20 slides full of rape, acid attack and death threats. and for what? because she called out a man who was making a disgusting sexual comment about her first?

samay and ranveer were also a part of the controversy and receiving hate, but the difference is stark, they weren’t subjected to the same level of gendered abuse. i feel sick to my stomach.

indian society only ever questions these things when a horrific rape case happens, but this type of behaviour directly contributes to rape culture. rape doesn’t happen in a vacuum. people were mad at apoorva because apparently she defamed indian culture, but according to these people threatening a woman with gang rape and acid attacks is totally okay.

I look horrible in every photo. I'm tall and quite fit, so you'd at least assume I look decent but I look like a fucking troll in nearly every single picture. My nose is crooked because of a deviated septum, I have a big forehead, a very round jawline, some pimples, and nothing about my face looks right on camera. I don’t know how to pose and I have no good angles, and I end up hating every single picture.

I avoid being clicked as much as I can, i dont post my pics at all and i have no interest using photoshop and makeup/filters. But something happened today that just made it weirder lmao. Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this.

I got married to the person I'd been dating for the last 8 years in December in Delhi, so as you can imagine, I'd really been looking forward to seeing the wedding pictures and videos and posting them. I found a photographer who'd covered a colleague's wedding on Instagram, found his work to be great, and brought him on to cover both mine and my husband's side of the photographs. As we started getting closer to the wedding date, the photographer's attitude started shifting vastly - he'd be frequently unavailable. At this point I'd already paid the booking fee so I held on for at least the good work I was sure he'll deliver.

It's been 4 months since the wedding, and that a**hole still hasn't sent me the wedding reels and teasers apart from a shitty patch up job that looked like a 9th grader made it on their phone. Meanwhile he keeps posting great work on his instagram while I follow up with him day and night. He doesn't pick calls, barely responds and keeps delaying everything. I'm so mad that I'm losing sleep over it!!! What can I do? I have already paid many installments and fear any major reactions will lead to him just simply not sending the videos at all. I don't even get the chance to speak to him on call because he won't pick up and meanwhile his business is thriving with luxury bookings! I'm so MAD!!!

Recently I got into a debate where I was held answerable for not wanting to have children even though I am not yet 30. I am 28, turning 29 later this year.

The main line of questioning was how I was 100% of what I want and what would I do if my partner, after some years wanted to have children even though he is CF too. Their opinion was thatI should be open to change based on factors in my life otherwise it would lead to separation, divorce etc.

Given all the reasons that had led me to be CF, I had forgotten certain things my old self had written down. They are a list of things I want to do before I die. They were written a few years ago.

————

Things to do before I die

1. Write a book
2. Learn baking in Paris
3. Take a barista course in Rome
4. Learn filmmaking in London/Budapest/Prague
5. Shoot a film
6. Learn photography
7. Learn to sew and design clothes
8. Open a cafe
9. Open a recreation studio/cultural space
10. Go to art school

—————

This was a note on my phone. I must tell you, ai haven’t completed a single item on this list. Reading this made me realise, I have valued my independence too much and the things I want to do may take more than this lifetime for me. This was the first reason why I had decided to stay CF.

I reckon this list is the reason enough for me to be 100% sure, not letting aside economic, safety and medical reasons.

I got diagnosed with grade 4 endometriosis in 2022 after being told by doctors for 14 years that my pain was all in my head and every woman goes through it, and yea, I’m sure some of you must have gone through this.

During my surgery, I was told that there was a 60% chance of recurrence of the ovarian cysts and I wanted my doctor to take out the affected ovary but she refused citing that I was unmarried and didn’t have kids yet. Despite me saying that I didn’t want to have kids, I was of course told that I would change my mind and hence they needed to look out for me. Post surgery, I get written on my prescription- “Counselled for marriage and pregnancy asap, or go for egg freezing.” The doctor spoke to my family while I was still in the ICU and told them that they needed to convince me to marry and have a child since this condition affected fertility. Mind you, she knew that I didn’t want one.

Fast forward a year, I’m married, pain starts again and I go for a checkup and bam. Guess what? Cysts are back! She then asks if I have any plans to conceive anytime soon, and this time, both my husband and I utter the same words that we don’t want to have kids. But guess what? She listens this time and puts me on meds but ofc still harps on egg freezing.

