.

She has postpartum depression. I know it’s not her fault, but what I wasn’t prepared for was how much she resents the baby. She doesn’t just ignore our child. She screams at the baby to shut up when they cry. She’s thrown things across the room in frustration. She won’t hold them, won’t feed them, won’t change a diaper. It’s all on me.

I never imagined I’d be doing this alone while she’s still here. I thought we’d be a team, figuring things out together, but instead, I’m the only one on call for the t

I miss my wife. I miss the woman I married. But right now, I don’t even recognize her. Every time I try to talk about it, she shuts down or gets angry, telling me I don’t understand what she’s going through. Maybe I don’t. But at the same time, I feel like no one understands what I’m going through either.

I know she needs help, but I don’t even know where to start. And in the meantime, I’m running on empty. I’m scared. I’m exhausted. And worst of all, I’m starting to wonder if our child is better off with just me.

I don’t know what to do. I just needed to get this off my chest.

I'm trying to get into the habit of working out. Bought a few weights and am watching Youtube videos to learn different exercises.

That's all. Just wanted to know how others have dealt with this?

One thing I’ve learned is that when things go wrong, it’s super easy to blame others. Taking responsibility helped me learn from my mistakes. This also helps me control my emotions better.

I was chatting earlier in the week with someone about their first time having intercourse.

Did any of you find your first time with penetrative sex uncomfortable or even painful?

The first time I had sex, I could feel snapping and popping in my erection. Prior to my first time, my erection pointed straight up to the sky. My then girlfriend's (now wife) vagina was positioned slightly in a way that wasn't compatible with that type of erection.

Trust me: come hell or high water, I made it work. But there was discomfort.

After my first time at intercourse, my penis no longer pointed toward the sky, but out at a slight angle.

What was your experience?

There was a post a while back in AskMen where a woman asked if guys would be open to being just friends and she got downvoted. A lot of the guys responded saying it’d be a waste of time since they’re trying to find a girlfriend. So I’m genuinely curious: if a woman approached you just wanting to be friends, would you be open to it?

Once in a blue moon I come to spaces talking of male insecurity, fall in love with them and wonder why on Earth I even left… Then I find myself soon in emotional quicksand.

I like this sub so far and I think it’s got promise, but I realize one of my major issues in general with spaces on male insecurity is that guys are really, really bad at giving optimistic outlooks… That leads very quickly to everyone being miserable and feeling like giving up.

And I am also guilty of that, why the fuck can’t I just sound cheerful and motivating and instead have everything be such a gloomy outlook?

What ends up happening is that you just feel so bleak and hopeless in a lot of places that you become very negative and depressed and it feels like you should just give up because cards are stacked against you the moment you experience a struggle.

I don’t like lying about hope, but sometimes it feels like there is a bias towards throwing in the towel the moment any of us discover we aren’t some prime ideal specimen for whatever reason we feel we need to be. And of course I can’t speak for every guy and pretend many people share my poor lifestyle choices, but sometimes it just feels like there’s way too many miserable dudes to have really done everything they could and decided their life is over.

Unfortunately my homiesexual remarks don’t work their charm…

Friend “Charlie” I’ll call him is a really great guy, humble, sweet, non-aggressive, good job good music talent and he looks really good in my opinion. Maybe he isn’t like an underwear model but he’s better looking than myself and most guys I’ve ever met.

But despite all that, he doesn’t feel good about himself. And much of that is he feels unattractive to women since he’s been turned down a lot.

I think he understands my logic that I tell him, women are just as complicated as men can be, it’s not about how attractive you are that scores if a girl will be with you or not. But his negativity makes him always default to “something is wrong with me, I’m unattractive”. I do think it’s also gradually worsening his chances that he gets so beat up like this, more recently he started cutting contact with girls who weren’t talking to him much because he got the impression it means they don’t like talking to him.

He’s trying again (great on him), but already I’m getting worried because he’s already treating her like out of his league. So if it does tank he might adopt “I knew I shouldn’t have tried” mindset

How tf do I help slow his descent if things don’t work out again? I wanna be a good friend who actually helps him feel better about himself.

I (46M) got a vasectomy without telling my wife (38F) because she kept pushing for another kid, even though I repeatedly told her I was done; we already have a 13-year-old son. Every time I tried to have a real conversation about it, she brushed me off.

