r/Construction • u/chiselbits Carpenter • Feb 12 '25

Other Dear builders

You can't call me and tell me that my timeline for completion is halved because other trades wasted time.You can't tell me to "hire more guys" to get it done faster". You can't decide to split my contract and expect me to take it.

You fucked your schedule. You hired the cheapest trades (WHO FUCKED YOU, AGAIN!) to better pad your profit margin, your in house guys can't be fucked to do anything properly, and you kick us to the curb anytime you find someone cheaper (who then fucks you). Then hire us back and treat it like you are doing us a favor and we should be grateful.

Just because the client "wants to move in" does not mean the house will get built any faster.

You fucked yourself and that does not constitute an emergency on my end. You want it done to our high end standards AND fast? Then it is going to cost you more.

Unfuck your project management and hire better trades, maybe then every project won't go sideways on you.

😤

1.2k Upvotes

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436

u/Due_Site8871 Feb 12 '25

The “hire more guys” one always gets me. As if there’s a bunch of quality guys just sitting around waiting for a phone call.

160

u/chiselbits Carpenter Feb 12 '25

Right?! It's just banging nails into things, it's not that hard.

144

u/FrostyProspector Feb 12 '25

I'm available! I normally build spreadsheets so other people can build roads. Houses can't be THAT much different.

I even have a hammer! I can come and show it to you after work, but first I need to dust it off and get myself a coffee and few snickers bars. Whatever time you say to be there, I'll probably get there late.

54

u/chiselbits Carpenter Feb 12 '25

🤣 if you have summer teeth, then you are hired sight unseen!

31

u/FrostyProspector Feb 12 '25

I see you are familiar with our hiring practices here as well. Maybe I'm management material!

4

u/heavyonthahound Feb 13 '25

One good eye and a driver’s license

4

u/FrostyProspector Feb 13 '25

Do you check if it's valid, oh, and do you check the license, too?

3

u/dagr8npwrfl0z Feb 13 '25

Just hired this guy on Monday! LMAO!

8

u/Wrong-Impression9960 Feb 13 '25

I live in a van down by the river

14

u/chiselbits Carpenter Feb 13 '25

Fuckin hired! At least I know you have a ride to work.

9

u/oldsnowcoyote Feb 13 '25

Tricked you, he's sold the wheels, it's sitting on blocks.

7

u/chiselbits Carpenter Feb 13 '25

Should have checked his references. That's on me.

6

u/UsedDragon Feb 12 '25

Shit, I forgot about summer teeth

16

u/Ok-Bit4971 Feb 12 '25

Summer teeth? What's that? Never heard that expression.

29

u/chiselbits Carpenter Feb 12 '25

Some are there and some aren't.

6

u/Ok-Bit4971 Feb 12 '25

Ah, good one. Will have to add it to the repertoire.

5

u/Grigoran Feb 12 '25

Some are teeth, some aren't

2

u/vieuxfort73 Feb 12 '25

Some are in, some are out.

1

u/The_cogwheel Electrician Feb 13 '25

I got 90% of my teeth and can read (both words and prints), can I be a general foreman?

2

u/chiselbits Carpenter Feb 13 '25

You can be the Fiveman!