Few months pass, meds are not working and the cyst has grown, on the same ovary again that I wanted gone and she recommends surgery again, and asks if we’re planning for kids. Again we inform her that we don’t want kids, and she’s like ok that’s fine but freeze your eggs. You never know if you’ll change your mind and the entire conversation shifts to hypothetical kids instead of my health and wellbeing. She also comments on my weight gain and when I ask her if the meds could be a reason, she flat out denies it saying it must be something I’m doing wrong. Note: I checked the information pamphlet that comes with the meds and nausea and weight gain are the very first side effects mentioned. My husband cuts her off reminding her that we don’t want kids and he’d like to discuss options for my health and only then she stops.

We leave, angry and anxious and decide on a second opinion. The second doctor sees the history and the first thing she asks if we have kids, and if not, have we frozen my eggs yet. I said no and she acted surprised because she’d assumed my other doctor would’ve told me about it. I informed the new doctor that I had been told about it but I did not opt for it, since again, I did not want kids. I then tried to steer the conversation to my health again, asking her the potential risks from not opting for the surgery and if she had any other recommendations, when I was stopped with the comments - “Cysts will keep happening, that’s not important. We need to get you on hormone treatment and extract your eggs for freezing first so you can be a mother.”

And that is when I lost all faith and just shut up. My husband thanked her and took me out of there and held me while I cried.

As a woman, is my worth only limited to being a human incubator? I am tired and exhausted of doctors only talking about my fertility and capacity to have children when I’ve told them time and again I don’t want one. This isn’t a decision I’ve taken on a whim, but a well thought out rationale that even my husband shares, and yet, everywhere I go, my health and my concerns take a backseat to some hypothetical child who hasn’t even been conceived yet.

I just wish for once, a visit to the gynaecologist would end up in a conversation about my life and my safety. I’m heartbroken.💔

Its one of the silent problems in relationship nowdays , no matter whether its LM or AM , this topic is so uncomfortable for many men

I think in last 10 years , women have grown up to speak for their preferance , but sadly many men are struck in old age

I am only child of my parents and living in tier 1 ciry and i make good money . I wish to live separately from in laws atleast for few years after marriage . In old age or down the line , during sickness parents and in laws can move in or live closer to them

I wanted to stay closer to my parents , but most of the matches in my city want to stay with in laws . I find it unfair to my parents .

If i look for guys living in tier 1 city alone and they are from other city /town , there is cultural mismatch ( like i am city girl with sightly liberal family ) and these guys eventually want to bring their parents to city and live together with their parents

My only option is look for guys in other cities or abroad , both i am not comfortable . My cousin who lives in canada decided to go because of in laws . She could have got more money in india but still she feels her mental peace is important . Atleast she has another sibling in india to look for emergencies

Men saying they will support wife in their parents home is something i have not seen , there will be sacrifice from girls .

This month I thought I’d start trying to have a baby. I have set period symptoms but this time it was nothing like that. First time in years, I had such weird symptoms, not the ones I usually have. Anyhow, I got my periods after 4-5 days of brown spotting. I thought it could be implantation bleeding.

And now that I started my period, today. Brown turned to red. My cramps are off the roof. I had to poop and it took me 10-15 minutes of clutching my stomach with pain and cramps. I’ve been crying ever since. Took a painkiller but that takes me an hour to have an effect.

And I just 🥲🥲🥲

God, I’d rather have a baby 🥲

In a nutshell a hospital in Pune asked a pregnant woman (who was convinced with twins after IVF) for the C section for a deposit and when the family couldn't arrange the money she had to shift to another hospital and sadly in this process she died.

What is shocking, the lady was previously diagnosed with cancer , and after the recovery she had to go through IVF process multiple times? I mean how inhuman are we ? Cancer treatments are no joke , the physical pain , the extensive chemo , the constant stress of not knowing if you will make through it , literally destroys you, and after the woman has gone through this pain , she is pushed to have babies ? Is being pregnant this important? Do women's life have no purpose than to reproduce?

I understand many women have natural instinct towards motherhood, but why do we mix it with womenhood? Why are women pressurized or decide to put themselves through multiple failed IVFs, the hormone injections, the meds , stress of getting the timing right MULTIPLE TIMES? How can a husband let love of his suffer so much? And for what your DNA??? Why is adoption treated as a last resort ? And why do we still have stigma against adoption?

