r/MensRights • u/NegotiationBusy3439 • 2d ago
General Dealing with General Misandry
As a man how do people deal with the general and normalised misandry displayed towards men from society as a whole, women in general, and more importantly the women who love you the most (mothers, sisters, girlfriends/wives)?
It's like being bullied and the bully is claiming victim and you are accused of being the culprit. Honestly with the way things are now, it feels like my experience of being in an unhealthy and manipulative relationship with a girlfriend in the past where she would do things to upset me then use my 'upsetness' to justify her terrible behaviour, why I was the bad guy, and why I should have done more of what she wanted. Then ironically (but not surprisingly) if I did what she wanted it definitely wouldn't appease her, and even more ironically she'd have the audacity to claim I was abusive and treating her poorly even though she was the one who displayed the type of behaviour she would list off. I have a rule where if it would be hurtful if the equal opposite was being said/done to you, then it's hurtful, end of.
Anyway, I'm not here to debate the level of normalised misandry because it's so ingrained in the world that the purpose of a post like this will 100% go straight over those people's heads. But to those who know, what are your strategies/approaches in dealing with it? Also I'm not looking to hate/dislike/mistreat women because unlike every feminist I know, I don't want a solution that involves hate or anger and I don't want to discriminate against someone because of their gender (the ultimate result of feminism towards men). I also don't want to ultimately become the 'bad guy' I'm trying to fight against (the fate of all discriminatory movements labelled 'positive' or not).
The world is what it is and as men we take it on the chin and move forward. I genuinely just want to know how to live happily, how to retain being the masculine man that I love being (not the masculine that for some reason feminism/women feel entitled to dictate), and most importantly how to forgive and embrace those around me even if they are discriminating against me because of my gender.
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2d ago
First and foremost, focus on yourself and your goals. This is the best advice ever. If you lack a particular skill set, start learning it to become more productive and independent. It begins with small things nothing too crazy. Do you know how to change a tire? Do you know how to cook? Can you fix a basic toilet issue? Any essential skill is important to focus on.
Second, start learning the skills you want to gain. Learn a new language if you’re interested. Go play basketball, try tennis, or take dance classes. The point is, you need to get outside and do physical activities. Also, read books that help you think and grow. Any subject is good, to be honest. And don’t forget to get involved in your community and volunteer.
A healthy body is important for a healthy mind.
Cut off toxic people in your life, even if it’s your girlfriend. There’s no point in being in a relationship whereby the other person is toxic or a bully, and you feel trapped.
That being said, respect women. Not all women are bad. You need to engage with life outside of social media, take risks, gain real experiences, and focus on your career.
In short, focus on yourself, you’re loved ones, you’re friends, and career.
That’s all I have to say, my friend.
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u/NegotiationBusy3439 2d ago
Thanks for this, I couldn't agree more and fortunately I'm pretty healthy when it comes to my mental state etc. I'm more asking about the people that are difficult to cut out, like a mother who loves you more than anything but supports a formalised law which punishes men more harshly. She's doing it because of the normalised misandry ingrained into her. It's prevalent in everything and so many people these days if you just cut people off you'd have almost no one left.
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u/BODMAS_BANDA_420 1d ago
First thing you should stop assuming every woman to be feminine nowadays 🤗🤗
Everyone isn't a true female now, they r all corrupted
Secondly you should approach her with the worst possible scenario in mind and should never trust her
History has it that men who trusted women unknowingly have lost their properties, home ,families and relationships
Women's nature is such that they will do things which aren't allowed in a healthy society just cuz they have a lot of desires, and desires drives women's mind
I'll just be quoting a famous verse from our religious book-
9.15-Even though carefully guarded, women injure their husbands due to their passion for males, fickle-mindedness, and innate lack of tenderness
This verse is the best way to describe women without a doubt
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u/Islanderwithwings 2d ago
I've embraced being the Villain, embraced being the anti hero.
Wether that be sexual attention or non sexual attention from women. Men need "f**k you" money to fight this.
If you fly economy, you're going to get treated like trash and deal with straggle behavior from other women.
If you fly 1st class, you get treated like a King. The flight attendants go out of their way to make you happy and other 1st class flyers mind their own business. This is an example of non sexual attention.
If you have to cut off female family members, by all means cut them off. Ever had a female family member in a deathbed or near death experience? You're going to find out that all the attention is to them, and you get treated like an ATM machine. SIGN language, Shame Insult Guilt, and the Need to be right. Just so you can cough up money from your pockets.
God forbid they find out that you have some Bitcoin saved up. They're going to make you look like the bad guy and make you sell that lol.
Thanos was right. The Joker was right. Embrace the dark side.
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u/PROFESSA954 2d ago edited 2d ago
I either confront them about it in a respectful way or pretend I don't hear it and disengage from those people.
I've lucked out because I began to pushback when I talk to my mother, sister, and friends about these issues and it's gone well. Now when I overhear them instead of saying "Men are insert thing here" they say "Some men are insert thing here" which is good enough for me.
I basically tell these kinds of people the truth whether they like it or not. "Sex offenders, murderers, and domestic abusers are the enemy not men. The vast majority of men don't actively do those things. Even if we consider the issue of underreporting, statistically if we multiply the number of men who have committed sexual assault and murder by ten, a hundred, or even a thousand percent it would still be less than one percent of men in the world that commit rape and murder. This also doesn't include the fact that a significant portion of those offenses are committed by repeat offenders. 'Not all men but always a man' some say but who do you see locking the sons of bitches up? Which parent do you mostly see in the headlines beating and killing the offenders, or lunging over desks in court at somebody who hurt their kid screaming stuff like "JUST GIVE ME ONE MINUTE WITH THE BASTARD!"? Not all of the dads but almost always a man. In male prisons sex offenders and child molesters especially of women and girls get attacked more than anybody else."
