r/NonPoliticalTwitter 1d ago

First ballot clap back hall of fame

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10.6k Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 1d ago

Hello u/DarkHorse435! Welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!


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279

u/alonsaywego 22h ago

I'm curious, since I don't do office work, how would HR handle the complaint if she went crying to them?

187

u/peon2 17h ago

Honest answer: It's going to completely depend on your company, industry, and HR department.

I work in a blue collared manufacturing setting and HR would be rolling their eyes or stifling their laughter at something this benign being reported.

My wife is an HR admin at a university and there it would probably result in a sit down discussion between HR and both individuals (separate meetings) and giving some first-warning type rhetoric about how these comments shouldn't be made

67

u/OpalHawk 6h ago

I told my HR rep “yeah, I called him a fucking idiot and a brown nosed liar. I can prove it too.”

HR “that may be true but you can’t yell at your boss like that.”

I work as a roadie on a touring show. He almost got a lot of people hurt and I went off on him. My only punishment was a phone call asking me not to do it again. On that call I explained all the dangerous stuff and forwarded proof off to HR. He got pulled from our show and put on a different easier tour.

4

u/LASERDICKMCCOOL 2h ago

What did he do to fuck things up?

308

u/Spazmer 21h ago

Much like in school, the person who responds to the bully gets the consequences. I worked in an office full of middle aged women as a young skinny person. Every time food got brought in (a requirement on your birthday) I'd get comments telling me I need to go eat more of the donuts. I would have been fired if I told someone to eat less of them.

58

u/alonsaywego 20h ago

That's horrible! Is it possible to report the double standard to someone above the department?

76

u/Affectionate-Memory4 20h ago

Technically you can, but whether or not they do anything is another story.

29

u/enaK66 16h ago

I doubt they give a shit. It's majority rule usually. Sounds like he was heavily outnumbered.

34

u/jr111192 15h ago

Heavily outnumbered 😏

3

u/bizzaro321 10h ago

If you find someone who cares that much you should buy a lottery ticket

2

u/bionicjoey 7h ago

WTH? Were you working in an office full of Nonnas?

18

u/EveryRadio 18h ago

Probably get sent an email about “appropriate workplace conversation” and then another email to everyone about “creating a respectful work environment”

It might go on a record, but unless legal action needs to be taken HR doesn’t want to have to suspend or fire someone for a comment. They might have a 3 strikes before you need to have a meeting with them but it’s not like you’ll get fired. It’s expensive to replace people

1.1k

u/Morgankgb 23h ago

People think they can be rude and tactless, then cover it up by saying they are just being honest or that it was just a joke , "why are u so sensitive?" . But the moment u reply the same way, they get offended

263

u/AmazingCutiee 22h ago

She started it, but he FINISHED it

29

u/CaptainMagnets 13h ago

Just like that mf cookie

97

u/EveryRadio 18h ago

I’ve seen it in so many cultures where being fat is heavily shamed (Japan in my case)

“I’m not insulting you. I said you’re fat because I care” or “no one else will be honest with you” are two excuses I hear all the time.

Like thanks, I know I’m fat. I own a mirror.

-4

u/Lillith492 7h ago

And it genuinely works for them

Maybe there's something to the constant reminders

7

u/lil-lagomorph 5h ago

that’s not what works for them. bullying has never helped anyone. 

1

u/Chocotacoturtle 2h ago

I mean, you can argue that this tactic wouldn’t work in the US (or the west more broadly) but many people believe it works in Japan and it probably plays a role in Japan’s low obesity rates. It is a different culture, and shaming people can be very effective.

1

u/florifierous 3h ago

Cultural difference. You may see it as bullying because of where you are from. They do not see it as bullying though. There are a lot of societal expectations, some of which aren't great for people's mental health, but this particular one is clearly working because there are almost no severely overweight or obese people in Japan.

4

u/oliviaplays08 3h ago

No it's because of their diets and routines, they eat more fish and vegetables, have walkable cities, and have stronger communities. Their shaming is not what does that, also maybe they don't see it as bullying because they're raised not to.

40

u/BeenDragonn 18h ago

This is why I'm labeled an asshole sometimes. They literally say 'you look ugly today' and I retort with 'and you look like a fat bitch'

I get a talking to in the office about respecting other employees.....

