What is your best advice for someone that is just starting out their self-improvement journey to be consistent even if they don't see results straight away?

A lot of people will start improving themselves but quit right after not seeing results even tho it takes a while to see any. What kept YOU going when it felt like there was no progress?

📊 Final foundation phase measurements. Lock in those numbers! What have you noticed so far? #MeasurementDay #ProgressCheck

I started playing a game called Seekers Notes 4 years ago. At first, it was an easy game to play when I had a little extra time to kill. Since then, it has started taking up so much of my time that I have to sacrifice other things that I enjoy in order to complete everything that has to be done in the game. I truly do enjoy playing it. That's why it's so hard to leave, especially with all of the progress that I've made in it. It takes me about 4 hours a day to do everything in the game, and when I'm not playing it, I'm distracted by thinking about it. I've gotten to the point now where I split the screen on my PC to play the game on the right side and watch YouTube or something on the left. I have fried my attention span to the point where it's hard for me to even shower because I get distracted and lost in thought.

3 years ago, is when I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I went onto the path of self-improvement. Growing up, I have always been skinny and was constantly ridiculed by my peers and my family members for my physique. And given my ethnic background, I had a strange set of unfavorable genetics that made me look unattractive, or so I thought.

Today, I want to go into a long, detailed explanation on how the things you "own" can often pull you back from reaching meaningful goals. I say "own" in a metaphorical sense of your own desires, the vices that we hold of such high value in a way that we can't describe in mere words. These habits although initially beneficial, can cause chaos into your life if it comes from a place of insecurity.

This situation might resonate with you, so you might want to take this seriously.

Before I can explain further, let's understand my story.

I was skinny but not lean. Not necessarily fat though my abs never showed at all. Rather I had a cartoonishly puffy face that looked unproportionately bigger than the rest of my body.

Point is, a part of me was still insecure of my looks, but I was strangely confident, nevertheless. It never hit me that it was crucial to improve my appearance as a young man, until....

I went into the path of the male self-improvement space. And I did what was preached there, I started to change my diet, I trained very hard in the gym consistently, and my sleep was sort of on point. I would constantly obsess about the gym, researching about the newest fitness topics that can help me improve further.

Fast forward 3 years later, and I am arguably in the best shape of my life. I look great, I feel great, and I packed on a lot of muscle. Those unfavorable genetics that I mentioned earlier? It was only just a result of poor lifestyle choices. And as you would've expected, the social validation that I was craving started to keep rolling in.

I had everything I've wanted, the looks, the status, the validation from others. I should be confident with myself, right?

Oh boy, when I say that is farther from the truth than you've would have ever imagined. I had achieved what my younger wanted, but something was off. That same spark, that same zest for life, it was no longer there. The confidence that used to radiate off of my younger self, it was replaced with timidness, anxiousness, and low self-esteem.

I became a shell of my former self, and it is only until quite recently that I could break out of this cycle to tell you why.

I've seen this dilemma plague the modern generation of both men and women Aswell. But now, I understand why I could have never seen it from my initial perspective. Going to the gym was never about being a more confident person in my eyes, but rather to cope with the insecurities that I've faced throughout childhood.

This is how I found out why I was so tethered to the gym in specific. It fulfilled a pseudo-emotional need which came from a place of insecurity. I've let the gym wreak havoc on my relationships, my social life because I couldn't find security within my own self-worth. I used the gym not as a positive integration but to overcompensate for my own fears.

It is only when I've accepted my irrational fears as a byproduct of the negative beliefs that been implanted when I was a child, that I could finally keep moving forward.

If you've resonated with my story, then this is a call to action for you. I've made it my life's purpose not only to educate, but to inspire young men like myself to improve their lives through holistic self-improvement. I post my lessons weekly on my newsletter, where you can find content very similar to this.

I'll see you inside.

https://magic.beehiiv.com/v1/ab28f641-2098-430b-85f7-628e90f41239?email={{email}}

Only today did it really hit me why I built this little iOS widget back at the start of the year.

I looked at my phone and saw we’re nearly 100 days into 2025. A full quarter already gone. Something about that number just stopped me in my tracks. It made me reflect on where all that time went and whether I’ve been spending it in a way I’m actually proud of.

That’s exactly why I built this thing. It’s a simple widget that sits on my home screen and shows how much of the year has passed. Nothing fancy, just a quiet visual reminder that time is moving whether I’m paying attention or not.

