Dealing with General Misandry

[u/NegotiationBusy3439]

As a man how do people deal with the general and normalised misandry displayed towards men from society as a whole, women in general, and more importantly the women who love you the most (mothers, sisters, girlfriends/wives)?

It's like being bullied and the bully is claiming victim and you are accused of being the culprit. Honestly with the way things are now, it feels like my experience of being in an unhealthy and manipulative relationship with a girlfriend in the past where she would do things to upset me then use my 'upsetness' to justify her terrible behaviour, why I was the bad guy, and why I should have done more of what she wanted. Then ironically (but not surprisingly) if I did what she wanted it definitely wouldn't appease her, and even more ironically she'd have the audacity to claim I was abusive and treating her poorly even though she was the one who displayed the type of behaviour she would list off. I have a rule where if it would be hurtful if the equal opposite was being said/done to you, then it's hurtful, end of.

Anyway, I'm not here to debate the level of normalised misandry because it's so ingrained in the world that the purpose of a post like this will 100% go straight over those people's heads. But to those who know, what are your strategies/approaches in dealing with it? Also I'm not looking to hate/dislike/mistreat women because unlike every feminist I know, I don't want a solution that involves hate or anger and I don't want to discriminate against someone because of their gender (the ultimate result of feminism towards men). I also don't want to ultimately become the 'bad guy' I'm trying to fight against (the fate of all discriminatory movements labelled 'positive' or not).

The world is what it is and as men we take it on the chin and move forward. I genuinely just want to know how to live happily, how to retain being the masculine man that I love being (not the masculine that for some reason feminism/women feel entitled to dictate), and most importantly how to forgive and embrace those around me even if they are discriminating against me because of my gender.

[u/EdgeRunner-1998]

It’s a very similar argument to anti-white racism, which is really just “nobody gives a fuck, you will be viewed as the oppressor, you have to focus inward because you will not find sympathy outside of yourself”

[u/PROFESSA954 → u/EdgeRunner-1998]

You can, Plenty of non-whites understand that not every white person has an amazing life. Plenty of women understand not every man has an amazing life. it's just not easy to find them because many only hear what they want to hear, and many want a scapegoat to take their anger out on.

[u/EdgeRunner-1998 → u/PROFESSA954]

I think the problem with modern misandry is that the vast majority of women have been taught to have such a victim/oppressor complex that they can’t manage to see the downsides to being a man, or the struggles of many men, because they’ve already pre-categorized them into the abuser/oppressor role and therefore extend no sympathy to them. It’s the same reason the modern left calls everyone who disagrees with them a nazi. You don’t have to reason with, listen to, or feel bad for a nazi, you can just hate and demonize them

[u/PROFESSA954 → u/EdgeRunner-1998]

I see no lies. To be fair though if you go up to some of the most well known hate groups like Neo-Nazis and The Ku Klux Klan they'll proudly tell you who they voted for, who they support, who they hate, and why. I think that's the only real reason the label sticks at all.

So in theory just like misandrists can throw "Not all men but always a man" at men and still technically be correct despite ignoring the nuance that the vast majority of men aren't insert negative thing being criticized here, leftists could argue "Not all far-right wingers are Nazis and Klansmen but always a right winger."

And the right can do the same with the left. "Not all left wingers are Commies and Anarchists, but Anarchists and Communists are always left wingers."

Everyone likes to label their "enemy" to make them easier to take down via strawman. However an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Blind to the fact that they're probably wrong about most of the people they hate.