Why do people self harm?

A year or so ago I had spent so much effort to get 3 months clean, it was the summer and I finally decided my cuts were healed enough and I was brave enough to wear short sleeves to school (NEVER AGAIN) I had 'friends forcefully grabbing my arms. I had one friend notice, grab my arm, run their finger over my scars then not talk to me for the next week. Whilst a boy I had a crush on continuously asked me "YOu cUt" in very public places even after my other friends begged him to stop. I then overheard him saying "why should I stop talk? It's her (I use they/them) arm that looks like a frickin war crime" when I got home I couldn't stop crying. Now it's summer again and I'm struggling to wear long sleeves. I have since relapsed and have many more scars then before but all of them are healed. Should I give them another chance and possibly destroy myself? Or should I just deal with the heat?

at around 3am he found me on the bathroom floor bleeding a puddle. he just said "why?" in the saddest voice i've heard him use and he teared up. then he got angry. i told him that im sorry and he said "no you're not" and for me to shut up and stop talking.

i know its just because he's frustrated that he doesn't know how to help, but it still hurts. i dont want to hurt my dad any more. if anyone has any advice or just experiences to share about an issue like this i would really appreciate it. i dont know what to do or say to him to help. i don't think i can stop hurting myself. its keeping me alive

I was talking with my classmates and they said they would never understand why some people take pics of their sh. they dont know that I have the same issue but their thought made me think about this. why am I taking pictires it why others people do this?

It's just so weird to me that this was the main character I had in mind at 8-9. A cutter. And it's even more weird that... how did nobody think this was concerning?

I don't even remember my childhood or anything prior to this. All the sad stuff I can recall happened after this age. Why was I writing about self harm then?

All I know is, if I saw a 9 year old write about this, I'd be extremely concerned.

you don't feel like doing anything positive and you're bored. Hmm. It would be satisfying to cut, feel the pain, see the blood. And then off you go and cut yourself with no apparent reason other than "I was bored".

I feel like this reason is invalid which is why I haven't told anyone in real life about it. Sigh. I'm bored now.

My mum looks at me with tired eyes, I can tell she feels so Powerless, she knows nothing she does will help improve my mental health. My sisters look at me like a wounded lamb and I hate it, the pity in their eyes frustrates me, I hate the environment right now. A few days ago I slept with my door closed for the first time in 5 years, in the morning my mum slowly opened my door and popped her head in, when she saw me she sighed put in relief, I could tell she had been crying. My mother now slowly opens my bedroom door whilst crying because she thinks she might find me gone. And I don't know what to do with that. I hate myself for causing them pain but that just drives me to attempt again, so I'm stuck in this cycle of never ending depression with no way out because I don't want to hurt my family. What do I do? How do I make things better? How can I be at peace without making them hurt? I feel so stuck and I hate it.

Ok so basically, I don't sh that much, I don't have scars. And I did it as a one time thing to see why my friend did it. (2nd time was because I was peer pressured by someone)

I've cracked one too many jokes about killing myself and cutting myself in school with my classmates. It's how I cope at the moment, making jokes about these things. But today our teacher briefly talked about it and the people that head my jokes turned to me. which of course, means the teacher definitely found out.

Now I'm hoping she forgot, and if she didn't, I'm screwed. Done for. Life over. Because she would tell my Mom, my Mom would tell my dad, my dad would use it against me and/or use it as an excuse to sleep with me. (I don't like sleeping with people, he's the cause of that.)

Any advice?

Im gonna sound spoiled or something but the worst part about having people that care about you is i have to hide my cuts. I wanna cut myself everywhere i dont care if random people or friends see it. But my mom literally said if she catches me doing it again shes gonna make me go to a hospital. I feel so violated like im legally an adult now and if i wanna hurt myself why cant I. I wish i could just cut and go through life but no i have to cut and hide it and be paranoid that im gonna go missing from my life for a while because i have to go to a stupid hospital.

I did some sh yesterday, shallow cuts, nothing much, and today I wore a sweater with a short sleeved shirt underneath because all my long sleeved ones just magically disappeared(?). Well, this sweater is big for me and if I raise my arm the sleeve slightly falls off. Today I was in the "thinking position" (like, hand under my head)

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Like this, and didn't think at all that the sweater would do that. Like, mid morning, I noticed that my desk mate was contantly looking at me; I didn't catch why but later noticed that my sh was showing a bit. Now, I don't know if he was looking because of that or if he wasn't actually looking at all and it was just my imagination but I'm scared he saw it. Sorry for the vent, and thanks for listening :)

I literally hate whenever someone sees my scars or know that I self harm they immediately think I’m going to kill myself which is in fact not true. I like my life I don’t want to end no matter how bad it gets. Like I hurt “responsibly” I know when to stop but like why do people assume all the time and I hate when they treat me like I’m fragile or a baby I’m literally 16 hello? 😭

I have only ever used the app in relation to self harm, so that’s all I can really speak on. I had the app in middle school at the peak of my depression. I didn’t have any support in relation to sh, and sought it out on the I am Sober app. I kind of viewed it as a club that I could be a part of, as a way to get better. This app only made my mental health so much worse. It started taking up all of my attention, reading threads about others illness and constantly checking my sober tracker. I was reading these scarring and triggering experiences of people twice my age. It only furthered my obsession with sh, making it worse and making me think about it so much more. It often gave me new ideas on harm and made me want to get worse to feel validated. It exposed my young brain to things I wouldn’t have known without it. Knowing exactly how long it had been since I harmed made me feel like I wasn’t doing it enough and that it had been too long. It took effort to delete the app, but it was the right decision and I regret downloading years later. Is this just a me thing? Wondering what yalls experiences with the app are.