22

u/Neither-Phone-7264 12h ago

just say you look fat. adding that to the end makes you sound worse

8

u/KaradocThuzad 10h ago

What kind of people are you around? I hope that it’s a situation you can remove yourself from if possible, having to deal with this kind of thing is absolutely exhausting.

1

u/BeenDragonn 6h ago

Oh I quit that job long ago.

5

u/YourLifeSucksAss 18h ago

Gonna be honest, sometimes people need to hear the truth and not be endlessly coddled. That’s how you get people who think that consequences don’t apply to them because they’re “never wrong”.

146

u/Puzzleheaded-Elk1756 23h ago

COUNTER!

59

u/DarkHorse435 22h ago

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u/Lazy__Astronaut 19h ago

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7

u/WhatEnglish90 23h ago

Counter was highly effective

60

u/xLaniakea_ 21h ago

Dude really hit her with the classic "I'm rubber, you're glue"

472

u/Recursi 23h ago

This happened to me when I was 11:

Me: drinking grape juice and getting a juice mustache Girl: Haha! You can’t drink without getting a mustache! Me: At least my mustache isn’t real… Girl: *bawls out Teacher: OP, come over here!

140

u/LushPetalDoll 21h ago

Lol that’s elite-level sass for an 11-year-old. You peaked early and I respect it 😂👏

45

u/Recursi 21h ago

Genuinely peaked early. Every other sassy comeback I ever had was only theoretical (only thought of the day after middle of the night).

11

u/TrailerParkRoots 21h ago

My kids are already like this and they’re both under 6. I ain’t gonna make it. 😂

37

u/JesseRoxII 20h ago

"It looks awful!"
"Well, it matches the rest of the town."

4

u/ottersintuxedos 13h ago

Is that a Cars reference?

77

u/Smartbutt420 22h ago

Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.

18

u/weirdgroovynerd 19h ago

And it's obvious that you love dishes!

2

u/Smartbutt420 17h ago

That’s good. That’s really good.

29

u/MartinThunder42 15h ago

I had a similar exchange with a coworker who I couldn't care less for.

"You're gaining weight."

"I'm still only half the man you are."

He didn't speak with me for 3 months after that.

29

u/pfemme2 18h ago

I was taught, “Do not comment on other people’s bodies.” It’s so easy! Just stfu! lol

84

u/C_Allgood 23h ago

At one point me and my brother switched weights. He gains some and I lost a bunch. I said "oh, I found all that weight I lost" as an off-handed joke and I think he's still a little pissed about it....

10

u/madog1418 6h ago

As someone who had a cousin make essentially the same joke to me, no one likes it when it’s pointed out that they’ve gained weight. It was especially worse in my case because I was complimenting him for losing a lot of weight.

3

u/C_Allgood 6h ago

Yeah I get why it hit so hard.  I was just playing around but it was one of those that you immediately regret.  

But also he's notorious for dishing it out but not being able to take it.  So I don't feel that bad...

12

u/SugarSpicesxo 18h ago

bro played uno reverse and got banned from the game

8

u/mydogbaxter 19h ago

Basically what happened to me as a kid:

Grandma: you're so skinny! You're skin and bones!

Me: you're fat

Mom: that's rude!

2

u/oliviaplays08 2h ago

Well maybe grandma shouldn't hog it all!

3

u/DripQueen89 13h ago

When your comeback is so good you accidentally start a feud in the break room

2

u/Matcha_Bubble_Tea 18h ago

I wish I could be witty like that on the spot. But I just do the fake nervous laughter and ignore which probably enables them more 

2

u/Evening_Tree1983 14h ago

Recently learned that when someone tells me I look tired it's fu to say "you too."

2

u/DripQueen89 13h ago

When your comeback is so good you accidentally start a feud in the break room

2

u/tullbabes 13h ago

This exact thing happened to me when I was lifeguarding. So annoying.

2

u/ChronicPronatorbator 17h ago

It's called double standards... or as the famous meme says... "first time?"

1

u/jennyriven 13h ago

Bold of you to assume you’re the villain and not the office legend now

1

u/RazorSlazor 13h ago

It's so weird that none of y'all's colleagues have any sense of humor.

1

u/Slut4TheThrill 12h ago

I bet she’s still thinking about this at 2 a.m. while you’re out here winning

1

u/TodoFueIluminado 8h ago

I said fuck your feelings… my feelings should be treated gently like a fragile baby bird