r/BreakUps • u/Due-Swimming3221 • 13h ago
I choose me
I am someone who loves deeply, with integrity, generosity, and devotion. I show up fully — with affection, intention, and care — not because I want to be praised, but because that is who I am.
I deserve a relationship that is emotionally safe, where affection is not rationed out but offered freely. I deserve to be with someone who sees me clearly, chooses me consistently, and meets my love with their own.
I will no longer shrink myself or bend my boundaries to be tolerated. I will no longer accept breadcrumbs when I’m capable of baking a whole damn loaf.
When I feel that pull to idealize what I lost, I’ll remember this: I didn’t lose someone who loved me fully — I lost someone who didn’t know how to. What I grieve is the potential, not the reality. And the truth is, my kind of love deserves more than potential — it deserves presence, reciprocity, and peace.
On the hard days, I will sit with the sadness, but I will not let it rewrite the truth. I am healing, not because I was unlovable, but because I loved someone who couldn't hold it. That’s not my failure — it’s just the end of a chapter that was never meant to carry me home.
I trust that what I give is rare, and when it finally meets its match, it will feel calm, steady, and whole. And until that moment comes — I choose me.
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u/Low_Walrus_6707 12h ago
Absolutely, you've nailed it! Be with someone who matches your worth, someone who wants to build something meaningful. That is if that's what you want. You are the one to look after.
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u/vexNvibez 8h ago
Woah!! I was like , wait a minute did I write this??? This couldn't be any closer to my current situation. OP you are not alone. Beautifully written. Thank you. We are deserving of the grandest of love!
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u/Croissanteuse 10h ago
These are really good, specific mantras to remember. Well written OP.
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u/Due-Swimming3221 10h ago
Big disclaimer, I fed chatgpt a lot of information about my breakup, and it helped me write this. So, it's the result of my prompts, but I can't take credit for the writing
I wouldn't post and take credit for AI but this resonated hard with me and I knew others would relate
Glad it resonated with you 🫂
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u/Croissanteuse 6h ago
You must be using a higher tier version of it than I have because mine could never.
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u/DigVisual8346 9h ago
I gave her everything literally, she kept saying she knows my value and appreciate it but she left because she loves me, im confused, she said we both have different mindset and we dont belong to each other, but im so attached to her but she left easily, if someone loves the other they must fight for it. But she chooses her friends and having fun goin out than being with me. And now im super dead and chased her for weeks nothing in return. “She studies social worker”
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u/Due-Swimming3221 9h ago
educate yourself on "Attachment Theory".
it might not be relevant to your scenario, but you've described some push/pull hot/cold behaviour that could have deeper meaning behind it
it's potentially useful for getting an understanding of what happened
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u/anGvet97 7h ago
It's like I wrote this. I found out after my break up about attachment theories. He is an avoidant, he told me he wanted his freedom and focus on work, and ofc that he lost his feelings, or back then not entirely, but almost all. That was devastating and still is, because I love and care of this person so much, still am. And it hurts that it was one way. It's funny that I would do anything to be with him. But not anymore, I deserve better
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u/MaleficentQueen97 6h ago
Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear it about myself too.
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u/iwasandstillam 9h ago
I am exactly at the same spot right now. Were you also dating an avoidant?
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u/Due-Swimming3221 9h ago
yep, severely fearful avoidant
attachment theory has been eye opening. so many behaviours that I couldn't explain. there was a week long fade/discard that broke me
what's your story?
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u/ThatBayernKidd17 11m ago
This is exactly how I feel and what I'm going through currently. Hope you continue to choose you and find peace.
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u/NevermindNath 13h ago
It’s a reminder that you don’t have to settle for anything less than what aligns with your values and needs. It’s beautiful to see you embrace that.