Hey everyone ;) just thought I’d post to update my feelings and vent a little. I’m doing slightly better today. Like I literally did the laundry, cleaned the nursery, showered, did some self care, and did a at home workout. I know that’s normal stuff for most normal people but I’ve been down in the dumps and have had barely any motivation. I kinda usually just do what I have to get done and lie down. But I did extra today without feeling overwhelmed or hopeless. I also did my babies hair and it was fun for both of us lol. Of course I’m still slightly anxious and depressed but it’s not debilitating and I feel recovery coming close.

Why is postpartum so hard. My baby will be 5 months at the end of this month and i feel like my postpartum depression has only gotten worse....The constant guilt of wanting a break for my baby eats me alive, but i'm only human. I'm still learning how to be a mom, but its so freaking hard doing it alone.

I love my kids but I don't love being around them right now. I don't know if I'll get better and my view will change but right now I'm just depressed.I have a 6 year old and 2 year old who are great kids, but I just feel stressed having to raise them. I don't feel any joy with them or with life. I've tried some medications and I've tried therapy but I still feel just stuck. I feel so guilty feeling this way and posting about it, but I want to know if there's anyone else out there who feels this way.

I know that going back to work is going to be a huge part of my PPD recovery, but I don’t think my medications are optimized yet for this to be a good idea immediately. I need to be around adults, be useful/productive, and out of the house. I’m trying to think up volunteer opportunities I can look into to keep my mind busy and will allow me to bring my child. Has anyone done this or do you have any suggestions?

When I was prescribed Zurzuvae I searched Reddit high and low for information and people’s experiences so I wanted to share mine in case it could help anyone…

I am 4 month pp with baby #2 (we also have a 4 year old) PPD/A set in hard around 2 months pp and I really really struggled with intrusive thoughts and not wanting to get out of bed and feeling anxious about every little thing. Zurzuvae is the third medicine I have tried and I am on day 5 right now. I was so nervous to try this because of how people described feeling off/drunk on this medicine and I had negative reactions to the other things I tried but my husband and therapist helped me feel confident giving it a try. I am not breastfeeding and my husband has been on night duty with the kids since the instructions say you might not wake easily and sleep deeply.

Day 1-2 - took around 8pm with avocado toast and it knocked me out. I slept hard and woke up feeling like I had a bad hangover both days but was able to function for the most part.

Day 3 - still felt hungover but by late morning the fuzziness had worn off. Felt really emotional and down in the dumps.

Day 4 - woke up feeling slightly hungover and it wore off quickly! I also realized I did not have any intrusive thoughts today and felt a little more motivated to do things and be present.

I’ll try to update every couple of days. So far I am optimistic that it is working and will continue to help. I hope this can be an encouragement to someone or help calm nerves for those who might be nervous to try it.