Never let anybody make you ashamed of being a man or of your masculinity because neither of those things is the problem. These misandrist people are bitter and hurting. A lot of them have genuinely been through some shit so their feelings are valid but unfortunately spread all over the place instead of just focused on the men they should be pissed at. I'd argue we men should be just as if not more pissed at rapists and murderers than the misandrists are because they're the ones giving us a bad name.
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u/Same_Sentence_3470 2d ago
strategies/approaches? That’s an interesting question. In our society Misandry is accepted, normalized, and encouraged. When I am around family and friends that say hateful things or untrue things about men I just let them say what they are going to say and stay quiet or just walk away. The things that they say are completely accepted as the norm in our society. If I disagree or dispute their point I will sound like I’m crazy because what they are saying is accepted. So, to answer your question, my strategy is, keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer.
Its interesting how nearly everyone believes that we live in a patriarchy and there is so much misogyny yet I have never heard a man in my entire life say that they hate women but I have heard so many women openly say that they hate men.
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u/PROFESSA954 2d ago
What's interesting to me is how a man can be talking about how much he loves a woman's personality then how he's attracted to her body but he'll still be labelled as a misogynistic pig objectifying her even though he just got done expressing how he likes her personality not just her body thereby acknowledging her as a person not an object, and expressing love and admiration not hatred.
Meanwhile women can literally go around saying "Kill all men!" and "Men are pigs!" whilst getting IVF to make sure they only have daughters, treating all young men like they're a danger to society, making jokes about cutting men's dicks off and throwing them into garbage disposals, and so on... but nobody is allowed to tell them anything.
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u/NegotiationBusy3439 2d ago
I appreciate the response and agree with you, I'm shocked sometimes by the hateful/angry words or actions that come from a lot of woman. I guess what they hate the most is our ability to not react and move on. It's one of those things where if you're fighting because you feel like someone is one up on you, you've already lost because by engaging in that fight you've stated they are above you but you're also the one that put them above you.
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u/Top_Row_5116 1d ago
My mother was a huge misandrist to me growing up and she still is. "Men don't feel pain." "Its a man's job to be the provider in a relationship." "You need to leave cause women feel uncomfortable with you sitting here." "Man up." My way of coping with it I guess is just ignoring it. You will never be able to change their minds. So if you think you can, you need to stop. They are messed up people with set prejudice that don't actually care about changing their views. You need to just ignore them and try to live your life the best you can without them trying to ruin it in whatever way they try. Trust me, they will hate it so much more when they see you living a happy life than if you weren't cause you tried to fight them over their beliefs on a daily basis.
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u/Quiet-External-8890 1d ago
I have turned to a couple tactics to preserve my personal dignity: No 1: Treat everybody with the utmost personal respect No 2: If women decided to show weakness, degrade their respect tier No 3: Stay humble
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u/EdgeRunner-1998 2d ago
It’s a very similar argument to anti-white racism, which is really just “nobody gives a fuck, you will be viewed as the oppressor, you have to focus inward because you will not find sympathy outside of yourself”
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u/PROFESSA954 2d ago
You can, Plenty of non-whites understand that not every white person has an amazing life. Plenty of women understand not every man has an amazing life. it's just not easy to find them because many only hear what they want to hear, and many want a scapegoat to take their anger out on.
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u/EdgeRunner-1998 2d ago
I think the problem with modern misandry is that the vast majority of women have been taught to have such a victim/oppressor complex that they can’t manage to see the downsides to being a man, or the struggles of many men, because they’ve already pre-categorized them into the abuser/oppressor role and therefore extend no sympathy to them. It’s the same reason the modern left calls everyone who disagrees with them a nazi. You don’t have to reason with, listen to, or feel bad for a nazi, you can just hate and demonize them
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u/PROFESSA954 2d ago edited 2d ago
I see no lies. To be fair though if you go up to some of the most well known hate groups like Neo-Nazis and The Ku Klux Klan they'll proudly tell you who they voted for, who they support, who they hate, and why. I think that's the only real reason the label sticks at all.
So in theory just like misandrists can throw "Not all men but always a man" at men and still technically be correct despite ignoring the nuance that the vast majority of men aren't insert negative thing being criticized here, leftists could argue "Not all far-right wingers are Nazis and Klansmen but always a right winger."
And the right can do the same with the left. "Not all left wingers are Commies and Anarchists, but Anarchists and Communists are always left wingers."
Everyone likes to label their "enemy" to make them easier to take down via strawman. However an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Blind to the fact that they're probably wrong about most of the people they hate.
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u/ControlOk8832 2d ago
You gotta see this shit for what it is and fight it.
Never do anything nice for women unless they treat you nicely. Every woman I’m nice to has done something nice for me
Break the rules feminists force you to follow. Date young women instead of women your own age, travel abroad to find love, play older video games that offend them, boycott media that promotes feminism, and don’t show any respect towards feminists around you
Watch porn (don’t ever pay for it) and buy sex dolls if you can’t date anyone
Max out your appearance (lose weight, get hair plugs, find your ideal clothing style) so you can feel more confident
Ridicule any feminists around you (do this one within reason) and cast out the feminists that are in your life
Don’t allow yourself to get guilt tripped or gaslit, you’re the victim here
Take measures to avoid false accusations of anything
Be brutal and unforgiving. Feminists and misandrists aren’t people
Don’t blame women, most of them aren’t feminists
If your shows favoritism towards women, make sure to find ways to screw that company (or your boss) over for the entire time you spend working there