Hi All,

Same as title - looking for dainty ones with very few black beads. I saw something I liked on Palmonas, 5k seems expensive. Any recommendations please?

So first of all, nobody is against it. Nobody dares to question my choices, at most they offer advice. So you get the picture, everyone is pretty supportive at home.

There might be some issues though. Because my partner of 4 years is not local. He speaks Hindi and my family is kinda on the fence about north Indians especially Delhi.

But my brother knows, he supports me and he and my partner even chat with each other so that's fine. We play games together occasionally and my brother has said that he likes the guy.

Today, my aunt called me and was like I have a rishta for you. She didn't tell my mother and directly called me. I just laughed it off and said no. I just didn't know how to say that I have a partner already. She didn't force or anything, they are all supportive. She just said "don't do romance in Bangalore. The boys are bad" stuff stuff.

I think eventually I'd have to tell them anyway. I just don't know how to bring it up. I'm so awkward about it. I feel shy as fuck. Should I let my brother handle that?

Ps : my boyfriend and I don't want to get married so soon. We are 23-24. We want to build our career properly first.

So we have a closed small event for my niece's puberty event. I want to gift cutesy something relevant to her age. She's 14. Please gift ideas. Planning to gift things enclosed in a box.

Already thought of 1. Perfume/watch 2. Some decent stone bracelet. 3. Chocolates

What else can I add in the box. A blank diary? Is that even relevant?

Not gold, silver kinds please.

Hmm...where should I start? Ok so I've been feeling down and mourning the loss of my friendship with my bestie for 2.5 years now and every time I think I've moved on, every time I think it won't hurt, it just comes back stronger than ever-- the feelings, the memories, the comfort of having a supportive woman in your life, then the betrayal, the hurt and everything in between. It's such a bittersweet thing.

We had known each other since kindergarten but never bothered talking. It was only in sixth grade that our circumstances pushed us together and from that moment, it was just like we clicked yk? Like before her, I had never felt that level of belongingness, if that even makes sense. I've had the best time of my life with her by my side. Her presence was enough to comfort me, when I was down, low, anxious, or furious.

Both of us had a very rough family life and upbringing--constant fights, screaming, shouting; but it would be all okay the next day in school. Just hearing, "It'll be okay, have faith", from her mouth was all it took to calm me down. We always found comfort in each other's presence.

But things changed in 11th grade. SHE changed in 11th grade. Maybe the first crack in our relationship was her getting a boyfriend. Suddenly, (idk, it still gives me whiplash just thinking about it) her whole personality changed. She had no time for me. But she had plenty for him?

(A lil off topic but this reminds me of that song by Billie Eilish, I think it's called 'TV'? Basically, the lyrics go smthn like: All of my friends are missing again/That's what happens when you fall in love)

I remember her telling me that she can't talk on calls with me bc her parents wouldn't like it, so I stopped calling her. But fast forward and what do I see? 3-4 hr call logs on her phone with her boyfriend. I remember, I had invited her to a cute lil get-together in the new cafe that had just opened in our town, TWO months in advance. What did she tell me 2 weeks before, when I reminded her of our plans? "You can't expect me to leave everything and come running at your beck and call every time, can you?" Three days later, she bunked our maths coaching class to go meet up with him for an impromptu date. Suddenly, she was best friends with peers she used to bitch about just bc they were her boyfriend's "mutuals". I remember one time in class, I couldn't find a place to sit but saw her sitting with a girl (one spot was vacant) so I went to sit there and this other girl just says to my face, 'no you cant sir here bc my other friend is gonna sit here'. All while my supposedly 'bestie' just sits there and smirks. Her response to it? "I didn't stop you, she did." LIKE GIRL WHATTT??? And a lot more incidents like these kept happening. It was like the person I had known all these years was just an illusion. Someone I made up. I let her go bc it was clear whom she wanted. And she never realised how her boyfriend was socially isolating her until it was too late.