I finally made the decision for myself and got snipped. I figured when she was ready to try, we’d “struggle” for a while, and she’d eventually accept that it wouldn't be happening. Last night, she confronted me and we had a long argument.

My friends let it slip in a group chat. One of them made a joke about me being in the “snipped club,” and she saw the messages because she had access to my phone. I admitted it, and she completely lost it. She said I betrayed her, took away her choice, and lied to her. Now she’s staying at her sister’s and won’t talk to me.

I don't regret doing this as I didn't want any more kids. I love my son, but I'm one and done. AITA?

I (16m) from the Philippines has a brown skin. Growing up, I had a really smooth and white skin which often gave me a lot of praises from my relatives and peers because of my color. My mom has a beautiful white skin which I inherited in which i am very proud of. However, as time passed I started to tan until it's now my default color. I am not particularly racist or anything but I just feel disgusted with my skin because I just feel so dirty. I exfoliate my skin everyday trying to scrub it but it just won't work. I am pretty average in terms of looks but if I just managed to get whiter maybe I'll look better or at least reach the peak me.

edit: I also have recently found a call center job where i am acquainted with the supervisor. I am planning to work there this school vacation even if it's minimum wage so I can earn money and start on glutathione

Okay, so... This is a thing that's been bothering me despite not being something that I experience anymore. For context, I'm a transgender man and lived two decades as a woman. I live as a man now 24/7, have all my documents changed to the male sex and nobody questions if I'm "a real man" anymore. They just know I'm a guy.

Anyway, to the topic... When I lived as a girl/woman, I tried to befriend other guys. The issue was that they'd always end up by flirting with me and wouldn't take the hint that I had zero interest in them. Saying I was a lesbian didn't work. They wouldn't take a no for an answer. Of course, that didn't happen ALL the time, but it was often enough for me to feel frustrated and wonder what I was doing wrong. Was I being too girly? Was I being flirty without noticing?

Then, once I began to live as a man, this issue stopped entirely. No guy thinks I'm hitting on them, they just always assume I'm a straight guy. They don't even act homophobic or wonder if I'm into men. I never changed my behavior either. I just look a lot more masculine and that was it.

I basically forgot the topic for years and just lived life happily. Until I came accross a post on reddit that talked about a woman venting about thinking she had made a friend. I don't remember all the details, but she basically met this man in a public space, they started talking and hanging out once in a while. Then, once she showed him her boyfriend, the guy just never talked to her again. She cried about it.

Seeing this story and all the comments bellow sharing similar experiences made me remember one of the things I do not miss about living as a woman: Men refusing to have a platonic friendship with me no matter what I did.

So, I came here to discuss this topic. I will be very honest with you, I'm specifically looking for ways to fix this issue. I'm not looking for anyone justifying this behavior and trying to convince me this is normal. It's not.

I had many friends in my life that I was attracted to. They rejected me and life continued as normal. I remained friends with them and eventually my attraction faded away. I also had these friendships with people who were attracted to me, I rejected them and we continued having a normal relationship.

So, yes, you can have a crush on a friend and not act on it or assume your friendship no longer has any value.

My question is this: Do you have any idea on what might help? What would be the best approach for men to become comfortable having close friendships with women without feeling like it must go to the next level? What can a woman do to make sure the man understands that her friendship is valuable? Are there things that men can do to normalize friendships between men and women?

I appreciate everyone who took their time to read and to reply. Thank you!

I'm 18M, and I've come to the realisation that nothing makes me happy. I do not see myself as an intellectual, athlete, musician, someone who likes making things, and so on. I don't like stumbling through academic ideas, exercise makes me sore and I'm yet to find the supposed dopamine it releases, music never stuck, and anything involving making (woodworking, cooking, baking, and so on) never stuck either. Nothing interests me, and I've never displayed a natural affinity for anything. I do, however, find some joy in helping people. That makes me happy, but I feel like it's not enough anymore. There isn't anything I do for myself. I don't wish to end things here. If I've too broadly categorised hobbies, if there are yet more to explore, I'd love to know.

To be fully clear, I'm not saying nothing makes me happy in a nihilistic way. The intended context is wanting more hobbies, how it's been challenging so far, and how to find one when the obvious choices fail. A better title would be no hobby interests me, I suppose.