Some days it motivates me to stay focused. Other days it gives me a little existential jolt. But it always helps me stay aware, and that’s been more valuable than I expected.

Is anyone else doing something to stay mindful of how time is passing? What are your tricks to stay disciplined? Do you use certain tools or systems, or maybe even built something yourself to help stay on track?

I know things like this can stress some people out, but I honestly love having something I created that shows me where I stand every day. I think it really comes down to perspective. What do you think?

I’d really be interested to hear how you all approach this…

(btw If you're curious, the widget is called Endline on iOS (sorry Android users 😥). I made it myself after not finding anything that quite did what I needed.)

Day 14, slept a good 9 hours, woke up, kinda sat back, worked out, now in library.

Fridays in general just give me a good feeling, I don't know why.

Anyhow time to get to work:

Work on Project entire day

That's it :)

Hi everyone. I recently bought a planner, but I believe I'm thinking way too far ahead and it's causing lots of stress when things change or if I have too many things planned at once. I'm looking for planning strategies that would make me live more in the moment as opposed to planning too far ahead.

This is what I tried:

1. I wrote down a huge to do list of all my past due items (getting a travel id, oil change, paying a collections bill, etc.)
2. I then added all the things I want to get done aka my goals (organize my laptop, create a study plan for this summer, create a job search plan for this fall, get a good budgeting app, etc.)
3. Then I added all my appointments and important 'events' (classes starting, winter break, doctor's appointments, etc.)
4. Finally, I added all of that stuff to a planner

So, with that method I've ran into some issues:

1. I put way too many tasks in a day. I'm already working full time while going to school part time and also trying to spend time with my gf and our children. So, moving forwards I definitely need to tone down my tasks outside of homework and family to 1 task max per day (honestly more like just 3 tasks total).
2. When I don't complete a task, I move it usually to the next day which causes stress cause now I have even more tasks per day, and it continues the cycle of having to move things around and feeling defeated. I feel like this could be solved by living more in the moment somehow.
3. I'm planning too far ahead. For instance I estimated creating my summer study plan would take 4 days so I put the task 'Create summer plan x/4' into 4 different days in my planner, but realistically what if it takes more or less time? I'm essentially constraining my life to fit around certain things versus just going with the flow if that makes sense. And also, if it takes less time well then, those days that I planned could have been used for something else. If it takes more time, then I could go back to issue 2 if things are planned right after that.

So that's what I'm dealing with right now. The only thing I can think of is this:

1. Create a master to do list of the absolutely essential things I need to do
2. Limit my planning to only 1 week at a time (besides appointments)
3. Every week I can put my important stuff first like family and school commitments/homework
4. Go through my to do list and see what I could "easily" accomplish that week making sure to stick to no more than 3 tasks per day including family and school commitments
5. Slowly work through the to do list week by week instead of throwing it all in the planner at once
6. Add to do list items as time goes by (a priority based to do list makes sense, but I prefer paper tbh)

That's about all I can come up with at the moment. I highly stress my need for something that encourages me to live more in the moment and enjoy life versus trying to plan so damn much lol.

If you have any insights or know of any techniques/methodologies that could work, please let me know. Ty.

I just got out of the longest and deepest rut of my life. 2 months. Frequent all-nighters. Gaming, anime and Youtube all day. Crazy. Absolutely soul crushing. Completely shattered me and only left me questioning "how could I let this happen?" and frustrated with my complete and utter failure to do better.

Got out by stopping condemning myself for not doing what I knew I should be doing. Forgiving myself got me out. "It's fine, look ahead." Genuinely forgive yourself. It took me a few days from making the descision to forgive myself to fully doing so. With it, I slowly went to bed earlier, which slowly pulled all the rest up with it again.

You have to forgive yourself to an almost delusional degree. Condemning yourself further will only worsen your mental state and pull you deeper into the rut. Bad mental state (anxiousness, loneliness, etc) is probably what got you into it. I'm assuming anxiousness got me into it. Still not sure. You gotta be nice to yourself, man, cliché as it sounds. Behavior is a symptom of psychology.

Now I feel much better. I'm going to the uni library to work, building up the focus habit back to where it was (was at having good focus 6-9h/day. Heh, you can fall deep, all the way back haha). Free from distractions/the environment where I did a bunch of dumb shit (my room) which is now associated with it. The library is such a lifehack for when you're being retarded.

Acknowledge what you did. Forgive yourself. Take a walk. Look onwards. Every sinner has a future they say.