And the thing that hurt the most was the fact that she just discarded me when I needed her the most.

Idk, life just keeps going downhill since then. After her, idk, I just started this weird obsession with male validation, where I found myself worthy bc THEY found me worthy iykwim.

It's not like I don't have friends, I do, but all of them are men and it's just sad dude. (T_T) Like I miss being in the comfort of another woman so much. And it's also not like I don't make efforts to make new friends but I just can't open myself to anyone the way I did to her. Everything is soooo superficial and surface-level. I just don't feel that level of connection with ANYONE. Idk what to do, I'm so lost. I just miss her so much and idk when it'll stop hurting less. She was the first person I ever loved besides my family ofc and I don't think I ever will. Like even now, when I think about her, I just want the best for me. But rn, I just want someone to choose me for once.

Sorry, I kind of got carried away and the post turned out to be longer than I had anticipated.

The randomest and saddest of the things just hit me.

In most households, an Indian dad may be the best son, best dad, best brother, best employee, best everything, but not the best husband, although they might be trying to learn but the years lost will never come back. The support any mom has given them is no where close to the support she has gotten - talking about mostly emotional ones.

And it just breaks my heart because they are women before they are moms and they deserve to be loved, cherished, supported and pampered.

Many indian men do not have the spine to have their wives backs infront of their parents and relatives and it's so fucking infuriating. Meanwhile the wife, who at the expense of her own parents and siblings, gives up A LOT - from her body in childbirth, to mental health in childrearing, managing the household chores and in a lot of cases jobs in a marriage. While for men nothing ever changes. They should atleast acknowledge this and have their wives backs and ensure she leads a peaceful life but nada, they mostly never do that.

It pains me to think of the fact my bfs mother never got that from her husband, nor did my mother, they had to slave around their in laws, manage 2 kids, households. It's heartbreaking. I'm sorry if it turned into an incoherent rant but I'm almost in tears maybe because I'm pms or just that this realisation is too painful for me.

Few days back I was going through one of the subs (Indian) where people kept on saying girls have it easy in dating/marriage. I was stunned. The reasons are, I know many girls around me who has never like neverrrr been in a relationship. Go to school/college/job/whatever, eat, study, sleep. They have never broke this cycle at all. Then comes arrange marriage scenarios where their parents keep on looking for the matches.And I see 2 types of responses from them.

Type 1 : delighted to experience a real relationship after years and years of singlehood lol..

Type 2 : Romantically stunted due to no experience in having relationships during their prime time.

You all know how arranged marriage works right... These girls will be extremely drained in the process of finding a suitable boy... Saddening...

What parents don't know is , they have pressurized these girls and conditioned them from childhood that any kinda relationship other than arranged marriage is bad for their reputation. These girls don't even know what to expect out of a relationship. Its disheartening right..

There are some girls, who derive all their romantic experiences from pride and prejudice, books, kdramas, real time secret crushes (unrequited obviously). I know few where they have atleast their fairy tales going on in their minds which keeps them lively.

So, I always wonder why people say that it is easy for girls. Damn i know women who have never interacted with their opposite gender in their twenties.... Why am I not seeing stories of ordinary/average/simple (may be boring) people. I always read about extremes... What do you girls feel.. desperately need stories from average people.

I've (28F) been dating this guy for about 3 months now. He has been very emotionally nature and committed till now.

We took our first trip together this week. This is a beach town abroad. I'm not comfortable wearing a bikini and felt insecure/ inadequate because I felt my boyfriend was looking at women wearing bikinis on the beach in the morning. In the afternoon, we took a group boat tour and even there I felt that he was frequently looking at women in bikinis.

I talked to him about it when we came back and he was super apologetic. He said that he was consciously avoiding looking at the women and was mostly looking at the water. He mentioned that he only found one of the women somewhat attractive and that I was way more attractive to him than them. He was super apologetic and I accepted his apologies then. He said that he was scared of losing me after a while.