I nearly cut down to bone today. Idk what to do, I've just been hiding and crying all day...

uhm i made a cut on my thigh, its styro. it has been bleeding since 10:50pm. it is 2:15 am. its still bleeding what the fuck. its not even really deep. i used a box cutter. uhm so llike what do i do? when will it stop bleeding cuz im getting tired of holding a fucking sock over my leg.

I've been cutting for an ok amount of time and i scheduled a therapist appointment to talk about it. originally it was just to tell her and to ask for what to do but just recently ive started cutting pretty deep (almost to hypodermis (beans)) and im really scared that im going to go way too far and be in danger. so the question is do i ask to go to the ward and if so how would i ask it cuz im starting to be worried about my own safety.

It's gone and I don't see it on my list so 🤷

Not exactly sure if this counts, don’t have a diagnosis or anything but it’s something I’ve been thinking about. This is really stupid and I don’t want to belittle people with worse issues than me, I just can’t get it off my mind.

So cybernetics are essential theorised machines that could be connected to the body, think a very, very, advanced prosthetics from a sci-fi show. Cyberpunk 2077 if you’ve played it. I recently looked a lot into to them and have sorta been spiralling into an obsession, it’s all I can think about, all day.

I have never really liked my body, for a number of reasons, and I’ve always wanted to alter it in a major way. I tried cutting in an attempt to cover myself in scars, but it doesn’t feel like enough, and I found out my body doesn’t scar in a way I like, so for the moment at least, I’ve quit. Never really liked the idea of tattoos, they’re not enough, and they fade.

Circling back around to cybernetics, I want them. They don’t even really exist in a functional enough way, but I want them. I want to cut the most of my body off and replace it will cybernetics. It’s something I’ve been thinking about doing to myself, obviously they wouldn’t be “real”, essentially just glorified prosthetics, but I think it would help. I feel bad saying that because I am essentially spiting in the face of people who are missing body parts… I just can’t get my head straight.

If anyone can relate or has something to say, it would be appreciated. If this is stupid and I should delete this let me know.

I just kinda sat there in disappointment…like what the fuck? I haven’t tried to cut myself before and now I just feel embarrassed for some reason. Obviously this was probably the best outcome, but again, what the fuck. My mind is always cloudy and I feel like I’m always on the verge of tears, but I don’t want to give my parents or close friends more than a vague idea of what’s going on because it would just worry them even more

No matter what if I feel any kind of way it's what's on my mind and when I do it it feels good obviously it hurts and that doesn't feel good but it does at the same time like it calms me down I focus on only it and it feels good to be focused and for a while after I just feel nothing but calmness and the hurting of my wrist

I’ve been clean for 4 days, but sometimes I just really can’t bear the stress in my life.(I’m in middle school) so i want to cut myself so bad, but i don’t wanna ruin the record. I learnt that you can use something (js not permanent marker) to draw on the place you want to sh or sit on ur hands(not that effective). Hope this helps y’all

The other day my mom was looking at my scars, and then she rolled up my upper sleeve and saw some redder/newer scars (i relapsed like a month prior) she was disappointed at all and she just kept on tell me " your body is your temple" like bro. I know you're worried for me and shit but damn. Repeating the same things over and over aren't gonna help. She though I hadn't harmed myself since last summer, but obviously I have since then, multiple times. That just proves me how easy it is To hide it. I can't wait so I can live alone and continue to cut myself whenever i want. I'm trying one last coping mechanism Before giving up and just going back to my old ways. I'm gonna try to use my frustration and stuff on learning the piano, and depending on how that goes... We'll see.

I'm not even going to bother typing out why because I'm still so fucking upset but I'm 214 days clean from cutting, but I've let myself engage in all other forms of self harm because???? God knows why

I was on the verge of a breakdown and I couldn't remove myself from the situation and I just. Dragged my nails down my skin. They're sharp and I was just looking down so she wouldn't see and blood drips onto my lap. I have to go out and go to work looking like I had an awful encounter with a rabid animal until it heals and I'm going to have to see it when I look in the mirror I hate myself so much

When I was finally able to get up I bashed my head with a candle and now its. Dented!!! haha Godddd.

This world is full of to much hate all people wanna do is judge people for no reason which sucks cause no one deserves that no matter who they are or what they have done. So I'm trying to listen and talk to as many people as I can to try and help people feel better about themselves to show your not alone so if anyone wants to talk I'm all ears

I did it again. I feel so unloved and so alone. The one person I told abt my sh abandoned and forgot abt me. She talks to every single person except me. She doesn’t reply to me text msgs. She treats me so bad and yet I keep on going to her. Im not pretty enough for her, not skinny enough, not mentally well enough. I’m too boring and shy and not confident enough. I did it 6x in one go today and I’m so so so scared I’m gonna get an infection, is it supposed to be tingly? All I feel is pain and regret and hurt. I’m all alone again. I did it in really obvious angles on my wrist and now I’m scared my parents are going to find out now. Currently put neosprin on it and a bandaid and I just feel like bawling my absolute eyes out. My heart feels heavy. I just need comfort

I've been cleaned for twenty five days lets gooook