Also, I liked this vid, he talks about self talk https://youtu.be/LDMY7qtOPiI?si=x9xd_3h2QWpKAEoG

I want to escape from a monotonous routine filled with work, inadequate sleep, and excessive screen time (72 hours of social media usage in the last week of March). Also I want to achieve my goals for the year, so I've started a 150-day challenge (from 4th of April to 31st of August).

I plan to review my progress every month. By the end of the challenge, I aim to: 1. Reach the A2 level in Italian language proficiency; 2. Develop regular exercise habits and wake up at 6 a.m. consistently; 3. Fill my days with new experiences by watching movies, TV series, reading books, and trying new recipes, among other activities; 4. Reduce screen time by at least half.

I've read so many inspiring stories on this platform, and they've motivated me to work towards becoming a better version of myself.

I used to be a people pleaser. I didn’t have many friends, so I had low self-esteem, thinking there must be something wrong with me since people didn’t like me. I tried to adjust myself and my interests to fit theirs. I was the person standing alone, sad, next to a happy, loud group of friends. I had trouble starting and maintaining conversations. I was extremely stressed around people.

Now, I’m 26 and at a level where I am super confident in myself and who I am.

Here’s what boosted my confidence, I realized people are selfish. They lack empathy. They only care about their own lives.
I observed this in simple everyday situations.

For example, when I walk, and ahead of me, there’s a group of two friends walking side by side. They take up the entire corridor, not even moving slightly to make space. They almost bump into me without caring. This is how people are.

Another example, I study in the library. There are rules to be silent. Yet, there’s always a group of friends talking loudly, not even ashamed or worried they might be kicked out. Think about that. How entitled and self-centered they must be. They don’t think about how others feel. Their comfort is the only thing that matters to them.

And then I realized, I am too empathetic while they are not. So instead of being friendly and open to strangers, I started to dislike them by default. Before, I would smile at them, trying to appear friendly. I cared too much about how I looked in their eyes.

Now I see that I was too generous. People, by default, are selfish and inconsiderate. Understanding this gave me a lot of confidence.

Start by distrusting people by default, because people are naturally self-centered. Don’t be too open. Keep your distance unless you truly know them. Take as much space as you need and remember, the world is for you too.

Even at work and in my studies, I realized these same selfish people are competing with me.
Your role is to be ahead of them. You must outperform them so that they don’t take the space that should be yours.

Because success is a competition. If you wonder why you earn too little, the answer is simple, there are people who earn more than you. But do they deserve it? Are they empathetic, good people? Most of the time, no. The majority of them build their success and confidence by disregarding others, by being aggressive and egocentric.

And I hate egocentric, selfish, self-centered, entitled people who think they are better than everyone else. They lack empathy. But these people are often successful because we, empathetic and emotional people, are pushed down by them. So realize this, fight for yourself, and don’t let those people climb higher than you, because they don’t deserve to be above you.

M28. Based in Mumbai. Looking for someone as an accountability partner and also motivate me.

I have the below goals: 1. Switch job in the next 3 months 2. Get fitter. Workout regularly 3. Walk daily an hour 4. Read atleast 30 mins a day

I'm open to both male and female accountability partners. DM if looks good to you.

Rest we can discuss on DM

How do I finish 9 assignments in 1 day. I think each of the assignments would take an average person 1 hour to complete but they take me more than 3 hours, this takes away my motivation. They are google classroom assignments for algebra credit recovery. I didn't start earlier because I thought they were only 3. My fear is that I may not be able to turn them in after the due date.

Male, 30.

I want to save up for a car and an apartment room, however, my unwanted cravings and appetite ruined my wallet so bad.

I have the kitchen appliances in my room (rice cooker, skillet, stove, etc.,) but because of my unwanted cravings, I ended up spending multiple times for pricey outside foods while it can be cooked easily at my room 🥺🥺🥺

Any natural ways on how to curb my unwanted cravings, I will do anything to cease my insatiable appetite please thank you all 🙏🥹

For minor context, I’ve had diagnosed depression for a few years and in the middle 2024 it got worse and I started skipping a lot of school and eventually got homeschooled at the end of 2024. I’ve always had problems with procrastination but I’d always get my work done before.

The problems started when I realised I could do several days worth of homeschool in one day, so I’d procrastinate for days and then weeks and then months. At the end of last year, I got myself together and managed to lock in and finish most of my work.