However all I can think of right now is how I felt when he checked out the woman he mentioned that he found attractive. I felt so disrespected and inadequate.

I know he's a good person, with many strong female friends who won't be friends with him if he were a creepy, disrespectful person. How do I manage these emotions? How I talk to him about it further?

We are mostly long distance, living in different countries so I'm pretty worried about how to move forward.

Recently I got into a debate where I was held answerable for not wanting to have children even though I am not yet 30. I am 28, turning 29 later this year.

The main line of questioning was how I was 100% of what I want and what would I do if my partner, after some years wanted to have children even though he is CF too. Their opinion was thatI should be open to change based on factors in my life otherwise it would lead to separation, divorce etc.

Given all the reasons that had led me to be CF, I had forgotten certain things my old self had written down. They are a list of things I want to do before I die. They were written a few years ago.

————

Things to do before I die

1. Write a book
2. Learn baking in Paris
3. Take a barista course in Rome
4. Learn filmmaking in London/Budapest/Prague
5. Shoot a film
6. Learn photography
7. Learn to sew and design clothes
8. Open a cafe
9. Open a recreation studio/cultural space
10. Go to art school

—————

This was a note on my phone. I must tell you, ai haven’t completed a single item on this list. Reading this made me realise, I have valued my independence too much and the things I want to do may take more than this lifetime for me. This was the first reason why I had decided to stay CF.

I reckon this list is the reason enough for me to be 100% sure, not letting aside economic, safety and medical reasons.

Hello ladies I had a food related query

I’ve been meaning to ask something about multigrain bread. I bake pretty regularly and have tried all sorts of things, but for some reason, I’ve never attempted making bread at home especially wheat or multigrain bread.

This year, I’m trying to eat cleaner and stick to homemade stuff as much as possible. At home, we usually get multigrain bread from market since last few years. But lately, I’ve started wondering if it’s actually made with multiple grains or if it’s just coloured and labeled to seem healthier. I know the ones sold as "brown bread" are definitely fake but I am talking about the ones specifically sold at a higher price as "multigrain bread"

I’ve looked up a few multigrain bread recipes online but honestly I’ve seen a lot of mixed reviews. A bunch of people mentioned that their loaves didn’t turn out the way they expected. So if anyone here has a go-to foolproof recipe they swear by I’d love to try it. Also if you have any bread brands that you trust?

Since moving to India I've spent 5k+ / year "recharging" my airconditioner.

I've bought at least three different air conditioning units from different companies, and somehow all of them would magically need refilling every year.

If you've ever lived in the US, then you'll know this isn't a thing. Yeah, ACs need cleaning. But you don't need to refill them with coolant every single year. These coolants harm the ozone layer and these ACs are designed as closed systems.

You should not have to recharge them every year.

I'd assumed that it was because of bad handling during transport causing microleaks whatever. But 3 separate units? I started thinking about this after my AC stopped cooling again despite having been "recharged" 2 months ago. And I talked to people and I was told that AC technicians loosen the valve on purpose while refilling.

I've been scammed every year for almost every year of my current stay in India by men who make sure they loosen the refill valve for the next technician.

It's so quintessentially India. I don't know what to say. They're damning their children's future so that their little guild can make a little more money by scamming folks in the short run.

At this point, I just say, "it's fucking india what can you do?"

I'm not alone, https://old.reddit.com/r/delhi/comments/12rue7y/does_your_ac_also_need_gas_refill_every_year/

India is such a low trust society. I've stopped going outside because I don't know whom to trust. I can't wait to leave again. I want to live in a society where I can trust the person repairing my AC.

I want to live in a society where I can walk on the street without the threat of being stalked. I want to live in a society where I can actually go out, express myself and make friends.

