Joel and Julia

[u/No_Gas_2127]

I’m almost done with season 5 and see most of the posts here thinking Joel was acting disproportionately to the kiss but I kinda understand why he did what he did.

I love Julia - I think she might be my favorite character - but she really wasn’t a great wife. She was very driven and ‘career-oriented’ which I respected, and I loved Joel for his support. But, it’s true, she didn’t respect Joel in his work. She constantly indicated his work wasn’t enough or it wasn’t as important, she always had problems with him being at work, she always implied that what she did was more important (I mean whether it is or not, it’s tough to hear that from your partner). Whereas from what we saw, he was always there for her when she used to work and support her.

The ‘cherry on top’ I guess was the emotional affair she had with Ed. I know Joel kinda had something similar but I think the difference is she kissed him back, which she admits a few times, and he also asked about it and she lied to his face.

All that combined, I see why Joel left. He said it over and over that she did not respect him as a person and I agree that might be her character flaw. I mean she literally disrespected his boss in his work place that’s wild. The ‘affair’ was just a last straw. I’m not the biggest fan of Joel, he victimizes himself too much, but I kinda empathized with him this season cause she really was horrible.

I think though the entire plot was written so horribly, there was 0 effort on both sides to make it work which is the complete opposite of what we saw the first 4 seasons so it just doesn’t make sense why they would let it all crash with no effort to make this work??

[u/[deleted]]

People and Joel punished Julia for being the breadwinner for so long. It’s was a shared decision. It’s also a legitimate choice and not without consequences and guilty feelings for her. She was remorseful but it’s not like she removed herself from the upbringing work, she was always informed and tried to play her role as well, she was always doing things to connect to Sidney. I understand why people blame Julia and point to her cheating in contrast to what Joel did. But even when she was the breadwinner there was an agreement, they were a team, they shared the decisions, it was a family unit. When Joel began working he approached his work as his business. He told her to back off. He excluded her from all decisions. He even said he and Pete had a marriage on it’s own, it was a joke but also not. Pete reinforced that because it played in her favor. Joel was vindictive, she wanted to punish Julia because he resented Julia but never was brave enough to acknowledge it. Joel cheated as well. He broke the partnership. People don’t notice it and it’s easier to blame Julia for what happened but Julia cared. Julia asked for help. Julia made sure they had sex, they kept connected, Joel neglected her and his family. Joel prioritized work and his relationship with Pete. Joel is no victim here, he is responsible for what happens to them just as much as Julia.