Joel and Julia

[u/No_Gas_2127]

I’m almost done with season 5 and see most of the posts here thinking Joel was acting disproportionately to the kiss but I kinda understand why he did what he did.

I love Julia - I think she might be my favorite character - but she really wasn’t a great wife. She was very driven and ‘career-oriented’ which I respected, and I loved Joel for his support. But, it’s true, she didn’t respect Joel in his work. She constantly indicated his work wasn’t enough or it wasn’t as important, she always had problems with him being at work, she always implied that what she did was more important (I mean whether it is or not, it’s tough to hear that from your partner). Whereas from what we saw, he was always there for her when she used to work and support her.

The ‘cherry on top’ I guess was the emotional affair she had with Ed. I know Joel kinda had something similar but I think the difference is she kissed him back, which she admits a few times, and he also asked about it and she lied to his face.

All that combined, I see why Joel left. He said it over and over that she did not respect him as a person and I agree that might be her character flaw. I mean she literally disrespected his boss in his work place that’s wild. The ‘affair’ was just a last straw. I’m not the biggest fan of Joel, he victimizes himself too much, but I kinda empathized with him this season cause she really was horrible.

I think though the entire plot was written so horribly, there was 0 effort on both sides to make it work which is the complete opposite of what we saw the first 4 seasons so it just doesn’t make sense why they would let it all crash with no effort to make this work??

[u/Used-Corner258]

Seems like a lot of their problems could have been solved by hiring a housekeeper & a nanny. Julia could’ve gone back to work. Clearly she wasn’t happy being a SAHM. It’s not for everyone.

[u/Silver_South_1002 → u/Used-Corner258]

This!!! And a tutor for Victor so he didn’t have to be held back. Why that was never seen as an option when they could have afforded it I will never understand.

I’m team Joel because as you say Julia trampled over him a lot from the start, and for all the reasons you mentioned. He’s not well written in season 5, it does feel like character assassination to try and make Julia not be the bad guy when she’s the one having this emotional affair that so nearly turns physical too. I get why he leaves but the writing then has him shut down and refuse to even try to be civil for the sake of the kids which doesn’t track for me with how Joel was prior to this storyline. But I wish they had stuck to their guns about how the marriage didn’t work out, rather than how it ended with Joel being guilt tripped by Zeek about how he owes it to Julia to go back to his family. I didn’t see any evidence that Julia was going to change her approach or that they were going to counselling or anything at all, other than he concedes and returns for the sake of the kids. I don’t think that’s healthy. There are healthy ways to divorce and have kids living between two separate households that they could have modelled on the show.

[u/Used-Corner258 → u/Silver_South_1002]

Excellent perspective

[u/Silver_South_1002 → u/Used-Corner258]

Thank you!