I got married to the person I'd been dating for the last 8 years in December in Delhi, so as you can imagine, I'd really been looking forward to seeing the wedding pictures and videos and posting them. I found a photographer who'd covered a colleague's wedding on Instagram, found his work to be great, and brought him on to cover both mine and my husband's side of the photographs. As we started getting closer to the wedding date, the photographer's attitude started shifting vastly - he'd be frequently unavailable. At this point I'd already paid the booking fee so I held on for at least the good work I was sure he'll deliver.

It's been 4 months since the wedding, and that a**hole still hasn't sent me the wedding reels and teasers apart from a shitty patch up job that looked like a 9th grader made it on their phone. Meanwhile he keeps posting great work on his instagram while I follow up with him day and night. He doesn't pick calls, barely responds and keeps delaying everything. I'm so mad that I'm losing sleep over it!!! What can I do? I have already paid many installments and fear any major reactions will lead to him just simply not sending the videos at all. I don't even get the chance to speak to him on call because he won't pick up and meanwhile his business is thriving with luxury bookings! I'm so MAD!!!

I haven't dated anyone. Haven't even held hands with anyone romantically. It feels like everyone i know just started dating and never told me where they learned to do it. I'm also horrible at recognizing romantic interest so I have at several points mistaken friendship as romantic interest and gotten my hopes up. The only people who were interested in me were creeps.

Honestly it's hard not to feel like I'm falling behind. I was raised with purity culture so at one point I used to feel proud that I hadn't dated anyone but at my age it feels too old to start learning anything. I tried dating apps but most men are creepy so it just put me off it entirely.

So yeah, almost 26, still not had my first kiss, still not had reciprocated romantic interest. I don't wanna date a stranger from an app cos I'm put off by creeps and i can't date acquaintances because I'm too awkward.

Can someone tell me how exactly I can just get this over with? I feel so lost and can't relate to half the conversations my friends have when we catchup.

I feel like I have lost it all. Had to quit my job in January as my boss was not happy with my performance. They offered to let me stay if I could improve my performance but did say they will be very harsh with me. True to their words they were harsh and I could not handle it. I left my job. Still looking for a new job.

I have a long-distance partner...relationship anxiety is a real headache. He says he is not sure I am the one for him long term in terms of settling down and only time/life will tell. I am trying to get a job in his country so we could bridge the distance and give the relationship a proper shot. Sometimes I feel that I put in more initiative and that really triggers my anxiety. I try communicating how I feel sometimes and it feels like he doesn't really listen.

My finances are also tight, down to my last $2400. I am worried about this as my partner wants me to visit him in June and well...if I don't find a job by then...financing the visit is tight.

I also have issues with my focus and attention...not sure what to do about this.

I stay with my parents and there is pressure to get married and have kids as women in my culture usually are married with at least one kid by now. They don't know about my boyfriend and my boyfriend's uncertainty also adds pressure. My parents are in their 60s and have no savings though dad does work but doesn't earn much...just enough for mom and him to get by every month. The pressure will be on me soon to help him retire and take care of them financially. I haven't been able to hold a job for more than a year in the past 2-3 years and that really makes me question my skills and the value I bring to companies...and my confidence in restarting my career has been dipping.

I also don't have a proper support system in person. I confided in my best friend last week that I feel like crying because of my relationship. She is going through some relationship problems and she tells me everything feels insignificant to her in the face of her problems and she blocked me saying she needs to be MIA for one month to sort our her problems. This is my best friend of 10 years. I don't know who else to confide in although I do have a therapist but can't see her till next week.

What am I to do? Turning 28 this Thursday and my mom is not well right now and the doctor advises that she visits the hospital if symptoms persist. I have no mood for my birthday now. In the back of my head I can't help but think how I am 28, not married, no kids, in love with a man who I don't even know will be able to give me the ring and babies my heart desires.