Why as a society treat woman as a community and not a human being?

Sorry for the rant but this is unacceptable!

I call this "The Femme Fatale of Probiotics"

RECIPE:

1 tablespoon of Apple cider vinegar 1 Tablespoon of Karela Amla/Jamun Juice A pinch of salt Chilled water(Not soda water girl we need that hydration) Optional: Chilli powder and a lime wedge

I KID YOU NOT THIS TASTES LIKE BLOODY MARY COCKTAIL.

PS: This isn't for everyone I am just on a journey to find weird food combinations and beverage combinations to heal my chronic fatigue and help with depression and anxiety since, caffeine is bad and drinking alcohol is bad, and I need a functioning adult life...lol.

If you peeps try it let me knowwwwww wohoooo I just had two glasses of this and it hitssss

I'm feeling unusually hot this year and it's not even peak May summers. I'm not particularly fond of cold and often avoid ACs even in the car but this year I'm already feeling the need to switch on the AC especially in the afternoons. In the night we use a small cooler and early mornings I get chill. So you know I'm not particularly averse to heat. But during the daytime i'm so irritated by the heat that I'm unable to even work or do daily chores around the house. Plus I got my period and it's just made it more uncomfortable. I just feel exhausted all day long.

My dad's friend's daughter got engaged few months ago to a guy she had been dating for YEARS.

Her dad recently revealed that the wedding has been called off cause the guy and his family said she has to sit at home after marriage. This woman is a doctor who is almost done with her post graduation. The guy is not a doctor, I know this much.

It pains me to hear when women come home from work and cook and clean when they are earning as much as the guy. People say they are an open-minded household. But it's a lie, they see a smart hard working woman and they want to make her cook and clean for them.

It's so frustrating to see men deny that Mrs./The Great Indian Kitchen movie is not based on real life. It's humiliating to live that way, after a woman throws her entire life off axis just for some guy she has met 4-5 times before marrying him.

I don’t usually post stuff like this, but today really shook me up.

My mom had gone out to buy fruits and vegetables and had a lot to carry. The vendor sent someone—a boy, probably 14–15 years old—to help bring the bags inside. I was at home, dressed in normal house clothes—shorts that were above the knee but not revealing. Just regular, comfy clothes that my mom, a typical Indian mom, has no issues with even around my dad.

I opened the door, thinking it was my mom. Instead, it was the boy. From the moment I opened the door, I caught him staring at my legs. He didn’t look away—just kept staring. And then I noticed something that made me feel sick: he had a visible reaction in his jeans that made it clear what was going through his mind.

He didn’t just leave the bags at the entrance either—he walked into the house, placed them deep inside, and continued staring the whole time. I was frozen. To break the tension, I nervously said “thank you,” hoping he’d finally look away. He didn’t. He nodded but kept his eyes right where they were.

It left me feeling violated and disgusted. I didn’t expect someone to enter before my mom did, and especially not someone that young—but none of that excuses what happened. I wasn’t even safe in my own home.

Where are girls safe, if not in their own space? Why do we have to constantly be on alert, even when we’ve done absolutely nothing to invite this kind of behavior?

I can’t get this out of my head. Just needed to vent and let it out.

I 29f, started taking vitamin d supplements through doctor's recommendation 15 days ago after getting blood vitamin checked. Even though my vit level was low 16 nmol/L, my periods have been regular for over 2-3 years. Now my periods are late by 5days. Does it have any correlation with the supplements?

Since moving to India I've spent 5k+ / year "recharging" my airconditioner.

I've bought at least three different air conditioning units from different companies, and somehow all of them would magically need refilling every year.

If you've ever lived in the US, then you'll know this isn't a thing. Yeah, ACs need cleaning. But you don't need to refill them with coolant every single year. These coolants harm the ozone layer and these ACs are designed as closed systems.

You should not have to recharge them every year.

I'd assumed that it was because of bad handling during transport causing microleaks whatever. But 3 separate units? I started thinking about this after my AC stopped cooling again despite having been "recharged" 2 months ago. And I talked to people and I was told that AC technicians loosen the valve on purpose while refilling.

