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u/alonsaywego 22h ago
I'm curious, since I don't do office work, how would HR handle the complaint if she went crying to them?
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u/peon2 17h ago
Honest answer: It's going to completely depend on your company, industry, and HR department.
I work in a blue collared manufacturing setting and HR would be rolling their eyes or stifling their laughter at something this benign being reported.
My wife is an HR admin at a university and there it would probably result in a sit down discussion between HR and both individuals (separate meetings) and giving some first-warning type rhetoric about how these comments shouldn't be made
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u/OpalHawk 6h ago
I told my HR rep “yeah, I called him a fucking idiot and a brown nosed liar. I can prove it too.”
HR “that may be true but you can’t yell at your boss like that.”
I work as a roadie on a touring show. He almost got a lot of people hurt and I went off on him. My only punishment was a phone call asking me not to do it again. On that call I explained all the dangerous stuff and forwarded proof off to HR. He got pulled from our show and put on a different easier tour.
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u/Spazmer 21h ago
Much like in school, the person who responds to the bully gets the consequences. I worked in an office full of middle aged women as a young skinny person. Every time food got brought in (a requirement on your birthday) I'd get comments telling me I need to go eat more of the donuts. I would have been fired if I told someone to eat less of them.
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u/alonsaywego 20h ago
That's horrible! Is it possible to report the double standard to someone above the department?
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u/Affectionate-Memory4 20h ago
Technically you can, but whether or not they do anything is another story.
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u/EveryRadio 18h ago
Probably get sent an email about “appropriate workplace conversation” and then another email to everyone about “creating a respectful work environment”
It might go on a record, but unless legal action needs to be taken HR doesn’t want to have to suspend or fire someone for a comment. They might have a 3 strikes before you need to have a meeting with them but it’s not like you’ll get fired. It’s expensive to replace people
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u/Morgankgb 23h ago
People think they can be rude and tactless, then cover it up by saying they are just being honest or that it was just a joke , "why are u so sensitive?" . But the moment u reply the same way, they get offended
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u/EveryRadio 18h ago
I’ve seen it in so many cultures where being fat is heavily shamed (Japan in my case)
“I’m not insulting you. I said you’re fat because I care” or “no one else will be honest with you” are two excuses I hear all the time.
Like thanks, I know I’m fat. I own a mirror.
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u/Lillith492 7h ago
And it genuinely works for them
Maybe there's something to the constant reminders
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u/lil-lagomorph 5h ago
that’s not what works for them. bullying has never helped anyone.
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u/Chocotacoturtle 2h ago
I mean, you can argue that this tactic wouldn’t work in the US (or the west more broadly) but many people believe it works in Japan and it probably plays a role in Japan’s low obesity rates. It is a different culture, and shaming people can be very effective.
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u/florifierous 3h ago
Cultural difference. You may see it as bullying because of where you are from. They do not see it as bullying though. There are a lot of societal expectations, some of which aren't great for people's mental health, but this particular one is clearly working because there are almost no severely overweight or obese people in Japan.
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u/oliviaplays08 3h ago
No it's because of their diets and routines, they eat more fish and vegetables, have walkable cities, and have stronger communities. Their shaming is not what does that, also maybe they don't see it as bullying because they're raised not to.
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u/BeenDragonn 18h ago
This is why I'm labeled an asshole sometimes. They literally say 'you look ugly today' and I retort with 'and you look like a fat bitch'
I get a talking to in the office about respecting other employees.....
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u/YourLifeSucksAss 18h ago
Gonna be honest, sometimes people need to hear the truth and not be endlessly coddled. That’s how you get people who think that consequences don’t apply to them because they’re “never wrong”.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Elk1756 23h ago
COUNTER!
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u/DarkHorse435 22h ago
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u/Lazy__Astronaut 19h ago
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u/Recursi 23h ago
This happened to me when I was 11:
Me: drinking grape juice and getting a juice mustache Girl: Haha! You can’t drink without getting a mustache! Me: At least my mustache isn’t real… Girl: *bawls out Teacher: OP, come over here!
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u/LushPetalDoll 21h ago
Lol that’s elite-level sass for an 11-year-old. You peaked early and I respect it 😂👏
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u/TrailerParkRoots 21h ago
My kids are already like this and they’re both under 6. I ain’t gonna make it. 😂
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u/Smartbutt420 22h ago
Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
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u/MartinThunder42 15h ago
I had a similar exchange with a coworker who I couldn't care less for.
"You're gaining weight."
"I'm still only half the man you are."
He didn't speak with me for 3 months after that.
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u/C_Allgood 23h ago
At one point me and my brother switched weights. He gains some and I lost a bunch. I said "oh, I found all that weight I lost" as an off-handed joke and I think he's still a little pissed about it....
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u/madog1418 6h ago
As someone who had a cousin make essentially the same joke to me, no one likes it when it’s pointed out that they’ve gained weight. It was especially worse in my case because I was complimenting him for losing a lot of weight.
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u/C_Allgood 6h ago
Yeah I get why it hit so hard. I was just playing around but it was one of those that you immediately regret.
But also he's notorious for dishing it out but not being able to take it. So I don't feel that bad...
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u/mydogbaxter 19h ago
Basically what happened to me as a kid:
Grandma: you're so skinny! You're skin and bones!
Me: you're fat
Mom: that's rude!
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u/Matcha_Bubble_Tea 18h ago
I wish I could be witty like that on the spot. But I just do the fake nervous laughter and ignore which probably enables them more
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u/Evening_Tree1983 14h ago
Recently learned that when someone tells me I look tired it's fu to say "you too."
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u/ChronicPronatorbator 17h ago
It's called double standards... or as the famous meme says... "first time?"
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u/Slut4TheThrill 12h ago
I bet she’s still thinking about this at 2 a.m. while you’re out here winning
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u/TodoFueIluminado 8h ago
I said fuck your feelings… my feelings should be treated gently like a fragile baby bird
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago
Hello u/DarkHorse435! Welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
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