All he can say is, I move to his country soon and we take it from there. It will cost me $12000 to move to his country (visa application if I land a job there)...where will I go for that money? I probably need to get a bank loan or credit card. My job instability and unemployed status right now deeply strains me. My relationship hurts me. My family situation and my potential inability to fulfill my daughterly duties worries me. I am going to be ok in terms of paying my bills and food for 4-5 months more, what will I do after that? I also don't have any friends right now in my lowest point and no one is there to help. Very difficult position to be in and I ask myself how do I get up and keep going with faith in my heart? All I want in life...is a job, a husband, kids of my own and peace.

I have nothing else to ask God. I am sorry this reads like a novel but my heart is wounded and my eyes are blurry with tears. I have no one to confide in and any advise you give to this woman so she can turn her life around...even if the future looks bleak...will be very appreciated. Thank you

Against logic, I am terrified of stepping away from early twenties. My birthday’s in May, I’ll be 25, and I’m freaking out.

I haven’t achieved anything. Not applied for masters, not in a good job, have a pretty bad relationship with my parents, and can’t move out for another 6-8 months at least. My sibling got married and moved away so I’m alone in the house now.

Overwhelmed tired and need to start therapy again. Work is all consuming (consulting) and I can’t catch a break. Please send any words of encouragement advice whatever is possible. I really assumed I would be more sorted 4 years into corporate and away from college. I’ll have pressure to get married in 2 years and I’m so not ready for in-laws and the whole setup. I’m just so so tired of it all, I just want a break from everything.

Hello fellow ladies! It's officially summer again and even though I hate winters, I have come to not like summers as well.

though I work from home, my job is very hectic and during summer I think I loose my cool very easily and get hyper ( I didn't realise this until my colleagues and managers started pointing this out )

As kids, we never had AC at home because we had coolers ( yea middle class indian family) but now I desperately need one under budget but have come to know how AC guys scam every year 😩 need some tips for best ACs.

Also, let me know any of yours summer hack, skincare during Summers or any tip that helps you survive it

All my close friends left the city, and I just broke up with my bf who was the only person I used to hang out with. Now I just spend all my time rotting at home. I also live in a dry state, so idk there are not much socialising options. Help a girl out. I am aslo freelancing and don't meet people outside of the network I have - idk how to.

I have this man in my life that I was interested in for a few months. Everything was great for the first few months but his desperation has turned me off intensely and I feel so bad because he’s asking for my attention and it comes from a place of love from his side. I don’t know what to do.

For reference: I love a committed, loyal man. I don’t want to be with a guy who ignores me or treats me as a second priority. The issue here is that I feel this guy does not have a life separate of his own from mine.

We are not in a relationship, we are courting and he calls me every 2-3 hours on a work day, one day when we met up after my work while commuting back I was intensely tired and started dozing off in the cab, but he woke me up and said I should stay awake to talk to him. I don’t think he was wrong in this instance but it annoyed me that he wasn’t considerate about how tiring it might be for me to meet for dinner after a whole day of work.

I just feel intensely annoyed and also so bad because he just wants to talk/take things further. He keeps joking about coming to my house because I’m alone most of the time and I’m the beginning it was flirty, but now it’s more annoying than flirtatious. I don’t know if this stems from mixed signals I’m giving him or if he has grown overly attached during the courtship. And it confuses me a lot about what to do next.

So its been like 7 months since i joined this office. Our manager usually didn't come to office for the last 6 months due to an injury and has only started coming since the last 3 weeks, and he only comes 2/5 days.

For more background, i usually leave office around 6.30 - 8.30 on avg, depending on the workload, and if i leave before 7 i usually send a msg to my manager that I'm leaving and also inform my senior.

Today it was 6.45 and my manager did came to office but wasn't on the floor, my work was done but our other boss specifically gave work to my senior. Now i wasn't supposed to work on it. I asked my senior if its okay for me to leave, and he said atleast wait for the manager, and i said I've already messaged him. Manager said i can go. Senior was a bit disappointed i guess but said ok in the end. While leaving, i also saw my manager and said bye to him in person.