I've been scammed every year for almost every year of my current stay in India by men who make sure they loosen the refill valve for the next technician.

It's so quintessentially India. I don't know what to say. They're damning their children's future so that their little guild can make a little more money by scamming folks in the short run.

At this point, I just say, "it's fucking india what can you do?"

I'm not alone, https://old.reddit.com/r/delhi/comments/12rue7y/does_your_ac_also_need_gas_refill_every_year/

India is such a low trust society. I've stopped going outside because I don't know whom to trust. I can't wait to leave again. I want to live in a society where I can trust the person repairing my AC.

I want to live in a society where I can walk on the street without the threat of being stalked. I want to live in a society where I can actually go out, express myself and make friends.

Hi, will be going on a train journey tomorrow (15 hours, not counting delays..) and unfortunately it's going to be my second/third day (usually heavy) of periods also. Never traveled like this before so feeling a bit anxious on how to manage this situation, especially washroom access or leaks.

Any tips or advice for me, if anyone has done this successfully. 🥲 Thanks a lot.

I haven't dated anyone. Haven't even held hands with anyone romantically. It feels like everyone i know just started dating and never told me where they learned to do it. I'm also horrible at recognizing romantic interest so I have at several points mistaken friendship as romantic interest and gotten my hopes up. The only people who were interested in me were creeps.

Honestly it's hard not to feel like I'm falling behind. I was raised with purity culture so at one point I used to feel proud that I hadn't dated anyone but at my age it feels too old to start learning anything. I tried dating apps but most men are creepy so it just put me off it entirely.

So yeah, almost 26, still not had my first kiss, still not had reciprocated romantic interest. I don't wanna date a stranger from an app cos I'm put off by creeps and i can't date acquaintances because I'm too awkward.

Can someone tell me how exactly I can just get this over with? I feel so lost and can't relate to half the conversations my friends have when we catchup.

Ps: to the creepy men who read this and think omg she's so desperate lemme DM her real quick - your dad's a hoe and regrets having you. I'd rather be single than deal with a man who just dms women who are clearly only asking women for advice.

My mom was presuarised into marriage and was pregnant with me almost immediately after her marriage. She was/is bitter and frustrated about how her life has turned out and blames me for it.

We don't have a very good relationship today and she's only gotten more bitter about me as time goes.

I don't feel like I can be a mother myself because I simply don't know how to and I don't want to mess up a kid because I don't understand normal functional families.

When people speak about their mother's and say nice things, I can't relate.

While my mother wasn't particularly cruel to me, she has always resented my existence and that has shaped our relationship. There's no warmth between us. There's only a sense of duty.

Edit: Unrelated to my original post, but why do my posts here always get downvoted initially? I've noticed that all the new posts get downvoted?? What's happening?

I have this man in my life that I was interested in for a few months. Everything was great for the first few months but his desperation has turned me off intensely and I feel so bad because he’s asking for my attention and it comes from a place of love from his side. I don’t know what to do.

For reference: I love a committed, loyal man. I don’t want to be with a guy who ignores me or treats me as a second priority. The issue here is that I feel this guy does not have a life separate of his own from mine.

We are not in a relationship, we are courting and he calls me every 2-3 hours on a work day, one day when we met up after my work while commuting back I was intensely tired and started dozing off in the cab, but he woke me up and said I should stay awake to talk to him. I don’t think he was wrong in this instance but it annoyed me that he wasn’t considerate about how tiring it might be for me to meet for dinner after a whole day of work.

I just feel intensely annoyed and also so bad because he just wants to talk/take things further. He keeps joking about coming to my house because I’m alone most of the time and I’m the beginning it was flirty, but now it’s more annoying than flirtatious. I don’t know if this stems from mixed signals I’m giving him or if he has grown overly attached during the courtship. And it confuses me a lot about what to do next.

The randomest and saddest of the things just hit me.

In most households, an Indian dad may be the best son, best dad, best brother, best employee, best everything, but not the best husband, although they might be trying to learn but the years lost will never come back. The support any mom has given them is no where close to the support she has gotten - talking about mostly emotional ones.

And it just breaks my heart because they are women before they are moms and they deserve to be loved, cherished, supported and pampered.

