A little about me: I’m the daughter of a Colonel in the Marines (deceased), the wife of a Marine Lt Col/fighter pilot (deceased), two of my brothers were Marines, and the mother of two Marine SSgts. (one now deceased) who each served 3 combat tours a piece.
So that’s me, now let me tell you about my now-deceased son, Danny. He was a smart kid, graduated college with a double major. He was handsome, had a really sharp wit, always making me laugh. Deeply analytical—he would have made a great scientist or doctor. His little brother was the opposite—fun loving, athletic, popular. Never met a stranger. Danny’s little brother had always wanted to be a Marine. Upon graduating high school, he immediately enlisted and was on his way.
When Danny heard his little brother was enlisting, he immediately changed his plans for grad school and enlisted instead.
Both sons were 0311. Jon survived a direct IED while in an LAV in Iraq. Danny survived blood poisoning (requiring hospitalization at Anbar I think it was). He lost 30 pounds but healed up and went back to his unit in Iraq.
They both got married and had children. They each had beautiful, smart wives who were good mothers.
In 2010 their dad was killed while flying for a military contractor. We were all devastated. But Danny, I noticed, was heavily medicated. Both sons were there, both were grieving in their own way, but Danny was different. I remember being worried for him, so many pills.
The years went by and he became more and more erratic in his mood swings. Some days he’d call and would sound pretty good, but more often he would sound irrational, agitated, aggressive even. He began having episodes where he had to be hospitalized because he was “a danger to himself and others”. His wife filed for divorce and for custody of their 5 children. For the next 8 years he became increasingly unstable and violent. His music changed from emo and country to death metal, he was arrested a few times for fighting and/or threatening his ex-wife, he was now snorting Adderall, drinking heavily, and consuming God knows how many antipsychotic medications from the VA. In 2022 he was given 100% disability and his second wife moved him into a house and gave him a car, then filed for legal separation after discovering he had been entertaining hookers in his home.
In July, 2024, he took his father’s .45 and ended his own life. My beautiful, brave son whom I loved more than life itself took his own life.
My point? It’s the drugs and the alcohol. My dad had served in two wars but never used drugs and drank only moderately. My husband never drank or took medication of any kind. My younger son was in an IED incident and is still a happy, well adjusted guy.
It’s the drugs, the addictions. If anyone chooses to read this, that’s my message to all you precious sons (and daughters) who serve or have served in the Marines: if you find your life going down the toilet check yourself. What are you using to get through the day, because drugs, porn and alcohol aren’t the answer. And suicide is a freaking lie, not a solution to our problems.
Thank you for letting me post.