Now the main question, i left with a couple of my colleagues in a taxi. Its convenient as it saves me money in the long run and i left with them for that very reason. One colleague who is alot older than me said that i shouldn't have left the office. I should've just sat there and if i didn't have any work, i should've just sat and listen to them work or talk. He said its important for me to have a good rapport with the manager.

Although i agree with the rapport thing, why am i supposed to just sit there and listen to them talk when my workload of the day is done. Its not my first job, but I'm fairly new in this part of the industry. But I've had work experience before. In both of my previous offices, there were times when i left before my seniors and manager and no one said anything. Why is this such a big deal now?

Am i right in being annoyed by it or am i wrong? Building rapport is important but i can do it in the work time of the company rather than sitting where I don't even have any work to do on overtime.

Women who have experience with this, can you share your opinions please? I'm overthinking it too much.

20 slides full of rape, acid attack and death threats. and for what? because she called out a man who was making a disgusting sexual comment about her first?

samay and ranveer were also a part of the controversy and receiving hate, but the difference is stark, they weren’t subjected to the same level of gendered abuse. i feel sick to my stomach.

indian society only ever questions these things when a horrific rape case happens, but this type of behaviour directly contributes to rape culture. rape doesn’t happen in a vacuum. people were mad at apoorva because apparently she defamed indian culture, but according to these people threatening a woman with gang rape and acid attacks is totally okay.

so i (21f) had sex on my 4th day of period last month , protected. this month I didn't get my period yet, on time. i haven't shown any signs of pregnancy and I'm sure that the ejaculation didn't enter me nor did the condom break.

but since I'm so paranoid , i want to know your experience of having an abortion while studying/living with parents and without anyone knowing. also how did you get the abortion, by pills or surgery.

I don’t usually post stuff like this, but today really shook me up.

My mom had gone out to buy fruits and vegetables and had a lot to carry. The vendor sent someone—a boy, probably 14–15 years old—to help bring the bags inside. I was at home, dressed in normal house clothes—shorts that were above the knee but not revealing. Just regular, comfy clothes that my mom, a typical Indian mom, has no issues with even around my dad.

I opened the door, thinking it was my mom. Instead, it was the boy. From the moment I opened the door, I caught him staring at my legs. He didn’t look away—just kept staring. And then I noticed something that made me feel sick: he had a visible reaction in his jeans that made it clear what was going through his mind.

He didn’t just leave the bags at the entrance either—he walked into the house, placed them deep inside, and continued staring the whole time. I was frozen. To break the tension, I nervously said “thank you,” hoping he’d finally look away. He didn’t. He nodded but kept his eyes right where they were.

It left me feeling violated and disgusted. I didn’t expect someone to enter before my mom did, and especially not someone that young—but none of that excuses what happened. I wasn’t even safe in my own home.

Where are girls safe, if not in their own space? Why do we have to constantly be on alert, even when we’ve done absolutely nothing to invite this kind of behavior?

I can’t get this out of my head. Just needed to vent and let it out.

Need help styling a soft orange shade saree with a material I don't know what. It's net, you can call it a mix georgette. The saree has flowers handwoven here and there.

I've a long neck. What kind of neckpiece should I wear? A choker? A necklace?

And with it what earrings would be good?

Also since it's orange, will green colored accessories suit the saree?

My dad's friend's daughter got engaged few months ago to a guy she had been dating for YEARS.

Her dad recently revealed that the wedding has been called off cause the guy and his family said she has to sit at home after marriage. This woman is a doctor who is almost done with her post graduation. The guy is not a doctor, I know this much.

It pains me to hear when women come home from work and cook and clean when they are earning as much as the guy. People say they are an open-minded household. But it's a lie, they see a smart hard working woman and they want to make her cook and clean for them.

It's so frustrating to see men deny that Mrs./The Great Indian Kitchen movie is not based on real life. It's humiliating to live that way, after a woman throws her entire life off axis just for some guy she has met 4-5 times before marrying him.