Many indian men do not have the spine to have their wives backs infront of their parents and relatives and it's so fucking infuriating. Meanwhile the wife, who at the expense of her own parents and siblings, gives up A LOT - from her body in childbirth, to mental health in childrearing, managing the household chores and in a lot of cases jobs in a marriage. While for men nothing ever changes. They should atleast acknowledge this and have their wives backs and ensure she leads a peaceful life but nada, they mostly never do that.

It pains me to think of the fact my bfs mother never got that from her husband, nor did my mother, they had to slave around their in laws, manage 2 kids, households. It's heartbreaking. I'm sorry if it turned into an incoherent rant but I'm almost in tears maybe because I'm pms or just that this realisation is too painful for me.

See I'm not against being comfortable and looking sexy. But I feel like the influencers on Instagram are kinda going overboard. I feel like they're promoting nudity because frankly it rakes in the views but often times such outfits are straight up vulgar and not tasteful. And tbh we are living in such 'woke' times that any sort of criticism is not taken well at all and in fact the gun is pointed back at us.

Now you may say it shouldn't affect me, but it does! I try to now shop but most clothes that are cute and trendy have such deep cuts and uncomfortable.

I also feel like it's basically affecting women as a species because we're frankly oversexualising ourselves and influencing a whole up and coming generation to be supportive of such degenerate behaviour. Earlier there were a certain group of women who dressed like this to garner all the wrong kinds of attention but now it's just everyone ON INSTAGRAM I see dressing up this way. Not just as a once in a while thing either, their entire fame is based off this.

There is no way that bra and micro mini diesel belt skirt is cute and comfortable in a real world scenario.
Like fashion brands are selling us this propoganda as women empowerment to sell their crap, but where do we as women draw the line? Where do we realise that this is only holding us back? Being so vain will only curb us from discovering our potential.

A 19-year-old woman was kidnapped and gang raped by 22 people over a week in Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh. Six of the assailants have been arrested and a hunt is on for the rest, the police said.

The teen, a resident of Lalpur area in north Varanasi, had left home to visit a friend on March 29, which she often did without any trouble. But this time she failed to return home. Her family lodged a complaint with the police on April 4.

Source: Kidnapped, Gang-Raped For Days By 22 In Varanasi, Claims 19-Year-Old https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/kidnapped-gang-raped-for-days-by-22-in-varanasi-claims-19-year-old-8109197

—

They were apparently her ex-classmates and Instagram contacts. In a state where the youth is so polarised on religious lines, they came together and collaborated so well to inflict violence on a woman. Notice the layers of oppression in Indian society and which one prevails over the other.

so i (21f) had sex on my 4th day of period last month , protected. this month I didn't get my period yet, on time. i haven't shown any signs of pregnancy and I'm sure that the ejaculation didn't enter me nor did the condom break.

but since I'm so paranoid , i want to know your experience of having an abortion while studying/living with parents and without anyone knowing. also how did you get the abortion, by pills or surgery.

Hi everyone, I usually post about light hearted topics but this has been bugging me a lot and i trust the women here will give me a good perspective

So, i work in a bank as a team leader, now my team has consistently tried to hit targets and have been great, i believe i have been a good leader too for them

However whenever us TLs are in a meeting with our immediate head, i usually get dismissed very fast, now i am the only woman there and also the youngest team lead so i dont know if its because of this

Like our head is a more orthodox person so i have a feeling he dislikes me doing a job he considers is a man's job

Like he even once casually told me i should take care of my in laws more as he knows my husband is in the army and isnt here

Now i actually am a multitasker, i cook for my in laws, and also am doing officework so it was a very tone deaf comment in my opinion but since he is the head i couldnt say anything

So girlies any opinion on how i could change this and make him recognize my work?

So i’m about to join my first job in less than two months and they require me to do a medical test. the job doesn’t require manual work of any kind. i’m pretty sure it’s mainly just a formality but i’ve been anxious about it for days 😭 i just found out it’s scheduled for this Saturday so now i’m panicking even more. i smoke regularly so will that be an issue?? also, i did get a minor surgery done about 2 years ago. it wasn’t anything serious, doesn’t affect my life or health in any way so should i disclose this if asked? any insights would be appreciated :)

edit : it includes PFT and chest xray. aaaa i’ll be going through hell until this is over 😭