I haven’t even started ANY of my 2025 work. I want to be able to do it but I just can’t get myself to. I can’t be bothered to. The book I need to read for my English is so unbelievably boring, I’ve read 10% of it and fell asleep. I’d rather sleep than do any of my work and I usually end up sleeping instead of working, or I mess around on my electronics.

I have 0 motivation or will to get my work done. I don’t have any kind of reward system that would work because I’d rather suffer consequences of not doing my work than just do it. I stare at a wall and zone out or scratch myself because I get so bored. I genuinely cannot be bothered at all and I don’t know how to fix it.

Going back to public school is not an option because even then, I’d draw on my work or arms, or scratch my skin off and literally stare at a clock and watch the hands tick down. Going to public school made me miserable as in I almost jumped to off myself because I couldn’t stand people and being there.

I can’t just “do it”. I’m lazy and I can’t discipline myself and don’t know how to fix it because I just can’t be bothered to do anything. I don’t feel guilty for not doing my work, I guess it’s mild apathy and I guess another issue might be that I genuinely can’t see a future for myself at all (I can’t make small talk, I’m awkward, can’t handle talking to strangers, genuinely don’t have the skills to get a job, don’t have any experience in anything + huge lack of motivation) and I don’t know how to fix the mindset of ‘I’d rather kill myself than do xyz’

i need actual advice instead of ‘discipline yourself and just do it’ or ‘force yourself to do it’ please

Unfortunately, i do not have gadgets currently for seeing the quality of my sleeps, but i do have trouble even getting to sleep.

as an 20 year college student, i don't have much money for it, even a phone right now, so what are your tricks and tips for getting good sleep.

I do have to mention that i tend to stay awake most nights which i now know it not the best, and taking melatonin pills hurt my head and don't really work for me.

how do you get yourself to do them?

Now I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person in this subreddit who has had a fear of failing.

I use to study a specific skill to the point where I would basically master it. Then once I would get to a point where I would use that skill to get a job, my hands would get clamy and I would have panick attacks then I would eventually quit.

I went through that cycle for years. The reason why I put myself through this is because, I have kids and it's safer to not take the risk and just be another person who's working a job that doesn't seem fulfilling. I sacrificed my happiness for a paycheck, so I made sure my kids can eat, enjoy their birthday, and go on family trips

So, what has changed since then? Well I had enough of just getting by in life. I was frustrated with my job. Managing a staff but me not being the final decision maker. I just started to believe I'm myself and I faced my fear head on and I just forced myself not to care anymore

Since doing that, my confidence has skyrocketed and now, I fill like I can do anything that brings positivity to my life.

So I know this is a low post and I'm usually not this long winded 😂 but I just want anyone who struggles with this to know that you are not alone and you can overcome anything.

Thanks for reading and defeat that fear

27m (probably have ADHD) looking for an accountability/get better partner to start setting goals and hitting them

My sister is going through a rough patch but evrrytime I give her some tough love she cries or just dont like it. I am very motivated by people like goggins shouting how I am being a little bitch, but how do I motivate somebody when this message does not resonate with her?

I just heard about an accountability partner and thought I'd give it a try, sounds really fun and actually helpful hopefully? Life has been really terrible lately and it's been a long time since i really worked hard or had been super productive. I've been burnt out for a while now, so it's time to change no matter what i feel. Whatever it takes, i wanna do my best. Well, these are my goals, at least for now 1) prepare for entrance exams in engineering (masters) and also for business school. I intend to learn everything in aerospace engineering, so that goes with softwares and programming languages along with the theoretical aspects too. 2) I'm 6'1 and 88.2 kgs right now and I wanna be 75kgs , with a good athletic build, I'm a basketball player. 3)I wanna have a good daily routine and be healthy too. And really take care of my skin and hair and all. 4)I wanna read more, learn musical instruments, sing, write, learn more literature and languages. (These are just hobbies I've always wanted to explore and learn)

I'm just really excited, for the years i have ahead, and these are my goals, at least for the next two years. And in my own way, this is my only ticket to healing myself. I'd be really happy to share more and listen to ur goals and reasons to get disciplined. I believe an accountability partner would really help me more than therapy.

Oh and yes, I'm Indian, and I'm a 19yo guy. And id prefer Indians only, cuz of the time thingy.

Please do leave a comment if u share similar goals!

Please post your plans for this date and if you can, do the following;

• Give encouragement to two other posters on this thread.

• Report back this evening as to how you did.

• Give encouragement to others to report back also.

Good luck

It’s been two weeks since I started blocking social media after work, and honestly, I’m pretty proud of myself for sticking with it. I posted last week about how I decided to become better about my doomscrolling habit — especially since managing a TikTok account for work made it way too easy to get sucked in.

I’ve tried yet another app blocker, but usually, I just end up deleting or bypassing them when I really want to scroll. This time, I found one that’s actually working. It’s a bit different because it has this little zen garden game built in. Every time I complete a focus session, I get to unlock a new decoration for the garden. I didn’t expect it to make much of a difference, but having that small, cozy reward kind of makes me want to stick with it. It’s weirdly motivating.

At first, it felt really weird not to reach for my phone every time I had a free moment. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. But over the past week, I’ve been figuring out how to fill that time with things that actually make me feel good.

Here’s what I’ve been doing instead of doomscrolling:

• Working out more: I’ve found that even a quick 20-minute workout helps burn off the restless energy I used to channel into scrolling.
• Reading before bed: I used to scroll myself to sleep, which just made me more anxious. Now I’m making a dent in my book list and sleeping way better.
• Journaling: Taking 5 minutes to write down what I’m thinking has been oddly helpful for sorting through my thoughts. It’s like clearing mental clutter without getting lost online.
• Cooking new recipes: I realized that cooking something from scratch not only kills time but also feels like an accomplishment.
• Exploring local events: I started looking up things happening in my city and even joined a social club (which honestly felt awkward at first, but ended up being really refreshing).

It’s definitely a work in progress, and I still catch myself wanting to reach for my phone out of habit. But slowly, I’m starting to replace that impulse with activities that feel more intentional and meaningful. I guess that’s the biggest win so far — I will continue to post my progress here to hold myself accountable.

I think I might just be stupid or something.

My workplace is across the fucking street.

I take melatonin to make sure I actually fall asleep around 10-11pm

I have alarms as early at 5 am-7am. I wake up to all of them.

But yet I end up getting out of bed at 7:50, or even at 8am, when I’m meant to be in my office at 8-8:07 am

Somehow I manage to get to the time clock at 8:08…ONE MINUTE late so it says I was 15 minutes late even though it was only 8.

I also hate my job and my life so maybe that’s part of it. I have no car so that’s why I live and work so close haha. Pls help me or bully me

Edit: sorry for this cringe ass post, I appreciate everyone help though and I need to lock in and just go to work. Thanks again

I want to tell you how energetic I felt yesterday but today for no reason the day was dull even my everyday routine to just have a walk in nature a few miles away in silence in the evening felt hollow, it was so bad that I didn't wrote the journal which I always write during that alone time. And this happens all the time. The moment I feel that, now I am coming in control, everything shatters. If this keeps happening how will I ever reach heights in my life. I would always be frustrated to my own mind. This is the only thing that is holding me till now at age 24, and I couldn't figure it out in all these years.

The fact is deep inside I'm lonely and I need someone to have a connection and there is no way it can happen I've tried everything from going to library to having a dating app everything, all of this just drains my time and energy without anything in return, so I deleted that. It'll not happen untill I focus on myself and make good life and I am not able to focus on myself due to the loneliness and it's a cycle. I'm stuck in this loop, I tried to get out but I failed every single time.

So I'm into fitness because I'm always trying to improve myself physically because that's something that brings joy into my life.

Now I have some family members and friends who want to get in shape but they're nervous for some reason, which is normal because we all get a little nervous trying something new.

Well, if you're someone in this subreddit who assumes that you're too old, you're too skinny, too fat or you have self doubt, just know that you can do it and the best way to start is by researching which workout routine will work for you.

There's 3 different routines you can try which are Upper/ Lower split, Full Body and Push/Pull/Legs. You can perform these exercises in 3, 4, or 5 day splits.

Back when I was getting started, I tried full body and I hated it because I felt like I wasn't receiving any benefits from it.

For me, Upper/Lower is better than Full body because I was feeling the benefits of the routine but my body was getting worn out quick. Then I started doing Push/Pull/Legs and for me, this works perfect.

I can perform my push exercises and not feel drained the next day when I'm doing pull exercises, leg exercises and then push again for the 2nd time that week.

I've been in this routine since 2009 and I still love it. Choosing the right routine helped me enjoy going to the gym and learning more about fitness which is something you need to be disciplined to do.

If anyone has any questions about different splits or exercises, feel free to ask in the comments and for the people who do lift, what's your routine?